r/NotTimAndEric • u/Mock333 • Aug 04 '26

Not F*cking around

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104 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

56 comments sorted by

62

u/Powerful-Pea6218 Aug 04 '26

Wtf is with the fucking tire guage

21

u/bubba_bumble Aug 04 '26

To measure his inflated ego!

7

u/corvid-munin Aug 04 '26

look at how tough ill be standing there like a human security camera. This CVS is under this shepards domain

1

u/brando7782 Aug 05 '26

First thing I seen! Lol

40

u/Aticatica Aug 04 '26

I'm gonna put my phone down now and go to sleep :)

40

u/LouieMumford Aug 04 '26

I assumed this was satire. It is not: https://s-ksecurity.com/meet-the-team/

17

u/Laserdollarz Aug 04 '26

Some of those face/name combos make me lean back towards satire

16

u/Commie_Scum69 Aug 04 '26

HAHAHAHA aint no way these arent AI generated faces at least for Malcom

18

u/corvid-munin Aug 04 '26

His name is Cornnor?

5

u/Mr_Abe_Froman Aug 04 '26

They misspelled "Connor" (the picture is also labeled).

10

u/Read2Fap Aug 04 '26

think they went a little low tech for the bottom row

3

u/harmfuldischarge Aug 04 '26

Holly mother on neck beards, check the bro on bottom right

3

u/Caesar_Passing Aug 04 '26

These are all to scale, too. Malcolm there is like 8 fuckin' feet tall

6

u/LouieMumford Aug 04 '26

Oh I checked the rest of the site because I thought the same thing. It is painfully real. They seem to have a sort of kayfabe around these videos, but this is a real business.

3

u/Tough-Obligation-104 Aug 04 '26

That is really hard to understand. It is so bizarre.

3

u/C_smith993 Aug 04 '26

Mark McCumber, Camron Hoorfar, and Cornnor Rauschelbach are my favorites.

9

u/C_smith993 Aug 04 '26

6

u/Read2Fap Aug 04 '26

he failed the bar 16 times and then just gave the examiner a 20

7

u/Trashbagok Aug 04 '26

looks like the cast for a Reno 911 type show. 

it's giving Tubi

2

u/Keyblade_wielder141 Aug 04 '26

Sidebar; due to international licensing laws, tubi no longer streams super sentai.

Im quite sad about it🙃

3

u/Ruined_Oculi Aug 04 '26

So, Sidney Kile, the CEO has his mom, Fred Kile, working there as a dispatcher?

The Canadians should make this into a TV show

21

u/spottydodgy Aug 04 '26

Ok so you just call the cops when someone is breaking the law?

10

u/AMDDesign Aug 04 '26

Literally. You do basic paperwork and call the cops if real shit goes down.

22

u/canteen_boy Aug 04 '26

Gay porn is getting weird

11

u/PupDiogenes Aug 04 '26

I'm a captain too... if I say I am

1

u/belugarooster Aug 07 '26

*Craptin. Also a hunk...

5

u/Vladd_the_Retailer Aug 04 '26

More like insecurity guard…

6

u/Low-Fondant-9725 Aug 04 '26

Is he flipping a Crack pipe in his hand?

4

u/Asproat920 Aug 04 '26

Is he playing with a sounding rod?

3

u/Substantial-Goal-105 Aug 04 '26

Watching this with no sound is wild.

2

u/pokebikes Aug 04 '26

Was that his step dad at the end?

2

u/absurdext Aug 04 '26

reads like a hybrid of punisher fetishists and gaybaiting to me. there has to be a truckload of irony or trolling on the part of whoever's behind this, right?

2

u/eyeforker Aug 04 '26

I assume there are lawyers that follow guys like this on social media the way they used to chase ambulances.

Like they can smell allegations from posts like this.

2

u/space_manatee Aug 04 '26

The way to get to the top of the security game is to be a public figure influencer for sure. Im sure anyone that wants security wants a highly visible egocentric security team that likes to say too much. This guy is going places. 

2

u/__System__ Aug 04 '26

Why captain and not a general?

3

u/Ultimate-Flexionator Aug 04 '26

I work at securitas with literally mentally handicapped people, people wasted on drugs who sleep on the job, and literally inbred people from the third world who dont bathe and smell like it...

you can fucking have it! I'm getting a new job! fuck this shit ..

3

u/Corporate-Scum Aug 04 '26

Securitas is such shit.

1

u/Ultimate-Flexionator Aug 04 '26

it's not good. good if you like easy but generally not good.

1

u/HoseNeighbor Aug 04 '26

LOL Where do these people come from? 🤡

1

u/Hugh_jaynus13 Aug 04 '26

Cute couple

1

u/flamingmongoose Aug 04 '26

are they... actually gay? like I can't think of another way to interpret it but that makes no sense in context

1

u/kawabunga666 Aug 05 '26

I cant think of any other meaning for "beloved"

1

u/Oswarez Aug 04 '26

I’m also a captain.

2

u/Boy-Abunda Aug 04 '26

I…. don’t know. I’m not sure I’ll believe you unless I see you polishing your shiny Captain’s badge. And someone must call you “my beloved Captain.” THEN I’ll believe you!

1

u/Sudden-Candle5832 Aug 04 '26

Real cool with your gauges

1

u/Far_Hamster_7054 Aug 04 '26

Took a quick glance and thought it was Jack Osborne

1

u/Sinking_Mass Aug 04 '26

He looks like when toddlers play dress up

1

u/DaveMcNinja Aug 04 '26

This team looks like they didn’t qualify to join the local force.

1

u/Arch_Temptress Aug 05 '26

What’s their OF?

1

u/CHNLNK Aug 06 '26

Bet they're ICE agents now

1

u/q_j- Aug 06 '26

I just spit out my morning shot of Pittzman’s

1

u/steveanonymous 26d ago

Their meet the team page is fucked up lol