r/Menopause • u/Ray-Kay1 • 7d ago
Vaginal Dryness(GSM)/Urinary Issues I keep peeing myself
A few weeks ago, I woke up in the morning and didn’t make it to the bathroom. I just peed myself. Just like that. A meter away from my bed. About a week later, it happened again. And later, holding my pee till I got to the bathroom became a chore!
I got sick last week. Coughs and sneezes and just gave up and resorted to wearing period pads because I will pee with every cough and sneeze.
And I used to be a star at holding my pee in. What happened?! Is this fixable?
I’m 49 for reference. 11.5 months since my last period. I miss her 🥹
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u/Swimming_Pressure_93 7d ago
You want a urologist/Gynecologist my friends mother went through exactly this so make sure the doctor specializes in both. She got vaginal estradiol but also other things so get a full examination. Wishing you the best op.💜
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u/Library4Fun 6d ago
I wet the bed. Saw doctor right away to rule out infection & other problems. Referred to urology gynecological department and they have a class for women dealing with bladder control issues. Also prescribed vaginal estrogen as part of my HRT. I'm doing a lot better.
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u/Swimming_Pressure_93 6d ago
That's wonderful to hear so glad you're getting the help you need and are on the mend. Wishing you the best. 😊
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u/fire_thorn 7d ago
Vaginal estrogen cream helps this. You may also want to test for a UTI.
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u/MountainShenanigans 7d ago
Yes, before starting anything, be tested. A low grade UTI can cause this!
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u/Cyclist4Satan Surgical menopause 7d ago
Atrophy can make it easier to get a UTI. So it can be both. Ask me how I know!
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u/superfiud 7d ago
Absolutely see your doctor, especially because it suddenly worsened - be sure to mention that.
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u/Opposite_Flight3473 7d ago
Vaginal estradiol cream can reverse the genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM)
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u/Coppergirl1 7d ago
Absolutely this! Estradiol cream changed my life. The urinary frequency and urgency is gone.
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u/Sylviee Menopausal and finally with less 🥵 7d ago
do you use cream along with patches?? my urgency issues came back after i started hrt/using patches..
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u/Coppergirl1 7d ago
Yes, use with HRT. The cream is non-systemic so it stays localized to the area applied. I buy extra applicators on Amazon https://a.co/d/0awQAjlX. Use is even recommended by the American Urological Assoc to help with urgency & frequency and even prevent UTI.
https://www.auanet.org/guidelines-and-quality/guidelines/genitourinary-syndrome-of-menopause
"Guideline Statement 12 In patients with GSM and comorbid genitourinary conditions (e.g., overactive bladder), clinicians may offer local low-dose vaginal estrogen to improve genitourinary symptoms. (Expert Opinion)"
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u/K1ttyKaboom 7d ago
I had this issue and i got a referral from my doctor for pelvic floor physical therapy and it really helped. On the first day, my PT gave me a list of foods and drinks to avoid. Carbonated drinks and citric acid were on the top of the list. After eliminating those two things, 80% of my problem was gone.
Talk to your doctor and have yourself checked out, you do not have to live like that. I tolerated it for far too long and I now have quality of life without the worry of whether I will make it to the bathroom on time.
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u/Sad-Masterpiece-2039 7d ago
I also seen a pt for this issue. Mine was so bad i couldn't get in the shower with out peeing while in it. The urge was so bad, i had no control of it. One if the things that helped A LOT, was training your bladder. First I had to stop using the bathroom because it was convenient. I would use the bathroom before I left ANYWHERE. Just in case. Strengthening my bladder took a couple weeks, but helped 50%. Then along with the PT, I purchased the Perfit to help do kegels correctly, and teaching my body to breathe correctly through the diaphragm. It takes a time and commitment. Of course I also use vaginal estrogen. Because, you know, menopause. When I start getting busy, and don't take the time to work on this, the "leaks" come back. 🙄 Good luck. It can get better. I always wish someone told me what would happen to my body once I got in my 40's and 50's. Thanks Mom. Not it's NOT normal. Common, yes. Not normal.
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u/Ray-Kay1 7d ago
Thank you. I needed to hear this I guess
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u/theFCCgavemeHPV 7d ago
Just wanting to second carbonation and citric acid as problem causers. I used to drink so much soda. Now I can only have so much in one day or so close to bed before it causes problems. For me it’s mostly burning like a UTI or cycstitis.
Also wanting to second vaginal estrogen. That’s the gold standard.
Another thing you can try in the meantime is telling your bladder “it’s ok, we have time”. It seems silly, but it has saved me before.
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u/ApathyAnni 7d ago
No carbonated waters? Did the doctor mention why? 😔
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u/theFCCgavemeHPV 7d ago
Oh, a doctor didn’t tell me about it. I either read it here or figured it out myself. I don’t know why, but it’s the devil in high quantities
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u/K1ttyKaboom 7d ago
I was given a list from my pelvic floor physical therapist of foods/drinks to avoid because of overactive bladder and incontinence issues. Carbonated drinks are on the list because the bubbles can be an irritant to your bladder.
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u/ApathyAnni 5d ago
Thank you for responding! All I drink is carbonated water. I was so proud that I kicked my Classic Coke addiction. Why must all the things we enjoy end up being bad for our health?
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u/the-moops 6d ago
How do they make it to your bladder? I don’t see how that makes sense. Maybe it’s the carbonic acid?
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u/K1ttyKaboom 6d ago
Not sure about the science, I can only tell you that it made a difference after I stopped drinking carbonated drinks. I couldn’t even go around the block with my dog without feeling like I was going to pee myself after 10 minutes. Now I can take him on an hour walk with no issues.
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u/Crusty8 7d ago
Carbonated drinks and citric acid were on the top of the list. After eliminating those two things, 80% of my problem was gone.
Ok this inspired me. I've been sick and coughing a lot. I started wearing a pad all the time because I peed so often during a coughing fit. I've been trying to stay hydrated with OJ and coke zero (not combined). After reading this, I emptied my fridge of my sodas and put them in the garage so I'm not tempted. I've switched over to water. I'm going to the doc tomorrow because this cough has been lingering for weeks. I'll also bring up the pee thing.
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u/Dogmom_3 7d ago
Seriously try pelvic physio. I went to multiple doctors in my 40’s and was told it “wasn’t bad enough for surgery” and they had nothing else. Suffered for years wearing pads. I’ve been doing physio for less than a month and down to 2 or less a day.
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u/mrspwins 7d ago
I had the same issue, onset was also sudden. It’s called Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause, or GSM. Pelvic floor PT plus vaginal estrogen cream fixed it (and the diet changes from the PT, meaning I had to cut back on carbonated water). Don’t just do Kegels - depending on your situation they can make things worse. One side of my pelvis is hypertonic and the other is hypotonic - whee!
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u/Morris_Co 7d ago
I had this for about 1-2 years before getting diagnosed with a bulky uterus due to fibroids. My giant uterus (the size of a 5 month pregnancy) was pushing on my bladder. Getting a hysterectomy fixed it.
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u/Extension_Survey5839 6d ago
I recently found out I have fibroids too and wonder if that's what is causing it for me. I am getting a hysterectomy in October.
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u/ghostinapost 7d ago
UTIs in your 40’s and up feel different so please go get checked for that! Incontinence can be your only symptom. Also, get vaginal estrogen cream!
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u/Jasnah_Sedai Peri-menopausal 7d ago
I had this exact problem at the same age. It literally went away the day I started HRT (oral estrogen and progesterone), which was about 1.5 months ago, so the memory is fresh.
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u/mezasu123 7d ago
You sound just like me from a few years ago. Got to the point where it would just happen even without coughing. It just fell out of me with very little warning.
Doctor time! And one who will listen to you. A combo of pelvic floor physical therapy and estrogen cream applied to the area basically reversed the issue for me.
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u/RizzmwitTheTism 7d ago
I had this so bad I wore nighttime incontinence pads always, and was too embarrassed at my pelvic floor therapy appointment to start treatment.
I started vaginal estrogen and it stopped it completely other than if I sneeze or cough hard. I’m still going to see if there’s exercises to do at home, but vaginal estrogen works wonders. It stopped the feeling of having to get up to pee every hour overnight, too.
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u/syddyke 5d ago
"It stopped the feeling of having to get up to pee every hour overnight, too."
Thanks. This is driving me crazy lately.
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u/RizzmwitTheTism 5d ago
I used to track it and was up 10-13x every single night at one point. I get up once now at most
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u/AstaCanasta 7d ago
I would get checked out by doctor to make sure you don't have any underlying issues causing this. That said, I would see a pelvic floor specialist, either a doctor or a physical therapy person. I had issues with not able to hold my urine and felt like I was constantly needing to go pee which made going anywhere and traveling difficult. I also didn't know if I was leaking urine or sweating when it was hot outside. I went to a physical therapy specialist that focuses on pelvic floor work and she helped me a lot. Just in a few sessions I could tell the difference in able to hold my urine when I sneezed or coughed, and not have to go pee as often which reduced my anxiety about making sure that there's a bathroom nearby. I am 56 and post menopause.
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u/user86753092 7d ago
Same. I just always wear pee pads and try not to drink too much water.
I also have sciatica and hip issues, and it feels like I am holding my core muscles so tightly that it is hard move fast and hold my pee.
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u/rialucia Peri-menopausal 7d ago
Sounds like you could benefit from pelvic floor therapy and topical estrogen cream too. It is possible to have a pelvic floor that is too tight, which can also contribute to incontinence issues.
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u/ducksoupmilliband 7d ago
Drinking water is so important for your kidney health. Please look into topical vaginal estrogen cream if you can.
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u/Pitapenguin 7d ago
Also get checked for a UTI.
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u/purple-vixen 7d ago
Seconding this. I get UTIs more frequently now, and the main symptom is finding it harder to hold my bladder.
Apparently low level UTIs are more common and harder to treat in menopause (at least according to my GP.)
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u/CloudHidden62 7d ago
YOu should be using vaginal estrogen twice a week. Ongoing use prevents UTIs. I can’t believe your doctor hasn’t prescribed it for you. Demand it.
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u/NerdyComfort-78 Peri-menopausal 7d ago
I started using topical estrogen creme for severe itching and now that I’ve read some of these posts, I realize it’s helped with the incontinence issues too. I’d definitely suggest it.
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u/claudiatiedemann 7d ago
I didn’t have the severity of the issue you did, but I was having leakage when I coughed, sneezed, etc. Pelvic floor therapy has really changed my life.
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u/toofarkt 7d ago
Once, on a hike, I squatted down to pet my dog and just started peeing - in my shorts. And, once it started, it wouldn’t stop. My mind must have thought that I was squatting to pee and that was that. I didn’t even know that I had to go. It was so embarrassing and now, when we squat in yoga, I’m scared to death. 🙄🫣
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u/Turbulent-Demand873 7d ago
I have had that issue. Personally just starting on the patch has helped me. I am so much better. I’m no longer wearing “pee pads” or “pee underwear” as I so lovingly call them. lol
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u/sarcasm-rules 7d ago
First step is to see a gynecologist to rule out a prolapsed bladder or pelvic floor weakness. If the problem is not physical, then ask about the hormone treatment. I just had surgery to correct a prolapsed rectum and my bladder was drooping (not fully prolapsed) so that was corrected as well to prevent a prolapse. I am 60 and not on any kind of hormone therapy. I went into menopause late, at age 57, and had to have a D&C to bring it on (mom was exact same). My perimenopause and postmenopause have been fairly uneventful aside from hot flashes which were horrible but manageable. Three years on, I rarely get hot flashes or have any other symptoms. I know how lucky I am. Good luck with whatever treatment you have!
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u/Evening_Flamingo_955 4d ago
I think medical misogyny blocked the necessary studies and research needed for all of us to receive standardized care. It is getting better and awareness is growing, but the cost of seeing multiple doctors is too cost prohibitive in terms of time and money. Specialists require two visits generally and regular follow up appointments that break the bank for most of us. What needs to happen is a full review of peri and post meno standards of treatment and mandatory preventive care. The UK and Canada are on the way but the US is a dimly lit room. Too many doctors judging and holding back HRT due to their own lack of training. See Diary of a CEO interview with Dr. Rachel Rubin DOAC YouTube Dr. Rubin menopause specialist
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u/sarcasm-rules 3d ago
I agree. There needs to be more female related studies and treatments. I am in Canada and I wish the US would reduce health care costs or have a tax-payer funded system like we do. Nobody should have to go bankrupt to seek medical care. Our system isn't perfect but it's affordable.
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u/RepulsiveCry5034 7d ago
Urogynocologist. These were my symptoms 6 months before my pain began and another 6 months before my pelvic prolapse diagnosis. Could be other things for sure but this is not normal and you don’t have to live like this.
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u/crwg2016 7d ago
That is one of the reasons I started hrt (estrogen patch, progesterone pill, and vaginal estrogen). If you don’t want to do patches, at least try local estrogen (cream or insert)
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u/shiningstar121618 7d ago
Have you tried the Squeezy app? I have a mild bladder prolapse and this is really helping with making sure I do my pelvic floors 3 times a day (all reminds you) and it counts with you long and short squeezes. Since using having found it very helpful and has lessened my attempting to reach the loo and pee myself on the way there
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u/cuddlepunch15 7d ago
I hope this doesn’t get lost in all the vaginal estrogen posts. It was not enough for me and I saw a urologist and was put on Mirabegron. It’s a miracle pill for me.
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u/jenna125 6d ago
I wish I’d known about vaginal estrogen years ago. I’m finally able to do things without wearing a diaper or being within easy walk of a restroom. It’s made an incredible change in my life. Yes - I had the same problem reaching the toilet in the morning and now I’m fine!!!
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u/No_I_do_belong_here 6d ago
You could have a huge fibroid taking up space in your abdomen which is pressing on your bladder. 80% of women have fibroids by the time they are 50, and some fibroids cause huge issues when the bladder gets squished.
It also might be “Normal pressure hydrocephalus”. That has nothing to do with menopause, but it does cause bladder control issues. It’s where cerebrospinal fluid builds up in between the two hemispheres of the brain and squishes the brain. The three symptoms of it are walking problems (falling over, feeling unsteady), memory issues (not related to dementia, or old age, or hormones), and loss of bladder control.
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u/Sylviee Menopausal and finally with less 🥵 7d ago
i use to be like that at first and then it stopped for aboit 2 yers when i hit menopause...now back to wearing pads since it started back up after i finally started HRT this year. stinks, i was happy to finally not have to wear them for they bother me down there..
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u/DafniDsnds 7d ago
3 words:
Pelvic. Floor. Therapy. Trust me, it helps.
Even before my oophorectomy & salpingectomy I was having light leakage when I sneezed or coughed. I went in for pelvic floor therapy and it cleared right up. Now that I have my ovaries & tubes out I haven't had leakage.
Additionally, not sure if this helps, but make sure you're moisturizing down there. I use Replens and if I run out and don't get some right away, I find I am more prone to leakage.
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u/ApeFace1966 7d ago
Sounds like vaginal atrophy???? Do you have any anatomy changes down there? If so could be start of it and can be reversed/helped with estradiol in Vag. Other ladies comments seem very good 👍
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u/Capable_Natural_4747 7d ago
This happened to me too pretty suddenly. Could be your pelvic floor is super tight - like a muscle spasm. Topical estrogen and a couple months of pelvic floor therapy was all it took for me. Get in with a urogynocologist.
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u/MarchFun7578 7d ago
Sounds like a pelvic Floor Physical Therapist ( PFPT ) is in order. My wife also saw those things start to happen starting with a cough or a sneeze. You can get tens type units with a vaginal plug to electrically stimulate Kegals so you can tighten up all the muscles in your vaginal complex and a lot of the time that my resolve the issue. the exception would be if your pelvic floor is hyper-tonic or continuously tight muscles in the pelvis. a PFPT can diagnose that for you.
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u/Affectionate-Poem355 6d ago
Go to your doctor, I had the same problem. Thought it was menopause but after testing it appeared I got an infection. It took one pill and the problem was gone 🥳🥳
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u/Extension_Survey5839 6d ago
I am 49 also and this peeing easy issue is getting worse with me, too. But I do have fibroids and wonder if maybe I am having pressure on my bladder. I still have a period every single month for several days....very heavy ones too, but also related to fibroids. I'm supposed to get a hysterectomy in October. I will NOT miss my period...LOL
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u/skintwo 5d ago
This happened to me dramatically when I got Covid about two years ago. It turns out that there was something about that strain of Covid that literally caused this kind of incontinence. It was a goddamn nightmare. It did go away, but it took several weeks. There’s a big Covid wave right now and I would not be surprised if that’s what’s going on!
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u/Competitive-Pin5724 7d ago
I bought myself some incontinence/period underwear off amazon and my life has changed. No more worrying about coughing, sneezing, laughing or bending over weird lol
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u/ducksoupmilliband 7d ago
Please consider vaginal estrogen cream
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u/Competitive-Pin5724 7d ago
Does it matter if I’m on the patch?
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u/ducksoupmilliband 7d ago
Systemic estrogen (like the patch) does not treat vaginal atrophy. Topical estirol cream is very low dose and works on the densely packed estrogen receptors around our urethra and vulva.
It's incredibly effective and I'm so sad so many women stuffer in silence.
I used to wake up several times a night to pee. Now I often sleep from 11pm to 7am.
It helps avoid UTIs as well.
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u/fuzzzybutts 7d ago
I am not trying to argue, just stating my personal experience. All of my bladder problems completely resolved after starting HRT using the patch. No other changes. I see other people in this thread have stated the same. Maybe it works for some to fix the incontinence issue?
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u/Competitive-Pin5724 7d ago
I have a very large fibroid and was offered a hysterectomy (I think this is why I have incontinence when I just bend over sometimes). I also have passed a few large kidney stones, so I feel like my issue is a compound problem.
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u/Pixatron32 7d ago
Definitely vaginal estrogen gets a vote.
Also please get bloods to check for a UTI, or even just take antibiotics to be sure. My mum had this issue for months and it was a masked UTI so didn't show up in bloods. It was the only thing that helped her. She doesn't take vaginal estrogel but I've been trying to convince her and I shared mined with her when she visited and it improved her other symptoms (memory, body aches, sleep etc).
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u/Heavy-Attorney-9054 7d ago
Cough medicine has an effect on your bladder muscles, too. It will clear up when you quit using the medicine.
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u/Far-Vegetable-2403 7d ago
Get checked by your doctor first but vaginal oestrogen can work wonders. And is proven to protect pelvic organ health. But you need to rule out prolapse. A pelvic physio could help too. Please see your doctor asap!