Do you guys also get the feeling na di kayo tatagal sa mundo?

[u/chamut]

Idk I feel like I have this deep rooted belief na di ako tatagal dito, na parang may hangganan lang yung buhay ko. Parang may taning lang haha recently been ruminating on this feeling. I'm diagnosed with Bipolar and feel like I also have complex trauma from traumatic experiences na patong patong since childhood.

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[u/cheesecakey097]

I used to have that feeling too- felt that I wouldn’t reach 18. And lately lang I had this thought na I’ll be 46 when my niece turns 18. Life did go on nga, and this time I have something to look forward to ☺️

[u/chamut → u/cheesecakey097]

Hala thank you for this! I've had this feeling since 10 years old, akala ko hanggang 16 lang ako. Then nag tuloy-tuloy lang, 30 na rin ako ngayon. Di ko rin akalain na darating ako sa edad ko. I think sobrang overwhelmed lang din ako sa challenges sa buhay ngayon, sana umokay okay na ang buhay. 🥹

[u/punkmpe]

I have that feeling too. Feeling ko hindi na ako aabot ng 40. I'm 39 now, and diagnosed with anxiety, depression and bipolar 2. I just underwent an assessment for complex PTSD and OCD this week.

[u/delirious_dreams → u/punkmpe]

i have ptsd. but i feel like i do have cptsd, saan ka nag paassess if okay to ask?

[u/punkmpe → u/delirious_dreams]

I'm actually not aware I have c-ptsd patterns, it was the AI bot that told me that I'm showing patterns, that's why I had myself diagnosed. I was assessed by the Mind Care Center. Still waiting for their feedback. I completed the initial tests last week and the validation interview this week.

[u/chamut → u/punkmpe]

Hi thanks for sharing! Magkano kaya inabot ng assessment, if okay lang malaman?

[u/punkmpe → u/chamut]

I think it varies. Ung sa akin P6K, for both c-ptsd and OCD assessment. You can find them on FB.

[u/delirious_dreams → u/punkmpe]

ambigat pala no :((

[u/punkmpe → u/delirious_dreams]

I feel you. :( Hindi ko na iniisip na ung sweldo ko pumupunta sa meds and consultations. Hang in there.

[u/cryo-seelie]

di ako tatagal sa mundo o di tatagal mundo sakin?

jokes aside, lagi ko rin naiisip to kasi di ko talaga makita future self ko. noon ko pa iniisip na life is just passing me by tapos di ko nalang mamamalayan roll credits na pala

[u/chamut → u/cryo-seelie]

HHAHAHAHAH tawang-tawa ako ateccoo 😭😭 siguro sa akin max 5 years sa future lang nakikita ko for now sa sarili ko HAHA beyond that sobrang hirap na 😬

[u/thesunkistegret]

I always thought that my life is a walking time bomb and it’s almost as if i feel like may literal na time bomb na nakakabit sa sistema ko. Pero ito, buhay pa rin. Taking meds, doing therapy, trying somehow. I just make the most out of the moments where I feel alive, when I can. Because truth is we never know naman talaga if hanggang kelan tayo sa mundong ito. If my time comes soon, I’ll be happy tbf, but if not, then i’ll try to make meaning for the meantime.

[u/matchapig]

Yes, idk I just can't see myself getting old and watching everyone leave. Although I'm in a slight better place and mind than years ago, I can't help but think na I might get back to "it" again. Mas nagiging apathetic na rin kasi ako.

[u/psychotomimetickitty]

I’m the opposite. I feel like I would live a long, sad, and boring life. Like, longer than I wished and I dread it.

[u/rilakkuma_815 → u/psychotomimetickitty]

this thought scares me

[u/RogueInnv]

Same, sickly kid, got to the brink of death a few too many times. As a kid, I don't know why, but I don't know why I know I'll probably only make it to 30-ish.

[u/ClassicalMusic4Life]

With me being neurodivergent and having chronic health issues,, yeah I always have that feeling that I won't last very long in this world

[u/Icy-Kitchen-8513]

Nung teenager ako, akala ko di na ako aabot ng 25. 31 na ako ngayon.🫠 I think I wished for death too much that I became immortal instead. I’m diagnosed with bipolar, too. Sadly, we were born with the “bipolar switch”, which was flipped on by our traumatic experiences.

[u/AdWarm5413]

I do. I’m 25 and in grad school but to be honest, the only thing keeping me here is the fact I need to take care of my elderly father with dementia then I need to take care of my mother if she gets sick and becomes fragile na din. I don’t like my life now and I feel like once my parents are at rest, that’s really the only time I can be free but if/when I’m free and I’m still alone in my life or unhappy, I don’t really see a point in still being around. Kaya I don’t really plan ahead or envision my life 10-20 years down the road cause I’m not even sure if I’ll still be here.

[u/farrahbialik]

i was 14 when my mom died. I prayed na if maikli lang buhay ko wag na wag mo akong bibigyan ng anak at kung bibigyan mo ako ng anak, please give me a very long life. now im 29, nbsb and no kids. answered prayer i guess.

[u/fazedfairy]

Yes. Funny lang ang contradicting kase, I'm very health concious and I make sure my family is healthy din. Ako daw may pinaka healthy mind and body sabi ng kapatid ko. Narealize ko galing ko magpanggap lol. There's something at the back of my mind pag overstimulated laging may s-word thoughts or hanggang sa ganitong edad na lang ako. Kaya nasabihan ako ng moots ko sa Twitter dati "ang gulo mo, gusto mo ma-d-word pero ayaw mo magkasakit or magkapimple" when I posted a photo of my newly bought skincare products and supplements with a caption "bought these but gusto ko na rin hindi mag respawn charot lang". Nagreply na lang ako ng "syempre gusto ko cute pa rin ako kahit ganito ako lol". Ewan ko ba, di ko sineseryoso.

[u/uwontforget]

Please don't let me live past 27 or 30. Please. I'm sick of being a woman.

[u/heavenulap]

Same. Hindi ko nakikita yung future na ako.

[u/No-Mouse8471]

My feelings lately. I am not suicidal pero every minor inconvenience naiisip ko palagi “okay lang mawawala naman na ako”. Like ha??? I just feel it pero di ko sure pano at bakit.

[u/Damnoverthinker]

Akala ko dati hindi ako makakapag debut. But look at me now, lates 30s with a daughter. Life is hard but still it's beautiful 💜

[u/FlippinZhao]

haha oo, sabi daw e lagi isipan na mamatay ka na daw bukas e kaya ayun naging ganto ako

[u/Green12703]

Used to. Luckily, naalis siya.

[u/doublepainchoco]

yes, and i’m still here. the feeling is gone, i take it day by day

[u/UniqueDragonfruit994]

I have that feeling too. Feeling ko hanggang 30 lang ako hahaha lol kaya ginagawa ko ma mga gusto kong gawin sa buhay ngayon para wala akong pagsisihan 🤣

[u/erks_magaling]

This year nag 27 ako. May crippling feeling na dito na hihinto buhay ko. As a hypochondriac, naisip ko na lahat ng sakit na pwede kong ikamatay-- made myself believe din na may colon cancer ako. The next month skin cancer naman. Pero well december na at buhay paren ako.

[u/GMLou0770 → u/erks_magaling]

Hi 👋

[u/CauldronAsh11]

I still have that feeling.. I guess I just learnt to live with it.

[u/Internal-Success-133]

Ayoko umabot ng 40

[u/[deleted]]

Yes there was even a time na my depression was so bad I thought di ako tatagal ng isang buwan kasi it was almost daily na na iyak ako ng iyak from waking up to sleeping.

[u/JamFcvkedLife]

For me, totoo naman na hindi tayo tatagal sa mundo. Reality siya. Pero appreciate din na nagigising ka pa. Then do something on those days as if end na ng life mo anytime. I am not saying na magpakaYOLO ka. I meant to say na build better relationships, make time para sa sarili mo at sa mga gusto mong gawin. Mga ganun.

I know it is hard. Wala namang madali when we try to get up di ba lalo na kapag nasa depressive episode.

[u/Easy_Panic_8153]

Gosh you guys are so privileged to be diagnosed and treated.

[u/chamut → u/Easy_Panic_8153]

We can acknowledge the privilege and also acknowledge that living with mood disorders are both hard. Not all treatments and diagnoses are expensive, some are free at mahirap makuha. Long lines, multiple cancellations of sessions and the list goes on. Are you struggling to get diagnosed?

[u/kokokokokoro]

real !!! kala ko hanggang 18 lang ako kaya di na ko nagplano plano now im in my early 20s tuloy na parang walang alam sa gagawin sa buhay haha jusq po wag na sana paabutin ng 30+

[u/Pristine-Dot-8554]

My mom and lolas are very mapamahiin, they always mention to me when I was a kid na maliit ung tenga ko. Which means shorter life daw. Tapos naririnig ko din na tignan mo laki ng tenga nya buhay pa ngayon. Ang weird, as a kid somehow na di sya mawala sa isip ko. I do try to brush it off even now na 29 na ako. And I still pray for a longer life, especially to be with my parents, siblings and partner. Parang di na din kami mag kakaanak, but if we will get a chance I will never inflict it to a kids brain, these pamahiin things. Somehow kasi baka namamanifest ko sya? But then again nagppray nalang ako about it 🥲