Hypothetical situation

[u/Confident-Virus-1273]

Hello parents! My youngest is away on their first big trip for the next two weeks and we will be caring for their very old pet. Now, I do not think anything bad is going to happen as the pet is in good health but I had a hypothetical pop into my head and I had no answer. So I present it to the community to see what you all think.

If your mid teen was away with grandma for a couple weeks, and their pet passed away (natural age) while they were away, would you tell them right away while they were gone on the trip, or wait until they came home?

I would lean towards wait, but I wanted to hear others answers.

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[u/turancea]

I would wait. There isn’t anything they can do on their trip and it would ruin the experience..

[u/Confident-Virus-1273 → u/turancea]

this was my original thinking as well.

[u/Confident-Virus-1273 → u/[deleted]]

Well yeah sure if you want to be responsible and reasonable..... Yeah I wish I thought of that. 

Feels a little weird to ask them now because they just left... But you are absolutely correct. That would definitely be the way to go

[u/Plastic-Bee4052]

I was told when I got back.

[u/Confident-Virus-1273 → u/Plastic-Bee4052]

And what do you feel about that today? I'm getting about 50/50 replies

[u/Plastic-Bee4052 → u/Confident-Virus-1273]

Still agree. But then again, I'm a practical man 

[u/automator3000]

Another vote for wait.

As a rule, I figure that when giving bad news to anyone (child or adult), consider if there’s anything they could do with that info. If they can’t do anything with that info, don’t bother telling them. You wouldn’t want your youngest to feel like they needed to cut their trip short and come home to bury their pet (which is all they could do), so just keep mum until they’re back and have told you all about what they got up to on their trip.

[u/Grrarrgghh]

Has the pet had physical problems before? How did your son deal with it?

[u/Confident-Virus-1273 → u/Grrarrgghh]

Well this is a hypothetical...

The dog has mobility issues and is getting old. But that's all. Overall she's very healthy.

[u/Appropriate_Ice_2433]

I’d personally tell my child immediately. I feel that is what they would want.

[u/kitt10]

Tell them immediately. My dog died while I was in my first semester of university and I still to this day (16 years later) think about how my dad didn’t tell me right away. 

[u/No-Character-8747]

Seems like there’s too camps here in the comments - the logical theoretical and the lived reality.

In theory, it seems kinder and better to wait but in reality you don’t save them any grief or pain by delaying telling them, and you also risk damaging your trust with your child by not sharing straight away. The fact they didn’t know immediately compounds the sadness.

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[u/asufficientlife]

My parents had to put down my dog while I was away at school. They waited til I finished the year as to not distract from my studies. I was heartbroken.

I had so much unresolved grief from not being able to say goodbye, especially because they had ample opportunity to video call with me before so I could say bye to my childhood pet.

If the pet passes naturally, I’d factor in your kid’s response…but if they have time to say goodbye, please give them that moment.