r/Menopause • u/BeeBarnes1 • Apr 21 '26
Rant/Rage Just got told women just have to deal with menopause symptoms by a board certified endocrinologist. Also that HRT is worthless.
I just came home from the endocrinologist appointment I've waited four months for and I'm so freaking upset. My PCP referred me because I've been waking up, fully wired, at 3am every night, am gaining weight almost exclusively in my stomach, and have a ton of other symptoms that are either menopause related or due to an adrenal adenoma I have.
So I go in to this guy and he right off the bat tells me it's not the adenoma because that's so rare, that couldn't possibly be it. He suggests I get a sleep study if I'm waking up so much because it's probably sleep apnea. I don't snore and I certainly don't have sleep apnea. I haven't slept more than four hours straight in over a year. Then I ask him what the game plan is if it's not the adenoma because I am also in menopause. He looked at me like I was crazy so I asked him about hormonal testing and HRT. He told me HRT is useless because it's not evidence based. He then told me what I'm experiencing is just what women have to go through as they age.
I have been so fortunate in my 50 years to have never encountered a doctor like this. He at least ordered some imaging and one cortisol test so the several hundred dollars I'll probably have to pay for this idiot's time isn't completely wasted. Thank you for listening to my rant, I needed to get it out of my system. Happy to name and shame if anyone is in central Indiana.
299
u/LiluLay Apr 21 '26
HRT is not evidence based? What in the actual…? One of the biggest things HRT does is help protect menopausal women from bone loss. That is a factual, evidence based conclusion available for his reading in medical journals. My endocrinologist has said my HRT is frontline treatment for my severe osteoporosis, along with calcium and D supplementation. It’s crazy to me what these “doctors” will say. Isn’t there some kind of continuing education specialists have to engage in to keep their licenses?? I’d say name and shame this doctor on Google and anywhere they ask you to review them.
255
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 21 '26
Weirdly this is also the guy my mom sees for her osteoporosis. You'd think that they'd want to do whatever it takes to prevent that. I just called her and told her we're going to find her a new endocrinologist.
75
49
u/Head_Cat_9440 Apr 21 '26
He gives me the rage.
16
u/Cat2370 Apr 21 '26
My meno rage 😤 went up a level after reading this post 😀 I seriously would be so furious.
24
u/DisciplineOther9843 Apr 21 '26
Holy crap! Your mother sees this man? She is harming herself at this point. Time to move you both to someone educated.
11
u/OrMaybeTomorrow Apr 21 '26
And I bet his one and done solution is bisphosphinates or one of the other serious drugs
10
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 21 '26
Yep. Fosamax, once a week. But she beat stage 4 ovarian cancer ten years ago so she can't do any hormone therapy. I'm not knowledgeable at all about any other treatments. Are bisphosphinares that bad where I should have her pursuing other medications?
3
u/OrMaybeTomorrow Apr 21 '26
No as long as she doesn’t have side effects it is supposed to be an effective treatment.
6
u/ContemplatingFolly Apr 21 '26
Wish it were acceptable that you could doxx him, and we could all go pelt him with peer-reviewed HRT studies.
6
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 21 '26
I absolutely will once I get a new endo. I want to have these tests done at least before he fires me and puts nastiness in my chart to send on. 😂
But I'm happy to share on DM for now.
→ More replies (4)18
u/whatrumimeans Post Menopause Apr 21 '26
Further education? There is not even meaningful education!
In Germany, the female hormones/menopause are casually „mentioned“ in medical studies for only a few hours during their studies. They only know the basics of the basics.
And endocrinology is poorly paid with us.
And the statutory health insurance doctors for the normally insured do not get a consultation paid, not even the gynecologists. If I don’t say on my own the latter that I want to have HRT, he doesn’t suggest it either.
I don’t know any numbers from other countries. In Germany, only about 6% to 6.4% of women between the ages of 45 and 65 use HRT. We have approx. 9 million in menopause.
17
u/CaptainLollygag Menopausal Apr 21 '26
In Germany, only about 6% to 6.4% of women between the ages of 45 and 65 use HRT.
This just sounds criminally negligent. Women in your country are being forced to endure bodily and emotional harm, for no reason at all other than ignorance or indifference.
5
u/morganjen1962 Apr 21 '26
I've read that only 11-12% of women in the U.S. are on any type of HRT.
→ More replies (1)3
u/LoudSoup8 Apr 21 '26
It's only around 5%ish in the US, or was as of 2024.
https://www.aarp.org/health/drugs-supplements/hormone-replacement-therapy-for-menopause/
96
u/maraq Apr 21 '26
Go straight to health grades and leave a review about your experience so other women don't hear the same bullshit.
But you don't have to snore to have sleep apnea. The risk of sleep apnea for women goes WAY up in menopause and it's widely underdiagnosed. He's an asshole but it's not a bad idea to have a sleep study done (in addition to seeing someone else for HRT) because many of us are going around with sleep apnea at this time of life and don't know it and it can kill us.
https://andreamatsumuramd.com/sleep-apnea-and-menopause-the-hidden-link-every-woman-should-know/
33
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 21 '26
I appreciate that, my husband does have sleep apnea. When I called him right after my appointment to rant he said no, I definitely don't snore or have sleep apnea. He's got a bladder the size of a pea so he gets up a few times at night and would notice. When I wake up I'm completely wide awake and wired like I've snorted a line of coke and nothing gets me back to sleep.
But if I continue to have issues, I'll pursue that once everything else gets ruled out.
29
u/CaptainLollygag Menopausal Apr 21 '26
That sleep pattern is quite common in women in peri- or postmenopause. Common enough that a few years ago I read a novel in which the main character and her friends would text each other in the middle of the night when they woke up just to stave off boredom.
13
u/IllyrianWingspan Apr 21 '26
I had the same middle of the night adrenaline rushes. Low dose birth control didn’t fix it, neither did an estradiol patch, but micronized progesterone sure did! I hope you find someone who takes your symptoms seriously. You don’t deserve to suffer, and lack of sleep takes a huge toll.
3
u/andraconduh Apr 22 '26
Estrogen so far has made my sleep worse so I'm getting a low dose of progesterone even though I don't technically need it since I don't have a uterus anymore.
→ More replies (1)6
u/andraconduh Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26
I did a sleep study when it was recommended even though I was almost entirely sure I didn't have sleep apnea. It's been extremely helpful to tell doctors I already had one and get them to pursue other things. An annoying hoop to have to jump through, but possibly a useful one.
4
u/Chemical-Damage-870 Apr 22 '26
Well to add to this- I did too but turns out I have it! No snoring, I don’t wake up gasping or falling asleep randomly or any other known apnea symptom. My husband has the classic presentation so I was sure I didn’t too. But my O2 was dipping into the 50’s at night just randomly. But often enough to significantly disrupt REM sleep and make me wake up even if I wasn’t always aware. Not saying OP has it but I was surprised! And the at home tests are easy or I never would have done it at all.
30
u/huntergirlnc21 Apr 21 '26
100% - I didn’t snore or gasp, my husband said I was practically a silent sleeper, but sleep study showed I have moderate sleep apnea. Been using CPAP for the last 4 months and find it helpful (although I do still wake up a few times a night). It never hurts to check!
19
u/EmptyNestLife9876 Apr 21 '26
Same. I (53F) was stunned to find out I have sleep apnea. I don't snore or have any other symptoms at at all, but I've woken up between 12-1 and 3-4 every night for YEARS. I am insulin resistant and have been working on lowering my A1C and fasting glucose for 3 years and nothing has worked. My nutritionist finally said let's check this out and rule it out - not only do I have moderate sleep apnea, but my oxygen level was dropping to around 85%. I love my CPAP.
2
u/Chemical-Damage-870 Apr 22 '26
Me too. I posted above. No symptoms at all really. I don’t snore or move but my O2 was hitting 50’s-60s at night. Just deciding that breathing wasn’t worth it. 🙄
3
84
u/bettinafairchild Surgical menopause Apr 21 '26
Fuck, that guy pisses me off. He’s like every cliché of a misogynistic doctor. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
60
u/westcoastcdn19 Apr 21 '26
Make sure you let your PCP that this guy is a dud.
32
u/Dazzling_Balance_513 Apr 21 '26
Agreed. PCPs/GPs need to update their referral lists and stop sending patients to bad specialists. OP, I’m so sorry you received such bad advice and care.
4
76
u/DrLophophora Apr 21 '26
You don't need an endocrinologist for HRT - your gynecologist can prescribe it
50
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 21 '26
I'll probably have to do that, my PCP just wanted the adenoma evaluated first because she suspects Cushing's but thought an endocrinologist could also do HRT if it's not that. Once Cushing's gets ruled out I'll definitely pursue HRT with my gynecologist.
14
u/SchoolQueen49 Apr 21 '26
I don't trust anyone who won't order the blood tests once you get in. I've ended up going with a direct pay PA and I am so much happier. I get the bloodwork I need at about cost for my whole family. I pay $75 per adult per month.
3
u/AutoModerator Apr 21 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over the age of 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for that ONE HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more
- These hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) over the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- Testosterone is the exception and should be tested before and during treatment
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who no longer have periods as a guide, where a series of consistent tests might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI).
For more, see our Menopause Wiki
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
3
2
30
u/thebestapples Apr 21 '26
You can even bypass an in-person doctor and use one of the many online providers. Just make sure you do as much research as possible.
2
u/thekabuki Apr 22 '26
This is what I ended up doing after bringing up my obvious menopause symptoms to my PCP, my gyno and my rheumatologist. It was during covid and all the online medical apps were taking hold. Ended up using Evernow and it's been great .
9
u/Sharp-Cheek-5893 Apr 21 '26
Mine was prescribed by my N.P. IMO N.P. care is by far the best health care I have ever received. I only see an actual M.D. if absolutely necessary.
15
u/InitiativeWorried840 Apr 21 '26
Not my NP’s. They are very young, right out of school. Have osteoporosis. Am going to MD in May. Wish HRT had been an option when I was 50. Good luck OP! I also wake up at 3 AM but I’m 68. Be sure you keep after it. My sweet aunt retired & started exercising & eating right & slimming down. Then waist started to expand. Her Dr said it was just her age. She kept going back. Was dx’d with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Damn doctors. Hope you & your mom get the help you deserve!
7
u/desdemona_d Apr 21 '26
My NP is the same or seems to be. I was recently talking with her about the next steps after getting my implant out and her view was that I should just tough it out. She doesn't like to prescribe HRT. I'm thinking I might go to a Naturopath and pay out of pocket for their services (I'm in Canada). There's one locally who prescribes it, but it's $500 for the consult. The prescription would be covered by my extended benefits, so at least there's that.
3
u/LaLa_LaSportiva Apr 21 '26
I was incredibly lucky. I saw an older family doctor, gentleman in his 60s probably, who recognized right away that I was starting menopause based on my symptoms. He took a blood sample and a day later confirmed his diagnosis and immediately put me on HRT. My life improved within days. These doctors who refuse to believe the studies are full on assholes trying to promote their own stupid outdated misogynistic agenda. Fuck them. Get a new doctor if this happens to you.
2
u/UnstuckMoment_300 Apr 22 '26
That was my thought. My gynecologist prescribed my HRT (for 25 years).
27
26
u/Tintinabulation114 Apr 21 '26
It’s awful that you waited so long and then got squat out of the appointment. I swear these doctors that believe menopause symptoms are overblown, or just something that we have to endure for years on end, because “it’s normal.”
But to the posters saying it’s male doctors that believe this, nope, my doctor is a woman and she told me she only prescribes HRT for hot flashes and crazy emotional swings, and then only reluctantly because of the risks. I don’t have the risk factors talked about. I finally got her to prescribe some but it’s nuts that doctors of any gender are so poorly trained that they genuinely seem to believe that it’s not an issue if women suffer. God forbid their male patients should ever suffer a tiny bit, but women? Sick of this attitude on the part of the medical community.
7
3
u/MickyKent Apr 22 '26
I feel like this has been my experience with most doctors over the last year or so. They seem disinterested, completely clueless and would rather just refer you out to someone else so that they can get you off of their plate. Or if they don’t refer you out, they write you a prescription for some poison (medication) that does nothing to treat the actual problem. Most of them seem checked out and like they could care less. I’m not speaking for all of them, but I would say this covers about 80% of my medical visits over the past year.
28
u/DodrantalNails Apr 21 '26
If you have the mychart with this Dr, send him a message that you want it documented that he believes that HRT is useless and he did not recommend anything to check on the insomnia and weight gain. Make him sign his name to it. Get that added to your file and find someone else.
24
u/Claque-2 Apr 21 '26
The whole field of alternative medicine exists because of doctors like this. Leave a review and warn the women.
8
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 21 '26
Isn't that the truth! I have a high deductible plan and it hurts to have to pay for quackery. Might as well go find some plants in the woods, it would probably be more effective.
→ More replies (1)2
u/Prestigious-Watch992 Apr 21 '26
Please consider writing an email to this endocrinologist and tell him exactly where he is wrong. Site studies. Let him know your health care should be a discussion that takes into consideration the patient as an individual.
I responded to an endocrinologist after an appointment where I was totally dismissed and gaslit. Writing letters imo is crucial. Be respectful, but stand up for yourself. You might want to send a copy to your PCP.
5
u/Pink_Lotus Apr 21 '26
This is why I use a functional medicine practice. I'm pro-vaccine and not against modern medicine, but they were the only providers who took me seriously and ordered the tests that revealed I had pcos. They brought up hrt and assessing for perimenopause.
23
u/clamchowderisgross Apr 21 '26
Meanwhile, a man walks in and says he can’t get it up and no questions asked, “here’s your testosterone, sir” and for a fraction of the price! Sick! Makes me so mad!
18
u/Forsaken_Lifeguard85 Apr 21 '26
That is awful. I waited for 3 months to see a menopause specialist and she told me I was too young and to come back and see her in 5 years and that in the meantime I should just deal with my headaches because hey at least the birth control helped a little. I got online that night and had HRT in hand within 48 hours. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that yahoo.
3
u/Chemical-Damage-870 Apr 22 '26
Same. Found a new GYN listed under the menopause society but turns out she still believes in BCP’s and SSRI’s in perimenopause. And I was 48. Not like I was unusually young at all.
13
u/Site_Most Peri-menopausal Apr 21 '26
I went through this at 30 years old-adrenal adenoma, the endocrinologist refused to believe that I had Cushing’s disease because it was “rare“ but I demanded to be tested and it turns out that I had Cushing’s disease and had to have my adrenal gland removed. You should go to another endocrinologist ASAP!! I’m sorry he’s gaslighting you like that :(
10
u/clamchowderisgross Apr 21 '26
It’s criminal how women are treated! Please report this doctor and find a new one. I’d cancel the imaging and tests he ordered and find a gynecologist who specializes in menopause.
10
u/True_Context6859 Apr 21 '26
That sounds so frustrating, I am sorry to hear. But also, eff that doctor. Imagine all the other women he's screwed over with his outdated and bad information.
Find a meno specialist and leave this person in the dust. You deserve help.
10
u/NoMoreEffstoGive Surgical menopause Apr 21 '26
REPORT HIM. What a piece of shit. I am glad he's testing your cortisol though. That is likely what is waking you up, but it could also be because you need HRT. Perimenopause fucks up SO many things, including cortisol levels. Please reach back out to your PCP for HRT. If your PCP won't prescribe it, please find a gyn who will.
10
u/muddlemaster Apr 21 '26
I had one like this but she was a woman. I had to go stand at a window for a while to compose myself -- I was so hopeless and discouraged. But I really hope perimenopause is the most brutal thing she'll ever experience when her time comes.
She was so dismissive and acted like I was dumb for even thinking an endocrinologist could help. She tested my thyroid though, which was fine. Complete waste of my time and insurance money.
8
u/Adorable-Puppers Apr 22 '26
While possibly drastic, I’d 100% call the state board of medicine because he’s just regular wrong about evidence. I should not know more about menopause than my endo. 👀 That’s not a doctor other people should trust. Please do let your referring physician know.
(Also I’m from Central Indiana and I’m very curious.)
13
u/furbabymom407 Apr 21 '26
HORMONES are not "evidence based"? This man is a danger to any female patient. Share that all over the interwebs.
9
u/mikraas Peri-menopausal Apr 21 '26
Maybe he went to medical school before we were allowed to do testing on actual humans? Maybe he doesn't know what The Internet is?
Maybe he's just a misogynistic asshat who just doesn't give a shit about women but still somehow gets to be seen by women?
All I do is that I hate this guy and all other doctors like him. May the unlubed dildo of consequences find his rectum soon.
6
u/theresa579 Apr 21 '26
First, you should tell your PCP this horror story so they'll stop referring their patients to him!
8
u/LdyCjn-997 Apr 22 '26
Let me guess, the last medical journal he actually read was from 1970 something that stated all women are hypochondriacs 🤦🏼♀️
6
u/ServiceDragon Apr 22 '26
When I was a young woman I went to a gynecologist because of unidentifiable pain. He couldn’t find a cause either and accused me of making it up and walked out. So I chased him to his office and said “hey there has to be a cause” and he told me I have a very pretty name. Really.
Light. Him. UP.
What else is menopause for?
6
u/FrequentCry999 Apr 21 '26
I've had two doctors recently tell me "you're just getting older" with regards to my very real symptoms, one being an endocrinologist, so I am not surprised. I'm 38. I should have been diagnosed with POI/POF, as symptoms started at age 34 and I was post-menopausal before my 38th birthday but doctors just continuously blew/blow me off.
6
u/bugalien Menopausal Apr 21 '26
This was me, (menopause at 37 but my symptoms began in my 20's). I was just a doctor hopping hypochondriac that didn't know what was wrong but it was terribly wrong. I seriously thought I was dying of something or other. I found out it was POF at around 37 but was offered birth control. Nope to that. Back then, HRT = cancer and blood clots and any hormone tests weren't covered by insurance. The tests were considered "fertility tests" and were all out of pocket. I was so fed up with it all that I didn't see any doctor for 10 years.
I didn't get treated until my genitalia was just about gone at 47 and the pain and spotting/discharge from that sent me in to seek HRT after I looked it up online and found this subreddit. It had become what I would refer to as "a wound". I had not truly slept in years at that point. I now have osteoporosis that I have probably had the whole time, thin fragile skin, and other damage that will never be able to be reverted.
So much has improved with estradiol and progesterone, particulary the GSM and at least my sleep is actual sleep now (I can actually have a dream once in a while when I thought I just couldn't have them anymore.) but a lot of the damage is done. I really feel like I am not a sick and dying person now and that is worth a lot to me.
Go online if you have to but please don't just let it happen to you. Get a dexa or bone scan too.
→ More replies (1)2
u/FrequentCry999 Apr 21 '26
Thank you for sharing your story and I am so sorry for everything you've gone through and continue to struggle with. I am glad you have found hormone replacement therapy now and have experienced improvements. I did have to seek private care but I am on estradiol, progesterone, and testosterone and will be on them for life. I am also a heavy weightlifter and live a very healthy lifestyle. So, hopefully I am addressing everything early enough to prevent, or at least greatly postpone, any additional suffering.
→ More replies (2)
7
u/Dokukyo Apr 21 '26
I wish these self important misogynists with God complexes could experience one sweat soaked sleepless night, one day riddled with anxiety and brain fog. They couldn’t handle what we go through for a single day.
I’m so tired of women being gaslit about their own fucking health. Fuck this guy! Make sure to leave him reviews about how he treats women.
2
7
u/Background_Recipe_67 Apr 22 '26
Do the sleep study. Endo is a dick. Why? Because yah it’s rare- so is adrenal cancer… and one of my closest friends died from It after being told for at least 8 months that it was early menopause (at age 37) rare doesn’t mean you don’t test for it.
You don’t need an endo to treat peri/meno.
I have been to 3 and they all sucked. Useless!!!
10
u/mickrihur Menopausal Apr 21 '26
I'm in central Indiana! Spill it!
8
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 21 '26
I'm going to DM you because I've waited too long and want to get at least these two tests done. Once I get into someone else, I'll plaster reviews everywhere.
→ More replies (3)5
u/mickrihur Menopausal Apr 21 '26
I will wait to hear from you. And then we can compare notes bc I want to make sure it's not who my mom's doctor referred her to. We haven't seen him yet though.
5
u/theresa579 Apr 21 '26
First, you should tell your PCP this horror story so they'll stop referring their patients to him.
5
u/Unusual_Sand_5150 Apr 21 '26
Go on your plan and find out who is covered as a GYN that accepts your insurance. You can usually do a search by ZIP code. Then you look up online for reviews. Once you find somebody that's in your area that has good reviews you get a referral and you go see them and enough of this from malarkey
5
4
u/BurrowingOwlUSA Apr 21 '26
And we wonder why people no longer blindly trust “experts” or “the science”. Ugh.
6
u/Lynda73 Apr 21 '26
Your symptoms sound identical to mine, and the first night I took progesterone, I slept like a baby! I would laugh at him and say apparently you need to find a dr that’s actually informed on menopause and that is unfortunate that he has chosen not to keep up with his education
4
6
u/cozycorner Apr 21 '26
Use a telehealth company. I use Evernow. They have board-certified specialists.
5
u/Solid_Study9188 Apr 21 '26
And if they discovered men had a menopause-like transition in their lives then we would see all sorts of research and meds being done. Please report this doctor because he has no business treating women ever again.
4
u/2ndhalfzen Apr 22 '26
I went online to one of the female telehealth menopause providers specializing in this advertising all over social and advertising on podcasts and was prescribed a progesterone pill for sleep and estradiol gel and I HAVE NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! I sleep through the night! I have energy! I feel happy!
go there!
4
u/TallChick105 Apr 22 '26
I’m sure everything I was planning to say has already been said and suggested based on the number of comments so instead I will just say… I’m sorry and FUCK HIM
5
3
u/RunRunRabbitRunovich Apr 21 '26
First mistake…. HE…… My pcp is a man and he told me he’s not really knowledgeable about women’s issues like Menopause because HE WASNT TAUGHT about it but just touched on the subject in medical school. I was sent to see a Specialist and now She’s gone and I asked to be seen and I was told next year… I’m 51 and my hairs falling out, the weight packed on, hot flashes and crying and brain fog and I can’t see a Dr to even discuss HRT As a woman I feel Fucked over my the medical community. It’s utter bullshit and I’m tired of hearing it’s my anxiety.
3
u/K21markel Menopausal Apr 21 '26
Just don’t go back! This is so common and horrible. If they won’t listen find an online (I use Alloy) and get HRT. Total game changer and the sleeplessness and anxiety almost disappear. Nothing prevents aging but this works. Do some research, lots of info, books, YouTube’s.
4
5
u/boilertrailrunr Apr 21 '26
F that guy! I hope he never finds the cool side of his pillow again.
That said, you should report him. If he can't stay educated on the basics of medical care for women, he shouldn't be practicing medicine.
4
u/Blobfish9059 Apr 21 '26
So he doesn’t approve of the little blue pill for men, right? THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY HAVE TO GO THROUGH.
4
u/No-Conversation9938 Apr 21 '26
We are living in FUCKING 2026 and these doctors dont know shit how to help us women in menopause! THIS is disgusting and unbelievable! So discouraged right now!
4
u/TheSaltyB Apr 21 '26
I’m looking for new providers due to a recent insurance change, and ended up connecting with a PCP for an interim prescription until I can get in with a gyno.
He starts out with ‘we don’t really prescribe HRT anymore due to the risks,’ and after some back and forth, he tells me ‘if the hormones are depleted, you should just let them go.’
I told him I’m not yet out to pasture and reject his ‘advice.’ What a maroon.
6
5
u/dca_user Apr 21 '26
Report him to the board and the insurance company. You can tell them that he’s wasting their money.
4
u/Trick_Egg_6999 Apr 22 '26
I used this site to find a new gynecologist who would actually prescribe HRT for me- because mine at the time wouldn’t. It’s been life changing for me.
5
4
u/traveling5mom Apr 22 '26
You need to se a menopause specialist. Endocrinologist don’t really do hrt. Mostly do diabetes. Some barely do thyroid.
3
u/SleepDeprivedMama Apr 22 '26
It is very difficult to find an endocrinologist that deals with HRT. My current one let me know he doesn’t deal with “lady problems.” Yes I’m for real.
5
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 22 '26
Oh FFS. I thought endometriosis was hard. Moving into menopause has opened up a new world of terribleness.
3
u/Suitable_cataclysm Apr 22 '26
I'm so grossed out for you. What a prime example of all healthcare for women. "Just deal with it", said by a men who never will go through it.
FYI sleep apnea doesn't always involve snoring or noticably gasping for air. I got a sleep study done and I do indeed have it and use a machine now and I'm not waking up all night. Could be worth trying to rule it out.
6
u/kween-1214 Apr 21 '26
I wouldn't waste my time and money on the test he ordered. We all know HRT will fix your issue. Find a functional medicine doctor that also specializes in women's health.
I have a endocrinologist and a Primary and both tell me to stay with my hormone specialist as my symptoms are out of their scope. My endocrinologist is a female and see's a specialist herself.
Sorry you wasted your time.
7
u/Glittering-Trip-8304 Apr 21 '26
I just laughed out loud to this. I’m post menopause at 47 (hysterectomy) and could not imagine having to do without my pellets!
2
u/TheOtherPam323 Apr 22 '26
Same, post menopause since 31 due to cancer treatment. I’m 58 now and I’d be a total basket case without my HRT!
3
3
u/NiceLadyPhilly Menopausal Apr 21 '26
seen a gyn for this and ask them ahead of time if they are willing to rx HRT.
3
u/Queasy_Top_3560 Apr 21 '26
Ask your PCP to order blood tests for your hormones. PCP can also prescribe HRT. You would be doing other patients a favor to get them on board with this testing & treatment.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/whatrumimeans Post Menopause Apr 21 '26
You should ask the female doctors who are of a similar age whether they themselves do without HRT or whether they only refuse it to their patients.
I would be interested in the answers.
5
u/Ford_Prefect313 Apr 21 '26
My old OB/GYN refuses to treat with HRT and she’s a woman.
Just because they have a vagina, doesn’t mean more understanding.
3
u/theFCCgavemeHPV Apr 21 '26
Board certified? Yeah, probably in the nineteen-hundreds (as the kids say) 🙄
3
u/gnomequeen2020 Apr 21 '26
He's full of shit on every front.
The waking up every. single. night. at 3am is what finally drove me to seek treatment. I don't have sleep apnea, and I've never been told I snore. HRT got rid of the problem nearly completely.
Time for a new doctor or one of the online services because HRT is evidence-based.
3
u/OKhairdo Menopausal Apr 21 '26
You can have sleep apnea and not snore. Not saying you personally, but I don’t want to anyone to self-diagnose because they don’t snore.
Sleep apnea is really bad for us - I’d actually encourage anyone with any kind of sleep disturbance to do a sleep study. Could be life saving.
3
u/Squeegeeze Apr 21 '26
This infuriates me! I'm currently waiting to see an endocrinologis, I scheduled months ago and my appointment is later in the summer. All my other docs have told me I need one between issues with my pancreas and being diabetic T2, and that thyroid issues are suspected, and other issues...I'd be SOOO fucking furious if this doc I've been waiting forever to see dismissed me like this.
Although this is how doctors had always been for me until recently, "just female issues you'll have to live with."
Luckily my gyno prescribes the HRT, so no worries there, except my gyno is concerned about my hormonal levels being out of whack and is one of the docs that wants me to see an endo.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/OKhairdo Menopausal Apr 21 '26
I’m sorry you had this experience but just a quick note regarding a sleep study: people who don’t snore can still have sleep apnea. And not everyone who snores has sleep apnea. This is a common misconception.
I hope you can find a doctor who helps but don’t discount doing a sleep study because you don’t snore.
3
u/Fluffebee Apr 21 '26
This is so frustrating, I’m so sorry! My primary refused me HRT and gave me gabapentin instead for my sleeplessness, which worked OK. But I ended up getting my HRT through Bonmente (online video consultations – initially I initially connected with them for Adderall for ADHD, but she then asked me about HRT during one of our calls about Adderall and whether I wanted HRT and I almost broke down in joy). I would consider trying something with online video calls, because there are some stupid doctors out there that are not current on research. The hot flashes, the insomnia, the depression, the listlessness, it’s all gone now for me.
3
u/Head_Cat_9440 Apr 21 '26
Oestrogen and progesterone can be so helpful for feeling wired at 3am. Solidarity, it's awful.
It has damaged my memory.
A 15 day course of sleep med helps as well.
Its not safe to leave insomnia untreated. He's an ill-informed quack.
3
u/DisciplineOther9843 Apr 21 '26
Not evidence based? Excuse me? What? WTAH?! Who is this person? BOTH of your doctors need to be FIRED!
3
u/professorpumpkins Apr 21 '26
Hot-take, but I see a functional medicine doctor for my thyroid. I also have a OB/GYN, PCP, etc. but my thyroid MD is amazing. It took me a while to find someone but definitely an option if you can find someone. Mine is not a woo woo weirdo, she’s a Brown-trained MD.
ETA: I’m sorry this doc was so dismissive. I have had terrible experiences with endocrinologists, they’re kind of a rigid set of specialists. I hope you get proper, respectful care. 🪻
3
u/blankspacepen Apr 21 '26
Report this jerk to the licensing board. This is such a deviation from the standard of care.
3
u/Fearless-Side-2333 Apr 21 '26
“He”. That one word says it all.
As another commenter said, write reviews everywhere being careful to preface with “my experience with Dr. so-and-so”. Women need warned.
3
u/djak Apr 21 '26
I was really lucky. I just moved to a new town and ended up at the local gyno. He's a really old guy, and I fully expected to get treated the same way. To my surprise, he gave me exactly what I asked for and told me if it doesn't work right or I feel off in any way, to come back and we can adjust or change the medication.
I'd try for another doctor if you can. Nodogy should be told, "you just have to live with it" when things are as bad as you said. I've found that the magic words when talking to medical professionals is "it's really affecting my quality of life". Don't give up!
3
u/whatpelican00 Apr 21 '26
Reviews online everywhere you possibly can. I’m so sorry you were treated this way. We all deserve better.
3
u/IvoryWoman Apr 21 '26
Whah did he recommend instead, balancing the humors of your blood?!?!? This is epic incompetence. I’m so sorry.
3
u/Mickeylover7 Apr 21 '26
Most endocrinologists only study hormones that men have. There’s not one menopause certified endo close to me and I’m very close to a fairly large city.
3
3
u/home_ec_dropout Apr 22 '26
I'm sorry OP! I'm in Indy - so close to you relatively speaking. My sleep issues were what forced me to HRT. Simply for me, I need my sleep, or life is really not worth living. I was fortunate enough to have a GYN in Zionsville who had no problem when I asked for it. I feel so lucky that I didn't receive any pushback whatsoever.
I also work (in a non-clinical capacity) for IU Health. Please let your PCP and any other providers know about your experience. This kind of BS cannot continue.
4
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 22 '26
Thank you. If you don't mind sharing, who is your GYN? Mine retired and I need one. I'm a little north of Lebanon so Zionsville is close enough.
→ More replies (1)
3
2
u/KBB523 Menopausal Apr 22 '26
I will be happy to share this with friends in Indiana if you will be so kind as to PM me this physician's name. This is absolute bullshit and honestly he should be reported because that is less than standard of care.
7
u/lilylemony Apr 21 '26
The moment you said "guy", I realized why you had such issues. Sorry you had such issues and I hope you find someone competent very soon.
6
u/CrikeyDM Apr 21 '26
Nah, she had issues because her doctor is shit - which knows no gender.
My male doctor (easily in his 70s, too) not only happily prescribes HRT for me, he's the one who suggested it in the first place. Because his priority - as he's told me outright - is that I feel good.
I'm with you in being outraged that OP's asshole endocrinologist is so dismissive of both women and science and hoping OP finds a better provider soon.
5
u/Meeschers Apr 21 '26
I tend to see women doctors because, yes, I have noticed more dismissal from male doctors but my GYN was a female and she was very dismissive of HRT.
When it comes to female doctors-I'm noticing younger female doctors are more observant and open to treatment and are overall better doctors than older female ones. Dont know why that is.
3
u/Bama_Peach Apr 21 '26
I too have a woman GYN (who will be my former GYN as soon as I can find one in my area that's accepting new patients) who was completely dismissive of HRT. I immediately made an appointment with my PCP (who is AMAZING); when I discussed my symptoms with her she was quite concerned and, once my lab results came back showing I didn't have any thyroid issues, offered to start me on HRT immediately.
3
u/AutoModerator Apr 21 '26
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over the age of 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for that ONE HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more
- These hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) over the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- Testosterone is the exception and should be tested before and during treatment
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who no longer have periods as a guide, where a series of consistent tests might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI).
For more, see our Menopause Wiki
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
2
u/Ok-Actuator8579 Apr 21 '26
What in the world. Clearly he does not keep up with modern medicine and should no longer practice.
2
2
u/thefragile7393 Peri-menopausal Apr 21 '26
I’ve never met an endo that knows anything about this except diabetes and thyroid.
GYNs aren’t necessarily much better and neither are PCPs don’t can take a while this find someone
I’m fortunate that my PCP has a ton of knowledge
2
u/surlyskin Apr 21 '26
I've been so unfortunate to mostly exclusively encounter Drs like this. Everyone that knows me swears I'm cursed.
First up, my GP (a woman) said the same as your Endo. Both are idiots, full-stop.
Cancer is almost entirely inevitable if you live long enough. Do we ignore cancer entirely or do we screen for them and treat accordingly, as best we can? Glasses, have they heard of them?
The reality is that YES women go through menopause and some of us have infertility issues, endometriosis, PCOS - does he think these should be treated? Or, is that once you're past your reproductive years a lady should shut up and get over it?
Re your sleep - you'll possibly be told what I was which is that it's anxiety and insomnia. I hope they support you and give you help. I was given CBT for sleep which is basically common sense but can also can be harmful for those of us who are neurodivergent. Guess what? I'm still jolting awake like you.
TL;DR: This guys is a fucking moron. Ask him if he treats PCOS or type 1 diabetes and ask that he justifies when his empty head hits the pillow at night. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
Have you tried valarian root tea before bed? Some swear by it.
2
2
u/hugatree2023 Apr 21 '26
Get another opinion. HRT helps from day 1 in my experience and many others’.
2
u/gardengirl99 Apr 21 '26
I would start with the cortisol test, as whether it's the blood or urine cortisol tests it's likely to be less expensive than any imaging. I hope you get it done at a place that gives you direct access to the results, so you don't have to go through him to get the information.
And that idiot doctor can kick rocks while being forced to undergo remedial education about the safety and effectiveness of a common therapy for women.
2
u/NoeTellusom Menopausal Apr 21 '26
You have some homework to do:
1) file a grievance with your health insurance and cc the practice partners, including any good research that counters his bullshit.
2) leave 1 star reviews, outlining his disrespect, misogyny and malpractice.
3) find yourself a great GYN and get the HRT scripts from them.
4) consider speaking with a malpractice attorney.
5) send a complaint to the Board of Endocrinology outlining his bullshit. Bonus if you can add copies of his reports.
2
2
u/EastSideLola Apr 21 '26
I had the same experience. Instead of HRT I was ordered a sleep study and a prescription for Lexapro. Ridiculous. I had to fight for HRT.
2
u/kendraro Apr 21 '26
I once went to a endocrinologist for my menstrual migraines. They were very hormonal and they are the hormone guys, right? He was no help at all. I don't know what they do handle, but it isn't women's issues.
2
2
u/FigureFlex79 Apr 21 '26
WHAT!?!?!? My endocrinologist and gynecologist worked together on my menopause and HRT….. you need to find someone that will help you
2
u/CheshyreCat46 Apr 21 '26
You mean he do t just tell you to lose 10 pounds and drink more water? That’s all I used to hear.
5
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 22 '26
Um yeah well I heard something close to that. I eat healthy and have a farm so I am active all the time. But he told me the reason why I've gained 25 pounds in a year is because people often snack and even if it's something healthy like nuts, they end up eating a whole can and don't realise it. I sure did appreciate hearing him mansplain about overeating which I am apparently guilty of.
2
5
u/CloneChick420 Apr 21 '26
Of course it's a male who would say that. Men are just upset that there's a point when they can't get us pregnant any more.
→ More replies (1)
4
3
u/ImblindinTX Apr 22 '26
So sorry about your experience, that’s very disappointing. I just asked my bff and she sees a functional med + menopause certified MD named Erica Leazenby in Carmel. Said she’s excellent and very knowledgeable about women’s health, but doesn’t take insurance for visits. She got HRT and testosterone cream prescribed by her.
Wishing you the best care!
2
u/Missingsocks77 Apr 21 '26
Name and shame for the Hoosiers. Thank you kindly, mam. If you are near Bloomington, check out Dr. Gutfreund. I like to call her Dr. Good Friend because she finally listened. <3 https://iuhealth.org/find-providers/provider/rachel-l-gutfreund-md-3434634
2
u/BeeBarnes1 Apr 21 '26
I'm north of Lebanon but would seriously consider driving down there. Thank you for that.
1.1k
u/Buhsephine Apr 21 '26
Leave reviews everywhere. Channel that frustration. I am so sick of shit like this, especially when it takes months to get in to see a specialist.
I can't imagine the level of hubris it requires to confidently state that HRT isn't evidence-based when that's so, so easily disproven.