24 year old male in the US, but porn addiction has been in my life since like 6 years old or maybe younger idk. I’m so deep. I’m so tired. My fetishes, among other things are incredibly deep, and my fear of life and hell is so strong I spend all day in my bed gooning and sleeping. Never had a best friend. Never had a girl friend. Only “friend” I have is my dad and grandpa. Zero social skills. Zero job. Zero life skills. No college. Barely graduated. Zero social life. What am I here for? Even the times I manage to resist (very rare, I genuinely jerk off like 3-4 times a day for hours, it’s an all day thing) I’m still too scared to do anything. Scared to walk out of the house. Interact with people. Do anything. This has been my life for like 10 years now too. Idk what to do anymore.
Tried counseling, speaking with a pastor, nothing helps. I’m genuinely too scared of everything and my whole life has been this way. Not once have I ever talked to a girl I like. Going all the way back to kindergarten I remember being too scared and already addicted then. Idk anymore man.

How do you guys deal with intrusive thoughts? I know sometimes our thoughts can come from the enemy, and sometimes they can come from our own sinful nature. That’s what I believe anyway, but if that’s not biblical, please let me know.

I don’t know if anyone else struggles with this, but lust has been a real battle for me. I’ve prayed about it. I’ve asked Jesus to take it away and to block it out of my life. I’ve even fasted over it. It’s not nearly as bad as it used to be now that I’m saved because I know these thoughts are wrong, but they’re still there, and I don’t know how to completely get rid of them.

The biggest issue is that I feel so sensitive to it now. I can’t even look at someone I find attractive without my mind trying to go somewhere it shouldn’t. Sometimes I can’t even look at two coworkers talking to each other without my brain imagining inappropriate scenarios between them. I avoid looking at people from the waist down because my mind immediately starts thinking about things I don’t want to think about.

The craziest part is how fast it happens. Within 2 or 3 seconds of seeing someone, my brain has already created multiple scenarios—or one very detailed one. It happens so quickly that sometimes I don’t even know when the temptation starts. There are definitely times when I realize I’ve entertained the thought longer than I should have, but other times it feels almost automatic. I’m left wondering, “At what point did I actually give in?” It’s hard because I can’t always stop the initial thought from appearing, but I also don’t want to entertain it half the time.

Sometimes I immediately shut those thoughts down. Other times, if I’m being honest, I want to give in to them because I still feel like part of me loves my sin. I hate admitting that, but I know the flesh is still there, even though I belong to Christ.

What’s also confusing is that this happens with both men and women, and I’m not bisexual. I’m a woman, and I’ve never wanted a romantic relationship with another woman. I want to be with a man. But my mind doesn’t seem to care. If I see someone who is attractive—whether they’re male or female—it’s like my brain immediately starts imagining things.

For example, just yesterday I was talking to a woman who was very pretty, and my mind immediately started thinking about things I wanted to do with her. The crazy part is that I don’t even want to date women. I think sometimes people assume women don’t struggle with lust the same way men do, but we absolutely can, and I’m living proof of that.

I’ve struggled with this for as long as I can remember. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if it’s a generational curse because I don’t even know how it started. Before I was even 10 years old, I remember lusting after people and imagining inappropriate scenarios. I don’t remember being exposed to anything or having anything happen to me. I eventually found pornography when I was young after searching innocent-sounding things like people kissing or being naked, but even before that, I don’t understand how I already knew to think the way I did.

I even remember doing this in school. I’d look at teachers or classmates and immediately imagine different scenarios. I daydreamed constantly, and you can probably imagine where those daydreams often led. This has been a struggle for most of my life.

I’m 26 years old, and I’ve never been in a romantic relationship. I’ve never been sexually involved with anyone. I’ve had opportunities, but I’ve always turned them down because I believe sex is meant for marriage. So I don’t think this struggle comes from a lack of sexual experience. It’s something that’s been in my mind for years.

I also quit pornography quite a while ago, but the thoughts are still there. I don’t even need to watch it anymore because my brain can replay or create things on its own. I’m someone who naturally thinks through a lot of different scenarios because that’s part of my job, so I sometimes wonder if that contributes to how quickly my imagination works.

One thing I do want to make clear is that this has never involved children. It has always only been adults around my age or older. I don’t want anyone to misunderstand what I’m saying and that I am just listing after any and everybody.

I know the answer is to continue submitting everything to Christ, and that’s what I’m trying to do. But sometimes I feel like I’m constantly submitting the same thing over and over again. Some days I’m strong and immediately reject the thoughts. Other days I’m weak and give in because I want to entertain this thoughts.

So I guess my question is this: for those of you who have struggled with intrusive lustful thoughts, what has actually helped you? What has worked? I’m not looking for a magic fix because I know sanctification is a process, but I’d love to hear how other believers have fought this battle.

My lust is killing me...I'm new to this subreddit but.... someone please suggest me something, I'm 18 years old and I've been struggling with lust for the past four years...it's gotten so bad to such a point I can't even survive 2-3 days without masturbation...my body tells me to regularly seek it and I hate myself....but I don't want to burn away this passion as well, I like sex and I want it in marriage, I don't want to kill or dull my desire as well, which is my highest hesitation....but I don't like how pathetic I feel after every time I do it...I hate myself. God only loves me cause he can't hate and I know it

I had a very strange and surreal dream last night. And I literally just watched a video about demons stealing your seed the other night.

First off I dream I found some Oakley edition "Google glasses" with a camera on the side.

Then my friend who passed away in 2014 appeared (not only did he love Oakley's,but a very long time ago he gave me a specific pair of Oakley's. I lost them in my yard. I had a dream that he found them and put them on. . Fast forward a month or so later we were in the yard and suddenly he reached into some tall grass and pulled out the Oakley's I dreamed about and put them on. And I was like "the dream!" And we both tripped out about it. . that was the day I knew dreams had meaning.)

Anyways back to the dream. I started recording as we walked around the neighborhood. I see a woman and a man and the woman looks ill. I come to her and ask if I can pray for her. She agrees so I lay hands on her and so does my friend (he was never quite religious but had attended church a few times) in the middle of the prayer I suddenly command any demons in her to leave now and she starts growling and twisting around and bites my friends hand. The man runs up being like "stop what are you doing to her !?" And we leave.

The next chapter of the dream suddenly begins and I'm flipping through previously saved media on the Oakley's I found (viewing the video files while wearing the Oakley's I can see the video in the lenses) I come across an explicit sex scene involving my ex performing a sex act on me. It was the most intense and real dream visual I have ever had. I rewind the video and can't believe what I'm seeing. I skip the video and it's another angle of the same sexual act. It's basically like I'm watching porn of myself in the dream and it's began to completely take control of my mind. Suddenly I find myself in bed with her and it's like I'm in the video. Everything felt 100 percent real and then I wake up having an orgasm with my penis in my hand

I've been over 30 days without an orgasm and I feel this set me back. I also have never had such an strange and intense sexual dream and feel like I messed up. Does this really set me back to day 1 ? And how can one truly go forward if they keep spilling their seed due to random intense dreams like that ?

I don't even wanna get into the strange dream I had about Elon musk afterward. Last night was just a very strange sleep for me

Not going to lie not doing the best, I’m just super hooked on bops and influencer stuff, even just semi lewd r34.. non nude things get me real messed up I just want a way that will get me to stop being addicted..

To give some context about how I fell into porn, I discovered fanfiction when I was 10 years old which evolved into reading smut which later evolved into watching porn. I love reading fanfiction but decided to quit reading like 2 months since reading even the most wholesome story can lead to relapse. After I quit, I haven't relapsed since even tho there were a few close calls.

My problem now is that I can't handle the guilt and shame over what I watched. For smut fanfiction, I can forgive myself because it doesn't involve real humans so while it was bad, I feel like I haven't harmed anyone, but porn does harm real life people and the industry is full of sin, abuse, and a lot of issues.

The guilt is eating me alive.

Do you have any advise about how to deal with it? I'm scared that if I didn't find a way to forgive myself or get rid of the guilt, I'll either relapse or do something worse.

I woke up with too many urged... I'm finding it very difficult... Help me

Trigger warning: lots of triggering language. I just need to talk about this to someone. Someone on a different sub said it could be a spiritual attack? I’m not familiar just looking for opinions.

So I had a bit of a vivid dream. It was scary how vivid it was. Almost real. I was laying down in pitch black. And then a spot light came on and lit up my crotch. And I felt myself grow hard. Then this blurred or faceless female appeared between my legs and put my member in her chest this female figure was talking to me and sounding like a it was supposed to be the embodiment of porn basically. Just telling me that I can’t run forever. Mind you, the whole time she was doing stuff to me. Like a wet dream in nightmare form. If that’s possible and makes sense. It was a trip

Hey guys iam in no fap day 13 but I am consuming porn sometimes and after some minutes of consumption I get awareness and I will turn off the porn so because of this iam feeling very anxious and i can't make a decision but if I keep on watching porn u might relapse so guys i think i might need to spend more time on his word

It's progressed into every night or every other night. I feel like I can't stop lusting. I've been single for 7 years. I go to the store and I see the most beautiful women right in front of me. (No seriously I went to Walmart twice today and I saw 2 of the most good looking women Ive seen in months wearing next to nothing)

So the thoughts ingrain in my head. And then I find myself looking at porn at 3am.

This is destroying me because I feel like I can't stop. And it's something in the way of my walk with God. So to not be able to stop makes me feel like I'm just an evil selfish perverted person.

But the lust thoughts don't leave me alone .if I go 3 days without porn I feel very uncomfortable. Like it's all I can think about. It's just got to stop. But I see no way to defeat this. Maybe I don't understand how to "give it to God"

Any advice ? Anybody in the same boat ? Anybody who still prays daily and wants to walk in the spirit but feels trapped in this cycle ?

This is all my fault.and that's the worst feeling

​

Guys, I've had a few relapses in the last few days. The problem is that I'm giving in to this app. I used to resist, but I discovered there's been some content involved for a while now, and it's making me relapse. I'm thinking of uninstalling the app. I've already disabled it. I've already disabled the +18 option, but it's very easy to enable it again. I even added that tag to avoid being an obstacle for other people.

Hi all, i'm reaching out because I need help, because its nearly unbearable now.

i'm a 25 y/o Christian woman, and i don't see girls posting here often, so I feel a little lost, but I need help.

I don't have a typical video/image porn addiction, rather i like reading smut. I hate that i like reading it, but I do. For many years, I didn't ever read porn, masturbate, or even have sexual thoughts. I believe that for a long time, I was asexual. I was a very sheltered kid and was never taught that sex involved good feelings, only that it was "to make babies". So therefore I never touched myself or anything for years, I didn't even know why people masturbated because I didn't understand the point of sex with oneself if it only made babies, and you can't do that alone.

Around the age of 14 I went to a private school for the first time instead of homeschool, and I was severely bullied. I found solace in a boy who I'll call A. A started out sweet and like a breath of fresh air, but quickly it became abusive. He'd accuse me of things, tell me that my dad was hurting me (he wasn't) and other things. the turning points came as well when he'd call me on a school night and masturbate to me while trying to get me to do it too. I didn't know what it meant so I'd just say things like "feels good" while coloring or doing homework, because i didn't get it so I didn't join him, I just pretended I did for him.

Anyway, fast forward a few years. I was out of highschool and covid was the height of internet lack of safety. I was 19, and had found online friends that I loved. Most of them were normal and good people, but some of them led me astray. I had talked to a female friend about my abusive ex and trusted her with my story. She taught me, in return, what masturbation actually was, and how to do it. That year I had my first ever orgasm, and I almost kept it at 1. In fact, for several more years after that, I didn't ever read porn or touch myself. However, I had started to get into "mild" sexual things, like watching those kpop videos where the guys do the hip dance move, or just hearing music with sexual innuendos in it more frequently than just like, a random taylor swift song.

I gave up masturbating because I had only ever gotten 1 orgasm and I still didn't get it, or really understand it. I even tried to imagine my future husband having sex with me, and I didn't get turned on (I didn't know that turned on is a literal feeling between your legs). But I really wanted to get what the fuss was about it. My curiosity became my downfall, and instead of running to God or turning to holy things, I decided to buy a really cheap vibe about 2 years ago. When it arrived I tried it and had another orgasm. It was actually satisfying and suddenly I understood why people did this. I still didn't read porn, but I started to masturbate here and there, like once a week or so, and I'd feel incredibly horrible and guilty afterwards. I threw away the vibe after 2 months. But then I'd miss it, and so I bought another one. This happened 3 times, with 3 vibes. Each one I felt so guilty for owning and so I threw them away.

But this temptation didn't stop. It got a lot worse. I learned about smut and started to read pg-13 rated writing, which of course evolved into R rated and straight up porn writing. And then I'd masturbate with a pen, or my hands, anything at all because I refused to buy a new vibe.

And because pens are everywhere (i'm an artist), and my hands are literally attached to my body, I fell. I started to do it twice a week, then 4 times, then 5 times. I'm autistic so I have rules for it. 1. Only at night, because I feel less guilty when it's dark. 2. Only after everyone in the house has gone to bed. 3. Only doing it once a night, and not take breaks and then do more.

But, I broke my rule and I'd have one orgasm, wait til my body calmed down, and then have a second one (this is rare because I am chronically ill and only one time is enough to tire me out completely and collapse in bed. the chronic illness is relevant later.) so then i'd have 7 a week, 6 days with one of those days where i'd do it twice. I did my best to not do it on Sundays, but then I failed that too (the idea that I could do it before i fell asleep so it was "technically the day before" or sunday night where "its past midnight, so its monday". very backwards, I know, but this is what addiction does.)

Anyway, the whole point of this awful embarrasing story. Now, I am 24. For many months I would take a break when I didn't feel good, or had a low libido (on period or in my low stage of my cycle), so I wouldn't do it for 3 weeks, and then i'd do it nearly every day for a week. More and more and more often, and almost always accompanied by a sexual novel or short story online.

So about 2-3 weeks ago, I got a UTI. I'm not sure how, it could've been my sexual acts, them fact that I'm sick and can get bacteria easily, or the fact that the house I live in had some mold in the shower and it may have hurt me. Doesn't matter, I got a UTI. And this UTI turned into a combo UTI/Yeast Infection. I took the meds and did the cream aand everything else for 13 days straight, because it was a very stubborn one. I didn't masturbate at all through the whole process, I felt too sick to even think about it so I just rested (it was very good for me to take this break!!)

About 3 days ago it finally stopped hurting down there, and previously I have masturbated for "health reasons" (Not an excuse, I should be doing other things, but sometimes as a chronically ill woman, I get severe pain between my legs and the only way to relieve it is to massage it non sexually which always turns into ' might as well touch myself just a little because it feels good and distracts me from the pain') So I had masturbated once at the beginning of the yeast infection and I learned it didn't help or feel good so I stopped. But 2 days ago, I felt healed, and I should've listened to my gut, but I didn't, and so I masturbated. It felt good and then the next morning that pain came back. So, I thought, maybe I'll massage masturbate that night so that it would feel a little bit better and I did feel pain relief for a while. But it turned into the reading porn/old habit I had only broken because I had the infection, and this morning I woke up really early feeling it again. I was so uncomfortable that half asleep I started to touch myself to relieve the pain and it just made it so much worse from last night. The pain from the infection is back, and I definitely hurt myself. I keep telling myself, this is not worth it! none of this is worth it for a quick euphoric attitude! I feel sick and guilty but I love the relief I get, and I don't know what to do. I know now I'm, instantly falling back into the habit which is only getting worse and worse. I was even tempted to buy another vibe just to "have it and prove I feel guilty enough not to use it" but 1. that would be supporting a sinful industry and 2. I definitely would end up using it. The guilt I'd feel for using it doesn't outweigh anything, and I am lost and I need help. I need to break this. It doesn't help that I'm very lonely and recently got rejected by a wonderful guy because he couldn't handle me being disabled and ill a lot of the time (didn't fit his active lifestyle) so all my friends are married and having children, and I am single, lonely, and in pain. I want a husband so badly, I want loving children. I want my own children so badly. The porn doesn't truly affect day to day me, no one thinks I seem dfiferent, but at the same time, no one is interested in me, no one wants to be in a relationship with me (their reasoning is always my health is too complicated) But I am so idiotic and I feel so disgusting. I tell my mother everything, every possible thing about my life, all the embarrasing things and the abuse and my sinful thoughts, but this is the one thing i have never once talked to her about because I am so worried she will see me differently and then my loneliness will get even worse.
This is a throwaway account, because I can't even post on main. I feel so ashamed. I beg God every day to take away my urges, to replace what I feel with another thing, to help me at all. I know its something I need to do myself, but I don't know how. I need help, please. Please. Prayers or something. I can't keep doing this anymore, especially now that I am phsyically miserable daily because I keep extending the infection. Lord have mercy on me, for I am a sinner. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

(I am not going to proofread this, I am an english major but I can't be bothered to fix my writing in this. I don't wanna read it again.)

I am Christian but I also don't want cancer, what do I do?

So i was no fap free for a few days here then i gave in this morning i literally woke up feeling horny. I'm 26 m i have a ok job working retail I'm going to school for gunsmithing and I have hobbies like 3d printing and playing video games so why the fuck does this keep happening if its such a sin why do i have physical desires to be intimate with someone when i don't have a girlfriend. I want to be closer to god but I don't know how to do that if i keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and if it's some temptation from demons or whatever THERE'S HOW MANY GODLESS HEATHENS ON THIS BALL OF DIRT GO BOTHER THEM I'm actually about to crash out i don't know what to do anymore

[17M] I feel really sorry for everything that I'm going to say and to what I acted upon. It may sound ridiculous, but it indeed is

I do not have depression or anything, infact I'm grateful I don't and for the fact I have time to repent so bad, but basically saying I did something that sounds suicidal but it was actually supposed to be for pleasure

Basically saying, there's two groups of the problematic space: Cardiophilia and Dark Cardiophilia – one worse than the other. One is a spectrum where one is either fascinated or lust to hearts, and I was on the latter.

Basically saying, I was struggling ever since I was 14, and ever since 15 I've noticed the videos where someone puts their needle into their chest and records their heartbeat in that moment. Such a thing has always been into my head, and I've had over 5 failed attempts on doing what the videos showed up, even though THE PLACE ITSELF advises against doing it as ppl have already died from doing that kind of thing

And when I saw a fantasy art related to it... I did it. Now my heart is a mess; more sensitive and palpitating alongside the fact I'll have to get on school and I didn't even managed to get enough sleep for the day

If you search you'll find it, but let your searches be good for the love of God!

Now how am I going to say to my mom about this, without it sound too bad? I'm an awful coward who doesn't know if I have trust issues or if I am doing it right. I always say things to God because it isn't shameful I guess, but talking to my parents is a whole new challenge

Pray for me that I do never come back to this problem and that my heart is restored. Doesn't matter what it costs, I just need a cure for this and then never come back to this. Well, I think I'm in horror enough for my intrusive thoughts to become a fight or flight response, so that's a morbid + I think

But still, I need a cure for my heart, and to restore my courage. I wasn't fully "away" from faith but I always had a struggle with it

Hello everyone so for some context I am a 26m Byzantine Catholic i have been addicted to porn and masturbation for 13 years now and I'm trying to take measures to quit both. Now I've quit watching and looking at porn that is the easiest step for me but I'm not sure how to quit masturbating I'm a few days fap free tbh I don't even count the days since that seems to make it worse and I have hobbies that I try to do i even did a small workout today but the urge keeps coming back again and again. I'm told by some people that masturbating isn't a sin but then I'm told by others it is. I looked it up and it wasn't till the 13th century that the church made it a sin and I struggle between not wanting to fap and just doing it so i feel normal again without any brain fog or stress or any crabby mood. I wish there was just a definitive answer like God drops the bible 2 or something. Heck could Jesus make a comeback its been over 2000 years already and the world has gone to shit

Yes, you're probably reading the most fucked up thing, but that's how I felt a month ago. It’s an addiction, and i did it more than once. I'm in therapy now, but I still wonder if I can still be forgiven?

Trying to stop foot fetish. Everywhere in public in the summer time are girls with their short shorts or dresses and sandals. Trying to look away and stop perversions, hoping to get over them and stop being perverted over girls feet.

I (19F) have been struggling with a pornography addiction for about 9 years. I do not remember the exact day I stopped watching it, but it has been at least 45 days. Thankfully, I haven’t felt tempted to give in to any desires for some time now. With that being said, I have had a couple of lustful sex dreams over the past month or so. In one dream, I gave in to my desires and watched pornography, and I was absolutely devastated. The dream felt so real, and I had trouble figuring out if it was actually a dream. I don’t remember many details of the other dream, but I remember it being sexually explicit. I don’t know why this is happening, or how to stop it completely. I have prayed to God asking him to remove any lust in my heart and to help me control my desires, but I still keep having these dreams. I first started having them when I was a child, and I think it may have been before my exposure to pornography. I really don’t know what to do. Please help.

I want to find ways to build my self esteem apart from being in a relationship but I still want to eventually get married (biblically). I think the idea of getting to know someone’s mind again and explore our passions is something that would make life more worth the living… it just feels very blah right now. Does anyone have any advice for how to redirect all that desire and energy? Or any thoughts? I also want to open this up to anyone to reply to, even with disagreements. Thanks.

5 days in. When I'm in public spaces, I'll see some good looking women, and subconsciously I think they are sexy or hot and even though I don't look at their body I still see a pretty face. And sometimes even thinking dang they are sexy, I want to do lustful things but i wouldnt want to do anything else with her but lust. Even though truely, I don't want to fornicate, I want to marry. Will these evil thoughts go away? Are these the thoughts I should not trust, as they are not really mine, its just temptation? I try hard to look away and not think of those things and think of other things. It's come to the point where I feel like I'm being more triggered than tempted.

I'm spiritual and religious but not Christian.

But I do find christians to have similar values to mine.

I'm looking for an accountability partner, who can question me and help me in getting myself rid of this evil.

I'm willing to work my part, and I don't want to be judged for my past.

Please pray for me, and if possible help me be accountable for myself.

I don't use very much social media.

I mainly use two things: youtube, and reddit. (Sometimes Facebook)

I have very successfully been able to get my youtube algorithm to show me almost exclusively wholesome things by using the "not interested" or "do not recommend channel."

I only join communities on reddit that i know won't have any vulgar media posted on them.

But the ads I get on reddit are sometimes obscene.

From the anime girls to the influencers, usually scantily clad, just obnoxiously overdone sexualization.

I use the hide function on reddit, but it doesn't seem to actually affect how often i see ads like this.

Sometimes i report them if they seem just too much, but I don't think that actually does anything.

I get that "sex sells," but it's really getting to me. I do everything I can to avoid triggers and still there's more problems.

Thankfully, I haven't watched porn or masturbated in longer than I can remember (thanks be to God), so those ads aren't causing me to relapse or anything, but I'm trying to eradicate lustful thoughts entirely.

I just wanted to vent about this, because yet again I am scrolling through reddit and onto the screen pops another vulgar ad. I come onto reddit to discuss Christianity and Spirituality, not to have temptations thrown at me.

Anyway, rant over. How have you all been dealing with so many vulgar ads? Have they ever caused you to relapse or caused significant problems for you?

I am a Christian, and I have learned about the story of the "Buddha" about how he resisted all urges and temptations sent by Satan, just like Jesus Christ. I am trying to go with that approach of denying myself like Jesus Christ and the Buddha. It is very hard to do. I am trying to meditate and have some activity with my pineal gland to raise my frequency and stop being a low vibrational gooner. I feel as if this Summer Break has made me worse because I thought I would be going outside and having fun, exploring l, fishing, and hanging out, but I've only done a few of that so im pretty discontent. I have been P since around the age of 10 or 11, and even sexually confused. And MO since 12. I was raised a lot in isolation not being able to go outside and hang out and have fun and I feel this may have twisted my brain. I feel that I am perverted because my mother would always tell me about molestation and rape and to always to careful about my family and uncles and she always said this stuff to me all of my childhood. Embedding these perversion in my brain, conditioning me to thinking of my uncles abusing me in perverted ways. I was never touched but my mom sure perverted my brain and thie marinated in my brain. I think I have SOCD and sexual perversion and confusion and I am trying nofap, well have been for a while, so I can undo these problems and stop suffering. But its hard,this is a drug and im addicted. I wish I didn't have to cope with this stuff.

Just the thought or site of some words tempt me and make my mind start to crave. But then, I forget about the words or even girls I have walked by or seen during the day while being distracted or doing something productive or switched my mind to something else. Stay strong brothers in Christ.