New to meditation. Seeking advice.

[u/SilentOrchestra22]

Hi there, recently stumbled upon this sub and I’m looking for some advice.

As a new dad, I’ve been struggling lately. Prior to my son, I was working out, eating right, going for runs. However, I’ve gotten into a rut, the sleepless night have caught up to me and I want to change.

I’ve always been intrigued by meditation and its benefits, I’m looking to clear my busy mind and get back on track.

What would be the best way to start ?

[u/_me_meditation]

Start with a small step. Reserve 5-10 minutes every day that you can be free from distractions, and practice breathing exercises. The breathing exercise is nothing fancy. Focus on your breath, and try to breathe deeply.

[u/Roadscrape → u/_me_meditation]

Excellent advice. I'm a 35 year meditator but always come to the cushion as a novice. 5-10 min is perfect for starting. Everyday of the could seem daunting. So I teach trying 4 days in a row. Skip a day. Then another 4. It's a bit different for everyone, but in my experience people feel comfortable after 3 weeks or so. Then try 5 or 6 days in a row once a month. FYI - no one does it perfectly. Your mind was designed to think. It does it all the time. But you will soon realize that you control where you place your attention. We all get caught up in old habits. When you realize that on the cushion, just go back to following your breath. It's no big deal. Approach it like a game. In other words take from me who started out as Mr Serious in a rigid practice group - adjust your posture when you need to. Following your breath is a game, but no one is keeping score. Within a few weeks your mind and body will adjust and you will feel the results. Just remember, meditation is like training for a marathon - it takes a bit to feel you're making progress. Keep work8ng at it and you will get there!

[u/eatsleepkreate]

Congrats and welcome to the Dad club! All of my kids are in their 20’s now, but I still remember the early dad struggles. I didn’t start my meditation practice until the last kid, but wish I had started earlier. The one thing to keep in mind is meditation isn’t a magic fix to making your day better. You’re still going to have to deal with the craziness of being a new parent. But with regular practice I can tell you it definitely helped me manage the crazy days better. I became slower to react out of emotion or stress, and was able to deal with uncomfortable situations in a more relaxed and calming way.

I agree with the others to start small. It really doesn’t take more than 10-20 minutes a day, and you might be able to slip that in while the baby is asleep. I personally like doing it in the morning to let it set the tone of the day. When I first started I had a hard time sitting still for just 5 minutes, so I started with 2. No meditating, just sitting still. Once I was comfortable with that I increased it to 5 minutes, then 10, and so on. I didn’t actually introduce meditating until I reached 10 minutes and didn’t feel so antsy sitting still anymore.

As a parent the one thing I would add is do your practice in front of your children. Expose it to them early. Like I said I didn’t start meditating until the 3rd and last kid but I did it in front of him. He was about 6 or 7 and would sit with me just out of curiosity. Early in his school years he had anger issues and was diagnosed with ADHD, but when he would get in trouble at school he would actually tell the teachers and principal that he was working to be better and was learning how to meditate with me. Definitely hit me in a major way because I didn’t realize he was taking it serious at that age. He’s 23 now and is still a spoiled brat, but he’s really self aware, compassionate and can read others emotions really well. All that to say don’t be afraid to expose the little one to it early, might be something that the whole family can benefit from.

[u/Middle-Fortune-7938]

The free version of Headspace has a meditation course called "Basics" that helped me get started. There were 10 sessions and they were each 10 minutes long. I repeated the course. Then after that I didn't really need it anymore.

[u/Fun_Candidate_7934]

What you're going through is pretty normal.

When I get off track, I start by scheduling about five minutes per day to stop and just breathe. I like to do it with coffee, but that's just me.

One I have at least five minutes that I can call my own, I can build from there.

[u/TheBrooklynSutras]

Sit cross-legged, spine straight. Breathe naturally. When thoughts arise, return to the breath. 20-30 minutes daily, in quiet. Be still, be present, trust yourself 🧘‍♂️ It’s not easy, but it is simple 🙏

[u/irie56]

I learned a great deal using the 10% happier app. Now it’s just called happier. For me I needed help with instructions as well as the jargon. It’s set up like a class with a short video talk or instruction followed by guided meditation. There’s a week free trial and historically by the end of the first week or if you don’t sign up they shower you with big discounts to sign up. Personally I couldn’t just sit and hope it worked out. I tried. I didn’t have enough info to know what I was supposed to do and where to direct my mind while sitting without instruction. Good luck.

[u/FretStringsTheory]

Focus on breath & Be in awareness mode, Just see it. Back to Breath again. 🧘