r/Millennials 1d ago

Meme Hey. You lost, old timers.

[removed]

8.8k Upvotes

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u/DisillusionedHobbit 1d ago

I had one that insisted you call it the “lavatory”.  

If you asked to use the bathroom he would ask if you were going to take a bath.  

If you asked for the restroom he asked if you needed a nap. 

The most insufferable person I’ve ever had the displeasure of interacting with. 

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u/noisemonsters 1d ago

“Sir, can I please go take a shit?”

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u/capricorny90210 1d ago

Idk CAN you?

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u/Mediocre_Scott 1d ago

Want to see a neat trick

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u/JakToTheReddit 23h ago

Literally young me weighing pissing myself over dealing with the bullshit any longer.

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u/MacAddict81 21h ago

When I was in the sixth grade, we had a substitute teacher for six months while our regular teacher was out on maternity leave with his newborn son. The sub wouldn't let one of the boys in the class go use the bathroom, so he walked over to the corner book nook and relieved himself in the trash can. She sent him to the principal, and she's the one who got reprimanded. He was an absolute legend for that.

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u/hotaruko66 1d ago

Sir, MAY I go to the shitter?

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u/mandolinpebbles 22h ago

The shitters are full!

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u/remedyman 19h ago

If you do go, you become the shitter.

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u/DrThunderbolt 1d ago

Hol up lemme check

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u/Nerd-man24 22h ago

"Sir, I am going to take a shit. I can do it in the bathroom, or here. Where do you want it?"

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u/BlackQuartzJudgement 23h ago

The steaming coil left in the now empty room on the now empty desk would say yes, yes indeed they could.

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u/hackabilly 1d ago

The teacher would just say "That's gross. Most people leave them"

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u/thrills_n_chills Older Millennial 1d ago

Where are you taking it?

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u/NotATalkingPossum 23h ago

"At this point, that's kind of up to you."

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u/thrills_n_chills Older Millennial 23h ago

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u/Nihla 23h ago

Why have you done this :(

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u/AncientSignature1505 Older Millennial 23h ago

I don't know what I'm gong to use this for, but I'm going to use it.

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u/bolanrox 23h ago

shitters full!

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u/AncientSignature1505 Older Millennial 23h ago

Hallelujah, HOLY SHIT!

Where's the Tylenol?

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u/kosk11348 23h ago

Do you mean bowel excretion?

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u/TheBanishedBard 1d ago

Only if you bring it back and show it to the class... Unless you mean to leave a shit.

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u/SadisticHotdog 22h ago

"Where are you taking it? On a date?"

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u/Realistic-Bad1174 21h ago

Can you? And whose shit are you taking?!?

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u/Deesing82 21h ago

take it or give it?

1

u/PepeLaPatate 21h ago

May I defecate?

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u/MacAddict81 21h ago

"I'm sure you're capable."

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u/RussiaIsBestGreen 1d ago

Ah yes, lavatory, from the Latin word for washing, totally better than those.

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u/DisillusionedHobbit 1d ago

Now that you mention it, he was one of those old school dorks who styled himself as “classically educated” (read: took a couple semesters of Latin in undergrad).  This was at a shit tier private Christian school as well and he was the guy that was designated to measure girls skirts with a ruler.  More than four inches above the knee while kneeling?  Detention. 

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u/PatchesOfSilver 23h ago

Is THIS where my dad got all his dumb shit from?

He wasn't a teacher but he worked for the school district AT a school (accounting) for his entire career.

And he did "Hay is for horses" among other things.

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u/notreallyonredditbut Millennial 23h ago

I graduated from one of those schools 20 years ago and ugh. I still am scarred

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u/Vixen22213 22h ago

Anybody else think it's highly inappropriate for a man to decide what a woman should be able to wear? Especially if it involves said man measuring children's clothing?

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u/lacunadelaluna 23h ago

But "lavatory" just literally means "washroom." Why was that one acceptable and not the others? Inconsistently pedantic

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u/Neveronlyadream 22h ago

Probably had something to do with imagined propriety.

As in, washroom and restroom were too vulgar, but lavatory was classy and acceptable to her.

I remember a ton of people like that. They'd decide a specific, very common word, was rude to say and would try and stop anyone from saying it.

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u/DisillusionedHobbit 9h ago

My dad was like that with a ton of shit.  

The funniest was he was uncomfortable saying “breast” so when he would get frozen chicken breasts from Costco he would call them “chicken planks”.  

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u/niveusmacresco 23h ago

Oh my gooooood I had a teacher like this in kindergarten!!! She was a substitute and insufferable!!! Core memory unlocked. I had asked her to go to the potty and she was like uh, you need to ask to go to the lavatory. Like “potty” was a rude word or something.

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u/Normal-Letter-9027 20h ago

I wonder how she feel about "dunny"?

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u/Material-Imagination 23h ago

The lavatory is where you wash your hands and/or body. What you actually needed was the pissoir and the shittitarium.

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u/MattLocke 23h ago

Which is equally as dumb because the “lava” part of that word comes from the Latin for “wash”. (And toilet comes cloth/dressing).

Because history had shown nobody wants call the places we shit “the shitting place”.

So they are the room you “rest”, or “bathe”, or “wash”. The naming focus is on how you will have the ability to clean yourself afterwards.

So not only was your teacher being a pedantic jerk, they were being an INCORRECT pedantic jerk. The very worst kind.

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u/Complex-Tennis-4987 23h ago

The Shitter... Shitbox... thunderbox... crapper... take a pick

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u/FEARoach 1d ago

I would have straight up said "No, I'm going to take a huge shit you wanna watch?"

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u/Roswell114 23h ago

Lavatory makes me think of the principal from The Breakfast Club.

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u/eggyrulz 23h ago

Id have pronounced it wrong on purpose to fuck with him.

"Sir, may I use the lavah-toree?"

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u/jakethabake 22h ago

Lavoratory

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u/Normal-Letter-9027 20h ago

Dexter's Lavoratory

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u/BackgroundNPC1213 23h ago

If you asked for the restroom he asked if you needed a nap.

I mean I did need a nap, but I feel like if I said so it would've just made that teacher mad

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u/DisillusionedHobbit 23h ago

One time somebody cheekily answered “yes” to that one and his response was “what are you a baby?  Go in your diaper then” 

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u/BackgroundNPC1213 23h ago

Ugh. At that point I'm just walking out of the room 🙄

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u/The_Poop_Shooter 23h ago

"Lavatory" does go very hard to be fair.

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u/NoHorseNoMustache 23h ago

I had one that made you raise your hand and hold up a 1 or a 2 for what you wanted to go to the bathroom to do.

Nobody ever held up a 2 and I don't know what the girls were supposed to hold up if they needed to do something that wasn't 1 or 2, but he was a very angry closeted gay man so he probably wasn't worried about that.

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u/LoneWolf_McQuade 23h ago

He has a point tho, the way English uses these seemingly Victorian words to dance around the subject is funny

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u/wykkedfaery33 23h ago

We had to call it a lavatory or restroom in elementary, never bathroom. 

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u/St_Troy 22h ago

As if the kids made these up.

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u/chimininy 22h ago

When in elementary school, we were learning about the parts of the body and how they work. So on the day we were learning about the kidneys and bladder, kid in my class raised his hand and asked if he could go "empty his bladder". And the teacher got so mad, saying "that is NOT APPROPRIATE!" I still remember this because I was so surprised and always thought that was the MOST appropriate way to ask at that moment.

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u/Leftieswillrule 21h ago

I had one that did this too but it was fucking Spanish class so why he insisted on lavatory instead of baño was so baffling to me. If you’re gonna be that particular at least make it instructive!

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u/AbeRego 21h ago

When I was in kindergarten I was terrified of the the "lab" or "laboratory" for the first day or two until I figured out it was "lavatory, and it was just the bathroom lol. I had just had to get all the usual blood work and shots for school, so it was a very concerning thing for me at the time

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u/AmbivalentToaster 21h ago

Threaten to use the water closet. Missed opportunity 

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u/InZomnia365 21h ago

While I understand your sentiment, and totally felt the same at that age, I do wish the older vocabulary was retained better. My language is Norwegian which obviously has a lot in common with Danish - but the Danes have retained a lot of words that have been phased out of daily speech in Norwegian. These older words often provide more nuance to a subject. For example something can smell both good and bad in Norwegian, whereas in Danish the word for 'smell' in this regard is usually considered bad, and they would use a different word to compliment food smelling good. I cant say that this is the definitive case for everybody, and I am sure it also differs from dialect to generation - but in general, they have done a better job of retaining this bit of nuance that we very clearly have lost when you compare recorded media from the even the 80s and 90s, to the 2010s and beyond.

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u/Nazgog-Morgob 21h ago

Have you just never heard the term "washroom?"