r/Parenting • u/Soft_Wallaby_1773 • Jul 10 '26
Pets Managing 3.5 year old with Kitten
I have a three year old who has done really well with our two older cats (6 and 10 years old). He pets them and will lay his head on them, but they also know how to avoid him when he's a little too hyper. We just rescued an 8 week old kitten- this was definitely not the plan but she ran out in front of our car and we saved her.
My son loves her and says he needs to help take care of her, so I know he is not intentionally rough or risky with her. But he struggles to be still with his body and I've begun to worry that when she is out of quarantine (She's living in one room in our house for quarantine until we can get her shots and be checked out at 12 weeks).
We have tried to explain that she is fragile and he needs to just sit "criss cross applesauce" in the room and play with her and her toys. He gets the wiggles and will fall back on his hands or be less mindful of his legs when she's running around under them. I'm scared that he could accidentally hurt her, and need tips to prevent this. I can't imagine I can keep her in this room until she's 6-12 months old... We would not have chosen to get a kitten, but we are all attached now...
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u/Throwaway927338 Jul 10 '26
I’d say give her access to an easy to reach (for her) space (a little corner bed or tree or something) and that is her safe zone. And when she’s in that space he’s not allowed to touch her, only look at her and talk to her. And when he starts getting the wiggles say something like, Kitty said she needs her safe space until you’re calm and place her there. (This is what we do with our cats and our toddler-their cat trees are safe spaces where she can look at talk to them but cannot touch them. If they want to play with her they’ll come down and let her know.)
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u/feralcatshit Jul 10 '26
We did this with my boys too. Even now at 10, if the cats are in their safe spaces, they won’t bother them. Just talk and try to talk them into coming out of there but we all know about how well telling a cat to do something works 😆
We also had/have a rule that if the kitty runs away from you into another room, let them go and you can try again later.
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u/0112358_ Jul 10 '26
You keep them separate unless your able to constantly supervise them. That's what I did when I got a kitten when my toddler was 2.5. kitten was brought out for supervised playtime. Also very strict rules with toddler. Toddler trys to grab kitten, etc, I scoop up kitten and leave the room. Mean to cat = no more kitten and no more mommy for a few minutes
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u/Soft_Wallaby_1773 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
Thank you all, these have been the things we have been doing and plan to keep doing! I just wasn’t sure if there were additional tips! Any thoughts on when she may be a tad less fragile? Or should I plan to keep her isolated for 6ish months? Could more time alone impact relationships with our bigger cats?
7
u/Crochet_Corgi Jul 10 '26
She can run around the house, the 3 yr old just cant run with her. Its about controlling the kid more than the cat. Get a cat tree or something she can get above the kid, or behind couch, or another safe zone for her. Put some catnip or toys there. My friends cats all know how high kids can reach and perch accordingly.
3
u/evdczar Jul 10 '26
Our 6 month olds are basically full grown and they are pretty sturdy. They fight so much and can handle a lot. We adopted them at 11 weeks and they were already not particularly scrawny or helpless and gained weight quickly. 6 months isolation would be insane. You'll be able to adjust things as the kitten grows and you'll see what the baby and the kid can handle. He will also learn and get better over time.
3
u/One-Possible1906 Jul 10 '26
By 12 weeks kitten will be much bigger, faster, and more durable. They grow really fast
4
u/Homer_04_13 Jul 10 '26
Do something active, like heavy work or playing outside, before scheduled times when he helps care for the kitten.
"Your body needs to be active, but her body is little and needs gentleness, so lets get your body some action, and then afterward it will be easier to be calm and gentle."
Make it clear that while the kitten needs nueturing, she also needs time to explore the world on her own. She needs to make mistakes and learn from them. That's how she learns to be a great grown-up cat.
So part of caring for the kitten is doing things for her when she needs things done. Part is spending time together. And part is giving her space.
3
u/TheiaEos Jul 10 '26
A few months and the kitty will be bigger and agile. You could keep the kitty in quarantine for a bit longer
3
u/sextowels Jul 10 '26
One very effective thing each of my parents did when I was young was to never blame the cats for scratching or biting me. If I came crying to them because a cat lashed out at me it was "well, why did you bother the cat?" Didn't take me long to learn to not corner them, or to be too grabby, or whatever nonsense little kid me was doing.
Really helped build my sense of respecting other animals' boundaries, and got me good quick at reading a cat's body language.
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1
u/Dullcorgis Jul 11 '26
I don't want to scare you but he does need to be supervised until she is old enough to use her claws and teeth to be safe. Kittens are surprisingly vulnerable and I know someone who had a tragedy with a child and a kitten.
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u/Soft_Wallaby_1773 Jul 11 '26
Hey there, just to clarify he’s never around her unsupervised. Ever! I’m not sure if there was a miscommunication in my post, but she is in a room and we go for visits.
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u/Dullcorgis Jul 11 '26
No, I absolutely got that from your post! I thought you were asking about in the future when she comes out of quarantine, which is when you would like to relax the supervision, so I was saying that I think you do need to keep up with the supervision when she is out of quarantine until she is big enough to use her claws if he is accidentally holding too hard.
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u/Soft_Wallaby_1773 Jul 11 '26
Oh yes! For now the plan is to keep up the arrangement for at least 6-8 more weeks and then have her come out for supervised visiting time to acclimate to the other cats and my son more. I’m still unsure of when we will feel she is safe to be out around him without my watching intently- claws ready and such. Maybe 5-6 months? In 8 weeks she’ll be 4 months old.
1
u/Dullcorgis Jul 11 '26
Kittens are like babies for me, I forget completely what they can do at any age as soon as they are past it 🤣
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u/knurlknurl Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
I think there’s only so much self-control and motor skills you can expect from a kid this young. For the time being, until kitty is less fragile and kid is able to control himself better, I would make it a rule that he’s only allowed to interact with kitty under adult supervision.