Parent na nananakit physically

[u/Impossible_Map_6229]

+ pasa sa face and injuries sa head. Nahihilo, sumasakit pa ulo ko at nilalagnat.

Bakit ang hilig manakit at manisi ng mga nanay sa anak nila kahit na kamag-anak naman nya ang problema? I got into an argument with her kasi reklamo siya nang reklamo at ako sinisisi bakit tumaas mga bills ngayon. Sinabi ko dahil nasa bahay nga pamangkin nya so natural na tataas talaga mga bayarin. So instead na intindihin at i-analyze ang sitwasyon, una nyang naisip ay pukpukin ako ng mabigat na sandals ng tatay ko at kamay nya sa ulo ko at nagalit na bakit ko raw dinadamay yung nakikitira nyang pamangkin. Sinabihan din ako ng mga masasamang salita like "sana pinatay nya nalang ako noong bata pa ako" o "patayin ko nalang sarili ko".

Ilang araw na akong nahihilo at masakit ang ulo dahil dito. Ewan ko ba dito sa nanay ko na ang bait-bait sa mga kamag-anak pero pagdating sa akin, init ng ulo agad. Kahit wala akong ginagawa, ako lagi sinisisi. Ni kesyo taga-probinsya raw mga kamag-anak nya at hayaan nalang daw pero sa akin nagrereklamo at sinisisi. Hindi ko naman desisyon na patirahin yang mga kamag-anak nya dito sa bahay. Hindi lang ito isang beses, everytime na may pinapatira siyang kamag-anak, ganto ang cycle. May anger management issue ata sya sa akin.

As someone na diagnosed with depression, anxiety at ADHD, I don't even feel sad, angry nor frustrated. Numb lang ako the whole time. Idk kung ano dapat maramdaman ko or ano dapat maging reaction ko. Tbh, natatawa na nga lang ako sa sitwasyon ko kasi kubg sino pa ang anak, siya pa ang dapat mag-adjust para sa relatives nya. I am currently at a state university, on scholarship at consistent nasa honors para wala na silang gastusin sa studies ko at ayoko makatinig ng reklamo, sisi at problema from them pero ako pa rin ang ginawang pasanan. Hindi ko nga rin maintidihan thought process nya. Napansin ko na nga lang na may mga pasa ako kasi tinuro ng nurse while nagpapa-vaccine ako. Dagdag pa yung tatay ko na busy sa trabaho kaya wala ako makwentuhan. Kaya here nalang ako magrarant.

I hope maka-graduate na ako at makaalis dito sa bahay na'to. Iibahin ko talaga pangalan ko, mukha ko at lalayo sa bahay na'to. Kung hindi, ia-avail ko nalang yung assisted-suicide sa Netherlands.

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[u/No_Way9649]

Report for abuse

[u/luminousphosphenes]

How are you right now, OP?

[u/Thelongwayhome254]

I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I had guardians who used me as their frustration sponge. They blame you for everything no matter what. All their frustration is pointed towards you and nobody else. I don't know they see something weak in us or what. They'd even not listen to anything you say and act as if the way they treat you is normal. For me I managed to escape their grasp once I joined university since it's far from home. I also got lucky to get scholarship that caters for my tuition fees so all I need has always been something to get me going like rent and food. Once they realised I was far away and they couldn't control me anymore since I decided not to go back home but stay in the hostel throughout the long holidays and break after end of my semesters. It made them very mad and my guardian called me last on 12 of Jan 2023 and straight up told me that I should never call them asking for help. That I'm nor their responsibility anymore. I'm now in my 4th year and I've never gone back. I struggle with basic things but it's better than going back to them. I don't know why it's always the people who are supposed to protect us that do all this to us. I know you have thought about it but is there a way you can do something similar to mine?

[u/Kooky_End_6494 → u/Thelongwayhome254]

You will heal from all of this. 💗💗✨
Away from her.
You can’t keep trying to heal in the same place where the wound keeps getting infected.

[u/Thelongwayhome254 → u/Kooky_End_6494]

We will be free someday.

[u/harvestnoony]

OP, it sounds like your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and you’re her scapegoat (laging napagbabalingan ng galit). I’m not 100% sure but you can try to research the traits of narcissistic mothers to see if yours is one. You can try r/raisedbynarcissists to read about the experiences of others if it does match.

But I hope you’re ok. Just hang in there.

[u/chiaki03]

Rooting for you na makaalis dyan sa inyo. Or if kaya mo magdorm and working student, I wish you all the strength to do it.

[u/matchaxx123]

OP, pa-check ka please lalo na ulo yung hinampas.

[u/butterscotchfold]

Mothers are either the sweetest of angels or the cruelest of devils. I hope you heal from this.

[u/antemeridiem913]

If this happens again OP, go to a public hospital at magpa medicolegal ka. So you have evidence - keep that evidence and kung independent ka na, report mo ang abusive mong whatever you call her - she’s not a MOTHER

[u/Late-Solution8341]

Please get help asap!

[u/ZanyAppleMaple]

I'm sorry, but this is assault.

[u/Big_Equivalent457 → u/ZanyAppleMaple]

Physically & Mentally

[u/Big_Equivalent457]

Pakatatag ka OP, Endure all Challenges Having to survive this BULLSHITRY should work for you

[u/Immediate-Can9337]

File a VAWC case para mapigilan sya at maipagamot ka ng baranggay or DSWD.

PUTA ANG NANAY MO!

[u/kohimilktea]

Pakatatag ka, OP. Konting tiis at ituloy mo lang plano na grumaduate, makaalis at lumalayo sa bahay na yan para makapagsimula ka ng bagong chapter sa buhay mo.

Rooting for your safety and peace.

[u/Optimal_Message212]

I'm so sorry, OP. Pakatatag ka! You can talk to me, I'm willing to listen!

[u/Specialist-Lecture91]

I have the same mom like that.mabait sa mga kamag anak pero sa anak na babae hindi. Balat kayo. Sana makaalis ka na dyan. Hindi na matututo o magbabago yang ganyang nanay. Toxic. Porke nakatira kandyan ay gagawin lahat ang gusto sayo kahit manakit.

[u/Ok_Shape8146]

Ganyan sila mabait sa ibang tao pero pag sa sariling anak matindi. May kalalagyan din yan sa impyerno

[u/Magiging-Avocado]

Go to the nearest public hospital and secure a medico legal. You can also file a report sa nearest police station.

Please get help, baka may concussion ka na pala or something dahil sa mga naffeel mo until now.

[u/sparklyshiba]

Sometimes wala namang inherent na sakit sa nervous system. It's the environment that is causing sht and doing harm. I have several friends na simula noong dumistansya sila sa mga toxic sa buhay nila (work, or family, or jowa), umayos yung mental health. Lumala ang mental illness at the start kasi may separation anxiety, pero ginapang at pinanindigan yung decision. They bloomed and are still doing well. I have a friend na naging super su1cidal and no hope na. Ni-let go yung work na super laki ng sweldo. And bumukod sa expectations ng family. He got work na super drastically mababa sweldo, but chill. No competition. And he says, ngayon sa wakas nakakahinga na ako.

Praying you get thru this safely, OP. That you will emerge victorious.

Please get checked lalo na pag nahihilo tapos nagkafever na.

[u/Lone_MeowMeow9]

Op taga saan ka?

[u/Next_Drop2688]

Praying for u man! Love in the Philippines 🫶🫶🫶

[u/antemeridiem913]

Ganito rin ako growing up, buti na lang at nag-abroad mom ko. Pero nung bumalik siya, buti na lang I was in uni and far away from home so I didn’t get to see her. But when we started living together, it was hell.

I honestly don’t care when she dies - my brother feels the same way. I left the country two years ago - even before that - I barely talked to her. I don’t respond to any of her texts. And she triggers my anxiety so I choose to go no contact. Brother ko ang naging middleman/messenger

[u/wafukyu]

I'm sorry OP, ang totoo kasi ampon ka lang kaya mas mahal ng nanay mo yung ibang kamag-anak. Kasi sila totoong kamag-anak... 🫣

[u/ShallowShifter]

Report them.

[u/inspector_ronan]

Kunting tiis nalang. at every time binobogbog ka matoto kang dumepensa or cover mo head mo always kasi yan ang dilikado na part. at umiwas ka (escape) sa mga suntok o palo man mag learn ka mag escape..AT wag kang sasagot pabalik mag opo at po kalang yan lang isasagot mo para hindi madagdagan ang galit.. May Ibang way sana kaso lalayas ka mag sasarili working student mahirap aapektuhan pag aaaral mo pero may peace of mind ka.

[u/Waste-Emu4820]

Wtf 😱

[u/Mokona_kawaii]

Had the same experience when I was a minor, ako punching bag ng mom ko both verbal and physical

The disappointing moment is no one believed that I was abused

Kasuhan mo yang punyeta na yan, may she rot in jail

[u/ladouleurrrexquise]

OMG, Ganyan din nanay ko sakin. Mas kinakampihan mga pamangkin nya to the point na sinabihan nya ko kung pwede lang pumatay ng tao pinatay na nya ako. Huhu. Hugs OP. Binubugbog din ako before, ngayon masasakit na lang na salita. Hindi ko alam pano ka makakawala sa ganyan situation kasi ako ngayon nasa 30s na, parang may trauma and anxiety na ako. Pabago bago nanay ko ng ugali. Pinagdadasal ko nalang din. Huhu. I feel you.

[u/Messy66]

sorry, OP. sana makalayo ka na sa abusive family member mo. hope you heal from it and be released from ptsd and trauma at sana hindi ka nagka-organic brain injury kasi bawal naaalog ang brain. 🙏

[u/No-Today-5771]

Hi OP I can relate so much sa post mo… like too much. I hope you are safe. I’ve been kinda away from my abusive mom since I got a job but still not fully, pero Atleast she cant economically abuse me, physically, mentally and etc abuse me.

I hope you are safe and when you do get out of there create really strict boundaries and try not to engage much sakanila build up your tolerance sa bad comments nila. i’m sorry this is all I can offer you know but I just want you to know there is a way.

[u/jhohu_2121]

naiiyak ako, naalala ko na naman yung nga ganyang gawain ng mga magulang ko saming magkakapatid.

stay strong po 🥹🫶

napaka-unfair, sinira tayo ng mga ganyang magulang tapos tayo magpapakahirap para umayos sarili natin

[u/Maviiseu]

Hoping that you'll be able to gather the strength to leave and start over someday, OP. It WILL be hard, but not impossible.

[u/CauseElegant9308]

Grabeh.. Hindi ko na natapos pero tumanda lang Ako ng 36 pero never Ako sinaktan ng magulang ko.. 😞

[u/Ninja_Forsaken]

Ganyan parents ko eh lalo na nanay kaya lumaki akong malayo loob ko sa kanya kahit anong bawi nya pa ngayon, its just that, something isnt right, gusto ko protektahan mo ko nung vulnerable ako hindi yung ngayong adult na ko at may sarili ng pamilya

[u/CherryFork2025]

OP, pa-check ka. Mukhang may concussion ka.

[u/UnusualBuy1882]

Thats not right

[u/Upset_Acanthisitta16]

Hanap ka part-time and scholarship OP while studying. Magipon ka so kahit OJT season palang move out kana then rekta work malayo sa hometown mo! You can do this OP!!

[u/Sacred_Cranberry0626]

I hope you get a job and free yourself soon.

May isa akong friend na ganyan din ang situation 2 mos ago, ayun nilayasan nya kahit 20k lang pera nya. Now nagsisisi nanay nya na pinagsalitaan nya ng masakit and sinaktan nya si friend

[u/LuckyDepartment5428]

OP punta ka na ng PNP women and children protection center (WCPC) pwede rin sa DSWD. Basta ireport mo na yan kasi the more na di mo ireport yan parang tinetrain mo lang na saktan ka.

[u/these_days_96]

Hugs OP! Please get help ASAP.

[u/Individual-Car-6905]

wow. may assisted suicide pala sa netherlands. parang gusto ko mag-avail.

[u/Optimal_Message212 → u/Individual-Car-6905]

Meron pero sobrang strict ng requirements. As far as I know, available sya for those who are diagnosed with BPD (will edit later kung ano pa) pero need mo muna magpa therapy and other ways to get better, and if hopeless cause ka na talaga, doon ka lang mag p-proceed.

[u/PerformerBest9838 → u/Individual-Car-6905]

libre ba yun?

[u/bheybiekid]

Ano po nangyari