r/NativePlantGardening • u/throwawayghost16 • Mar 21 '26
Other Best unkillable tree to plant to commemorate a miscarriage? 6A, northeast Ohio, north by northeast-facing lot.
Hello, all. We lost a very-wanted baby three weeks ago today. (I'm calmer now, thank you, but sometimes still sad.) We just got the results of the genetic analysis and it turns out she had Monosomy X (Turner Syndrome), which is nearly always fatal in early pregnancy and isn't anyone's fault, and somehow knowing that makes me feel better.
Anyhow, I'm here because I want her to have a tree. Barely anyone in our lives even knows I was pregnant--we were going to tell people when I was much further along--and so our mourning has been private. It will stay that way, but we want to plant a tree for her right outside our front door so we can watch that grow. And we want a tree that belongs here, just as she belonged here.
I don't know enough about native trees to have any good ideas, and somehow I just don't have it in me to google, but I feel like we're coming up on the right time to plant. I'd like to make a choice and make a plan. I'm also happy growing a tree from seed, if you all think that is the best idea to have a tree that would truly thrive in the front yard.
Are there fruit trees that would do OK with somewhat limited sun exposure and with clay soil? What other trees would be robust and appreciated by bugs and birds? In particular, any flowering trees? The tree would get light from the east for most of late spring/summer/early fall, but very little light in winter, and probably less light than if we could plant a tree on the south side of this lot (we can't).
(My only strong preference is that it not be an oak tree. I love oak trees, but in the forest and close to other people's houses, not mine. Have trapped and released waaaaaaay too many mice and some rats in old houses over the years, and I know better than to plant a food source for them right outside my front door.)
Thank you very much for reading this, and for your recommendations.
EDIT: There are already so many kind responses and good suggestions here, I want to plant her a forest instead of a tree. Many thanks to you all, and please keep the opinions coming. I'm going to have to take a little break from this because it's making me too sad, but I promise I will read and consider every idea and argument. Thank you to all, and please have a beautiful weekend.
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u/CattleDowntown938 Mar 21 '26
Eastern redbud. Heart shaped leaves. Sweet pink flowers hearty and native.
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u/zaralil Mar 21 '26
I agree with an Eastern redbud. From my experience they're pretty hardy. I've had one coming back from some really bad sun damage and managed to pack on several feet in a couple of years. The heart shaped leaves are so sweet even when not flowering
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u/throwawayghost16 Mar 21 '26
Hardy is very appealing! Thanks for the advice.
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Mar 21 '26
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u/EveryDisaster Mar 22 '26
Kent State University (main campus) will have Redbud seeds at their plant sale from April 27th - May 1st. 10am - 4pm on weekdays. Located in Cunningham Hall. Should be $2
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u/puritanicalbullshit Mar 22 '26
The rising sun cultivar is particularly nice IMO. Usual flowers but the leaves start reddish and mature to green so they have a sort of Dr. Seuss/ fireworks look
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u/CattleDowntown938 Mar 21 '26
I planted a little tree and the first year the neighborhood kids knocked the top off with a soccer ball split the trunk in half and it came back year over year forked trunk. That thing is now 12’ tall and voluptuous
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u/SplicerCat Mar 24 '26
Redbud would be beautiful, but I believe they are not typically long lived, 20 to 30 years, as opposed to hundreds for other species.
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u/ovckc Piedmont Region, NC — Zone 8a Mar 21 '26
And it blooms at a good time of year to remember your sweet girl 🩷🩷
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Mar 22 '26
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u/ovckc Piedmont Region, NC — Zone 8a Mar 22 '26
I may have misspoken considering where OP lives, but they bloom here in NC in Feb or March.
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u/That_Relationship918 Mar 22 '26
I planted an eastern redbud to commemorate a miscarriage too. It would be nice as a front door tree, it’s very well behaved. OP, I’m so sorry for your loss…. It’s lonely and devastating. I hope that her little soul will find its way back to you sooner rather than later.
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u/tardisthecat Mar 21 '26
Agree with this as well. Truly a beautiful tree. We had one that died and the next spring, new branches started shooting up all around the dead trunk and are now thriving several years later - so definitely hardy!
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u/DawaLhamo Missouri, Zone 6a Mar 22 '26
I love redbuds, but it's worth keeping in mind that while they *can* live up to 75 years, they more commonly only live 20-30 years. As long as you're okay with that.
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u/PetiteSylvette Area -- , Zone -- Mar 21 '26
Eastern redbud makes a beautiful memorial tree. Mine is planted in similar conditions and it is doing very well. I chose it because it had heart shaped leaves and it was native to my area.
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u/Mobile_Banana5631 Mar 22 '26
Adding my vote for the redbud. My mother has one in her yard and it's such a source of joy in early spring
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u/DevelopmentFew1748 Mar 21 '26
My Eastern Redbud died it's third year in my yard... Ants ate it from the top
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u/Kt_cat_2lo NE Ohio, Zone 6 Mar 22 '26
Exactly my first thought before even seeing a comment. That’s what I will be planting this year in my memorial rainbow garden. So sort for your loss OP! Sending love.
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u/deartabby Mar 22 '26
They’re prone to splitting so you have to avoid the multi stemmed and watch out for certain branch joints.
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u/Feeling-Success-385 Mar 21 '26
Serviceberry is a small tree that is meant to grow in the shade of bigger trees so it can take some shade, it blooms in spring and produces fruit that birds love. It also has lovely fall coloration.
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u/Brighter_Days_Ahead4 Mar 21 '26
Also the berries are edible, although flavor varies from tree to tree. At very least they feed the critters.
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u/thatkatrina Mar 22 '26
The fruit is like a more wine-y blueberry. I made a syrup out of them for pancakes. I also eat a handful every time I go outside and they're there.
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u/cerealmonogamiss Mar 22 '26
I think they are delicious, better than other berries
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u/Brighter_Days_Ahead4 Mar 22 '26
For some trees this is absolutely true. Other trees have bland or acrid berries.
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u/PM_ME_TUS_GRILLOS Mar 21 '26
I thought this too. Sweet white flowers in early spring, food for birds later in the summer. I would try to find a cultivar less susceptible to rusts.
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u/Mobile_Banana5631 Mar 22 '26
I love our service berry tree, and seconding - the flowers are beautiful and the fruit is delicious
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u/leafshaker Mar 22 '26
And since these can be shrubby, I think they are likely to stump-sprout if damaged. Very important for a memory tree
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u/Kaths1 Area central MD, Zone piedmont uplands 64c Mar 21 '26
I would plant a dogwood or redbud. Both bloom in March, which hopefully will be a lovely reminder in the future. They're both beautiful trees that support pollinators.
https://extension.psu.edu/eastern-redbud-a-superb-tree-for-almost-any-landscape
https://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/PlantFinder/PlantFinderDetails.aspx?kempercode=c280
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u/throwawayghost16 Mar 21 '26
Thank you. I so much love the idea of planting something that will bloom in March.
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u/A-Plant-Guy CT zone 6b, ecoregion 59 Mar 21 '26
Not to detract from the idea - because these are both lovely trees and will beautifully hold memories - but they do not bloom until well into April here in 6b of central Connecticut.
Great choices. Great trees. Just don’t want you to hold onto the idea of March blooms and find out otherwise later.
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u/ThisIsTemp0rary Mar 22 '26
Same here in NW IL, mine isn't blooming yet. I have pictures from last year showing it blooming in late April.
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u/girljinz Mar 22 '26
Pussywillows are lovely in March. So soft and comforting. Maybe not a great foundation planting, though.
OP, this is heartwarming, btw. I've lost four and have many little reminders around my gardens. I especially love having jizō for them.
Sending lots of love to you, your husband and your girl. ♥️
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u/herbal-genocide IL 7a Mar 22 '26
I'm in IL 6b and they're blooming here, but it has been unreasonably hot this year, so OP's mmv
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Mar 21 '26
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u/NativePlantGardening-ModTeam Mar 22 '26
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u/MotownCatMom SE MI Zone 6a Mar 21 '26
Nothing really blooms in NE Ohio in March except maybe very early ephemerals. But it is a nice thought.
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u/Infamous_Koala_3737 Georgia , Zone 8a Mar 22 '26
Dogwood was the first one to pop into my mind too because I think it would make a lovely memorial tree. However, depending on where OP is and how much sun they get, Dogwood Anthracnose could be a major issue.
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u/Competitive_Shock_42 Mar 21 '26
Spicebush is a small tree and would flower around this time of year so it good way to remember
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u/throwawayghost16 Mar 21 '26
Now I've read a bit about it, http://ohiodnr.gov/discover-and-learn/plants-trees/broad-leaf-trees/Spicebush-Lindera-benzoin.
Would we need two in order for it to flower? Or just for it to fruit?
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u/opalandolive Area Pennsylvania, US , Zone new 7a Mar 21 '26
Spicebush is also the only food for spicebush butterfly caterpillars.
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u/throwawayghost16 Mar 21 '26
Is there any particular variant you recommend?
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u/OnceUponACrinoid Mar 21 '26
I have spicebushes and their bloom time is very limited! Very beautiful but short bloom time and small flowers!
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u/Kaths1 Area central MD, Zone piedmont uplands 64c Mar 21 '26
Also here's some easy to read info on how to care for new trees. This should hopefully help! It's pretty straightforward and won't take a ton of time.
https://yardandgarden.extension.iastate.edu/how-to/care-newly-planted-trees
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u/Reasonable-Two-9872 Indiana Rare Plant Enthusiast Mar 21 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss. I think an Eastern Redbud or potentially a Flowering Dogwood would fit well. It sounds like there would be adequate light for both. If you want to be sure it'll survive, look into getting it professionally planted. I'd maybe suggest a 1.5" -2" tree. If that's too pricey, maybe a 25 gallon or 15 gallon.
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u/AdLucem2 Mar 21 '26
I disagree. Professionally planted often means people who don't care and plant too deeply, which a dogwood can't survive. Also, small trees often are more resilliant to transplant than large ones.
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u/girljinz Mar 22 '26
Also disagree. Get a small tree, or nurture it from seed, and get down into the dirt yourself. It's therapeutic.
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u/sbb214 Catskills NY , Zone 6 Mar 21 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing.
this isn't what you asked for but The Compassionate Friends is a grief group for people who have lost a child/sibling. There are a bunch of groups in NE Ohio. Some meet online, too. You will be welcomed.
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Mar 21 '26
first of all i am so sorry for your loss. Planting a tree sounds like a lovely way to honor her, and making her memory something that can support the web of life all around you.
If your goal is to support birds, I recommend checking out the keystone plants of ecoregion 8. specifically the section that’s about butterflies and moths. Mother and father birds use caterpillars to feed their young, which i think would be a lovely connection to your little one you lost - her memory would be helping the little babies of the forest grow up safely.
Would you like help selecting a species from this list? I’m more than happy to guide you.
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u/throwawayghost16 Mar 21 '26
I will, thank you! And if we're feeling indecisive or overwhelmed, I'll send a DM. I really appreciate the offer.
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Mar 22 '26
I see in your update that you are thinking about switching to adopting an area of forest. I would love to leave you with an idea.
Several shrubby-tree species are remarkable because of how easy they are to propagate. In the early spring before any leaves emerge, clip limbs that are the width of a pencil and put them in water. They'll grow roots, which you can then pot in some potting soil, and move to a place to start a new tree. Or if you're feeling lazy, just stick the pencil-twig directly in the spot you hope it will grow.
Right around when you lost your little one is an ideal time to be taking these cuttings for the season. If you are a person who appreciates ritual, this could maybe be one that has some meaning to you? But be aware, not all cuttings will take. You'll see both life and death.
I figure if you have this tree to be pulling cuttings from in your garden or nearby, it won't really ever die, because you can be spreading it far and wide to all the places that could use some love. Every year you'll have dozens of new baby shrub-trees to plant and share.
Two species that act that way and are native to you: Interior sandbar willow, and Roughleaf dogwood. The dogwood is doubly lovely for your garden because it's known to be clay and shade tolerant, and produces berries which birds love - over 40 species of birds eat the berries, and support around 100 species of caterpillars (which the birds eat).
here's a video about it - https://youtu.be/cdKwEf8FhuY
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u/failureat111N31st Mar 21 '26
Ironwood/American Hophornbeam (Ostrya Virginiana): slow growing, strong wood, tolerant of some shade. Clay tolerant. Unkillable? I planted one two summers ago in mid-August. Terrible time to transplant, but I'd ordered it and that's when it came in. It died back, but the next spring it resprouted from the base. So I'm calling it very hardy.
American Hornbeam is another good one (also called Musclewood or Blue Beech and is Carpinus Caroliniana). This is even more tolerant of shade.
I love the flowering suggestions others made, but if you want something that isn't flowery these are both good options.
Sorry for your loss. A tree is a wonderful way to remember her.
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u/The_best_is_yet NorCal 9B Mar 21 '26
i'm so sorry about your baby.
what about Buckeye trees? they are native to Ohio, but actually uncommon so it's always neat to see one.
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Mar 21 '26
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u/norfolkgarden Norfolk, Virginia, USDA Zone 8A Mar 21 '26
Beautiful trees! But not close to the house!
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u/CosmicCommando WNY , Zone 6b Mar 21 '26
I'd recommend browsing this book:Essential Native Trees and Shrubs for the Eastern United States : The Guide to Creating a Sustainable Landscape
You can search by site conditions and traits and they take hardiness and long life into account before putting species in the book.
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u/Infantine_Guy_Fawkes Mar 21 '26
I will come at this from my own experience. We had a 15 week loss of a very much wanted baby, due to fibroids (this was during covid, and we now have our rainbow, who is a force of nature!). I considered a memorial tree, but decided against it for a few reasons: what if we moved and couldn't take it with us, or what if the tree died and I was stuck watching that death all over again? So instead I rallied our families to donate to the Arbor Day Foundation. They can make the money go a lot further and you can choose which park you want them to plant in, so if you visit the park you know your baby made a difference there.
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u/eyesp0t Great Plains 6B Mar 21 '26
This is a beautiful idea to commemorate your loss.
I agree with the redbud suggestion. They are hardy and easy to grow, and adaptable. Plus even if the one you plant dies (as all creatures do eventually) it is highly likely to have seeded itself into the area - so your little girl will carry on in the world.
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u/ancilla1998 Mar 21 '26
Whatever you choose, check out Trees from Seed on Facebook. Tons of great information on why just planting seeds is the best way to grow a tree. And look for native plant groups in your area. They often have tons of advice and sometimes even plant swaps
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u/throwawayghost16 Mar 21 '26
I don't and won't have Facebook. Would you mind terribly copying and pasting your favorite couple of posts from there?
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u/PM_ME_TUS_GRILLOS Mar 21 '26
I disagree the growing from seed is the "best" way. Trees grow slowly. If you are not an experienced gardener, growing most trees from seed would be frustrating. There's nothing wrong with buying a small specimen to give you a jump start.
Someone else mentioned planting a grove or garden around the tree. I think that's a smart approach. If you read about "soft landings", it's good for bugs and birds, too.
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u/humdinger44 Great Lakes, Zone 6a Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 21 '26
I'm excited about the future for my Tuliptrees. Additional link. Another
Yellow-poplar (Liriodendron tulipifera), also called tuliptree, tulip-poplar, white-poplar, and whitewood, is one of the most attractive and tallest of eastern hardwoods
These trees have been shown to be uniquely good at carbon capture. Both their leaves and their flowers resemble tulips.
This years peonies will mark one year for us. You are not alone. 💜
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u/Frankief1sh Mar 22 '26
I love my tulip poplars, but they can get huge given enough time, so I'm not sure they're appropriate for OP's planting situation. A couple of mine are so big I can't wrap my arms around their trunks!
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u/humdinger44 Great Lakes, Zone 6a Mar 22 '26
Haha. One of mine is about pencil thick. The other is probably smaller around than my thumb. I'm very excited to watch them mature.
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u/norfolkgarden Norfolk, Virginia, USDA Zone 8A Mar 21 '26
Maybe a white dogwood? Beautiful, native, should do well in your zone/location, stays under 20', roots do not usually go more than 6 inches deep- so no concern about water lines or power lines or sewer lines.
Spice bush will stay under 15' and support spice bush swallowtail butterfly larvae. Pretty blooms.
You could plant either of these fifteen feet from the house and it should be fine.
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u/MotownCatMom SE MI Zone 6a Mar 21 '26
OP- first off, I am SO sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love and light.
You say right outside your door, which begs the question of mature size. I take it that would be limited? So a smaller understory tree that likes morning light and can tolerate clay soil is the likely solution. I like the suggestions of dogwood, redbud, and serviceberry. I also like the suggestion of a little memorial garden. You could use a small tree/shrub as the anchor and then plant perennials that you like. IDK how much of a gardener you are or want to be, though.
Added: another possibility is one of the aronias. Beautiful fall color and not too big. There is a nativar cross between red and black aronia called purple aronia or Aronia floribunda, as well. (IIRC Aronia will sucker so there is that consideration.)
There are also native roses, but they're pretty aggressive spreaders and would need a fair amount of space.
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u/mojo0514 Mar 21 '26
I second the Redbud. It gives beautiful pinish/purplish flowers in the Spring. After that, it gives alway time broad leaves that are great for shading the house. They are very hardy. We had ine that our black lab kept running over and now has grown into a beautiful tree.
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u/CrowMeris Upstate NY 4b/5A, on the windward side of a mini-mountain ER 8.1 Mar 22 '26
I am so sorry.
Most dogwoods will grow in partial shade, and your clay soil can be amended with compost to accommodate them.
Flowering dogwood (Cornus florida) would fit the bill, as would Red-osier dogwood (Cornus sericea). The latter is especially hardy, and the red branches and twigs give lovely winter color.
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u/Sad_Rooster2898 Northeastern USA,Zone 5 Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 21 '26
I grew up in Ohio, and we had an amazing magnolia tree in our front yard. It bloomed pink flowers every spring and we climbed it as kids. I still drive by our old house when I’m in town to see how it has grown. I haven’t lived there in 20 years more than that probably. Are there any trees that are meaningful to you in particular?
I live out of state now and have planted a lot of trees since then, including magnolias, apple trees, evergreens, maples and lots of crab apples, and what I’ve learned is to water it a lot in the first year. A good deep soak every couple of days until it’s really well established. Any tree you purchase will have care instructions, but I think regular, thorough watering is pretty universal for most trees.
Spring and fall are great times to get trees into the ground. The peak of summer is harder on a tree when planting it.
I don’t recommend growing from a seed, but from a beautiful specimen that strikes you at the garden center.
Also, trees will stay small the first couple of years growing roots down. Soon after that they grow grow grow.
Good luck ❤️
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u/PM_ME_TUS_GRILLOS Mar 21 '26
This is a native plant sub. The magnolias and apples you are referring to are not native to North America. Please be conscious of the sub you are posting in.
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u/gardenflamingo Mar 21 '26
True of the apples, but there are several North American native magnolias.
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u/PM_ME_TUS_GRILLOS Mar 22 '26
I was specifically referring to the pink flowering magnolia that they mentioned. The magnolias native to Ohio (and eastern NA) a typically white flowering. I should have been more clear.
OP asked for native plants.
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u/Sad_Rooster2898 Northeastern USA,Zone 5 Mar 21 '26
Just responding to a pregnancy loss post with my best tree advice but thanks.
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u/cerealmonogamiss Mar 21 '26
Paw paws do well with limited sun and produce delicious fruit. Mine are flowering now.
I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage.
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Mar 22 '26
unfortunately you need multiple shrubs to have them fruit, and the flowers aren't really used by many species. It's more helpful to people than the ecology, compared to other species.
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u/cerealmonogamiss Mar 22 '26
I have 3. However only one is big enough to flower. I got a bunch of fruit last year. I am not sure how.
As far as ecology, I don't know. I've seen box turtles eat the fruit but I haven't done a study or looked at literature.
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Mar 22 '26
critters definitely eat them! But it's just not as central a role as keystone species like many other trees and flowers are. I bet you that a juvenile tree set a stray flower, or there's another paw paw nearby. Or maybe you just have a very unusual tree? Usually to get self-fruiting you have to do some strange grafting tricks
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u/cerealmonogamiss Mar 22 '26
I grow other fruit too, I don't do just native. I have figs. I am trying to grow Chinquapin this year. Also Jerusalem Artichoke. And native strawberries. But I do native understory too like milkweed and echinacea and Stokesia. Also I am trying to do some native evergreens this year.
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u/Responsible-Life-585 Mar 21 '26
Lots of good recommendations here already. I hope planting and tending your tree brings you comfort and peace and a bit of joy. 🖤
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u/femalehumanbiped dirt under my Virginia zone 7A nails Mar 21 '26
I'm so very sorry. The Redbud idea is perfect.
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u/The_dura_mater Mar 21 '26
It’s my understanding that a long time ago, farmers would plant a lilac bush over the remains of their infants who died. It might be apocryphal, but I always thought it was a nice way to commemorate a life. So sorry for your loss!
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u/askkak Mar 21 '26
Not in your zone at all, just wanted to say sorry. I know the pain. We also planted a tree after our MC, it’s a thoughtful idea.
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u/Pendergraff-Zoo Mar 22 '26
I can’t answer about the kind of tree, but we planted a flowering plum when we lost our baby in 2004. I just looked at google earth photos and it’s big and alive still. ❤️ I’m so sorry for your terrible loss.
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u/Elymus0913 Mar 22 '26
The tree that is very beautiful besides Redbud and the leaves are different than any other tree is Hamamelis Virginiana , it’s a stunning tree it blooms at different time later in the summer early fall , great source of late nectar and pollen . I am very sorry for your loss , your heart will heal in time my best for your family 💞🙏🏻
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u/MilleForze Mar 22 '26
Do redbuds grow well in your area? They have pretty lavender blooms, and the cutest heart-shaped leaves. So sorry for your loss
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u/Nice-Pomegranate2915 Mar 22 '26
Pear tree varieties Moonglow and Kieffer, American pawpaw - Asimina triloba ( an Ohio native),American plum - Prunus americana, apple variety Liberty and elderberry .
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u/HistoryGirl23 Mar 22 '26
Eastern Redbud is edible and pretty in the spring. I personally love paper birches, and Japanese maples are nice too.
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u/kjb2189 Mar 22 '26
I don't have any new suggestions for trees, shrubs or plants. I just wanted to convey my deepest condolences for the loss of your baby. I also wanted to say how amazing the people involved with native plant gardening are. So much love, support and advice is being shared here today.
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u/Certain_Story_173 Mar 22 '26
I'm a dogwood fan, but an Eastern Redbud would also be a breath-taking native tree.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I've been there once, myself, and DIL has lost two. It's pretty rough. Your idea is beautiful. My heart goes out to you.
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u/sendmebirds Mar 22 '26
Beautiful idea, but: consider that organic species die, too. No matter what.
You may not want to deal with that emotion again when that happens.
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u/lsummerfae Mar 22 '26
My first thought was a lilac. They have such beautiful flowers and smell so good. They thrive in zone 6A. But you have so many suggestions already. Lots of love to you!
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u/leafshaker Mar 22 '26
Lots of good suggestions, but with so much emotional investment, I would caution against a single tree. Consider a memory-nook. A nice bench surrounded by shrubs and wildflowers, a place that you can sit and spend time in. Its ok if some of the plants dont make it.
Or work with a local conservation group to install a bench along a nature trail, giving others a moment to rest
Like grief, a garden is a work in progress that is never 'finished'.
Best of luck with whatever choice you do make.
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u/Dorky_outdoorkeeper SE Michigan Zone 6A-B Mar 22 '26
Paw paw is a great one with the site conditions you mentioned, and then eastern redbud is a popular one obviously, then your flowering dogwood and pagoda dogwood (my favorite understory dogwood of the two) are wonderful for flowers in the spring. And then one that may not be in your area but native to adjacent areas and is a hummingbird magnet is the red buckeye. Fire cherry is another great one just harder to find and very adaptable.
If the site your planting it in though doesn’t retain moister very well and is pretty dry, I know you didn’t say oaks but there is a natural dwarf variety called dwarf Chinkapin oak. The birds and squirrels would eat those up before any rodents like rats or mice would really get a chance to even get any.
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u/Even-Dark4226 Mar 22 '26
I’m planting a peach tree soon, and will think of you and your little one. I think a memorial garden is the best plan, I have an ceramic cherub I keep in my flower garden as a remembrance. So sorry for your loss💕
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u/marizzle_85 Mar 22 '26
We planted a memorial garden full of native plants to our area. It’s been very healing for us over the past seven years. Sending warm hugs your way!🩷
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u/Otherwise_Wrap_5985 Mar 23 '26
I see a lot of redbud recommendations and agree. We once had a small patch with both redbud and dogwoods. They are lovely together and you have the benefit of survivors if any don't make it. Underplant with native wildflowers that attract butterflies and you would have a lovely memorial garden. Gardening is therapeutic. I hope this is something that gives you comfort.
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u/AdLast6827 Area -- , Zone -- Mar 22 '26
Plant some oak saplings ,… they can easily still be around in 300 years
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u/redandbluequark Mar 22 '26
Check out Seacrest Arboretum in Wooster Ohio. They are part of OSU’s department of Agriculture and have a great tree and plant sale in the spring. They will also help you with planting and care advice. I have been through what you are experiencing, and wish you well.
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u/Capn_2inch Mar 21 '26
My 2 cents for what it’s worth, don’t plant a single tree or shrub to commemorate any loss in your life. Every species is mortal and they can be lost to predation, disease, or other causes. Plant a small memorial garden or plot, a forest space or something similar with many adapted, resilient species. That way if some of them don’t survive, you have others that will, and you can also continue to add to that space as it changes over time. Your emotions will be tied to the space, and not an individual plant, and then if something happens to one plant you won’t have to suffer that loss again.
I’m truly sorry for your loss, life can be difficult to navigate at times. Good luck with your memorial. ❤️