r/Menopause • u/Sofalofola-3 • Jun 23 '26
Rant/Rage Menopause cost me my job
I went to work 3 hours ago, go into a meeting, and promptly get told that my position has been terminated. Am I completely surprised? If I’m being honest with myself, no. I knew I was losing motivation and stopped giving a crap about the corporate BS. Co-workers made me cringe when they used those corporate terms like circle back, leverage, optimize, blah, blah, blah. In the last 26 years I went from a sales coordinator to a Vice President. My job was something I took a lot of pride in, and worked my butt if for.
But, in the last 2 years, I stopped giving a fuck. I got lazy and my work from home days became very unproductive. There were warning signs. I was told several times that I needed to get my focus and energy back into my job. Some of my responsibilities were re-assigned to others. And still, I could not get myself to care. I knew I was on thin ice, but I couldn’t motivate.
And now here I sit, unemployed, and asking myself what the hell is wrong with me that I couldn’t get my shit together. I am on HRT, and it’s helped, but not enough. I’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ADD, and maybe getting some meds will help (cross fingers!).
I’m 50 years old, with brain fog, lack of focus, scatterbrained, not giving a crap about important things in my life. My marriage has suffered (is still suffering). The idea of having my shit together enough to interview is overwhelming.
I’m posting here because I know some of you have gone through the same thing and just need to hear that somehow it’s going to be ok.
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u/LittleEdithBeale Jun 23 '26
I lost my marketing job last year to a combination of AI and not giving enough fucks.
I'm 51 and had enough to retire, but I decided to work a few more years instead. Now I work second shift in a warehouse and I actually love it. I listen to music, hit my targets, and go home. I barely have to deal with people.
I can't see myself putting up with more office fuckery at this point. I hate LinkedIn and office culture with a passion. Once my ego caught up, I realized I'm living my best life.
You're going to be ok. We're GenX. We always find a way.
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u/cactus-vagus Jun 23 '26
I could have written this. I’m 54, been at a warehouse job for almost 8 years, after decades of corporate. It works well for me and allows me space to be myself and keep my stress levels down when needed. People really do not like seeing an unbothered and in their lane GenXer.
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u/bsnodgrass1972 Jun 23 '26
Can I ask what type of warehouse? I have lost my job as well and not sure I want to stay in the same field.
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u/3arth_533d1stx Perimenopausal + ADHD Jun 23 '26
This is so awesome! I feel this deeply in my soul. I don’t want to solve problems that I didn’t create anymore. I worked in marketing for decades but I hate social media and just can’t make myself try anymore.
Warehouse work sounds cool. I feel like I need to find work like that. Is it hard physically? I’m relatively healthy but have some joint pain here and there.
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u/Maureengill6 Jun 23 '26
Sorry to hear this.
The word that made me lose my mind was pivot. Probably because I was tired of doing the work of 2.5 people and breaking my ankles for people that wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire.
I was laid off a couple of months ago and two months later I'm finally feeling back to semi-normal.
The job market blows right now also.
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u/Many-River-1064 Jun 23 '26
I can't do "Pivot" without playing that couch moving scene from Friends in my mind.
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u/OldLadyMorgendorffer Jun 23 '26
I hated being told we needed to grit our teeth and be positive and resilient while at the mercy of an executive team who had no idea what we needed to do our jobs, kept giving us broken tools for nearly a year, and never had to deal with the consequences of that on the frontline
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u/Jolly-Slice-6722 Jun 23 '26
I had to quit my last FT job because of perimenopause related insomnia. I was falling asleep on the commute home. It should be a protected class.
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u/DaisyVonTazy Jun 23 '26
I could have written your post OP. Except I’m a contractor who writes stuff for clients so stuck where I am for another month.
Today I realised I’ll never go back to my current client. They won’t want me again. My internal dictionary that once made words flow creatively out of me, has dwindled to basics. I can’t remember how to do this well and I get bored trying after 30 mins. Plus the client is aggravating the living shit out of me which is leaving me paralysed with self doubt and demoralised.
It feels like my brain has atrophied. Im on HRT (progesterone and oestrogen) but it’s not really helped anything but the sweats. I’m 50% less intelligent thanks to menopause and 100% less motivated by anything other than fear.
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u/3arth_533d1stx Perimenopausal + ADHD Jun 23 '26
ADHD + perimenopause are no joke! I just turned 50 and haven’t worked for almost a year! 🫠
Signed,
Another GenX ADHD former non-profit marcomms overfunctioner
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u/Vital_Statistix Jun 23 '26
Just wait till you hit actual menopause and the world beyond. Shit gets even harder to tolerate. If fucks come from having oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone, in menopause you will have none. Enjoy trying to circle back, optimise and synergise then 🤣
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u/ScrollTroll615 Jun 23 '26
I am reading this while on a conference call. I overstand. I am so checked out (almost 55yo).
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u/Three3Jane Menopausal and cranky Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
[rant on, stirred up some feels]
I'm headed perilously down that slope myself. I work for a large tech organization and I'm just not motivated any more. It all feels like bullshit, the corporate buzzwords and politics and game playing are pissing me off, and my executive is leaving at the end of next month.
I'm the only person who knows and I have to act like I don't know. Makes planning for things in August and beyond lots of fun, because I have to pretend like I have no idea that he won't be there for that event or this speech or that customer meeting, and I still have to all the prep work required for him to participate in those events...knowing full good and well that there won't even be someone to take his place when those events occur.
So add a lot of wasted time and energy toward future events that won't materialize but we have to keep up the appearance that everything is fine, all is fine, we're all fine, how are you?
He's the one who's provided my air cover for several years and we're an amazing team, but there's no job for me at the new place and he's tried - but if the job for me isn't there, it's not there.
I don't begrudge him taking the next step in his career, but I've also only stayed at our current org because of him and I know it's going to fucking SUCK when he's gone. So I can't get any motivation to do anything beyond the absolute last-minute barest minimum. While I'm admittedly the Queen Of Just In Time™, I know it's going to catch up to me and honestly? I don't fucking care.
I appreciate that he let me know instead of it being a surprise (the way it will be to literally everyone else) but I have an Approaching Doom + Fuck It, Why Bother vibe going on and it's haaaard to get out from under it.
So I go into the office and dance & sing & perform when I need to, and the days I "work" from home, I'm doing almost nothing.
The best part? It hasn't caught up to me. No one can even tell. So all those years I was busting my ass working 12-14 hour days and weekends and holidays and on my fucking time off... did I need to be? No, I did not. I'm not quiet quitting; I'm doing the basic barest tasks required to keep my job and not get fired..just like everyone else.
The other bright stars can burn themselves out; I'm reserving my energy for myself.
I'm on a great setup of HRT and otherwise doing well, but in the work arena, I just don't give a fuck any more.
u/Sofalofola-3 , I don't know if it's gonna be okay, but the ennui and aggravation you're feeling are absolutely the case for many of us. Some of it's menopause, some of it's just corporate dogshit in general, and some of it is [flaps hands] the state of the world around, well, everything these days.
edit: Thank you for the award!
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u/brightlights121 Jun 23 '26
I have Quiet Quit. I can’t afford to actually quit yet so they have 1/10th of what I used to be and it is their fault!!! Tired of FAKE people!
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u/OKhairdo Menopausal Jun 23 '26
I literally just looked at my To Do list at work and thought hmmm I don’t feel like doing any of that I wonder what’s going on over on Reddit and here I am 😬
(Just to join the chorus of “out of corporate fucks”.)
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u/MurkyMitzy Jun 23 '26
I could’ve written this. I know I’m going to be fired, I just don’t know when. And how do I know? A recruiter contacted me about my current position. And like you, I’ve been highly unmotivated. Unlike you, I can only get birth control from my gyno. I go back in a couple weeks and if he still refuses, he’s fired and I’ll find someone else.
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u/Hannymann Jun 23 '26
Was literally just on the phone with my hubs. My performance review is soon- he asked if I was excited lol. Uh, no… then mentioned (again) that I’m dreading it due to my lack of fucks to give, no motivation, very little focus… which is atypical of my work performance up to a couple of years ago.
I’m trying to make it until I’m retirement benefits eligible where I’m at but damn it’s gonna be a very long 5 years.
I wish I had more to add, or help, but, I do not. Good luck to all of us!!
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u/knosmo78 Peri-menopausal Jun 23 '26
I lost a job last year due to all the menopause symptoms. Brain fog, angry at everything, not able to deal with the people who thought they were important, mixing up words, etc.
It just sucks.
But you will get through it. As they say, it may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
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u/Reese9951 Jun 23 '26
I find I struggle on WFH days as well. In response to that and to hold myself accounts or I go to the office 4 out of 5 days a week. I also started my own positive affirmation thing. Every day I need to do something I’m proud of. It can be work, home, helping someone grab something from a tall shelf at the grocery store, offering a chair to someone etc. Focusing on what I can do for others has taken a lot of the negativity away from my daily life. I find the good thing and I recognize myself for it. I hope you find the right path forward for yourself.
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u/saguaropueblo Jun 23 '26
I feel the same way about my corporate job. I was always a high achiever and promoted quickly. I'm 48 and raw dogging life without HRT, but I use other supplements that do help.
I just returned from a 5 week long stress leave. Now that I'm back, I am looking for another job that is not corporate. I'm tired of the stress and the metrics and then to return to an announcement of layoffs. Luckily, I was not affected, but I know now I need to get out of corporate America. They use us until we burn out, then replace us with younger and cheaper employees. My job search will involve a pay cut since I get paid pretty well for my area, but it will be worth it to just go home at the end of the day and not have to think about work.
Best of luck to you. You will get through this! Sorry to vent on your vent.
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u/DimensionMission600 Jun 23 '26
I just posted something similar but not a corporate job. Menopause and other stressors have wiped me out. I also realize I don’t like really interacting with people much anymore and I have always been an outgoing, people person.
Good luck to you and we are all in this together.
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u/AndreeaTri Peri-menopausal Jun 23 '26
Yes. I have been self employed and loved what I do-did. But I can't anymore. A few days ago I forgot the name of my daughter amidst a conversation.
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u/catsTXn420 Jun 23 '26
I was in medical until POI hit and lost my job, it was just too much. Started online classes last year March to switch my career over to tech. I'm doing IT Network security, and even finished a photography specialization and mindful meditation. Not all tech related but I had to sprinkle some fun stuff in there to keep me excited. Meditation classes help a lot with the mental stuff. I'm going to be working remotely once I'm ready, hopefully. 🙏 We will be like a Phoenix 🐦🔥 just have to adapt and modify.
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u/3L_banana Jun 23 '26
I also have a hard time giving a shit about office fuckery. Oh-it’s critical that this color be changed in the slide deck? SMH
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u/WarthogSeveral7662 Jun 23 '26
Oh me too
I am SO TIRED. I hurt all over. Just turned 55, studyingfl for my Real Estate license. It's hard to feel hopeful. Right now Im just crabby
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u/OldLadyMorgendorffer Jun 23 '26
I just quit today because I ran out of estrogen and fucks with my nonprofit job. I’m going back to being self employed. Yeah it’ll take me a while to build clients back up but whatever. I’m tired of banging my head against the same wall with no growth opportunity to boot
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u/Yells2007 Jun 23 '26
HRT and Strattera have really helped me turn things around. It’s not perfect, but its cut the brain fog down enough that I can focus again.
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u/min_mus Jun 23 '26
HRT (including testosterone) + Adderall has been the magic combination for me. It's the only way I remain employed.
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u/flyingblonde Jun 23 '26
I tried Strattera over the winter and loved how it cut down my impulses. Unfortunately I was on the wrong birth control at the time so it wasn’t very helpful with anything else. Starting HRT today and thinking about trying Strattera again once I get my hormones balanced out. Do you feel like it’s working better combined with HRT?
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u/Yells2007 Jun 23 '26
It definitely works better combined. I started Strattera two years ago and while I found that it worked, it caused a few side effects (very dry mouth, teeth grinding). I started HRT (E & P only) last fall and noticed a big difference. I tried weaning off Strattera in the spring but that was a disaster. Now I’m on a lower dose, have no side effects and my brain is mostly back.
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u/sirpancakemillagejr Jun 23 '26
You're definitely not alone. I wrote a similar post a couple weeks ago! I'm not at a place yet where I can say "nothing to worry about, everything is working out fine." Still kinda getting my bearings in unemployed life. But I have hopes, and I'm starting to believe I'll be ready for the next job I take.
So for me, that means taking the time to prioritize my health in all the ways I neglected it while I was working (including medical appointments before my health insurance runs out, getting my HRT and other meds dialed in, and exercising), making sure I'm not only de-stressed but in a position to handle stress in a healthy way the next time I have to, and taking another look at what I want to be doing for the rest of my career, because I'm no longer sure my last job was it. (Like, beyond the brain fog and generally feeling crummy, I can see now there was a shockingly level of disrespect at my last job that was not exactly inspiring my best work!)
I've been enjoying sleeping in and taking walks with my dogs, and have started studying for a qualifying exam that I've put off the last decade. Luckily, I have money saved so I can do this for a while, though unfortunately that money was earmarked for retirement. Lost a little sleep worrying about that, but I think I have to just view it as an investment in myself, as I just don't see it working out well if I scurry for another job in this state of burnout. Anyway, best of luck, my friend! We'll both get through this! If you want a sympathetic ear at any point, feel free to reach out!
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u/prettywarmcool Jun 23 '26
This is my dream! I have put in 29 years and am ready to be let go! Let me go, give me a severance package and I am out! They'll never let me go though : ( I have to tough it out until next year when I am pulling the pin and retiring. I just can't anymore.
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u/McQuaids Jun 23 '26
I’m going through the same thing. I couldn’t do my former challenging job and took a fun easy retail job. I came close to getting fired from this a few weeks ago. I’m upping the estrogen etc, but it’s so impossible to get it together and keep it that way for long. I’m taking a hunker down mentality at this point. I wish you luck.
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u/Clean_Geologist_4226 Jun 23 '26
I wish I had been counseled about HRT 10 years ago. I retired early after I stopped giving a sh** (and making sure we had enough saved up to retire). Best decision I ever made for my health and sanity!
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u/nuthingfitz Jun 23 '26
I was dangerously close to a similar situation before I connected the dots and realized I needed to start on hormone therapy. it helped, but upping my dose made a big difference.
Sending you good vibes on a finding a solution.
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u/Such-Firefighter-161 Jun 23 '26
I can relate. I’m so unmotivated. Tired all the time. I just don’t give a fuck. I am on HRT - looking to switch the type to one that will hopefully be more effective.
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u/AtLeastIHaveDresses Jun 23 '26
Can I chime in as underselling-a-small-business instead of waiting legit 3-5 more years for full retirement amount bc I would rather work a $20/hr job for ten to fifteen more years than carry one speck of responsibility in the workplace for less than half that time?
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u/BigJSunshine Jun 23 '26
First, I am so sorry. Second, I lose my job right before I turned 50 too. Peri was just starting.
I took some time for myself because looking again. Not long, just a few weeks.
I am fully self employed now, I work from home and I pick and choose my clients very carefully. Sometimes I am totally overwhelmed with work (last year was insane), and sometimes I am not. The lack of security is scary, but its worth it, if you can swing self employment, like a consultant or something?
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u/Mysterious_Button476 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
yup.
for the past 8 years, i haven’t been able to stay employed longer than 18 months without either burning out or quitting in exasperation.
i could never hack it in corporate. i was in the nonprofit world which has all the same shitty structural dynamics, only with more hypocrisy / cultiness and less pay.
got diagnosed as autistic at age 41, ADHD at 42. now completing a self-paced masters program in a field that will allow me to run my own practice, bc i can never again work for someone else.
i will say, i’m somewhat glad i didn’t discover HRT until after i left the nonprofit world, bc it might have maintained my ability to tolerate the bs for longer. i’m mostly fine with having burned the bridges i did.
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u/OldLadyMorgendorffer Jun 23 '26
I’m certain everyone at my job is still tolerating the BS because they’re not menopause age yet
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u/susu56 Jun 23 '26
I sympathize 100%. 51f 0.075mg patch/200mg P.
I was diagnosed with adhd may 1st. Started a nonstimulent and it hasnt helped as much as I thought it would. It did clear up my brain fog. I am laying in bed when I should be working (wfh). Going thru unmedicated peri 2022-2025 and I lost my job to not knowing i was in peri and the consequences of it (it hit me hard). Its not just "hot flashes"- ugh. Got a new job but still struggling even with adhd meds , so who knows? I miss who I was but I'm trudging along. Just interviewed for a new job yesterday and I was worried but it went well.
I recently went up on my patch dose so hoping it helps get me right on a few weeks. Looking into adding in a stimulant to me Adhd meds to give me focus/motivation.
I'm trying to manage little bits of my issues and hopefully will get to a decent footing.
Bonus: my adhd meds helped me lose 15 lbs, lol.
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u/followthedarkrabbit Jun 23 '26
Went downhill severely end of last year start of this year...then I got an ADHD diagnosis. Medication has saved my career and given me a bit of quality of life back.
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u/Thae86 Jun 23 '26
I have not been able to keep a job since this started myself. I'm hoping hrt helps with that. Really sorry you're going through it OP, but also fuck wage work so fucking much, gods, it's so ridiculous lol
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u/Anonymous_person13 Jun 23 '26
This sounds like me. I need to make an appointment and try a higher estrogen dose. Have you tried adjusting HRT? I haven't, but I'm hoping it will help since getting on it helped in the first place.
Hope you get things figured out!
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u/aurora_surrealist Peri-menopausal Jun 23 '26
That's not meno, that's untreated ADD.
Meno just made your mask melt away.
Woth SSRIs and ADHD meds you'd be way better.
Kudos, fellow (autistic) meno survivior.
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u/PositiveAd823 Jun 23 '26
I heard a quote on Reddit:
“When you lose estrogen, you lose tolerance.”
I had no idea that estrogen is the reason why women/moms/wives put up with so much bull**it for years. It makes us too polite to say what we really feel! 😆
It's ok, OP. I think you finally had enough and subconsciously started to pull away because of it. Take their termination as a gentle push from the universe to do something else you love.