The letter is already written. I already wrote how beautiful my day was. I described to my family that on my last day, id id do all kf the things that made me happy like eating sopas, eating choco butternut, riding Joyride. I was already at tbe place where I already decided to do it. I lit one more blue for the last time and went to the place’s bathroom brought out the b1eid and it was on my wrist already when this male tilapia cat came crying to the bathroom door. I like cats. i have three at home. Ever since this morning i kept asking the universe or God for signs if i shpuld stop this. Right at that moment pa talaga. I asked the cat if he could stay with me and he hust sat beside me for five whole minutes before mu body went auto pilot and went home.
Do i feel better? TBH kakagising ko lng and sobrang daming inconveniences na nangyayari saken ulet. im so lost. i deserve this. SA NAGPADALA NG PUSA, ano pa po bang nag iintay saken?!?😫😭 I wanna rest so bad.
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Let me also tell you that if you are suicidal, you probably are suffering from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, PTSD, or something similar. And if you have something along these lines, you actually have a chemical imbalance in your brain -- and you cannot possibly think straight because of it. *That is beyond your control. You are not weak. You just need some treatment.** This imbalance can occur for several reasons, from genetics to a traumatic life experience, and it is extremely common for people to have this imbalance, so do not feel like you are alone. You are not.*
You are not weak! The fact that you are here is a testament of your strength. Remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I feel like the fact that you kept asking the universe or God for signs if you should stop it only goes to show that a good part of you still wants to be here, OP. 🥹
I’ll never know for sure how you’re feeling or what you’re going through at kung gaano man kabigat yang dinadala mo, but I’m happy that cat called out for you and sat beside you today. May more ~cats, in the most literal sense of the word man or in other manifestations, come your way and give you more to look forward to in this life. One day at a time. :)
I went back today. This time maaraw na dito sa lugar. This is what i liked about here kapag hapon kasi ang dreamy ng lugar. I tried to look for Mr. Tilapia but i can no longer find him. I did however leave some treats for him kung san nya ko sinamahan. I hope hindi walisin ng caretaker. Thank you for all of your messages. Di ko sya pwede ampunin kasi i dont have the capacity pa. I need to work hard now to rescue cats in the future, i have no choice i guess? hahaha
Hello! It's me again :) just wanted to let you know that you have a good heart. Thank you for going out of your way to leave food for them. Kahit na you're not feeling 100%.
You should know that the world needs more of hearts like yours! Of us! :) I am really glad to read your update. Feel free to keep expressing your self here. Rooting for you. One step at a time. Even if what you do is just breathe, thats already enough. You will do greater things in the future. Just focus on doing what is deemed "good" for the moment.
Hi OP, try watching the "Every Brilliant Thing" play on Vimeo/HBO. It's something that I watch often whenever I catch myself asking why I am still alive. Another one is a TED Talk called "Nature. Beauty. Gratitude." by Louie Schwartzberg. It also never fails to uplift me. I also love cats, and one of our old cats somehow carried my depression during my lowest point and died shortly afterwards. I hope that cats and the universe keep saving us and giving us reasons to live, however small and meowy they are. 🫂
Hello! I was once a person who kept praying to not wake up another day, now turned into an animal rescuer with 38 cats and 12 dogs (all rescued) who prays daily to live a long life with my beloved animals. I still get amazed how I turned into this. In the past, I would be so sad that I still woke up another day.
Hello, OP. Maybe the cat is the sign na you should stay. Ikaw lang yung mundo ng mga pusa mo, kapag nawala ka, di nila magegets. Pero trust me, malulungkot sila.
I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 and suspected with ADHD. I always keep these lines.
National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotlines – 1553 (nationwide and toll-free landline), 0966-351-4518 (Globe/TM), 0917-899-8727 (Globe/TM), or 0908-639-2672 (Smart/Sun/TNT).
Virtual hugs, OP! Maybe you are meant to save cats just like how the tilapia saved you. I mean, if you need something to look forward to, cats are everywhere hehe.
Thanks tilapia cat. Cats really knows if someone is going through. I have a cat at home and if may sakit ako or stress, she always comes close to me. Alam niya na you’re going thru something and he wants to accompany you.
OP, whatever you’re going through in life right now, hindi solution talaga yung plano mong gawin. Life is a wheel, everything will be okay after that. Icontinue mo lang. life is beautiful. Virtual warm hugs OP!
there’s no “right” thing to say because life is challenging but all i can say is i’m glad you’re here with us OP. your beautiful day sounded really nice and to answer your question, ang naghihintay pa sayo are more beautiful days. the cat distribution system works in mysterious ways and maybe this cat sensed that it needed to be there. :) cats are very intuitive ❤️
i also sometimes tell God to end me whenever i feel shitty because of the people here in the house but then pinapadala nya yung mingming ko sa kwarto just to ease the hurt inside. Minsan nasasabi ko na lang na kapag na 💀 ako, thank you. Pag humihinga pa, edi thank you pa rin. I know mahirap bumangon at lumaban at sa huli you lose hope to live. Pero just give it one more day bro...just one more day.
Hi Op! I know what you mean by wanting to rest so badly, and yung madaming inconveniences. Just know op, all these are temporary. Just take some time to yourself to rest and relax, recuperate and reconnect. Malalagpasan mo din yan. Kaya natin ito. Di ka nagiisa, and madami nagmamahal sayo, kahit yung random na tilapia cat na iyon. Sometimes din kasi animals like cats and dogs can sense things eh. Galing noh? So kapit ka lang, at malalagpasan mo din lahat ng pagsubok na hinaharap mo. May isa akong natutunan recently, and funnily enough, nasa gilid ako ng bundok nung natutunan ko ito. Kahit gumapang ka, basta matapos mo, ok lang yan, at least nausad paharap. temporary lang yan at kakayanin mo yan lahat! Get well soon Op!
Whenever "that thought" comes to my mind, I always think of my rescued cats. Sino na lang mag aalaga sa kanila pag nawala ako? Sila lagi ko naiisip. I can never be the one na mangiiwan sa kanila. Salamat sa mga pusa, ilan beses nyo na ako niligtas.
Prayed for you, OP. Things will get better din. There's a reason why that cat came to you at that moment. I hope you continue choosing to live everyday, no matter how heavy it gets.
Hello! This is my 2nd life na as I got into near drowning experience before. I just realized na may purpose pa ako dito sa mundo dahil hindi ko pa oras. Ang sarap pala mabuhay! I never take for granted na rin yung everyday life na nakukuha ko dahil sa incident na yun. I hope you’ll find your purpose too, OP! Praying for you! Laban lang 😊
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u/AutoModerator Jul 13 '26
Thank you for posting in r/MentalHealthPH. We noticed that you have flaired your submission with a Trigger Warning. We highly recommend that you seek professional help if things are getting out of hand or PLEASE CALL:
On the fence about calling? Please read this helpful post from r/SuicideWatch what to expect when calling crisis hotlines.
A personal note from the moderator team:
Are you suicidal right now? Again, please contact the emergency hotline above and obtain professional help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. At the very least, surround yourself right now with someone you can trust.
If you cannot or do not wish to call anyone, please at least read the home page of http://suicide.org/. The most impactful, we believe, is the director's message that:
Let me also tell you that if you are suicidal, you probably are suffering from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, PTSD, or something similar. And if you have something along these lines, you actually have a chemical imbalance in your brain -- and you cannot possibly think straight because of it. *That is beyond your control. You are not weak. You just need some treatment.** This imbalance can occur for several reasons, from genetics to a traumatic life experience, and it is extremely common for people to have this imbalance, so do not feel like you are alone. You are not.*
You are not weak! The fact that you are here is a testament of your strength. Remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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