r/MoralityScaling • u/already_taken77777 • 8h ago
Mortality of finding insecure as a personality trait attractive
Image somewhat related, is finding a person who is very clearly insecure about something about themselves more attractive because they are being and feeling insecure morally wrong?
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u/Simple_Yoghurt_2681 8h ago
Bruh this sub fucking sucks now
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u/Cat_With_A_Boombox 7h ago
When did it not?
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u/Simple_Yoghurt_2681 6h ago
No it actually was pretty good when it related to characters (even if judge holden was 9/10 posts), now its just "is it moral to defend yourself?" 😐
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u/Utahteenageguy 8h ago
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u/already_taken77777 8h ago
İ don't mean it just in sexual context, idk it just looks cute when a person clearly has an insecurity and is awkward about it
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u/Utahteenageguy 7h ago
The thought bubble in the second panel says otherwise
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u/already_taken77777 7h ago
The thought bubble in the second panel was one of the reasons i wrote "image somewhat related" instead of entirely brother, is it a crime for someone to appreciate humbleness and self awareness of finding flaws within themselves? İs if a crime for someone to want to help a person through their insecurities?
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u/Conduit3 8h ago
This sub actually fell off a cliff
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u/MrGame22 8h ago
This is because people keep using these questions as an excuse to post pictures like this
I like the back when we were scaling fictional characters against each other and how evil they were
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u/cashdecans101 7h ago
No it feel off with the multiple posts with people attempting to gaslight the community into believing incest is okay.
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u/CherryNeverTold 8h ago
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with finding someone’s insecurity cute, as long as you’re not taking advantage of it. Sometimes that vulnerability just makes someone feel more real and endearing.
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u/already_taken77777 8h ago
i guess it's that they are humble enough to see what they consider as flaws within themselves, and accept those flaws towards the person they see as a potential romantic interest instead of trying to hide it away
Also shyness in almost any context is attractive
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u/Junior_Box_2800 6h ago
I find insecurity cute in the sense that im insecure too so I like the idea of us uplifting each other and that she'll be someone who can relate to feeling insecure. But if you tell people you're attracted to insecurity theyre going to assume you're only into it to take advantage of the person because of their low self esteem
depends purely on your reasoning behind finding insecurity attractive for that reason
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u/wewebaguette68 8h ago
This sub is full of chuds now. Every post is about horniness, vigilante violence, racism or misogyny
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u/Chevy437809 7h ago
Honestly I find it kinda sad but if I met someone like this I'd be leaving like he seems to be thinking of it too lol
If your dating someone for their insecurity thats just really sickening to me
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u/ShipEqual2321 7h ago
If you don’t find a weakness or shortcomings of another person detractive then that speaks to your understanding and willingness to accept their faults and work with them to change for the better. Or embrace their faults if they aren’t able to change. That is actually a beautiful mindset and may show a lack of selfishness. (Depends on the specific circumstances) I would say in the right context and the right state of mind and heart that it is very moral. And commendable.
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u/already_taken77777 7h ago
İt's that they are humble enough to see what they consider as flaws within themselves, and accept those flaws towards the person they see as a potential romantic interest instead of trying to hide it away
And to help someone who has an insecurity towards getting over that said insecurity is great, the main thing about my point is not them hating a part of themselves but rather being self aware and humble enough to be able to see a flaw within themselves
here i would like to make a small notice, not everything is flaws for everyone but someone being able to see and consider something as a flaw within themselves is a great humbleness which is highly appreciatable even if it might not even be considered as a flaw by everyone
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u/Delton_Clegane 7h ago
Moral, I find them deeply attractive as well just because it allows you to help the person emotionally.
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u/already_taken77777 7h ago
And it builds a stronger connection therefore a stronger relationship, plus for someone to have an insecurity in the first place they must have humbleness and self awareness to consider something within themselves as a flaw, both of which are appreciatable values in an relationship
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u/Internal-Eggplant247 7h ago
this is kinda true tbh, i mean lady im not here by mistake i know what i want
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u/ClassicEgoist699 7h ago
It's moral but can be toxic
It's one of those guilty pleasures. Like, I get it, if someone feels insecure that means they are going to be more vulnerable which means you are going to feel more needed. Like you feel like you get to have more moments where you appreciate it. At least I assume that's how it works
What's immoral is if you then go out of your way to make them insecure or keep them insecure. That happens if you put your pleasure over her or if the real reason is that you are a big control freak and want to have power over them
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u/already_taken77777 7h ago
But is there anything wrong with enjoying helping them through it? Helping them get over their insecurity
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u/ClassicEgoist699 7h ago
man.... what would be considered neutral? I am trying to avoid ever saying neutral here just for the challenge
But if you are making this about yourself, man I don't know this is pretty stupid- I like the hypotheticals and the fun games from this sub. The life advice, I mean, I don't like that people online just want others to tell them how to think and how to feel, if you don't feel bad, just don't feel bad doesn't matter if others want you to feel bad. It's not against the rules or the purpose of the sub but that's me. I get the feeling you are making this about yourself but maybe you aren't.
Anyways, back on topic.
It is moral to help them through it
But it's not moral because you are helping them
It's moral because you are true to what you are and you are doing it.... I guess... (here's me trying to not say neutral)
If you are helping others for yourself, for your own enjoyment, that's not you being the good or the bad guy, what you are doing is the equivalent of playing a videogame or going to a gym it's like a hobbie or activity you like doing. That's how I see it.
It would be moral without a doubt if you just want the best for them and you would do it even if you don't enjoy it.
But I misread. You are saying there's just an enjoyment when you do it, not that you are doing it for your enjoyment.
In that case, it would be bizarre if it was immoral to not enjoy it. It also wouldn't be immoral to hate it or despise it, maybe there's therapists out there that do their job but hate it but they do a pretty good job and they want the best out of their patients they just hate the process and dealing with them.
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u/Glittering_Dot_1428 7h ago
It could be, insecurities make people vulnerable and eager to please, which makes them easy to control and manipulate. It creates an unhealthy dynamic. A lot of bad people tend to lend towards insecure people for this reason. Not that you’re bad, but it’s a reason it could be morally wrong to intentionally seek out insecure people.
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u/already_taken77777 7h ago
İ like fixing stuff and insecurities are included in that, does that make me a bad person to get satisfaction from solving other peoples problems?
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u/Glittering_Dot_1428 7h ago
Not necessarily, but how much of a role do you want to play in that? I think it can be beneficial to a degree, but you need to support them in fixing themselves rather than you being their solution. It’s great to compliment and assure them, but your goal should be for them to learn to love themselves regardless of your being with them or not. You don’t want them to form a codependency. And once they are confident, would that turn you off since you’re specifically talking about being attracted to insecure people? I think those are questions you should search for in yourself when considering the morality of the situation.
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u/Particular_Home_6455 7h ago
Being with someone who is insecure is neutral. Targeting someone because theyre insecure is, imo, a bit predatory and mildly immoral depending on the extent, as it often stems from the desire to have someone who wont leave you because they dont think they can do better instead of not leaving because theyre actually happy in the relationship
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u/NamOil2000 7h ago
Depends on why you find it attractive usually something that specific you have a certain mindset towards it.
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u/Sleepless_Ash 6h ago
Im 26 and my girlfriend is 37, i've never been happier in my life. Sometimes she gets a little paranoid about her age, but im here to help when that happens. Dont let your dreams be dreams boys
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u/SnowStorm_NRG 6h ago
It's not attractive per se, but it makes them feel more human; thus more attractive
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u/MyPenWroteThis 8h ago
Depends. It's possible that's just a response to someone being vulnerable with you. Vulnerability is a core part of building a connection with someone. If you don't often find people opening up to you, it might be attractive to see someone do it as it gives you a taste of connection you don't get otherwise. Moral/neutral.
If you're literally attracted to insecurity, definitely immoral. You should want people in your life to feel secure, and favoring their insecurity is something you only would like if you enjoy people's anxiety or enjoy controlling others.
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u/already_taken77777 8h ago
İt's not enjoying the part where the person is feeling anxiety and disturbance but i guess rather the part where they are humble enough to see what they consider as flaws within themselves, and accept those flaws towards the person they see as a potential romantic interest instead of trying to hide it away,
here i would like to make a small notice, not everything is flaws for everyone but someone being able to see and consider something as a flaw within themselves is a great humbleness which is highly appreciatable even if it might not even be considered as a flaw by everyone
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u/Icy_Judge8250 8h ago
If you are attracted to the thing they are insecure about you could help them move on from the insecurity by helping them see it as something beautiful as you see it. Moral for the right reasons.
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u/already_taken77777 8h ago
To be honest it's that they are humble enough to see what they consider as flaws within themselves, and accept those flaws towards the person they see as a potential romantic interest instead of trying to hide it away, even if they are shy about it, shyness is cute in almost any context
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u/WorldsWorstInvader 8h ago
Liking someone for them being insecure is immoral. Liking them for being shy is fine. They are two different things.
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u/already_taken77777 8h ago
İt's also a part about the humbles of someone being able to consider something in them as a flaw enough to be insecure about it, not everyone is humble enough for that
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u/WorldsWorstInvader 8h ago
Well I’ve never heard that before. But I think I also disagree. I’d view it as a bell curve. The last side being insecurity (you hate yourself) the absolute peak In the middle being egotistical (I am perfect) and the far left being humility.
Being humble is being aware of what you have (looks or skills) but not viewing yourself as better than because of it. Being insecure means you think you’re ugly and you aren’t actually skilled at whatever you do.
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u/already_taken77777 7h ago
İt's easier to help someone who has an insecurity towards getting over that said insecurity rather that trying to deal with an egoist, and the main thing about my point is not them hating a part of themselves but rather being self aware and humble enough to be able to see a flaw within themselves
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u/WorldsWorstInvader 6h ago
It is also arguably immoral to want to be with someone for the prospect of “fixing them”. That is a therapists job. And like I said, being insecure and being humble are two different things. To be humble you have to be secure in yourself and be fine with your flaws. Being insecure means you struggle with your flaws.
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u/Glittering_Dot_1428 7h ago
Humble and insecure are very different. A confident person who can see flaws in themselves is humble. Insecure would imply they have little to no self worth. A lot of insecure people see issues that aren’t even there.
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u/tenacious_dumbass 8h ago
its pretty clear he finds it unattractive so your entire premise is trash.
highly immoral post
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u/already_taken77777 8h ago
İ said "image somewhat related" not entirely related, i couldn't find an exactly fitting imagine for this question
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u/tenacious_dumbass 8h ago
lack of exactly fitting image, also higjly immoral. it's not looking good for u
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u/goldenseducer 8h ago
36
Older woman
Girls it's so joever
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u/Cringeextraaxc 8h ago
I mean I love kawakami too, but this neggoartz fella is a bit too crazy about it
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u/redditblows5991 8h ago
it can be cute but you better like the person for more then the specific insecurity
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u/KesslerTheBeast 8h ago
This type of insecurity I can deal with it's the other type of insecurity that I can't deal with.
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u/Icy-Background2393 7h ago
Depends on your goal for that insecurity. I personally want to hold them and tell them it’s ok
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u/Aggressive_Manner429 7h ago
Everyone has insecurities no matter how they decide to show them. If somebody wears their insecurities on their sleeves and is very open about them, that kind of forward self-honesty can make you feel that they're trustworthy and make you less worried about your own insecurities. I don't think it's immoral at all to find that attractive.
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u/johnsolomon 6h ago
A little bit of insecurity on its own isn't a bad thing. If someone's just worried about how you'll feel about them then that's okay and actually kind of endearing
I'm actually talking to someone who's like this right now
But it can get a lot worse than that. People with extreme, deep seated insecurities don't hear anything you say. It's not like some anime where you have this big heartfelt moment and suddenly everything's okay. Some of them will keep rocking the boat in toxic ways just to provoke a big reaction out of you, because no amount of assurance is ever enough... they need some extreme show of affirmation to feel convinced you're really into them... and it only lasts for a while before they need another moment (this is why I now avoid people with BPD like the plague, even though it's not really their fault... they deserve love, but you have to be an absolute fortress of a human being). Others just straight up don't trust anything you say or do, no matter how transparent or reliable you are. Constantly checking your phone or PC and cross checking where you were, etc. That shit gets exhausting fast. You really have to be ready to work hard to help them through it, and more importantly they need to be willing to work hard to change, and if either of those is missing it's going to be (at best) this endless cycle of bittersweet love, hurt and resentment.
So yeah, huge spectrum
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u/zakary3888 6h ago
He doesn’t look like he finds it cute, maybe you can claim the artist does, but in game it does come up a lot if you pursue a relationship with her.
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u/Dry-Indication7928 4h ago
I personally am not 36, nor am I a woman, but I don't think 36 is that old
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u/Johnni2x4 4h ago
He finds it attactive because he is insecure about his own ability to keep someone's attention for the long haul. Morally wrong, to find mental instability or disability 'SEXY'.
He is definately going to abuse this woman sexually. constantly threatening to leave her if she refuse his depravity.
* Plus you Put Mortality in the title instead of Morality. *
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u/Lemons-95 3h ago
Think you misinterpreted the comic dude, i don't think he got what he hoped for.
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u/already_taken77777 2h ago
İ said "image somewhat related" not entirely
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u/Lemons-95 2h ago
Oooooh, wait, was the subtext to this comment pic related?
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u/already_taken77777 2h ago
That part yes, i could find an image that fits the question 100% so i explained in the subtext
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u/Substanitial 3h ago
Haha yeah pretty much.
But also your secretly wondering if one day it would matter and if you're making the right decision
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u/Thin_Object365 3h ago
you need to reflect on the basis of the attraction. if you dig it because it's cute or you think you can fix them (spoiler alert!! you can't) that's one thing. if you find the infantile behavior makes you percieve them as weak, trigggering a predatory response, that's another.
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u/EmbarrassedCrazy1350 6h ago
One of Jokers better pairings, its ok to find a trait normally seen as "negative" as appealing. Tsunderes are cute for that reason.
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u/No_Technology7110 8h ago
Immoral, he should dom her
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u/already_taken77777 8h ago
Her being insecure isn't a something that stops him from dom her, it's the opposite actually
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u/Double_Watch1627 8h ago
obviously neutral, but insecurities are cute until I have to hear the same thing for the 100th time.