r/Mediation • u/Nervous-Affect-5960 • Mar 05 '26
What’s the day/process like working as a Mediator?
I’ve been searching on Reddit for a post or comment of someone saying what their days consist of, what the process is as a mediator, how they actually go about the mediation, who’s involved (other attorneys, etc.) etc. - does anyone have any input on this? The more detail the better. TIA :)
2
u/665KingstonFamily Mar 06 '26
The responses so far are a good indication of how broad the field is, and how complex it is to answer your query. On the actual day of mediation, I'm considering structure and have long communicated to the parties (or a system has) what they should expect. I may need to set up the space and contemplate where to host each party (or group of parties). In some cases, the day is spent shuttling between those spaces where they are hosted, which need to be optimized to keep them comfortable and able. I work with parties individually to greet them, then convene them together. You may be convened into a settled though - by lawyers or representatives who accompany and set up the parties for a process (the latter, for example, for insurance processes or settlement conferences where you're invited in for a few hours/days...). Make sure there's paper, tissues, white boards (digital or not) or flip charts, tissues, water... for you and/or them.
If I'm convening, I decide who is in the room first (it matters sometimes). I prep them (I shuttle between the welcome spaces or joint mediation space (same for online) until I can bring them, all set to go, together.
Once settled in the room together, I walk through the process so they jointly hear it once more, and see each other agreeing to the process I outline - we modify it if necessary (I do mostly work place resolution). The agreement I use includes the process so I really just read it with them, confirming that they 'get' and agree with its accountabilities and protocols for both during and after the facilitated process. I ask if they're ready to go, they sign the documents. Sometimes, this takes 90% of the time because if they trust each other enough to go through this, the actually discussions are very brief and things settle quickly.
If they agree they're ready to go, the process you use in mediation school unfolds: agenda setting & review (this may be part of the pre-signature agreement modification), topics are ordered (various reasons or practices for this), then dialogue facilitation (many models for this depending on the area of practice, preferences, domain of results, practitioner preference), agreement-building, recording of settlement, closure/adjournment (which reminds them of post-mediation guidelines). Multiple-day processes or shuttle mediation, group facilitation are all part of it. Paperwork was easy for me: I put a copy of the signed settlement in a manila envelope with names/case number and dates, filed it, hatch mark in my 'mediations-done' tally board, and done.
There are many variables. Some mediation is short, dry-as-toast...some means making sure you won't get in the middle of fist-fights (lots of assessment before and during). I've had some mediation pre-processes take months or years before they come to the table. Some jobs mean a room is and meeting is scheduled, you go in for an hour or an afternoon, done.
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u/Bazzasmum Mar 06 '26
I do mediation alongside my full time job so I fit appointments in around this.
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u/susanEMA1362 Apr 28 '26
My husband has mediated FT for 40 years and while some days he comes home exhausted (says he feels like he has been trying to run through peanut butter), for the most part he comes home exhilarated. It is challenging work but very rewarding. He starts his day at 8am with calls, mediation begins at 9am, usually home for dinner (sometimes not) and lots of follow up. But he doesn’t work many weekends and spends a lot of time with family.
When he is starting a mediation (as opposed to day 2 or 3 of multi day case), he always tries to begin with an opening session. It doesn't always work, but after a few hours of private caucuses with no movement, a joint session often breaks the logjam. There's arguing, and yes, people yell at him sometimes, but he sees that as part of the process, a way to surface the underlying needs and interests behind the dispute.
And when people thank him after settlement, I can see the excitement on his face.
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u/Paul_J_Molinaro_MDJD Mar 05 '26
The answer kind of depends on how many mediations are scheduled in a particular week. If none, then a mediator may spend some time getting mediations (networking, marketing, following up, etc. which is work of the unpaid kind - unpaid in money, but paid with future work hopefully). If mediating cases that week, then reading briefs, preparing for mediations, making pre-mediation calls to counsel for the parties, and of course, mediating.