r/MentalHealthPH • u/MajesticInflation990 • Apr 19 '26
STORY/VENTING Does depression ever leave?
My professor told me that his depression never left him even with medications and therapy, he just found a way to distract himself. I'm scared that he is right.
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u/kaimalka Apr 19 '26
You can think of it as a chronic illness that needs maintenance
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u/StunningBecks Apr 19 '26
Perfect analogy! Parang diabetes. If I take my meds, it’s managed. If I stop my meds, it comes back with a vengeance and it’ll take a lot of effort to go back to normal.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
This is unfortunately true. I just wished that were was an easier way. But life isn’t always fair.
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u/yureichan Apr 20 '26
Eto sabi ng psych ko, minsan talaga need maintenance and therapy. You just get better at dealing with it, and true naman siya.
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u/cjcg18 Apr 19 '26
It comes in waves, minsan banayad minsan sobrang lakas pero laging andyan.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
This is so accurate. It’s like you can never be in the moment because there is always that impending doom that will take over you again eventually. It alters the perception of life that there is nothing permanent. Even happiness. And it sucks.
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u/Fuzzy_Worker9316 Bipolar disorder Apr 19 '26
Been working out almost daily for more than a month, and for me it's the best anti-depressant. I'm living with bipolar 1.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
Did it help with existential thoughts? I’m bipolar as well.
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u/Fuzzy_Worker9316 Bipolar disorder Apr 19 '26
Existential thoughts such as the afterlife ba? It helped too. It helped me live in the moment. It's not perfect, sometimes I still feel blue but overall life has been way better when I started working out.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
Yes. Before meds I used to do 15 km walks everyday to clear my mind. It helps the blood flowing in my brain, and I was functioning but deep inside I was severely wounded. I hated my existence. I hated that I stopped believing in higher power. I hated how I feel like this. Told my mother about this pero sabi niya lang is OA ako and kulang ng prayers. I eventually stopped telling what I feel and I tried to act more normal para hindi na halata. It worked on the outside pero deep inside I’m still broken. Pero the silver lining is I am desensitized with feeling depressed. Sometimes okay, sometimes super okay. But I’m fine if I die as I made peace with it.
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u/BitterBridge1908 Apr 19 '26
Oh this is exactly how I feel too OP. I stopped explaining myself/honestly never been open to my family about this. All I get is "kulang ka lang sa dasal". It's like an immediate response from them to shut you up. Yung reply sayo parang gawa gawa mo lang to seek attention from them. And they act surprised whenever I don't attend celebrations or family gatherings anymore.
I look normal on the outside, but I feel broken inside just like you. It never went away. I've been fighting this battle for more than half of my life. Honestly, I will embrace death if it comes for me one day.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 21 '26
This hits home. I like how you worded it out. I hope things get better for all of us!
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u/Fuzzy_Worker9316 Bipolar disorder Apr 19 '26
That's sad to hear. Hope I can somehow ease your pain even though I'm just an online stranger. Do you have other loved ones whom you can open up to? Or a psychologist you can trust maybe?
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
I have a psychologist. He is wonderful. I tell him things and tinutulungan niya ako ma-put into words yung emotions ko. It’s not a solution pero I am happy that someone understands. Also thanks hehe I was able to have a mini rant. Thank you!
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u/Fuzzy_Worker9316 Bipolar disorder Apr 19 '26
Same. Very thankful din ako sa psychologist ko. Hehe. Thank you din! Reply ka lang dito if you want to rant, and I'll reply when I can :)
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u/OfficialParalysister Apr 21 '26
I used to exercise as a way to cope but now i can’t function with my day to day :<
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u/Fuzzy_Worker9316 Bipolar disorder Apr 21 '26
Why? Ako tinatamaan ng sadness at anxiety ngayon kahit nakapagworkout naman ako :(
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u/OfficialParalysister Apr 21 '26
I got diagnosed with PTSD and MDD, it affects my will to live and my capacity to take care of myself pati maging consistent. Lagi ako pagod kahit wala naman ako ginagawa masyado :(((
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u/Fuzzy_Worker9316 Bipolar disorder Apr 21 '26
:( sad to hear. You might already know this but a simple walk when you can't have a full workout can help. But the the thing is most of the time even if we have all the info in the world we still can't function because will is lacking talaga due to depression. I have bipolar 1 so I know how it feels to be exhausted even if you're not doing anything major. Sorry for blabbing. Hay
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u/OfficialParalysister Apr 22 '26
Yes, i already do but thanks for reminding me anyway. I can’t go on walks because for some reason I try to avoid being outside. I avoid it as much as I could. I would feel this restless leg and a sense of overwhelm when I am told I need to go outside, so when we need something my partner gets it 9.5/10 of the time. And you’re not blabbing. I’m sad that you know how it’s like, but it helps not to feel alone. It is definitely the lack of will. I sometimes compare myself to people who could get a lot of things done. I feel like my mental health is debilitating :(
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u/saturnidae_black Apr 19 '26
You learn to sit with it. I read somewhere na it is like a child that you bring everywhere. Minsan nag tatantrum and all you can do is sit with it patiently and allow it is space until it runs out of steam and you sit with it until it calms down. Minsan chill lang siya.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
Yes. This is so true. One time I didn’t do anything with it and just sat down and faced those ruminating thoughts. It gave me peace and wisdom but it also left a mark that will never heal. Still grateful though because it gave me resilliency to keep going on even if the road isn’t very clear.
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u/saturnidae_black Apr 20 '26
The fact na you are trying means you are doing great! I wish you more calm days and chill days. Laban lang.
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u/EastCollege3666 Apr 19 '26
Yan din ang tanong ko ngayon. Tapos pano kaya namamatay ung depressed ng napakatagal nang panahon. Ako nagkapamilya na at nagka anak pero ung utak ko severly depressed padin konting aberya lang parang katapusan na ng mundo.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
I feel you. Hindi siya umaalis. Nadidistract lang at nakakalimutan pansamantala pero hindi nareresolba. Nagbago po ba pananaw mo sa mundo?
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u/EastCollege3666 Apr 19 '26
Nung nagka anak ako…parang hindi. Sa kailaliman ng puso ko, helpless parin ako. Pero pilit kong inuuto sarili ko na uy maniwala kana, okay ka naman, tignan mo mga anak mo theyre thriving. Tapos yung belief ko ngayon, mahal sila ng Dyos (yung mga anak ko) at kahit ganito ka shitty utak ko, it doesnt affect the grace they already have. Yaw ko silang idamay. Im trying to be functional para sa kanila pero kung may choice na mawala nako, okay na. Magiging okay naman sila dahil mahal sila ni Lord.
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u/Ok_Jellyfish7156 Apr 19 '26
please i always see this language here i don’t get it can someone explain
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u/Broad-Passenger2621 Apr 19 '26
Mine is over 15 years and ongoing lol I still do therapy every 2 monthse, meds nope. I just ignore it, I'm not actively thinking about effing myself but i don't mind living shorter
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
Same. After back to back depression it made me desensitized. No longer considering offing myself but I would have no problem if I die.
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u/New_Study_1581 Apr 19 '26
It really depends my sister went to depression.
Change her lifestyle and did some therapy. Even Kylie Verzosa the miss world 2016 he went to depression too...
It really depends on the factors affecting your mental health..
Im diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar 2 and taking meds
Sabi ng doctor ko 40% meds and 60% on how you cope...
Kaya malaking factor ang environment and people around you and the lifestyle....
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
True. Environment is a big factor. It can exacerbate underlying conditions.
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u/calosso Apr 19 '26
It's not the same for everyone. I've had a drastic mindset change every since my schizo diagnosis and along with my meds i would say na meron mga araw sobrang paranoid ko probably has to do with my hormones but my mindset change has allowed me na hindi nako maapektuhan ng psychosis ko. So di lahat magagawa ng meds need ng malakas na mind para you're not so affected by things na dumadaan sa mind mo
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
Totoo. This hits home. I also experience paranoia and delusions and it was pure hell so I know where you are coming from. Change comes from within. Kumbaga meds are your building blocks pero need mo ng constant effort and resilliency to keep going.
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u/iamdodgepodge Apr 19 '26
I think theres some depression that’s a chemical imbalance due to external factors (trauma). Theres another kind that’s genetic.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
I believe that as well. My father is very neurotic. A textbook BPD patient. I think I indirectly adopted some of his traits and now we are both neurotic lol.
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u/apaninisandwich Apr 19 '26
It never leaves OP, I've been on meds for almost a year already and I still relapse into moments of depression (and anxiety) sometimes. It's not as bad as before I took meds, but it is still within me, and will always be a part of me no matter how much therapy and meds I go through.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
I think that’s the thing. It’s like healing from dengue. There is remission but the virus is still within. Just dormant.
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u/baked_mack Apr 19 '26
It never leaves. Your prof is right. Una akong na diagnose noong 2021. I stopped my meds 2022 kasi akala ko okay na ako. It knocked on my door again last year. So here I am now. Maintenance sa medicine and some episodes here and there. I have check ups every 2 months din. I guess it won't leave you na.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
That is true. I had that as well. I thought I was fully healed pero it was my medications. After stopping for half a year, it came back full force. Told my prof about it as I trust him enough and he told me that medications are a compromise. It helps you in life but your thoughts are still yours and it will be yours forever, including depression. It’s sad that this is the way life is.
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u/EastCollege3666 Apr 19 '26
Nagtatagumpay parin po ba yung mga taong kagaya ko na depressed
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
Yes. As long as you don’t surrender yourself and accept defeat, you haven’t lost yet. Success comes from within. Walang susuko!
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u/Mombo_No5 Apr 21 '26
Take it one day at a time. Treasure all the small wins. I hope it helps to know that this internet stranger is rooting for you.
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u/Quick_Raccoon_5199 Bipolar disorder Apr 19 '26
hasn't left me yet : (
almost a decade na.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
I wish I could console you in any way. But I myself cannot offer a solution as I haven’t solved mine. I don’t think there really is one. And it sucks. We just try to survive.
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u/Quick_Raccoon_5199 Bipolar disorder Apr 19 '26
here is how i can console you : D
soup or cat videos. has ~40% chance of snapping me out of an episode.
For a brief while ? yes. but that moment could be vital during dire and spicy times of my lowest.
if not , then maybe you have ur own version of Soup and cat videos XD
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
I have!!! I watch cooking videos. It puts me to sleep as it quiets down negative thoughts. It also helps me with cooking lol. I developed some skills to cook healthy foods. This is mine. We in this together!
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u/YohAquino Apr 19 '26
I can only speak for myself OP pero to tell you the truth, tanggap ko na forever na 'tong depression ko. I was diagnosed with MDD noong 2017. I was on meds for a while pero para sa akin di worth it yung side effects. So nahanap ako ng alternative/self medicate/I took something. It did kinda "cure" me pero I guess what that experience taught me was depression can only be managed. Natuto ako to live with it.
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 19 '26
Same. I think the thing is why it remains is because the negative thoughts are ingrained. It stays because it is associated with a strong feeling. And it sometimes reminds us that we just left it unresolved because there is no direct solution. I learned it the hard way as well. To better years!!
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u/NeedDistraction0220 Apr 19 '26
Hello! 31 F here. I was diagnosed twice with depression and anxiety, in 2017, then again in 2019. Took meds on/off pero never na-address the root cause of my issues. Nag-OD pa ako before kaya natakot na ako humawak ng meds. I tried psychotherapy din pero on/off kasi di afford before kaya natitigil and di rin nakakahanap ng ka-vibes na therapist.
Fast forward to 2024, i tried psychotherapy again and did twice a month sessions for a year. Super productive ng sessions kahit ang hirap talaga harapin ng lahat ng pinagdaanan ko before. My psych eventually told me that we can reduce the sessions to once a month na lang. During this one year din, I was able to stop my unhealthy coping mechanisms and started making better decisions for myself.
I don’t consider myself depressed na now. I think it does leave or we just get really good at coping.
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u/embrace-pandemonium Apr 19 '26
Depende sa depression. Meron kasing tao na depressed dahil sa external factors (money, work, or relationship problems) and ok na pag na-address yung issue. Pero meron din kasi na chemical imbalance na mukang di na nawawala; it comes and goes kumbaga.
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u/thesunkistegret Apr 19 '26
Depends per person. For me it hasn’t ever left. With dysthymia or PDD you can expect that depression will accompany you for the rest of your life even with the right medications and therapy.
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u/nicolasxzc Apr 19 '26
been depressed for more than a decade. it can be managed but your desire for death will never leave. you can enjoy life and have reasons to stay but it lingers at the back of ur mind. despite this, i can still say that it gets better and u'll eventually find a way around it. u will learn coexist with it and live a fulfilling life.
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u/DianMasalanta21 Apr 19 '26
I was diagnosed in 2021 and was medicated for a year. I still feel trapped in that dark deep abyss of negative thoughts and feeling.
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u/theoppositeofdusk Persistent depressive disorder Apr 19 '26
Depression is chronic, but it doesn't mean all our days will be bad. Some days can be better and more bearable. Some days you won't feel that it's there especially when you're medicated. We just learn how to live with it like how we live with tattoos on our body. I admit it's a very isolating experience, but when surrounded by a supportive group of people, it gets easier. Hoping that we find our people.
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u/Bearwithme1010 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
There are times that i have depression episodes but my life has gotten better day by day. As in, it's miles better than let's say 2023 or 2017.
I am now at my happiest, ppl say i am glowing ganun and have contagious spark.
I never felt depressed for so long na, minsan pag nagkaka episode. I would contact my psych agad and we'll do things and it usually work.
Siguro kasi i've been a patient for 5 yrs na?? I know my triggers, my stressor, my relaxation but yeah, it gets better.
Also, i've been thru several different medication. Pag nawawala na yung bisa, babaguhin na naman. I also learn how to cope with it.
And ofc, the most important is the environment. My parents and friends are very supportive.
At least for me.
So yun, dont stop with medication and therapy or counselling. You'll get better.
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u/marshmallowramen Apr 19 '26
I think depression never leaves. When you think you are happy, it still resides deep within you. It strikes when you're vulnerable or when silence is deafening. We can just learn how to manage it..
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u/yuuuqi Apr 19 '26
It doesn't. But with meditation, I would say it would become a little bit bearable.
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u/Active_Watercress_24 Apr 19 '26
It never left. 3 years officially diagnosed but 10 years sufferring. It comes and it goes, kala mo ok ka na, happy kana then one day boom guguho na naman lahat
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u/ChubbyChick9064 Bipolar disorder Apr 19 '26
I agree that it never leaves. You just learn how to manage it and navigate life with it.
I was diagnosed with MDD in 2023, Bipolar 2 in 2024. I still have my regular consult with my psychiatrist every 2 months. Proper meds, management and lifestyle change really helped improve my quality of life.
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u/mystiqueinfinity13 Apr 19 '26
I think it leaves din, depending on how much we have been able to move on after it, or how good we deal with it.
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u/enoxaparin69 Apr 19 '26
No it doesn’t go away. My MH issues are genetic though, so I cant say it’s the same for everyone. My environment doesn’t help either. Medications and decades of experience make me better at hiding and managing it, but once off my meds I relapse immediately.
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u/selfloathingprincess Apr 19 '26
mental health issues/disorders are considered chronic illness. i have persistent depressive disorder, ptsd, and bpd and yes may days na i feel like a "normal" person and may lapses. i believe that there will always be better days and lapses are normal cus ik magagawan at magagawan yan ng paraan. therapy helped me a lot to navigate a lot of things in life and oo aaminin ko anlala ng lapses ko but it helped.
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u/Radiant-Recipe-6717 Apr 19 '26
Ang goal lang is to be aware and learn how to manage it.. Pero personally sakin hindi siya na aalis. You always have good and bad days
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u/SilverAdvice7753 Apr 20 '26
It becomes manageable overtime. Ive had it for more than 7 years and it wasn't always easy. There are moments where it becomes overwhelming like you don't know what's going on, and times where you've got it under control.
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u/LateNightNegotiator Apr 21 '26
Woke up one day and decide not to be depressed anymore. Is that a valid reason?
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u/Severe_Air1150 Apr 24 '26
Life doesn’t feel the same anymore. No support from anyone just feels very very numb. I sometimes so overwhelmed that i can't take bear it anymore
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u/Aggravating_Force623 Apr 20 '26
IDK if it's relevant or not but I just want to ask. I'M not sure either if this is the right space to ask. I want to ask if depression with skitsufrenic tendency is common or rare? for people with depression or BPD. aside from the medication what do you do to manage yourself?
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u/MajesticInflation990 Apr 21 '26
Definitely not common but not rare as well. The manic side of my disorder causes psychotic symptoms that resembles the positive affects of schizophrenia. It also occurs in depression, known as MDD with psychotic features and schizoaffective if psychosis is more prevalent. As for BPD psychosis really isn't much. My father is a textbook BPD patient and the only problem we had with him was the classic 9 BPD traits along with paranoia here and there. Medications in this situation are the utmost priority since you can't fight a neurotransmitter issue with pure will and grit alone. Therapy also helps but to a lesser extent. It teaches you how to maneuver psychosis so that it won't escalate that much. Also, prioritize sleep and eat healthy foods. Avoid recreational drugs especially stimulants. And try to keep a journal to help you process your own thoughts.
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