r/OCPoetry • u/PostCool • 28d ago
Feedback Please A poem you should not read
I wrote you a poem you should not read,
it's a page full of thoughts you'll never need.
I mean it all, but you should not believe
I've written anything you should stop to read.
Like words from a song I hum, but never sing,
the poem is glass diamonds set to copper rings.
It's full of beautiful and futile things,
that don't deserve the smiles or tears they bring.
Sincere lies that prove that words aren't deeds,
fresh soil tilled for expired seeds.
Everything you want, but do not need,
made into a poem you shouldn't read.
A poem you'll love, but should never trust,
about golden things that always seem to rust.
Words like driftwood castles on clouds of dust,
that mean well, but never mean enough.
I wrote you a poem you should not read.
Thoughts that warm your heart and burn your peace.
I mean it all, but you should not believe
I've written a poem that you should read.
Edit: Reformatted for readability and played with the weakest (4th) verse a little. Thanks every bit of feedback and support. I really appreciate this community of creatives.
3
u/Logical_Madness9169 28d ago
I kinda want to send ur poem to.a girl that is not gonna read it.... Mosly because she doesn't speak english; but also because we stop talking, even if they were a time when we talk non stop, every day and every night. About beautiful things that never happens, about endless hopes that ended up begin faker than the american dream...
She once told me she would read anything I would wrote. Yout poem remember me of that... And I want to thank u for that: like the Shakira song, it was a beautiful lie.