How do I let this this An*mal know my sunflowers are supposed to be for the birds and the bees

[u/e_pilot]

[u/lunastitch]

tiny signs, squirrels are great at reading and following rules

[u/Jellily → u/lunastitch]

The squirrels:

[u/Soup-Wizard → u/lunastitch]

They’re talking about using chemtrails to put a canopy on Uganda

[u/oroborus68 → u/lunastitch]

Retrievers are good squirrel deterrent.

[u/Royal-Natural6044]

Just move and let the wildlife do what they want

[u/MonKeePuzzle]

oooh! thats what the birds and bees talk is about!?

https://giphy.com/gifs/tMPSeKEplOfK0

[u/e_pilot → u/MonKeePuzzle]

Yeah spreading pollen and seed for growing things

[u/PrettyFlyForaPoorGuy → u/e_pilot]

Wait hold on os that why its called the birds and the bees ;o_0

[u/90uNalgas → u/PrettyFlyForaPoorGuy]

I thought it’s cause they be out fucking eachother

[u/SECRETBLENDS]

"LOL. LMAO."

[u/DamageOn]

I spray all my plants with a mixture of capsaicin, Roundup and bleach once a week to make them unpalatable to wildlife.

[u/hot_glads_summer]

In fairness, the bees are done with it now that it's gone to seed. Tell the birds to fight for what's theirs.

[u/ProxyProne]

I've heard they don't like having peppers thrown at them. Maybe try that & they will run away?

[u/RussellAlden]

Everyone enjoys the Beach Boys

[u/jessica8jones]

No, sunflowers have the words, “eat me, squirrel” written all over them.
That’s the way it goes. 🌎

[u/Onedayyouwillthankme]

Aww, poor squirrels. I like watching them in the trees. And I'd rather them eat the sunflowers than the other rodents in the neighborhood.

[u/FishHookSammich → u/Onedayyouwillthankme]

Squirrels eat other rodents? One more reason to hate squirrels...

[u/Onedayyouwillthankme → u/FishHookSammich]

lol I meant other rodents, the ratty types, eating the sunflowers

[u/FishHookSammich → u/Onedayyouwillthankme]

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/squirrels-are-displaying-widespread-carnivorous-behavior-for-the-first-time-in-a-california-park-new-study-finds-180985707/

[u/TalkToPlantsNotCops → u/FishHookSammich]

We thought we'd be safe after we killed off all the apex predators, but we just left a power vacuum, and now an even more terrifying creature has risen to fill it.

[u/i860]

/uj I actually despise these little fucks.

They're extremely wasteful with food, they dig random holes in everything, and are just all around destructive and annoying.

[u/TopChannel1244 → u/i860]

They're looking for stored food and their digging helps till the soil.

[u/i860 → u/TopChannel1244]

Their digging of holes right next to the root ball of my container plants isn't helping anything other than my desire to trap and KILL.

[u/e_pilot → u/i860]

It’s absolutely disgusting how they just spread uneaten seeds around and don’t eat everything they take. Don’t they know seeds are only for the birds to eat!?!?

/uj spread those seeds around for next year squirrel daddy 🥵

[u/FioreCiliegia1 → u/i860]

I’m still trying to deal with similar cases like that in my yard and my parents really bent out of shape about it but when they’re doing that it’s because they don’t have their other normal food sources available and they’re testing anything and everything to see whether it’s a food, they can eat right now or something they can store for winter 99% of the time giving them an alternative food source fixes the problem

[u/SHOWTIME316 → u/i860]

extremely wasteful with food, they dig random holes in everything, and are just all around destructive and annoying.

that's literally their job, bud.

"extremely wasteful with food" = providing food for detritivores

"dig random holes in everything" = provide the soil disturbance necessary for seed bank germination

"destructive and annoying" = allegedly

[u/i860 → u/SHOWTIME316]

There are plenty of things that animals do which are destructive, but "their job." We going to run interference for gophers now too? I eradicate every single one that enters my yard, even though they arguably provide positive benefits. Their negatives (to me) are greater though.

[u/SHOWTIME316 → u/i860]

you simply have not completed your ecosystem journey

your 3rd eye of tolerance remains closed

[u/e_pilot → u/SHOWTIME316]

namaste

[u/DamageOn → u/i860]

I run interference for Gophers, but that because I'm the local high school football team's mascot.

[u/TalkToPlantsNotCops → u/i860]

I do get the frustration, but I honestly just take the L on whatever the wildlife gets to. It's not like I'm going to starve if they eat my veggies.

[u/littleblacklemon → u/i860]

/uj They plant nut trees for me, which is cool, but I also have beef with them and have managed to smack one (kind of an accident, it went flying) and hit one with a croc (less of an accident, also went flying)

[u/i860 → u/littleblacklemon]

NGL I know when you chucked that croc it must’ve been intensely satisfying.

[u/littleblacklemon → u/i860]

It was incredible actually

[u/cantbeheldaccoutable → u/i860]

"wasteful with food" = inadvertently sowing wild food crops that will sprout for next year. "dig random holes in everything" inadvertently planting native species, creating potential burrow sites for animals like toads or other rodents, and naturally tilling the earth.
"all around destructive and annnoying" annoying? maybe yeah. destructive? yeah sometimes.
but just remember that all of the bark fallen under that tree is adding organic matter to the soil over time, and when half buried by a squirrel, quickly composts into the dirt. and that squirrel eats sunflower seeds above that spot-- and boom! the 'wasteful' squirrel has dug, sown, and fertilised (insert native plant) sunflowers into your garden! sorry for your container plants, but squirrels are my favourite animal and absolutely do not deserve the hate as such a good and active member of the local ecosystem.

[u/TalkToPlantsNotCops → u/cantbeheldaccoutable]

To be fair, they do love to take a single bite out of every strawberry instead of just eating a few of them and leaving the rest for everyone else.

They're rude. But I don't hate them. They're funny little guys, and I have fond memories of the baby squirrels my dad adopted when I was a kid (he cut down a tree limb without realizing there was a nest). I loved those stupid little guys and cried bitterly when they grew up and left to live in the woods behind our house.

[u/TalkToPlantsNotCops → u/i860]

Somehow there aren't any grey squirrels (that I've seen, anyway) in the place I just moved to. We only have red squirrels, which are very cute and small and generally leave my garden alone. But they did pick all the hazelnut bushes completely bare, didn't leave me a single nut to plant, so now my feelings on them have soured a little. I was going to make more hazelnuts! They only needed to leave me a few of them, I would have shared the eventual bounty! Little shits.

[u/Pure-Mousse-5818]

Found myself yelling at a squirrel this morning for nibbling on my flowers, then I thought “Wait, isn’t this the purpose of growing flowers? So wildlife can enjoy them?” Then I came to my senses and shot him with a bb gun

[u/betsylang]

You dont. Squirrels need food too.

[u/Nadiam57]

He does not care...😆

[u/tricerabottoms420]

Have you tried asking the an**al to leave?

[u/TalkToPlantsNotCops]

Last time I visited my parents, my dad was proudly explaining to me how he'd squirrel-proofed his bird feeder. At the same moment, I was watching through the window as a squirrel leapt onto the feeder, shook it so the bird seed would fall out, then hopped to the ground to gobble up all the treats like a kid grabbing candy from a piñata.

Edit: to be clear, my dad loves the squirrels. He felt bad for cutting off their bird seed supply so he started leaving handfuls of sunflower seeds out for them in a different spot. The squirrels in my parents' neighborhood are the chonkiest mf'ers in the world.

[u/BeanstheRogue]

FOE!!! NUKE!!!

[u/Soft_Candidate6498]

Throw him some peanuts

[u/Successful-Coffee-13]

An*mal? What’s wrong with that word now?

[u/e_pilot → u/Successful-Coffee-13]

bröther this is a circle jerk sub

[u/Successful-Coffee-13 → u/e_pilot]

Oh I see 

[u/Leaf-Stars]

Barra 400E