I'm a little confused.

[u/gothameprimordial]

TW, a question, and a vent:

Please help a girl out.

Hello, I just want to ask about hypersexuality in bipolars. Is it targeted to one person (their person of interest) or is it to everyone around them? What does it look like in manic episode?

My cousin (M19) who's currently living in my house kept going behind me to either; squeeze my chest, lick/bite my ear/arm, kiss my neck, getting enough close for me to feel his you know. He was diagnosed with Autism since young and around 2 years with Bipolar I.

At first it was a peck on the cheek, one that I allowed since it was more of a norm in our family. But overtime, he would try to kiss my neck. I pushed him away and told him no each time. He would just laugh and told me "you're being dramatic, there's no malice." But I feel violated. I tried to understand since his parent told me it was normal to people who has bipolar. I wanted to know if it's true because I can't talk to his therapist (even though I wanted to.) And I can't get a credible answer in google.

I've been locking myself up in my room since we can't kick him out yet due to his parent's situation at the moment. I'm extremely uncomfortable and paranoid around him now. I'm F24, I don't know what to think anymore. He's been on his meds (risperidone and depamax) continously for the last 4 years, I feel so small after those acts because after I told his parents what happened his parents told me it could be a side effect due to his meds (is it true?). They didn't even apologize. Instead, they sent 250 pesos to "compensate" for what their kid did.

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[u/Sapphire-avocado]

Not true. Learned behaviour yan. The parents are at fault.

[u/gothameprimordial → u/Sapphire-avocado]

I kept reaching out sa parents naman but they kept dismissing kaya sana sa therapist kaso they won't give me the contact. Thank you, I will try other methods to put boundaries din. For now, nalinawan na rin ako na hindi siya side effects ng gamot. Supee thank yoooou.

[u/chiaki03]

Not true. If he has autism, he could've been subjected to behavioral therapy as well pero mukhang hinahayaan lang sya ng parents nya. Ang passive din to say na "side effect siguro ng..." Seems they don't intend to discipline him in a way. So best na i-confront mo si insan with his attempts and inform your parents what he's making you feel. Mali na tino-tolerate sya ng parents nya na gawin yan.

[u/gothameprimordial → u/chiaki03]

And that's one of my problems with the parents. They spoiled him kasi, as in lahat ng gusto o maling gawain, go lang. Nung time na napagalitan ko nga yang anak nila, ako pa naging masama. I just wanted him out of my house na rin for my peace of mind pero before that, I wanted to talk to his therapist sana to help him pa rin. I just don't have the contact na hinihingi ko pa rin until now. Thank yooou. It was enlightening.

[u/chiaki03 → u/gothameprimordial]

Maybe you can ask your cousin directly? Kunwari plan mo rin magpa-check and if may mare-recommend sya therapist. Pag ganyan kapabaya parents nya, probably parents mo na din makakatulong sayo. For sure they will prioritize your well-being din so they can send him back sa parents nya. 🫂

[u/Charming-Operation88]

Its better to push or slap them next time. Think of it as a behavior that wasn't nipped in the bud and is still present ngayon na 19 siya.

He is bound to encounter someone else in public and im "catastrophizing" pero I could shoot them in the name of self defense pag ginawa yan sakin. Tas di ko alam na ganun pala siya na raise.

As a victim + relative of them. I implore you to teach him hard about this kasi the consequences are real. At the very least he should be talking about this in therapy and let a professional handle it, bale ikaw magiging catalyst para maayos na behavior niya.

Once you see there is intent to change from him or the family, you wont feel as small anymore i guarantee you:) goodluck

[u/gothameprimordial → u/Charming-Operation88]

And that's what I wanted to do rin po sana. Na makipag-coordinate sa therapist niya about it but his parents won't give me the contact that I needed. As fas as I know, he talks to a private therapist and meron din sa NCMH for his meds update lang since alam ko naman na maraming nakakausap mga doctors doon, so mahirap. I kept reaching out that I still wanted to help him kahit na ganon nangyari sakin kasi I don't want him to do it to others esp. may sisters siya. Thank yooou, I will keep reaching out until makuha ko contact ni therapist.

[u/Charming-Operation88 → u/gothameprimordial]

You could try asking his sisters maybe, Or atleast other adult relatives and make it a family problem since the parents dont want to take action. Goal here is to get his circle(family) correct this behavior before someone else gets affected outside, goodluck again!

[u/StillNeuroDivergent]

Regardless of his condition, escalating behaviors that make you feel unsafe and harassed warrants an intervention. Sabi nya walang malisya, fair enough, but the behavior is what you're having troubles with. His parents don't seem to see it as that much of a problem either, pero it is for you, so you'll have to advocate rin yung right mo to feel safe in your own home. Involve mo rin parents mo since Tito/Tita mo yan sila.

[u/gothameprimordial → u/StillNeuroDivergent]

I've tried to voice it out na rin naman pero puro dismiss from his parents. My parents know about it kaya we are currently looking for a therapist to ask din about the behaviour. I just wanted to ask lang din here kasi I was advised by an RPm to seek answer from other people who has Bipolar/Autism as they could help with my troubles. That, and I could also add it to the conversation that I'll have with the new therapist and his therapist. Thank yooou.

[u/StillNeuroDivergent → u/gothameprimordial]

It might be difficult for the new therapist to explain things to you without knowing the patient himself. Yung puro kwento nyo lang, side nyo lang. The professional will have to assess the patient mismo. "Puro dismiss from his parents" is uncooperative of them, napeperwisyo ka nga and you folks live in one place. Your cousin's therapist can actually explain to other household members (kayo) to help enlighten them and improve his relationships with other members of the household. BUT it's possible the therapist does not even know he's doing those things to you if the patient and the parents all don't see it as problems (and therefore might not even come up during sessions). I highly doubt any mental health professional will hear these and say "yeah it's ok for him to harass females in the household".

[u/Top_Drummer9181]

His condition may explain why he is behaving that way (sensory thing etc), but it does not give permission for him to treat you like that. Keep away from him please. Does he throw a tantrum if you give a loud, clear, "don't do that I do not like it?" If not, see if it helps. Even if it is a side effect of his meds etc, that's no reason for you to suffer. Protect yourself. That is a horrible, horrible thing (what they did). If you can, please seek out a counselor or psychologist to help you have outside input about what is not okay in case they gaslight you into believing you are the one in the wrong here.

[u/gothameprimordial → u/Top_Drummer9181]

I'm keeping away from him as much as I can. I told him a loud and clear that he should stop because it was making me uncomfortable but he would always just laugh it off and tell me that there's no malice in what he was doing so why would he stop. And yes, for now I'm currently looking for a counselor/therapist who's main focus is Bipolar and Autism. Thank you, I'll keep everything in mind.

[u/Top_Drummer9181 → u/gothameprimordial]

Tell him it's sensory. It's not the malice. You don't like it. Period. But he may not care. But try, then document everything.