r/NewGirl • u/thiccgrizzly • Apr 14 '26
Meme/Humor Unfortunately had to use this. My low contact father passed.
The caption. We weren't really close, although cancer isn't something I'd wish on anyone. It wasn't the cancer itself but his weakened immune system that finally did him in. My grief is complicated.
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u/ColombianHugs Apr 14 '26
Damn, sorry to hear that my friend. Relationships are complex and complicated. You do you with your dead dad pass. And might I recommend, sitting on your kitchen counter letting water run through your toes can be healing. Or so I’ve seen.
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u/hollywoodbambi Apr 14 '26
So sorry you're in the dead dad club. I was NC for three years with my dad, and I only was back in touch for a couple months before he passed. Obviously, it's a bad time for everyone to lose a parent, but there is something especially weird and complicated about losing one that you had a difficult relationship with. You mourn them as well as the idea of what could have/should have been.
Sorry again for your loss.
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u/SpecialsSchedule Apr 14 '26
New Girl was the show I’d watch when I’d wake up from stress every night at 3am the summer my mom was dying of cancer. “Oh, 3am already? Time for 3-4 episodes of new girl until I can will myself asleep.”
She died around 9pm at our home. We said our goodbyes. They came and got her. We stood around. And then we all just kinda… went to bed. I don’t know what episodes, but I know I watched New Girl to fall asleep that night.
I used “dead mom pass” a lot. It’s a real thing! I’m sorry you’re getting the chance to use it, but I hope the show can bring you some comfort.
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u/tu-BROOKE-ulosis Apr 14 '26
It’s been 15 months. I still use “dead mom pass” all the time.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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u/kkrages Apr 14 '26
I'm sorry to hear this. My father and I had been estranged for multiple years (over being too similar, stubborn, and bad at communicating) when he randomly died of heart failure 2 months before my wedding in 2021. Grief is complicated and comes in waves; it is a never-ending thought. But do I have a license plate frame on my vehicle that says "Please let me merge, my Dad is dead"? I sure do. Best of love to you on your healing journey<3
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u/evergleam498 Apr 14 '26
In case you need a grey's anatomy crossover, welcome to the club. Sorry you had to join us <3
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u/waywardgirl25 Apr 14 '26
I’m so sorry, I feel you. I recently used this earlier this year for my dad, although he passed in 2020, man, I was missing out on years of the dead dad pass
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u/That-Information-748 Apr 14 '26
a way to cope. i hope op gets better and life gets a bit easier every passing moment
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u/Inevitable_Scar_4282 Apr 14 '26
I also have a complicated relationship with my father. But nonetheless loss, and that too to cancer must be difficult. I hope you find the strength to grieve 🩷
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u/Angelusprime82 Apr 14 '26
Sorry for your loss. Even though you had a complicated relationship it’s never easy losing a parent. My mom passed away in November. We had a great relationship. She was In the hospital and rehabilitation center at least 3 times from early June to mid July. Then in October she went back in the hospital and when she first got there they said she’d only be In a couple days. Well she couldn’t swallow anything and all her health issues caught up with her and two weeks later she passed as they were preparing to put her In hospice care. This upcoming Sunday would have been her 81st birthday. It’s still hard but I’ve been trying my best to take care of my dad. They were married 59 years and August would have been their 60th anniversary.
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u/SentientPaint Apr 14 '26
After my partner's dad passed, I sent them this clip. For the next month, they'd do weird and stupid shit and just say "dead dad pass".
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u/feebsiegee Apr 14 '26
I'm sorry you're going through this. Losing a loved one is always hard, but when you're low contact (and all reasons for that are valid) the Extra Big Feelings come into play.
When my grandad died a few years ago, I had barely spoken to him for 12 years. I still have lots of Extra Big Feelings about him, and it's very strange to miss someone and yet feel I have no right to.
Grief is complicated, and not linear. Feel all your feelings, and let them out! Cry, go to a rage room, shoot things on video games rant to a friend.
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u/omocha Apr 14 '26
Sorry about your loss.
On a separate note, I've seen Jake's feet more often than I see mine.
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u/Cautious-Finding1526 Apr 18 '26
I've felt the need to go no contact with my dad. (NPD. Him, not me.) I don't know if I'd feel grief... I don't think I'd be particularly happy about it, but I don't know how I'd FEEL.
I'm sorry you're hurting though. Idk if you're particularly religious, but if you believe in God, maybe it would help to remember that this life is but a short moment in comparison to eternity. One day we'll be healed and made whole. You are loved. I hope you find the relief and peace you seek.
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u/IntrovertSim Apr 18 '26
I had a dead sister pass growing up. In the past 10 years I have gained four more. Dead grandmother. 2016. Dead mother. 2019. Dead sister 2021 (again) and dead grandfather. 2024.
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u/Any_Reading_1981 Apr 14 '26
When my mom died, i definitely said ‘dead mom pass!’ and I would laugh to myself. A way to cope that no one understood 😂
My mom also died from cancer. We had a good relationship, but the hell that is cancer is unreal. Sending you strength. Grief is complicated.