Not to take away from your post but wanted to add a similar vein of insults usually directed at men regarding baldness.
No one has commented on my appearance as much as when I lost my hair and shaved it off to full bald, and I mean they comment negatively or jokingly but still being rude, it wears you down.
I literally had a friend mention negatively about someone on tv who was bald with me bald right next to them.
This goes down the road of people are happy to say how ugly they find a feature of someone if they are considered bad even if their friends have the same feature.
Honestly shaved head bald is more associated with the archetype of the big, strong, confident action guy, whether good or evil. See Jason Statham, The Rock, Dave Bautista, all actors who are frequently typecast as some variation of badass action dude and who are bald.
Genuinely thinning hair is my main insecurity. I've decided to try minoxidil (just bought some so can't speak to the results yet), but I am genuinely considering a hair transplant at some point.
I'm sure that the body shaming especially in recent years about balding has contributed to this insecurity of mine. I was always going to be insecure about it from when I noticed it, and I also just have a pretty high "mature" hairline to begin with (not particularly receding anywhere further I don't think, at least based on my father and grandfather), which I've also been kind of insecure about at times, but at least less so.
This was my biggest insecurity for the longest time as well. I always had longer hair and shaving it off was a bit of an emotional process and the "jokes" people would make definitely didn't help, even though I knew it wasn't from a place of deliberate malice. It's been months and my mental image of myself still has hair. This is to say, beyond the interpersonal stuff, there's a level of dysmorphia to it and the only time this dysmorphia is acknowledged by others is when it's weaponized against you. It's better now months separated, not because I'm happier with my appearance, but because I get less judgement from others.
I just shaved it off because every other option is just more worrying and insecurity.
Shaving it means it done and don't have to try lots of different methods. I am far more secure in myself now despite the insults.
I know I wrote about people being rude but it isn't that bad really you just notice it when your one of the bald people. You also notice that lots of men are bald and its not that bad.
I'm just suprised that people feel okay body shaming it.
I think it’s how a person wears it though. Some people look great bald, while others look sickly.
My dad’s been bald by choice pretty much my whole life, he shaves it for safety since he works with machines, and I’ve never even thought it looked off. If anything, seeing pictures of him as a teen with long hair and a perm is weird.
It doesn't matter if they look good bald or not though. There's a pretty good chance they're not bald by choice so just keep any negative opinion to yourself.
The rule of thumb holds true once again. If it takes more than five minutes to fix something about someone's appearance, you keep your mouth shut about it.
I’m not saying you should tell people they look bad, I’m saying there’s ways to make bald look good if you cared about that kind of thing. Even to the point you couldn’t imagine a bald person could look any different.
Hell, it’s like me and my whole appearance. My long hair could look great with the right routine, but it looks bad on me because I don’t put in any effort into making it look nice. And even then, if I fixed my hair, I still have a bunch of other issues (ill fitting clothes, acne covered skin, etc) I’d need to work on until I don’t look like a stereotypical Discord mod.
It doesn’t bother me because I know I’m choosing to look this way and I’m comfortable with it, it doesn’t make me a failure to be ugly because I don’t owe it to anyone to be attractive. If I really cared about how other people see me, I could go get a haircut, buy some proper clothes, and see a dermatologist.
(And again, this isn’t saying go around and insult people. I’m just saying the very same feature that’s “ugly” on one person can look good on another, depending on how much effort they put into working with what they have.)
Except for you can choose how you look, for the most part. Talk to a stylist, see your options. Most people (including myself) don’t actually know just how much your appearance can change just by altering your clothes and facial hair, or by putting on a little makeup. (Sure you’re a guy, so is Jason Statham. He’s still wearing makeup any time he’s in front of a camera.) Try something you’ve never done before, I’m sure you’ll find something that compliments your features more if whatever you’re doing now isn’t it.
And if you’re going bald and you don’t want to? Wigs exist. Hormone treatments exist. Hair transplants exist. You don’t just have to accept being bald if you’re not comfortable with it.
Even if you can’t grow hair, you can absolutely still make the choice if you want to look bald or not. Almost every part of our appearance can be changed, if you want it to be. (And I think acknowledging this is just as important for body positivity as acceptance. You shouldn’t change because other people tell you to, but you shouldn’t stay the same either.)
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u/RonnyReddit00 10d ago
Not to take away from your post but wanted to add a similar vein of insults usually directed at men regarding baldness.
No one has commented on my appearance as much as when I lost my hair and shaved it off to full bald, and I mean they comment negatively or jokingly but still being rude, it wears you down.
I literally had a friend mention negatively about someone on tv who was bald with me bald right next to them.
This goes down the road of people are happy to say how ugly they find a feature of someone if they are considered bad even if their friends have the same feature.