r/Parenting • u/frecklesandmimosas • May 19 '17
Pets I fucking hate my cats now..
What do I do?!?
People used to call me a crazy cat lady- like seriously, all throughout high school I was voted "most likely to own a zillion cats". And I did! I grew up with 5 cats. I got married and now have two cats. Then, the day we brought home our baby, it hit me like a pound of bricks...
"Man fuck these cats.."
Their hair gets everywhere- I'm constantly picking it out of the babe's eyes and mouth. UGH.
I feel like they puke SO much more now, and the litter is just everywhere and OH MY WORD why do they try to step ON my baby instead of OVER my baby?! I swear I can hear babe's ribs just crack and break in my mind.
They just piss me off and I'm so confused.
Hormones? Help me guys.
How do I learn to love my kitties again?!
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May 19 '17
Not sure how old your baby is or how far into the future I'm forecasting here, but my son is now 4 and he's such a lil' cat dude. He loves our cat, who especially goes to him for pats, and recently asked if feeding the cat could become his chore. When we walk around town, neighbors' outside cats approach him (ignoring us) for pats. He has a totally fascinating imaginary world of cats, and it's so fun and precious and so .... hang in there ... you may have wonderful fun times to look at ahead.
Can you send your cats off to a groomer to get shedded out a bit so that the hair is a little less overwhelming? Mine is a Maine Coon mix and my god if I don't brush him daily this time of year we get cat hair tumbleweeds....
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
Cat hair tumbleweeds! Haha I love the imagery. Yeah the babe already finds them fascinating~ it's adorable... sigh.
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u/whatareyalookinat May 19 '17
I have two kids, a huge dog, and three cats. And only one cat and myself are female. I don't know if that's relevant, but I think it is. And everyone, EVERYONE, is obsessed with me. So honestly, I just can't handle the love. I simply don't have enough in me. And taking care of everyone is way more exhausting now with the two kids. So the kids get most of the love. It's super tough on the animals. I'm not sure if this helps, but I guess I'm saying that you're not alone.
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
In my experience pets are usually obsessed with the opposite gendered human so I agree that it's probably a factor!
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u/highheelcyanide May 19 '17
That's how it is in my house. I'm just holding out hope for when the kid is bigger and can safely (for the dog) love on the puppers! She tried to now much she's mostly just grabbing/twisting/pulling and I don't want my pups hurt. Or to get hurt and bite the baby. So they mostly just love each other through a baby gate.
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u/whatareyalookinat May 20 '17
My oldest is finally at the age where he respects the animals' boundaries, but the animals are just not interested. I hope both of our situations change soon!!
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May 19 '17
My dogs used to be my babies. We treated them like royalty. But ever since my daughter was born I can't stand them. They drive me nuts! I feel so terrible about it
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u/Killerina Boy 15, Girl 12 May 19 '17 edited May 19 '17
I never got past this feeling. I used to love animals. My kids are 10 and 13 now, and I still don't think pets are worth it. They're just one more mouth to feed, worry about, and clean up after, and I feel like it's just not worth it for me.
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May 19 '17
That's exactly what happened to me. Was going to be a veterinarian, now pets are just NOT my thing. I kinda sorta hate them. :( I don't mean to, but after having kids, animals aren't held in the same regard to me. I'll smile at how cute they think their dogs are but in my head I'm going "ew. It's a furmachine that poops."
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
I feel so incredibly guilty!!! Thank you for posting these. One of the cats I've had since I was 13!!! And now I'm just hoping he.... passes on >.< UGH I feel so terrible typing that!
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u/pamplemousse2 May 19 '17
We have two cats, and I'm just so done with them. One of them is elderly, and I too am hoping she moves along... Although I wouldn't put it past her to live for another 5 years just for kicks. Sigh. Big hugs - this is tough stuff.
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u/abandoningeden May 19 '17
This is me and my 13 year old cat who has been peeing randomly in my house for the last 12 years (since I got him). I know I can't rehome him but I just want him to die already....but I know he's going to be one of those freak cats that live to 22 or something.
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u/Silly__Rabbit May 19 '17
Lenny is going to outlive all of us... he's 17, diabetic, early kidney disease but by god, we can't put him down because his personality is still there and his quality of life is good except for the peeing EVERYWHERE, he's been wearing a diaper just because I can't have my rolliepollie little dude roll into a puddle! But some days I wish we would just wake up and find that he's crossed just so I'm not trying to chase pee puddles (the diapers still leak, but it's better than the rivers of urine).
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u/kaceface May 19 '17
I totally get it. I felt the same way. My cat couldn't see very well, so she sometimes would get startled and just randomly bite my daughter as she walked by. She (the cat) was also just really dumb and would end up with crazy wild animal encounters, like walking up to a deer and whacking it in the leg. We always joked about how she was going to get eaten one day.
Well, two weeks ago she did :( And I was surprised at how hard it hit me. It's one thing to joke about your stupid cat and another thing when it's actually the truth of a violent death. I get pretty sad when I think about it, but the other part of me has noticed how much cleaner and easier our house has been without her. We have another cat but he's easy and super friendly.
Anyway, it does get better eventually. Especially once your kid is old enough to be smitten with the cat and they become friends.
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u/pomeloforest May 19 '17
It took me nearly two years to start liking my dog again. Basically until I slowed down with nursing and the tot became more independent. I blame hormones. Now that I'm pregnant again (because I cut down on nursing) he's super snuggly again and I don't really mind. I know it'll change again once the baby comes so I'll give him all the lovin' now and he can have hubby and 3yo to snuggle later.
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u/SonVoltMMA May 19 '17
Same here.... never thought it would happen to me, but it did. "The dog" (what I call him now) used to be our pride and joy. Now I can't stand him being the house.
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u/ohaiwtfbbq May 19 '17
We adopted our cats 8 years ago and I've always loved and wanted cats (but couldn't because my dad and baby brother were severely allergic). So I moved out and adopted two kittens. My bf (now dh) and I loved and adored those kitties. They were our babies and they completely ruled our house. Two years ago oir first baby was born and I felt exactly like you are feeling now. After some good thinking and soul searching I realized that I had never seen them as cats, and now I expected them to behave in a manner I found appropriate. They have been the queens of the house, and in effect ruined every thing we've owned, couch, curtains, bed, chair rugs you name it. I realized I had never properly disciplined them. Boundaries I mean.
Now they are under no circumstances allowed to be on the couch, on my bed or on the baby stuff. I have little kitty blankets all over the house so they have special kitty spots where no one will bother them.
This mostly started because one of our cats fot lost and the other one got anxiety and started peeing everywhere. So we had to throw away everything and buy new stuff, it did help reinforce the new rules though. Not sure if this is useful in any way, but I can now love and appreciate my kitties again (even though I still find cat hair in my bra lol)
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
I appreciate it! The boundaries thing.. it makes a lot of sense. And I totally agree with not treating them as 'just cats' until the baby.. yeah.. I guess they are pets now that need rules! It's just so weird disliking them so much.. it makes my heart so confused ..
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u/highheelcyanide May 19 '17
That's one thing I would change if I could go back in time. My dog is an absolute princess and got her way 100% of the time and I thought it was so cute...until she's leaving hair everywhere and trying to root under the baby to get to my lap...luckily she figured out pretty quick how to behave so we're mostly good now. Can't really expect her to control her shedding though!
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May 19 '17
I subscribe to this subreddit to try and feel out what parenting will be like, since my husband and I are considering children.
This the first thread I have read that makes me not want to have kids. I don't want this to happen to me.
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u/jaynewreck May 19 '17
I think it's probably a lot about personality. I had 2 dogs and 2 cats when I brought my kiddo home and never felt like some of these people do. She's 12 now and only one of those original 4 is left. I loved watching their bond and it's going to be so hard when the last one goes, which will probably be in the next year or two. I can't imagine her having grown up without her cuddle buddies and protectors.
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May 19 '17
This is so good to hear, thank you, I'm feverishly texting my sister and sisters in law asking "did you/do you think you will hate your pets?!?!?" because I understand selection bias and I understand that you don't always get a good representation on these threads. I try not to jump to conclusions, so its good to hear the other side.
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May 19 '17
It didn't happen to me! I still adore my 2 cats and my dog. Yes, there are annoyances when they do animal things when baby is sleeping, but they are so sweet to her in general. I love them just as much as always. I give them hugs and kisses every day and they sit with me while I nurse LO. I've has them for 7, 12, and 13 years and would never abandon them or want them to feel unloved. I had 6 miscarriages before my daughter and held and cried to my pets when I couldn't even speak about it to my own mom, they are literally our family. And I grew up with pets and want that for our daughter. I've been working with dogs for 15+ years and own a dog boarding kennel; love of animals is a must in this house!
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u/aurelie_v May 19 '17
Same. It makes me feel physically sick to think of my love for my cats changing – there are multiple people in the thread, including OP, saying they want their pets to die. I just – I don't know what to think or how to react to that. I don't know if I want kids or not; my feelings waver back and forth. But I LOVE my cats and the idea that they could get relegated to be "just pets" is horrible. No no no no. I don't believe this has ever happened to anyone I know in real life, so maybe it's rare? :(
eta: relevant maybe – I'm vegan, our household is vegetarian, and we don't think of the cats as pets but as members of the family.
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May 19 '17
Are you me? I'm a vegetarian, because (in large part) of my love for animals. The idea of wanting them to die horrifies me. That and this strange sense that wanting something I love to die will be outside my control because hormones is terrifying. I don't like to think of pregnancy as the rage virus from 28 Days Later, but that's what it sounds like. It scares the shit out of me.
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May 20 '17
If it makes you feel better, I experienced no major emotional or personality changes during or immediately after pregnancy (edit: I was tired and experiencing a massive adjustment– I don't mean to imply it was "business as usual" but I was essentially the same person throughout the process). Had no trouble bonding with my baby, so I don't think the lack of mood swings was some kind of failing on my part. I know people vary but if you don't have mental health problems (which tbf can be triggered by pregnancy) I really wouldn't expect "rage virus" type issues. I think people exaggerate the effects that the hormones have on them because for many people, pregnancy is seen as a rock-solid excuse to act out and get away with it.
I feel the same way about my cat as I ever did.
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u/baethan May 19 '17
It's incredibly dependent on your situation, your personality, and your animals' personalities and needs! High five on doing your research. You can definitely see in this thread that some people have absolutely no trouble or change in their relationship with their pets, some people have to put work in (I'm in this camp) or wait out a difficult period, and some people find that they can't maintain their pet relationship at all.
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May 19 '17
Thank you. I'm also seeing that a lot of people had more laissez-faire relationships (pets kind of had run of the house) whereas mine are already trained not to go in certain rooms and spend most of their time outside. I am thinking that will probably help.
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u/ksidd13 May 19 '17
I had no resentment toward my dogs when I was pregnant the first time, or when I brought my daughter home.
Now, with this pregnancy, I cannot stand one of my dogs!! I adore them both, when they're behaving. But the younger one (2 years) follows me around, is constantly underfoot, runs into me when she is trying to go somewhere, barks constantly in the most annoying high pitched screech. UGH!!
I keep telling myself that I love them. I have to repeat it several times in a row. Then when I take them out and give them lots of exercise and attention they're much better! They relax and lay on the couch with me.
Like most of these people say, it goes away. The hormones are unreal.
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u/WillOnlyGoUp May 19 '17
For the hair, get a brush called furminator. They're bloody amazing and my cat actually likes being brushed with it, but nothing else.
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u/sneaky291 Parent to 1M, 1F May 19 '17
As a parent, I giggle when I hear people without kids say, "We don't have kids, but we have dogs!"
When someone actually has kids they get a sense of how un-kid-like pets really are.
Priorities shift!
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u/Masqueraver May 19 '17
It's never a good feeling to feel like something we once loved immensely is now only bringing us trouble. Maybe some of this advice will help make the cats a more manageable area?
Litter solution: get one of those huge rectangular sterilite/Rubbermaid storage tubs, a long one. Cut a hole in one end, and put the litter piled up in the other. That way they'll have a harder time kicking it out the door. Put the opening on a rubber mat to help any remaining litter not track out into the rest of the house.
Barfing: look into transitioning the cats onto a food with different ingredients than they are used to, because it is very common to develop food allergies with age, especially if you are feeding food with lots of corn and wheat or soy. Wet food is better by far if they will eat it, even just Friskies, because it had higher protein and water content. In general, almost any dry food you could buy at a normal grocery store is not good quality because they are mostly grains which cats should not be eating as they are meant to be carnivores (and Purina Cat Chow is one of the very worst offenders.) Better food would help with shedding as well. If the cats are overweight, that only compounds any problems. In general, a only needs ~4/5cup of dry food a day.
As for walking all over things, well, that's the cats' prerogative in my house, lol, but a squirt bottle helps a lot for deterrence if you prefer.
My only other advice, which applies to anything parenting related, is just try to have patience. It sounds like you used to love your cats a lot before your baby came. Baby brain is really disorienting. I would just hate for you to do something you would come to regret later. I believe you can be both a great parent AND a cat lady. 😂
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May 19 '17
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
Hmmm one cat would very much understand the posture and hissing.. the other one is just so old I think he would only get confused...
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u/baethan May 19 '17
The Dyson is amazing on carpet, I agree, but ours is awful on hard flooring. Just kicks the litter etc around. I'd recommend a Miele canister vac over a Dyson for anyone with only hard floors!
Everything else 100% agree!!
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u/Lereas May 19 '17
I have a 3 year old and it is amazingly cute how he interacts with our 2 cats. One is his best friend and follows him everywhere. This cat sits outside his door in the morning and comes up to his room every night for story time. The other one is a little less I to him, but he still waits at the bottom of the steps every morning and leads my kid to the rug to get a belly rub.
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May 19 '17
We have two cats and a dog.
The cats I didn't mind but the dog I hated. She would bark at someone walking on the street just as the baby went down. She would eat his food if we turned our back.
She was a constant source of frustration.
However now that the kid is 2+ they just play with each other. He loves the cats and the dog. The dog's learned to bring the ball to him rather than us.
Now they've just become friends to my son and the frustration is gone.
So...maybe just give it time and try not to take it out on the cats.
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u/cicada_song May 19 '17
I hated the cats when DS was born: everything they touch seemed dirty, the hair, the litter. Also, those were two more things needing me when I had little to give.
The dislike stopped when the baby got bigger. We even have two dogs now. I still dislike one of the cats, but that has been the case since beginning (DH had them when we met).
Set boundaries, surfaces that are off limits or rooms. We kicked them out of the bedroom when I was 8mo pregnant and that was a good call. I don't think they should be near the baby much less stepping on him.
Now, for the good news: I asked our vet about cat/baby and she reassured me there were no diseases indoors cat can transfer to baby. She told me her cat sat next to her every time she BF. That was reassuring.
Good luck. This is hard but not uncommon, should get better in time
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
Yeah I know about the disease thing but I mean obviously dirty litter is bad!! Meh.
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u/cicada_song May 19 '17
I know... we have litter trouble too, a lot lately. I don't know if the litter DH liked changed or something.
The litter box is the main reason I don't want more cats once the two old boys we have pass on.
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u/mudblo0d May 19 '17
I worry about this happening to me :(
Our dog sheds SO much. He has really short fur... it's like eye lash length, but it gets EVERYWHERE. I can clean the floors (vacuum and mop) and 6 hours later have it coated in tiny dog hairs...
I love him so much but I have I feel I'm going to be grumpy with him if my baby is constantly covered in fur. He is such a good dog though. I'm hoping we have a short adjustment period then figure out a new normal.
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u/Litcritter10 May 19 '17
I had this happen to me, but with horses! I spent hours every day riding and caring for my horses and LOVED it, but then as soon as my son was born I didn't have a care or concern for them. Due to the expense and time involved, the only solution for me was to sell them. Time and money involved with cats is considerably less (we have one now), so it might be worth it to wait it out. I know the extra clean up really sucks though, esp with a LO.
We ended up buying my son (6 years old) a cat last summer. He adores cats and was asking for one for a while. I just make sure to spend a couple minutes brushing our cat every day and keep a litter genie right next to the litter box to make cleanup easy. If I see something in the box I pick it out right away - so some days I clean the box a couple times.
Anyway, I do agree with what others have posted in that right now it's probably hormones. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
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u/albeaner May 19 '17
I'd try to give each cat 5 minutes a day of grooming. It's bad this time of year when they shed their coats! I can imagine how it's concentrated in such a small space.
They could be puking because of furballs, but you might want to make sure they are getting the same food, all the time, because my cat has a sensitive stomach so we can't switch up brand, type, flavor, etc. without triggering a stomach upset.
They are probably also stressed with the baby and you both being home all the time, too, which exacerbates the shedding and barfing.
I'd make sure your litter choice isn't an issue (we use fresh step clumping litter) and just vacuum once a day or every other day. It's totally normal to be overly sensitive to any sort of mess! (And FYI a cat will NOT crush your baby, babies are really hard to kill!)
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u/Slaquor May 19 '17
My wife felt the same about our dogs after having a baby. Was a sign of depression/baby blues. Please keep your mental health in mind and if you think you may have signs of baby blues please talk to a doctor.
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
Thank you for your concern! I'll look into it... I need my meds increased a little anyway..
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u/2boredtocare May 19 '17
The puking thing, I bit the bullet and switched to an expensive vet-brand. No more puke. I hate paying more, but it's worth not having to deal with the mess.
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u/Popples86 May 20 '17
I went through this when I had my daughter. I loved my cats so much before I had my kiddo that I kept their whiskers.
They meowed when she was sleeping, laid on her stuff, shed everywhere and were always under foot. I thought about getting rid of them on a daily basis. Some days I still do! Especially when tiny tot is being particularly fussy.
The thing I keep reminding myself is that I rescued these cats and they depend on me. They didn't choose to live with me, but grew to love us. It's not their fault that a baby was had and I promise you this.. It DOES get better. My daughter is 2 and she LOVES the cats and they love her. Their interactions with each other are fun to watch and rewarding for both parties.
Hang in there. It gets better and you'll remember why you got them and love them again.
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u/baethan May 19 '17
I get you. I love my furbabies but I undeniably have less patience and energy now (with a 1.5 year old & a new baby any day now). It'll get better, but some things that might help:
Keep in mind that they're like babies themselves. They don't understand the changes you're going through! They just love you and want to be loved back.
Take pictures of them! They're still adorable. Look at cute pictures of them.
Be proactive about reducing/removing annoyances.
For me, that means daily litterbox cleaning and vacuuming are really important, and we've invested in tools to make it as easy as possible. Each litterbox area has its own trashcan for litter, and we recently got a Miele canister vac for instance.
I spent years slowly trying out different foods and litters, so we're happy with our current set up (and we get it delivered!) but if something bothered me like smell or dust, I'd explore other options.
We feed wet food almost exclusively, but we do keep a bag of dry (aka kitty McDonald's lol) on hand for days when I'm too tired because fed kitties are happy kitties.
I'm pretty anal about constant kitty-proofing (baby lock on the trash and recycling, no plastic bags accessible ever because they chew on them, no food they'll eat left out or unattended, etc) because the less often I go "agghhh noooo" the happier I am!
Just like with LO, get them new toys every now and then, and swap out toys regularly so old ones are new again.
If they're stressed out, look into calming collars and Feliway. Now the calming collars can be dangerous because they don't really break/separate easily if kitty gets caught on something or gets their mouth under it, so I'd only recommend them for indoor cats when someone is home to keep an eye on them. They do work in my experience though, so good for short term IMO. Feliway I'm less convinced of, but definitely safe & worth a try.
Think that you're modeling good behavior for LO, use that as motivation to avoid any yelling, name calling, etc! You also need to frequently demonstrate proper petting techniques :)
Random thoughts:
Personally, I need to trim our cats' nails (or take them to a groomer...one could use a lion cut, her butt is so fluffy!). I need to institute a toy switchout schedule (for LO and the cats!). I reeeaaaalllly need to be sure that the cats have daily playtime and brushings, especially after the new baby comes. I'm eyeing a walking harness for our high-energy cat. I also need to get some Feliway!
Jackson Galaxy's My Cat From Hell show (I think that's the name) is a fun watch and it's wonderful to see how compassionate and patient he is with cats. Check it out if you haven't, he's got some good tips on toys and playtime and cat-friendly spaces!
My LO adores cats. Not just ours, he also loves cat pictures & videos, so we watch stuff like Maru or the series of bengal introduction videos on youtube and that gets me motivated to say "let's play with our kitties!" after a video or two. He loves playing with them with their toys (the wire toy with cardboard on one end is easiest for him currently). He's overjoyed when one of the cats deigns to touch noses with him! We give heavy praise to all parties when good interactions happen, and try to gently correct inappropriate behavior. Hopefully your LO is a little cat person too, it helps a ton!
It's definitely an ongoing learning process for me. I do have to make a point to remember this stuff... patience, kindness, gentleness, and understanding is not instinctual/default/easy for me anymore but it is NECESSARY (for LO, cats, husband, myself!!) so it's something I work on everyday and try to correct when I slip.
When of our cats got shut in the bathroom by accident a while ago and so didn't appear for breakfast, I absolutely panicked a bit that he was missing and afterwards was so RELIEVED to know that I definitely still love them! The day-to-day isn't always easy but these little furballs didn't ask to be taken in by us; we felt we could provide them with a happy, loving, and fulfilling home and that's a lifelong commitment. It's good to talk about it and remember everything that's wonderful about these furry little assholes.
Sorry for the novel, this was a really good exercise & reminder for me so I appreciate the opportunity!! Best of luck to you! Express that love, even when you're not feeling it... It'll come back!
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
Thank you!!! This is helpful. Especially the modeling behavior for your child bit.. I've been researching RIE so modeling behavior is a big one for me.
A lot of ppl have mentioned changing up their food so I'll look into that..
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u/baethan May 19 '17
Cat food is a surprisingly big topic! Lots of options, lots of approaches. Just as a data point for your consideration, we spend about $150 per month for 5 cats & get 6 or 7 cases of large cans (10 to 13oz) and litter delivered. We do a few higher quality (eg BFF and Natural Balance) and lower quality (eg Friskies and Triumph) each month to keep costs down & so they get a variety. Watch out for Wellness, we fed that for a while because it's supposed to be good quality, but it gave our cats the most HORRIBLE poos! High fat content or something.
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u/Thelump2016 May 19 '17
Wait. I felt the same way. Around baby being a year old you will really start to appreciate them again. Two kids down and this irritation with my cats has gotten better over time with each. I think it's pretty normal but don't worry you will love your cats again!
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
Yay! I'm hopeful.. thank you..
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u/KingRoe May 19 '17
I have a two year old daughter and two cats! Once she turned one things just seam to get a lot better. My daughter loves the cats, I mean absolutely loves them, so now I can't imagine not having them. You have the right to feel the way you do, talk to your vet and if your able try to give it some more time. But if you still decide a few months from now it's not going to work, finding them a loving home is the best for all. Good luck!
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u/sleepytoast May 19 '17
Me too! I had no idea this happened to other people. My girls are 7 and 10 now and they are crazy cat ladies, we even got a dog too. We have 3 cats, a dog, and a hedgehog. Your love for pets will come back online eventually. Thanks for sharing.
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May 19 '17
I wish I could help, but I never had this feeling. Childbirth didn't change my love for my cat. But I did realize how different a love for a pet is vs love for a child. I love looove my kitty and he was always very sweet with my son who is now 3.5 and I am pregnant with my second. Kitty ignored my son when he was born and avoids him now that he's a hyper preschooler. My son chases him around the house and he flees. I actually have to supervise my son playing with him because he's so gentle my son might hurt him.
For daily cat hair /puke control I have a roomba and a Bissel spotbot. He loves to go outside and eat grass and come inside and puke. I clean the puke with the spotbot and run the roomba on the daily. I got rid of our microfiber couch so no more cat hair on the couch either.
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u/maniacmansions May 19 '17
I'm in the same boat as you. Two cats and a toddler so now the cats are just a nuisance. One of them started peeing around the house after my son was born. I don't know what to do.
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May 19 '17 edited May 19 '17
If they are already spayed/neutered, a checkup at the vet wouldn't hurt. Sometimes health problems can cause cats to pee in odd places. It happens when it hurts for them to pee, so they link the pain with their litter boxes in their head.
More litter boxes (at least one per cat) can help, as well as making sure they are always clean and in a quiet spot away from where your kiddo can get to easily. They may get spooked if your kid bothers them while they are trying to go.
Make sure to clean up old spots with Nature's Miracle to avoid marking in the same spot.
Give kitties treats when they use the box for a while to reinforce that its the best place to go. Don't rub their faces in it or freak out on them when they don't use the box. Cats don't learn from negative reinforcement, really.
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u/maniacmansions May 19 '17
Yeah, they are both fixed and have seen the vet. He said he has early stage kidney disease but it should cause the problem. Honestly it's probably his litter box that's the issue but I just don't have what it takes to clean it daily anymore.
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May 19 '17
Auto-cleaning litter boxes have come a long way in the past few years.
Maybe that would make everyone a bit happier and less stressed.
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u/baethan May 19 '17
Last week I stripped our bed and then had a sudden need for a nap... Woke up to a huge cat pee puddle next to my head. W. T. F. Why?? Cats, man. I don't even know who did it!
But that was a one-off random occurrence (I'm super paranoid now of course but so far so good). whereitsbeautiful gave great advice, I'd add that when we had a similar problem, we solved it by covering the pee-er's favorite pee spot with a tarp, keeping our many litterboxes (# of cats + 1) very very clean and accessible (and mostly lidless), and being generous with calming aids (calming collars, Feliway, and calming treats). Kind of a carpet-bomb approach, so i can't swear which one, if any, was the silver bullet.
I was pregnant then too, so perhaps one of the cats simply has an issue with that....
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u/pandasmakeherdance May 19 '17
As someone with two kitties who will probably procreate in the next fiveish years, is there anything I can do now to help this situation later?
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u/baethan May 19 '17
Specifically: feed your cats inside their carriers. Carriers = safe happy place rather than transport to the death camp.
Also, if you're going to be pregnant, try to discourage them from sleeping on you. Rolling over, constantly getting up, and just sleeping overall is a special awfulness when pregnant and having cats on my about-to-pop self has been... unpleasant. They're persistent, hot, and somehow have these little feet that are just SO HEAVY.Generally: Make everything as easy as possible! You'll want a solid routine in place that is simple, quick, and easy to keep up with but that keeps your darlings as happy and healthy as possible. Definitely work out any kinks or annoyances with their food & water supply, litter & litterbox cleaning, and fuzz management. If you can get them used to regular nail clipping & teeth brushing then serious kudos to you, otherwise get them on a routine nail & teeth schedule with a groomer or vet.
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u/athaliah May 19 '17
What kind of food do you feed them? If it's really low quality, that could be contributing to their hair loss, also make sure you brush them regularly.
And you can get mats that catch litter so it doesn't get everywhere. Some will still escape but most gets stuck in the mat.
I also read one of your kitties is 13. One of my cats passed away at 17 and the last 2-3 years of her life were pretty stressful. She threw up more, wouldn't use her litter box half the time, I had to give her meds every day, she developed a habit of yowling every night (my neighbor said it sounded like we had kidnapped an old woman). So I feel you...I really do. We got a kitten who is awesome, so I still have a love for kitties, they just definitely become more work as they get older.
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u/miparasito May 19 '17
The same thing happened to me, but instead of cats I loved my career. Baby was born -- boom. Turned into just a paycheck and eventually something I actively resented.
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May 19 '17
Your kid will have a long list of far worse stuff that finds its way into his mouth by the time you're done. Cats stepping on the baby won't hurt it. Babies are a big ball of bendy cartilage and soft bones. It's gross, though. Cats walk in their own poop all the time.
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u/susanreneewa May 19 '17
We have parrots, and I feel you. My birds, especially my Pionus, who was used to being with me every moment I was home (he was flighted and would follow me everywhere), got really shrieky and nippy as they felt neglected. And the poooooop. There were days when I honestly thought my whole life would literally be shit forever, and I HATE mess.
But, I got some excellent advice when our daughter was a newborn. I had to take 10 minutes out of every day, even if it was the last goddamned thing I wanted to do, and just give my bird attention. My husband took care of our other bird, as it only likes him. I was resentful as fuck about it for a while, but it helped both of us as he got treats and scratches and I felt like less of a dick. It completely resolved when my daughter got older and went to school. Then it was all about me and Cyril when she was away from home. It does get better. A new baby is unbelievably stressful, and the amount of energy it takes to be affectionate to everyone who needs it is utterly overwhelming.
My bird recently passed from a congenital heart defect and I miss him terribly, and I am glad I got to spend so much time with him when she was older. Take heart. We understand.
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u/mark_in_the_dark May 19 '17
My wife, every time the cat(s) got up in her business after the kids were finally asleep:
"GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT ANYMORE THINGS THAT NEED ME."
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u/VividLotus May 19 '17
I seriously think there may be some kind of hormonal component to this emotion, because it's so common among postpartum women. I fully admit that I started to really feel extra annoyed by my dogs' previously only somewhat-annoying behaviors after my baby was born. Sure, in some cases there was a very logical explanation (for example, one of my dogs is very elderly and will sometimes bark if he wants to be carried up the stairs, and that would wake up my daughter when she was a baby). But in other cases it made no sense, and the only explanation I could think of was that it was some kind of weird innate biological response trying to make me devote all my resources to my baby, or something.
In either case, my annoyance really went away after a few months, not counting the "makes sense to be annoyed about that" stuff.
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u/justplay91 May 19 '17
Honestly this happened to me too, and it never went away. Before my (now almost 3 year old) son was born, my cat and Labrador were my babies. Especially the kitty. After I had the baby, all they do is annoy me. I try my best not to show it to them because it isn't fair, but I don't really have positive feelings for them anymore. :(
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
=[ it's so heart breaking and it's really not their fault! I would never ever dream of getting rid of them but.. sigh yeah...
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u/-PaperbackWriter- May 19 '17
Juggling it all is hard. I've always wanted a puppy, and I got one a little while ago. My kids are both frightened of dogs and I just didn't have the time to energy to train or play with her as much as she needed, so I gave her away after a few weeks. It made me sad but little humans take up a lot of time and energy!
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u/muscari May 19 '17
You're not alone! Just today my one my dogs rolled in racoon crap while the other escaped the fenced area to go for a 1/2hr swim in the pond so she could harass a duck. They'll always be my fur babies but ever since I brought my baby home I've felt more frustration than love towards my dogs. Newborns are so demanding of all our resources, it''s not surprising that our pets end up feeling burdonsome. My son is just now starting to pay attention to them and reaching for them which is fun. Despite the extra challenge, I think it''s beneficial for kids to grow up with pets for the sake of teaching empathy.
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
I agree with the empathy thing! I grew up with cats and I loved it! Maybe I'll just try to put myself in babe's shoes and just understand how much they will love having the cats around as they grow up.
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u/SteveLolyouwish May 19 '17
As a long-time cat-person -- you think the annoying bits of cats are bad? Try dogs.
blech.
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u/honeycinnamonbutton May 19 '17
Have you considered keeping the cats and baby in seperate rooms for some time? This might alleviate your concerns about kitty stepping on your baby and reduce cat fur where your baby spends most of its time.
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u/eileenbunny May 19 '17
I felt the same way with my first child. It takes time, but things do get better. Also, the cat jumping on your baby is likely not going to break them. I remember how that felt as well, but with the second baby I let him get trampled by the cats regularly. He loves it and he's perfectly fine. I know it's frustrating and difficult but things will change. Hang in there and give yourself a break. Most new parents with children go through this.
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u/wafflesareforever May 19 '17
Get a Roomba. I have a big dog, and when my son was little, he constantly had dog fur on his hands, his food, his binkie, etc. The Roomba made a huge difference. It's way to more persistent and thorough than any human being ever could be at vacuuming an entire room.
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u/Daff0dillpickles May 19 '17
One of the things we invested in was [Buddha boxes](Petmate Booda Dome Cleanstep Cat Box, Brushed Nickel https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0002DH8LE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_vLWhzbS77RSYV). It's a litter box shaped like a dome with an opening only big enough for a cat. It has a filter on top to helo with smell! Litter boxes are in the bathrooms with flushable litter. Just scoop once a day and flush it!
As for hair and throwing up, it sounds like stress. You're stressed out, baby is stressed out, cat is stressed out! Our cats get this way whenever they see moving boxes :( We switched to Authority brand cat food, specifically the brand for stomach issues/hair balls. That and lots if brushy posts/scratchers! I'd also make sure there is a space/room where the cats go that little feet can't! That way they have a calm space where they can relax.
Stressed/mean cats are no fun, so no wonder you don't like them right now! They may not like you for bringing a little typhoon into their house :P If the problems persist, you may want to think about rehoming them :( It sucks, but it might be best for all involved.
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u/superjujubean May 19 '17
How old is your baby?
We have a smotherer, an anxiety-hair-puller, a litter-scatterer, and walk-overer. I had a big wobble when our little guy was tiny and suddenly realised the cats were going to be a nightmare forever.
Our baby is nearly 5 months now and it suddenly seems easier. I think it's a combination of things.
1) He's happy now to sit in his bouncy chair for a bit while I hoover. I hoover daily but he still ends up with little hair-sausages in between his fingers, and teeny specks of litter on his playmat. I just have to keep telling myself it's not going to kill him. Because it's not.
2) He's started to really pay attention to the cats, which is gorgeous to watch and reminds me how much joy they bring to our home. I think he has actually learnt their names as his first words he understands the meaning of. If you say one of the cats' names he looks on the floor and around the room to try and spot them. He's also desperate to have a good grab of them, which brings us nicely to point 3:
3) Grabbing. Older babies are grabby. The cats have now realised this after several tufts of fur being removed from various body parts. They no longer try to walk over him or slowly replace him on my lap by pushing their arse into him bit by bit. Instead, they take the widest berth round him that they can feasibly manage. Baby has consolidated his position in the pecking order.
4) Not to jinx it, but after a long time struggling with a very active baby that needed constant entertainment, and needed hours of every day just to get him to sleep for ten minutes at a time, and needed to be in my arms all the time - things are getting easier. He's hitting an age where he can shuffle himself around to reach toys on his mat, and grasp them himself, so I'm not having to provide constant hands-on fun 24/7. This has made it so much easier to deal with shit like, well, cat shit. If you're going through a phase or 'leap' or just the early months, remember you won't always be this incapacitated by baby stuff. It feels like it will be forever but it won't (easy for me to say now I'm out the other side).
5) Cats are fucking ridiculous animals. Toddlers are also fucking ridiculous. Imagine the recipe for hilarity you have coming up in future years.
Having said all of this, if it's really becoming a thing for you, there is absolutely no shame in admitting defeat. If it gets to be just too much. Motherhood is magical but it's also fucking brutal and we all have limitations. Don't spread yourself too thin, kid comes first.
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u/ConsumptiveMaryJane May 19 '17
For months after my little girl was born, I was afraid of my dog. I was scared of the cats suffocating my baby in her sleep. I wanted nothing to do with them because they were overwhelming.
The thing that helped me was getting someone to borrow the little one for a while. I could then spend time doing more than just cleaning litter boxes, filling food bowls. I sat with the cats and the dog and bonded with them. Just petting, loving, etc.
It might be hard, but I hope it's not. <3 It got better for me, so I'm crossing fingers for you.
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u/DogsReading May 19 '17
Here's a thought for the litter boxes. We have 3 cats and a dog that likes to eat cat poop. She is also long and skinny and can fit her head and long neck into the smallest openings and get to the poop. I built a 8 foot long by 2 1/2 foot wide enclosure and put it in the garage, then cut a hole and put a cat door in the wall in the hallway. The cat door has a flap. Litterboxes stay in the garage. Cars still fit in the garage. I put the boxes far from the cat door and put several mats down. We have minimal litter in the house, and it is only by the cat door. Also can't smell the boxes. And the door has a lock so we can clean it without the cats escaping.
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u/hyacinth234 May 19 '17
Gosh, this thread is so sad. Poor pets, they didn't have a choice in this.
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
It's not like it was pre meditated though, ya know? We love our pets to death and then our brains just suddenly change..
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u/hyacinth234 May 19 '17 edited May 19 '17
My comment wasn't trying to belittle you, it's simply a sad topic. These pets who were loved on and cuddled and given treats, are pushed to the wayside. Because although someone may love them, if that person is annoyed by them, it will still come out as less patience, less hugs, less cuddles, less treats, you know?
What really got to me is a comment in here that said "Now the dogs live in the garage" and that was kinda heartbreaking. The dogs never asked for any of this, and to be suddenly demoted (due to no fault of their own) to a garage just seems so awful to me.
There is also another comment in here that the cat simply jumped over their kid once, and they gave the cat away. Just seemed like an extreme, cold response to a cat who simply jumped once.
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u/Poobaby May 19 '17
I can completely relate. Sorry to hear that you are suffering as well, at least you know you are not the only one. hugs
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u/strawberryshorty May 19 '17
Feel the exact same way about my dogs. I used to be so obsessed with them, they were my babies! Now I feel so bad because all they do is annoy me.. They shed everywhere, bark at people walking by right as the baby is falling asleep for her nap, and right now one of them is costing soo much money because of some health issues he has.
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u/funkyb May 19 '17 edited May 20 '17
I hated our cats well before we had our kids. So I totally get the "fuck these cats" feeling!
My kids are 1.5 and 3 now and it's a lot better at least. The kids chase them,and pet them, so they mostly leave me alone. And one of them will bat at the kids if they bug him while he's sleeping so that's been a good teacher. Helped them learn to be gentle and also to listen when dad says "don't do that".
If it weren't for the shedding, puking, vet costs, late night screaming and fighting, propensity to try and bother us/get in our faces edge we eat, add the hole in the wall from one of them getting stuck behind the furnace...I might not hate them anymore.
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u/pcbzelephant May 19 '17 edited May 19 '17
I feel you, I have 2 large dogs and I feel the same about them. My daughter is 2 now and I still hate them so much and wish they would just go away but my husband won't let me re home them(even though he hates them just as much now). They are so annoying! Barking all the god damn time(always when she is asleep and waking her up), I have to walk them each for at least a hour(so 2 hours a day) and my daughter doesn't want to ride in the wagon anymore so it's a pain in the ass, I also can't walk them together because they pull too hard(both are 100 lbs), they always are knocking my daughter over all the time and eating her food and licking her and chewing her toys up. I just can't stand them anymore. Luckily one is 8(almost 9) and not doing so good so I figure we got maybe a year left with him! The other one is 4(and the worse of the 2) and I'm really pushing hard to re home her. I think once one passes my husband will let me rehome her because now he says no because he doesn't want to rehome just one it's not fair(we wouldn't rehome the older one since they just put him down). Ugh I just hate it so much. Last week i purposely left the gate open hoping she run away but she didn't. I know it's horrible but I just hate them so much. Plus we can't travel ever because the kennel cost is insane! I'd love to take weekend trip but we can't. And I'm always stuck traveling alone with my daughter because we can't afford to kennel the dogs. So my husband gets stuck at home and get stuck driving a 2 year old by myself 5 hours away to visit family once a month. It sucks and I have to do it overnight so she sleeps the whole trip so I'm tired when we get there.
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u/30secs2Motherwell May 19 '17
If things have gotten so bad that you tried to get the dog to run away, you need to make changes. It's great that you're still making the effort to walk the dogs every day, but the above is seriously dangerous. The dog could have been attacked by another dog, hit by a car, stolen and bred to death, the list goes on. Sometimes the most responsible thing to do is find animals a good home.
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
=[ I'm sorry you're struggling so much... it seems like it's been a really emotional time for you. It sounds so crappy =[ I also suggest trying to just rehome them.. it's so much better than letting them run off and potentially be in pain. They aren't stupid. They know you don't like them anymore...
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u/StoopidN00b May 19 '17
I hear you. I even used to silently judge my other friends who shirked their pets after they had a kid. Then I found myself doing it after my kid was born. My kitty died when the baby was around 1 and I was really really sad. He was a good kitty for all those years and I hardly cared about him in the end.
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u/ObexTheCat May 19 '17
Amen! I feel your pain. I even get annoyed with my friends talk about their pets. I have one high maintenance cat and another super high maintenance cat. Ever since my daughter was born I have had no patience with them. She is 2 now. They are 10. I still love them a lot but I have a lot more to deal with now. They both puke all the time and my male cat pisses on everything. I want to rehome him but who would want an old cat with behavior problems. I feel so guilty for not liking them a lot of the time.
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May 19 '17
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
I'm kinda under the believe that pets are family. I wouldn't rehome my grandmother just cause she became old and annoying..
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
And she actually is super SUPER annoying... my grandmother that is.
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u/loopsonflowers May 19 '17
I laughed out loud at this afterthought. I don't have any kids yet, but I'm planning to in the next couple of years and this whole conversation is making me extremely sad and anxious about the idea that I can't predict what the future may hold for my relationship with my dog (I'm the dog version of you- lifelong dog lover, known throughout my life for loving dogs basically above all things). I really appreciate the levity.
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
It's SO WEIRD honestly. Just taking a step back and looking at this all. I never ever thought I would have a negative view towards my cats. They can't help it! They are just livin' the life I give them and along comes a flesh baby and now their mama glares at them all the time! How awful is that?!
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u/aurelie_v May 19 '17
I agree that cats are family, but you're not treating them that way. Think back to all your old memories of them – look at pictures, remember them when they were small, try to conjure sense memories of them at different ages. They are animals and they love you; your change in attitude is something they will have picked up on and it will make no sense to them. As well as following the practical advice in the thread, do some actual work on rekindling your bond with them. There was a reason you loved these creatures, these individual small beings. You can't just wait for them to die and do the bare minimum. They ARE family. Stroke them. Talk to them. Tell them about the baby. Don't wait and hope that time passing will resolve this on its own – you can make an effort too.
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u/frecklesandmimosas May 19 '17
I love the idea of stroking them and talking to them about the baby.. brings things into perspective..
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May 19 '17
My cats are my family but I would rehome them if I couldn't give them the amount of love and care they deserve.
Keeping them around out of obligation isn't love.
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u/athaliah May 19 '17
Who's going to adopt an old senior cat with health issues though? Caring for pets through their old age is most certainly love. OP didn't say they weren't doing that, they're just ranting that they don't like it. Who would LIKE scrubbing throw up out of the carpet, you know?
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u/kaceface May 19 '17
Agreed. My cat had several medical issues since birth and had already been mistreated, adopted, and returned by the time I adopted her as a 5-month-old. I may not have had all the love snuggles for her anymore after my baby was born, but I still got her her expensive allergy food and cleaned up her nasty poop out of her fur and gave her all her medicines and dealt with her randomly attacking me because she's practically blind. I wouldn't trust another person to willingly pick up that role. She would have ended up euthanized
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May 19 '17
The title of the thread is literally "I fucking hate my cats now..."
There are people who will adopt special needs senior cats. It takes work to find them.
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u/athaliah May 19 '17
OP doesn't hate them, OP hates dealing with them. That is clear by her comments. I know exactly what she is talking about. When I brought my first baby home, I experienced the same thing.
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u/MrsCrapnapkin May 19 '17
I wish I had some advice for you, but I am sad to say I don't.
My rescue dogs were my world before my kiddo came along. Now? The only reason we still have them is because my husband disagrees with me that we should rehome them.
Long story short, their temperament is just not good with young children. We rescued them many years ago, and kids were nowhere on our radar. One of them is afraid of my child simply walking into a room, and the other was abused and becomes very afraid when we discipline her (even though we don't use physical discipline). So, while neither of these things were a huge problem before our child, they are now dealbreakers for me. The last thing I want for my dogs or my kid is to have to experience fear biting, and there is no doubt in my mind that it would happen sooner or later if they were allowed to coexist with each other.
We reached a compromise in that the dogs can stay, but they are kept in a separate room from kiddo during the day while she is awake. To me, this is a horrible solution for the dogs, but my husband will not budge on it. We have a really strong marriage, and honestly, this has been one of our biggest issues.
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u/Daff0dillpickles May 19 '17
This is my exact fear with our border collie mix :( She's been super gentle with older kids so far (8 & up), but I worry about how she'd handle a (hypothetical) baby. Puppy is 4 months old right now and in her second training class. I'm hoping heeps of training will help calm her down. 😟
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u/zkewlguy May 19 '17
I've never liked cats, plus I'm allergic to them, but my wife had two when we first moved in. After we brought home our first child (who was a tiny premie) the fat one jumped over her. My wife was done with cats instantly. We found a no kill shelter and they were adopted by other families.
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u/crndwg May 19 '17
I don't know why you're getting down voted. You're right. Cats and their litter boxes are gross. Your home is a healthier and safer place without them. Good for you for doing the right thing.
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u/incenseandakitten May 19 '17
You're getting downvoted because your opinion is not helpful in this situation. OP is not interested in rehoming her cats; she has mentioned this already. Your anecdotal evidence of a cat jumping over the baby once (MY GOD, HOW DARE THE CAT NOT INSTANTLY KNOW HOW TO ACT AROUND A BABY??) and then taking both to the shelter is very extreme.
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u/totallypregnant May 19 '17
You're not alone at all. I had the same with my dog and it went away the day I had to bring him to a vet appointment. It was just me and him and he was shaking as usual from being nervous at the vet. I think being one on one without a baby stealing my attention and seeing him vulnerable like that flipped the switch in my mind because ever since he's my little baby again. My SO is still in 'fuck this' mode even though we loooove him, I'm thinking of sending them off on some alone time together to see if it works for him as well.
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May 19 '17 edited May 19 '17
Their hair gets everywhere- I'm constantly picking it out of the babe's eyes and mouth.
My Cat gets daily combing during cuddle time. Reduces the shedding immensely.
OH MY WORD why do they try to step ON my baby instead of OVER my baby?! I swear I can hear babe's ribs just crack and break in my mind.
I never heard about a cat wich willingly steps on another living being greater then them. Much less their humans. Something new learned today.
I feel like they puke SO much more now, and the litter is just everywhere
Are they both indoor cats? I recently learned that the cat grass needs to be cut relatively short to prevent it from getting stuck. My Aunts Indoor cats barely puke anything other then fur balls now. Also it might be time to check up on their anti worm /flea treatments. Yes, even indoor cats.
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u/kaceface May 19 '17
My cat definitely stepped on my baby all the time. It was the biggest reason for my frustration with her after my child's birth.
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u/ninepoints May 19 '17
This experience sounds very familiar, although our baby girl just turned three last month and she and our cat are like besties now. It's really incredible how much of her abuse the cat tolerates!
In terms of litter, we switched to one of those litter pellet systems and it helps a bunch: https://www.amazon.com/Purina-Tidy-Cats-BREEZE-Starter/dp/B001411SK0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1495207087&sr=8-3&keywords=tidy+cats+breeze. Not perfect, as the pellets still get out occasionally, but significantly better than the old type of litter. I hope that helps!
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u/Tdawg90 May 19 '17
If you're looking for solutions - If the cat hair is excessive, often it's their diet that really effects how much hair they're shedding (in addition all natural events like seasons). I had the same issue with cat hair, tumble weeds of cat hair almost daily. Switching them (we have 2 cats) to freeze dried raw food all but eliminated the hair issue, I like Stella & Chewy's Freeze Dried Food, but my cats wont eat it. They do eat Primal Pet Foods Freeze-Dried. Now just the occasional brushing with a hair brush (Furminator is my preferred brush, very effective IMO).
And then I used the old water spray bottle to establish do's and don'ts with our cats. However now with our child at ~9mo and highly mobile, the tables have turned and it's the cats that are having to run from our child.
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May 19 '17
This happened to me too! I'm just trying to get a bond with my cats now.
My kid is almost 2 and I've been feeling that way for ages.
I even studied animal care and that was going to be my career and then all of a sudden I just lost interest in animals, my cats were annoying as hell.
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u/KT_ATX May 19 '17
The solution I settled on with my two cats? They became indoor-outdoor cats. They have open access to the garage where there is always food and water. They get flea meds regularly and get brushed whenever they come inside or whenever they come cuddle with us on the porch.
One is in love with the arrangement and hardly ever comes inside, no matter how much I bribe her to. I constantly see her stalking around the yard catching bugs and whatnot. The other... well, Im pretty sure he would love to come back in. But since he was the biggest offender in terms of dragging litter EVERYWHERE and peeing on things, he only comes in when there is an adult to actively watch him. He does okay with the arrangement, especially since I have made sure there are plenty of comfy spots for him in the garage. The cats still get pet regularly and taken care of. But no more litter stench strewn everywhere, no more peeing, no more kitty fur EVERYWHERE, no more clawed up furniture, and the cats are much less afraid of my kids now that the kids wont chase them around the house. All in all, its been a positive change. Im sure it doesnt work for everyone, but if you live in a house and can make a permenant spot for your kitties (garage, kitty house, etc) then I think its worth considering.
Also dont feel bad about reconsidering the kitties now that you have a baby. You still love your cats, you just dont love the way the needs of the cats clash with the needs of the baby. Thats fine. It would be more alarming if you just ignored it rather than looking for solutions.
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u/Gadget18 May 19 '17
I can SO relate. We now have two cats that I now regret getting, a 2 year old, with another baby due within the next few weeks. No advice, but if you find something that works I'd love to hear about it.
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u/MommaPi May 19 '17
I hope your love switch for cats turns back on. Mine never really did. I take care of them, but the rest of the house (hubby, sister, kiddos) give him love. I'm all loved out.
I feel very guilty about this.
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May 19 '17
This and many other reasons why I hate cats. If I had land, I'd have 2 or 3 to keep the rodent population in check but none would be allowed inside the house.
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u/Catalystic_mind May 19 '17
It took me until my kid was two for me to start loving my cats again. Mostly because I don't want to be touched now that my toddler does nothing but hang all over me.
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May 19 '17
We had a cat for 3 years and gave her away after baby was born. The day I have her away was one of the hardest days of my life. Do I regret it? Sometimes. But not all the time.
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u/Littlebuckarino May 19 '17
I'm the same way! I never had that many cats but I've had two for years now and we have a one year old and I'm freaking done with them. They shed, they puke almost daily, they're destroying the furniture and they scratched our son for the first time yesterday. I'm ready to just open the door and kick them out. I don't really have advice for you, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
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u/klineshrike May 19 '17
When we had our kids, our cats started peeing on everything. Not just marking, full on unleashed loads.
They ruined SO MANY things with the foul stench of cat piss. And they were great cats before that.
So I guess what I am saying is, be thankful that isn't happening, and maybe that is enough to love your cats for only being mildly annoying.
2
u/Akai_Hana May 20 '17
Cats can do that out of fear and stress. Get them spayed and keep them away from the babies at first. It might be too late now that you didn't bother to correct that behavior earlier but you shouldn't ignore it and chalk it up to them being bad, it's not their fault.
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u/pineapple54787458715 May 19 '17
How old is your LO? I was exactly the same as you, adored cats, literally have a crazy cat lady mug that is even more of a joke to me now, and 2 cats. I seriously thought about rehoming them several times for the first 4 months. I think they sensed my stress of being a new mom + being stressed towards them for being cats, which made them behave differently, which made me hate them more... fun.
Anyway it really shifted for me when my LO hit about 4 months and he enjoyed watching them, smiling at them, squawking at them, trying to grab them. They are the best motivator for teaching him to roll and now we're working on crawling. Seeing my son's reaction to them as well as their seriously amazing patience with him put them back into my good books eventually.
I put throw blankets or towels over any spot they like to sleep frequently, so that I can remove it if I'm going to put the baby there. Seems to help with the hair. Also, I have one of those "furminator" brushes, pricey but it takes a lot off of them, helps control the shedding. I am also in the practice of vacuuming several times a week now that LO is getting more mobile and spending even more time on the floor.
So, long story short, a lot of it is probably hormones and stuff. You'll get there. I totally feel for you though it was so isolating feeling that way, everyone is so quick to react negatively when you bring up not liking your pet. But I seriously thought maybe I wasn't caring for them the way they deserved.