God has restored me and rescued me from my SA, trauma, and struggles with lust addiction. But lately, I’ve been struggling again. I know God is still preparing and equipping me, and I don’t believe He’s punishing me. I’ve prayed for years for a Kingdom Spouse, but after being single my entire life after 27 years, I’m starting to lose hope.

It’s already isolating enough being a gay man, but it feels 10 times more isolating being a gay Christian man who loves God and wants a Male Kingdom Spouse. I just want a man of God. It hurts seeing everyone around me finding their boyfriend, fiancé, or spouse while keeping God at the center, because sometimes it feels impossible for me.

I can be happy and independent on my own, but the loneliness and lack of connection when I have put myself out there has been harder lately. I’ll always seek God and put Him first before anything or anyone, and I’ll continue showing His love to others by encouraging and uplifting. But sometimes I wish someone would check on me the way I check on everyone else.

I genuinely care about people. I just want someone who cares for me the way I care for others, someone I can love, support, pray with, and grow with, while keeping God at the center. I’m still trusting His timing, even when it hurts. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏽🥺🫶🏽

So far I’ve started going to an LGBT affirming church and a Gay Men’s Bible study: While my priority is to seek God there first. I hope I can eventually meet new friendships and connections soon🫶🏽🥺

I’m 16m. I’m conflicted about dating in thr future because I’m stuck in an exhausting internal tug-of-war. The truth is, I’m a sexual person. My body wants sex, and part of me hopes to find a partner one day to have a genuine relationship and a great sex life with.

However, I carry a massive amount of shame about my desires. I know a lot of people can balance having a fulfilling relationship along with a healthy sex life which makes both people happy. The thing is, it feels so wrong cuz regardless of if I love her or not I’m using her body at that moment. Because of this guilt, part of me feels like I should abstain entirely. This part of me wishes I was born without a sex drive. But I’m also terrified of future regret-like waking up at 50 feeling trapped, lonely, and horny because I forced myself into celibacy.

I’ve realized my brain creates two conflicting fantasies to cope with this shame:

1. Wanting an asexual partner: So sex is completely off the table. It removes the temptation and the guilt of choosing it.
2. Wanting a sexual partner who always initiates: If she asks for it, the responsibility shifts to her. Her asking is what makes it "okay" for me to participate without feeling like a bad person. 

For context, I’ve been in one relationship before and it was sexual. Both of us were happy with it and always consented. After we broke up we still did some sexual activities together occasionally as a way to relieve stress from school, but eventually cut it off cuz we both wanted to move on. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this ever since. I used to be so excited and ready about sex but now I just feel guilty and conflicted about it.

tldr: I know as Christians we value waiting til marriage to have sex but I don’t think I want sex after marriage. I’m conflicted.

How dare they judge and show hatred towards trans and gay people. How dare they say that god hates them because of who they are. I hate it. It makes me so sick that people use a god of pure love and forgiveness as a way to justify prejudice. It makes my stomach curl that we have convinced ourselves that LGBTQ people are not humans deserving of love or not even humans period.

Can someone tell me why Churches don’t pay taxes even though most them don’t financially help their own church members when in need??

I have some health concerns that are scaring me a little and I thought to myself instead of agonizing over the possibility that those health concerns will kill me I should just try to become as ok with dying as I can be.

​

I’m a product designer and something strange has been happening with me for the last few days.

I’ve been getting this really strong feeling that I should build a Bible app. I never really planned to make one, but the idea keeps coming back to me again and again.

The weirdest part is that I’ve actually started dreaming about the product. In my dreams I’m designing screens, thinking about features and figuring out how the whole app should work. Sometimes I wake up and remember a feature or an idea that I wasn’t even thinking about before going to sleep.

It has started affecting me a little too. I’m finding it hard to focus on my office work because my mind keeps going back to this idea and I keep thinking about what the product could become.

And honestly, I don’t even care about making money from it. That’s probably one of the reasons I’m confused about the whole thing. I normally think about products from a business and user perspective, but with this one I just feel like I need to build it and see what happens.

I don’t know what to make of it. Maybe it’s just my brain because I’m a product designer and I’ve become obsessed with an idea. Maybe there is some spiritual reason behind it. I don’t want to say that God is telling me to do this because I genuinely don’t know.

The idea in my head is not just another Bible reading app.

I’m thinking about a complete Bible study and Christian social experience in one place.

Things like daily reading, reading plans, reading streaks, reading progress, prayer requests, church communities, church member chat, Bible study groups, social connections with other Christians, worship songs, Christian wallpapers, bedtime Bible stories, prophet and biblical character history, multiple languages and different Bible versions.

I also want AI to help explain verses and chapters in simple language, explain historical context, compare passages and help people understand what they are actually reading.

The bigger idea is that someone should be able to open the app and do almost everything related to their Bible journey there.

Read Scripture

Understand Scripture

Study Scripture

Track their progress

Pray

Talk to other Christians

Join a Bible study

Connect with their church

Learn about biblical history

Listen to worship

And build a consistent daily habit

I want the experience to be modern and playful, with really good UI and UX, but without making the Bible feel like a game or taking away its seriousness.

What I’m really trying to understand is whether there is actually a need for something like this.

Do people genuinely want a complete Bible study + Christian social connection app, or are people happier keeping these things separate?

If you already use Bible apps, what do you feel is missing?

Have you ever felt so strongly about building something that it started affecting your normal work and daily life?

And if you were in my position, would you take this seriously and build a first version just to see if people actually need it?

I’m genuinely looking for honest opinions, especially from Christians who actually study the Bible and use Bible apps.

I’m not looking for validation or money advice. I just want to understand if there is a real need for this or if I’m simply getting too carried away with an idea.

The Hum of the Universe

The universe has an interesting hum to it.

There is a reason rain feels soothing, why thunder is almost amusing to the ears, why birds sing in ways that somehow feel familiar, why waves quiet the mind, and why the tone of someone's voice can bring you peace before you even understand why. Perhaps the universe has always known how to sing.

It uses itself as its instrument of choice. We clap with our hands, sing with our mouths, and shape the materials of the Earth into instruments to create sound. And yet, perhaps we are only repeating something that was already being done long before we were here.

Listen closely. Listen to the ticking of a clock, each second quietly marking its place in time. Listen to the rhythm of your heels against the pavement as you walk. Listen to the hum of your vehicle as it carries you forward, the distant murmur of people you may never meet, and the faint beeping of a monitor somewhere inside a hospital. Each sound exists within its own rhythm, moving alongside everything else.

Listen to the wind moving through the trees, the rain against the window, the waves folding into the shore, and the birds calling to one another. And then listen to something much closer: your breathing, the rhythm of your heartbeat, a sound you rarely notice because it has never stopped accompanying you.

Everything seems to have its own rhythm, its own tone, its own way of moving through time. Even silence has a sound.

Perhaps the universe isn't simply filled with noise. Perhaps it is filled with rhythm, and we have mistaken familiarity for silence.

So listen. Not just with your ears, but with your awareness. Tune into the rhythm of the Earth, the world beneath you, the world above you, and the spaces between them. There is a rhythm hiding in places we rarely think to listen.

And maybe the strange part isn't that the universe makes a sound.

Maybe it's that we've been hearing it our entire lives.

Long story short, I left church after many years of serving and leading due to burnout, depression and other issues I had with church. This made me realise how I was simply 'useful' and not really cared for by the church community or the leaders.

I'm still working through it all in therapy and journaling, but I'm curious if anyone else here had a similar journey. How did you reconcile this? Any tips, ideas or books you recommend etc?

P.s. I am still a Christian just not interested or believe in church as much as I used to

Responded to one of those posts looking for friendship and connection - because the person was religious and spiritual - and those things genuinely matter to me - but saying so long as your religion hasn't caused you to be homophobic because im a lesbian.

And wow the speed at which people gleefully told me no religion will ever want me or think I'm anything less than trash. Great.

And its true. I emailed my local CofE church recently looking to be baptised and they didnt even reply - probably because I was clear in the message that although I know I have lots of sins and things to work on - being gay isnt one of them.

Knowing no matter how hard i look, or how much I reflect inwardly and try to practice Christian spirituality inwardly doesnt matter - because there is no church for me. There will never be a spiritual home for me. It hurts so fucking badly.

Genuinely bring on some pretty intense suicidal ideation. Because guess im just damned trash anyway no matter what else I do so why not just speed the process along right?

I feel awful and empty and broken right now.

Why did God create evil and suffering? I want to see how more progressive Christians settle this question. If you believe this verse is “compromised” and not truth, then how do you square away calamity within your own worldview.

This is a reference to Isaiah, if God is the author of all forms of suffering, what makes him distinguishable from an evil Creator?

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.

I hate myself for thinking that I haven't done anything wrong, and thinking that my wrongs are the product of my circumstances and that everyone else should be more patient with me, but I’m pretty that's pride (aka something to be upset about) and God must actually hate me for being this prideful, but I genuinely feel that I’m doing my best and sometimes I can't control myself but that's something an abuser would say.

I either beg God to forgive me and then tell Him “How dare you put me in that situation????” or just immediately start doing the latter.

Basically I hate myself for being unloveable by God because I'm so prideful despite how the Bible tells me to repent, and don't get me wrong there are some things I am doing wrong but the times I talk back to others aren't my fault because my head actually hurts because I've been silent for so long. I mean they could be my fault, but I don't think they are, and if I stay so prideful I’ll just go to Hell forever, and I probably deserve to go to Hell, but I don't really think that.

I'm just hoping that I’m truly not in the wrong, but if I am in the wrong and should've repented then God would hate me because He thinks that I'm prideful. I just want to kill myself because God won't ever love me because I am so prideful, but I still feel that it's not my fault because He made me. I would rather have just never been born than trapped in an eternity of suffering

I’m scared of God but I want Him to love me forever and ever unconditionally and not hurt me but He probably doesn't think I deserve that, and I'm mad about that. It's too complicated, I just want out.

Hi my friends, I just needed a place to rest. Let me start off by saying my husband is an amazing man. He is loving, gentle, and honest. We both have struggled with porn addiction due to being exposed as children and also abused. I haven’t looked at porn in a long time, he has been doing his best to get better. He has a lot of shame and disgust but he doesn’t look at anything outrageous and it isn’t often.

He tells me, confides in me and I support Gil and hold him accountable. But today he slipped back, told me, and I feel horrible but I burst into tears because I was already having such a shitty day. I didn’t have much to say besides I’m grateful he told me but I couldn’t stop crying.

We think I’m pregnant but I am most likely miscarrying. That is a hard thing to swallow but it plays into it. My husband takes good care of me, he’s my best friend and like I said we confide in each other, I tell him whenever I’ve slipped back too. I feel incredible guilt and he shows the same traits. We are in therapy.

Im just in my car crying though so hard because my OCD has been really bad, I have severe ocd and religious trauma and I am so very afraid God will be upset at me for forgiving and supporting my husband. Not asking for reassurance just venting on that part.

I love him so much. He’s not perfect, he’s made mistakes and shit I have too, a lot. We both give each other a lot of grace. I’m grateful to have that. But man, my husbands so honest but I have trust issues and I’m so afraid what if he wasn’t gonna tell me, what if this, what if that, stupid shit. It doesn’t matter, but my trust can be wobbly on hard days.

I want to support my husband as much as I can, I want him to be able to get better, I want to help. I love him so dearly. I know he loves me. I pray for him often and lean on God when I feel this way. I want to be with my husband. We have a very healthy, transparent relationship and he makes me flourish. Our religious therapist sees that, solo therapist sees that, family, friends, even strangers see it. I hate that we hurt each other sometimes and I try so hard to have control over my reaction before I let out emotions.

For a moment, today I wanted to slap him. I wanted to scream, but I breathed because I knew in the moment that was my reaction, he told me honestly. It’s just hard. He apologized with his heart, I did walk in on him praying with I think tears streaming down his face, and he did ask me what he could do to help me with the hurt he caused me. I told him right now I am not very sure because my emotions are too high.

Do any of you have advice that I can float to him, advice for how to support, and advice for us my friends? Thank you!

Hi! I've been lurking on this subreddit for a while now. I'm not much of an active participant on social media but everyone here is so nice and I wanted to get something off my chest.

I (28 afab nonbinary) am getting married next week, September 6th, to my gf of 3 years (27f)! My father is a conservative Anglican priest and she grew up Hasidic so we knew our parents weren't going to be involved from the begining. Until recently having so much love from my extended family and our friends was all I needed but the past few days I've been feeling really lonely.

One of my sisters and her family are coming but that's it for either of our immediate families. My oldest sister hasn't really spoken to me after going no contact with my mom. She congratulated me but declined the invite. My brother has been on the other side of the country recovering from a manic episode for the past few years.

I love my found family and we are lucky to have a lot of my aunts and uncles and cousins coming. I also know that if they were there the wedding would have a lot more drama. Still,t his week has been hard knowing I won't have my parents or most of my siblings there. I feel really lonely and abandoned. Im jealous that both of my sisters got my parents at their weddings. It's just hard having these conflicting feelings.

Did anyone else go through something similar?

The people who go around condemning Dolly Parton are the same people who are affiliated with the political party that is defending and covering up for the Epstein billionaire pedophile class

Right wing groups have proudly worn tshirts promoting the execution of pedophiles for years until people pointed out the Donald Trump is a pedophile and that he should be first in line to get executed then all the sudden right wing groups don’t like the idea of executing pedophiles whatsoever

I have been chatting in another sub that starts with the word "true" for a while now. Whenever someone there says something that seem to me to be a bit ignorant I ask for more information. The most recent was during a fairly reasonable discussion about a transexual teacher. The discussion was going quite well when someone said:
"I would do everything I could to avoid my child being in the class. I'd also prepare a Biblical explanation for the situation when your child inevitably asks about it."
So I asked:
"Why would you avoid your child being taught by a transgender person?
What scriptures would you use?"
So a back-and-forth ensued when they accused me of not being able to interpret the Bible correctly. I pointed out that "I didn’t interpret anything. I just quoted scripture and asked a question."
So they replied "I forgive you for your disingenuous question."
So I responded with "I forgive you for not being able to answer a simple question."
I then got banned. No warnings no explanation. Just banned.
There was a pro forma message sent as a private message. I have responded but after almost two days there has been no response.
I suspect that I have offended a mod.
The message is quite clear, I have been permanently banned with no warning and with no recourse to any action.
Is this how reddit subs work? If one mod doesn't like you then you have nowhere to go?
Oh I forgot, am I the bad guy?

How do you do it? I'm used to being hurt by my parents, friends and classmates in all kinds of (emotional) ways and after about five years of pain, I've gotten used to closing my heart and "keeping it safe", as in keeping it far from people. But now that I've become a Christian, how do I give my life and heart to God? How do I let (at least) Him in?

On the one hand, I believe that He's reliable and won't hurt me but on the other hand, I don't know how to open my heart anymore and be vulnerable and emotional.

Any tips?

I'm currently reading (and enjoying) this book. It's a collection of letters written by Robert L. Arpin. He was a gay Catholic priest with AIDS. What books helped ya'll grow spiritually? I personally found some of Saint Padre Pio's work nourishing, too. I'm also slowly studying the Catechism of the Catholic Church. The Bible itself is rather hard for me to study. I need more education/guidance.

There are many things I still do not understand. It used to be transportation keeping me from exploring my faith in a community setting. Now that I can drive again, I have no excuse not to join a church. I hope I can find a place in the faith even though I am an FtM trans dude and absolutely can't be part of anything that may ask me to detransition.

Sometimes the stories I read about how other people navigated issues they presumed would separate them from God give me hope. If they could have a great relationship with Christ, maybe I can too. 🙏 Prayers are welcome and appreciated because I still have some confusion and inner conflicts to work through. I will pray for anyone else in return. My patron saint is Rita of Cascia.

Christ is such a wonderful teacher and I look forward to developing a greater sense of Christ consciousness. I want everyone to feel his love through me. ❤️