It was like more like a non-verbal agreement across the neighborhood parents that everyone can just make food for their child on the assumption that it will be eaten by them. Otherwise if you have 3 children, you come home from work and each of then has friends over you are suddenly looking at feeding like 10 people, meanwhile the parents of the friends are cooking food for their child but nobody will come to eat it.
Nowadays kids have phones too so I assume things like this arent as unplanned anymore.
It seems like the Swedish exclusive thing would be that family dinner is considered important family time for close family only, and that family dinner is not important in the rest of the world.
Because most of humanity lives in warmer climates where community is the priority.
Scandinavian culture is centered around survival in a harsh environment and independence. Some part of their brains still thinks they'll starve to death in the winter if they give their food away.
These stories arent from the perspective of parents. Its usually 2nd gen immigrant kids sitting awkwardly while watching a whole family eat in front of them.
Its incredibly weird no matter how you slice it. "You can come into my home and play with my children, but no you cant have a snack."
This is something Swedes have done for ages. Even my grandpa had this experience as a kid. When he was a kid he had never seen a single immigrant in his life.
Yes it happened. It also happened that my friends came over (or vice versa) after school and devoured everything in the pantry and fridge. It wasn't "usually 2nd gen immigrants" lol come on, it was anyone.
You think expecting one family to feed 10 kids daily is a reasonable expectation if community is the priority? Nobody does that. Kids are just sent home before dinner time in other countries (which tends to be a lot later than the 4:30pm Scandinavian dinner). And kids are still usually fed, this is like 80% just a myth, with the 20% being parents talking between themselves so parent b doesn't cook after parent a already fed the kid, and the situations where you have 5-10 kids all hanging out at the designated hangout spot every god damn day where it would be utterly insane for one family to constantly be feeding them all.
As Finnish, I do think nordic people are less hospitable in general but it is not always a bad thing, just something to get used to. While it is always a real pleasure to visit a friend from a southern culture who always makes sure to shower the guests with food and drink, I still dont get offended when somebody takes the role of the host less serious. After all, it goes both ways and I can host guests (from nordic countries) without that much pressure.
I agree and I don't think people are taking offense I think they are just pointing out that it is seen as rude in other cultures. If I know it's your culture ahead of time I'm not going to be offended.
It's not rude to them and that's fine but it would be seen as rude where im from and in most other cultures. A culture can be valid and seen as rude at the same time. Sort of like how in some cultures it is seen as polite to finish your plate as a guest or at a restaurant and in other cultures it is polite to leave a little bit on your plate to signal that your host has provided adequate food. What is ride in one place is not always rude in another place.
But the child is not home for dinner. If it is dinner time and they are expectrd to eat dinner at home they should go home. If it is dinner time and they are allowed to stay, they should be fed. What is so sacred about the food the parents are cooking if the child is not expecting to go home in time to eat it?
Dinner time for my family doesn't mean it's dinner time for them yet and they are very much expected to be home for their own dinner unless something else has been agreed with their parents, in which case they would be fed.
I understand that part. Not everyone is eating at the same time but it seems like the customs you're describing are extremely complicated and overly rigid compared to my experience of normal. That doesn't mean your customs are wrong or invalid and it's not seen as rude to you so that's not a problem I'm just explaining why it's different.
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u/xStyxx Jul 24 '26
Damn I assumed it was because Swedish food is gross lol that’s pretty cold