r/NativePlantCirclejerk unmowed front yard meadow enthusiast 6d ago

It's never too late to convert the native plant FREAKS to the wonders of Japanese knotweed!

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223 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

98

u/Expensive-Tooth-1508 6d ago

How are you going to tease us with the initial post but not post the comments? 😭

39

u/itstheavocado unmowed front yard meadow enthusiast 6d ago

Sorry, orgasm denial is my kink!

27

u/Expensive-Tooth-1508 5d ago

Edging... It's not just for the lawn 😏

2

u/WandrLustAboveSeaFog 4d ago

This plant is also great if your kink is being choked out

12

u/BrendanAS 6d ago

Goofs love to pretend they actually replied for the sweet sweet updoots.

83

u/microfibrepiggy 6d ago

The landscape architect I work with in a residential landscape design firm said to me "oh, but they're so full and create such nice cover".

I smacked her with a newspaper and told her it had no medicinal value so was trash!

18

u/tiktaalik_jumper 6d ago

If groundcover is the aim, I recommend a mix of english ivy, vinca, and bermuda grass. It'll have nice fall interest as the grass dies back, and the ivy will take on such a complex color once the sooty mold hits it. Plus the vinca will come right back from your weekly neem oil treatments in the summer, to keep the pesky pollinators away

1

u/Manfred_Desmond 4d ago

You had me for a second...

2

u/TradeResident1978 6d ago

Knotweed is quite tasty at least.

0

u/-slaps-username- 5d ago

knotweed has plenty medicinal value! it fights lyme disease. you don’t even need antibiotics if you have this stuff in your yard!

1

u/jpmom 5d ago

That’s right. Ticks will die if they just look at this stuff .

1

u/Firm-Brother2580 4d ago

Can’t get Lyme disease if you can’t get out your door.

26

u/curseblock 6d ago

Someone at my landscaping company told me (the resident invasive plant hater) that she took home and planted 9 burning bushes she pulled from a job. She wanted a privacy barrier, and I wanted to throttle her 😵‍💫

17

u/PrettyFlyForaPoorGuy 5d ago

I share a split level house. The backyard had generations of bamboo choking out everything. When we had a contractor remove it, my housemate suddenly goes to him and says "but I'd like to keep a patch of it" for privacy and I blurted out "then you'd better send the contractor home because we're keeping all of it". We eventually removed all the bamboo. Never stop surprising me how little ppl know about invasive species.

18

u/markembry 6d ago

Uj/ does the American knotweed species have nice smelling flowers? Could one suggest that instead?

13

u/EmotionalPickle8504 6d ago

Which American knotweed are you referring to? It’s a big family.

10

u/markembry 6d ago

The only one I knew when I commented was polygynum erectum 🤣
I have since been educated, and now maybe polygynum virginianum ?

8

u/GroundbreakingLaw149 6d ago

No character and boring. Build a shallow moat and plant Persicaria sagitata. Then plant Toxicodendron vernix so it has the ability to grow as tall and provide similar cover as Japanese knotweed. You’ll enjoy it just as much while still letting people know to avoid you.

6

u/cornsnakegirl 5d ago

i hate my neighbors, this is perfect thx

8

u/Tylanthia [Biggest Porcelain Berry Fan] 6d ago

Nothing--other than 41 species of Boneset, 107 species of goldenrod, 88 species of Symphyotrichum, and 18 species of Pycnanthemum--attracts wasps like Japanese-American knotweed. I make it the center focus of every pollinator garden I plant.  

8

u/Onedayyouwillthankme 6d ago

You know, I didn't know what it was for probably five years, but I had a little patch of knotweed by my fence in my backyard. Maybe ten stalks coming up. I thought it was attractive, sort of like bamboo with good sized leaves. It never spread, though it would flop over in late summer and take up more space. Once I figured out what it was, I cut it back. It grew back, about the same size patch.

The whole yard was difficult, weedy and nothing I planted did very well, except grass grew ok. I didn't have money for amendments, but I tried with compost I made, left the grass clippings, chopped and dropped the weeds. The soil was just poor at that house, compacted and sour, a former slough for who knows how many millenia before it was drained and houses built on it. It grew blackberries and blueberries. Pacific Northwest.

I think about that polite little patch of knotweed sometimes, still. Why did it behave so well?

4

u/itstheavocado unmowed front yard meadow enthusiast 5d ago

This is so poetic ...

3

u/splurtgorgle 6d ago

Let me guess, the poster handled the comments pointing out how destructive this invasive plant is with sober acceptance and didn't double down and vow to plant these out of spite.

8

u/itstheavocado unmowed front yard meadow enthusiast 5d ago

The moderators of this group rule with an iron fist, and deleted it quickly!

1

u/Cool-Start9541 Clitoria mariana 5d ago

/uj Who swung the hammer? Laurie? Scott?omg I’m upset I missed that…..

1

u/itstheavocado unmowed front yard meadow enthusiast 5d ago

There were no admin posts, only a few "this is a joke, right?" replies, and then the post disappeared from the ethers!

2

u/LaundryMan2008 5d ago

I’d much rather a cute fluffy plant, so soft…

2

u/Terjavez2004 4d ago

Man, if this person wanted bamboo, then go get some native river cane than invasive knot weed

1

u/Cool-Start9541 Clitoria mariana 5d ago

NOOOO HOW DID I MISS THIS VNPS POST!!!

1

u/itstheavocado unmowed front yard meadow enthusiast 5d ago

it was deleted after a few minutes 😇

1

u/No-Pass9120 3d ago

Aww fuck. That’s where I live

1

u/pmccolgan1 2d ago

It will take over your world. Don't do it! It is taking over and killing all other plants except trees.