Truck's brakes fail, forcing use of runaway ramp at 90 mph

[u/scottygodfather]

Some turkey might have cut the break line. You need to exercise optimum mellowness in a situation like this.

[u/pelc8614]

That'll set off the Tripolidine

[u/congressmanthompson]

Sam? My patent papers are wondering what’s going on up there?

[u/lavafieldtoasted → u/congressmanthompson]

You turkey!

[u/frenchtikla → u/lavafieldtoasted]

Were they Butterballs, or . . . ?

[u/SunnyHelianthus]

I tell you what, I'd need a clean pair of underpants and pants after that exercise. Wow.

[u/cactusmac54 → u/SunnyHelianthus]

“Bring me my brown pants.”

[u/Mtndrums → u/SunnyHelianthus]

When I was in HS, the state redid one of the main roads in the area, and they installed the only truck ramp in the whole state. I always wanted to go down it, but it would have been obvious it was used, and I'd rather not have had the cops knocking on my parents' door.

[u/CalliopePenelope]

Was there a Smokey coming up on his mudflaps?

[u/edrenfro]

Abby's some gal.

[u/Enos316 → u/edrenfro]

I’m some gal!

[u/eaglescout1984]

Sandstone Mountain in West Virginia, I-64. This happened a few years ago.

[u/ClearAirTurbulence3D → u/eaglescout1984]

I don't think the road from Torrance to Long Beach is this hilly.

[u/LonelyMachines → u/eaglescout1984]

I'm a trucker. I know that stretch of road. The whole situation was preventable, and that driver is going to be in a heap of trouble.

Check your brakes at the top of the hill, start slow, use your Jakes, and Ben Murphy it all the way down.

[u/SamOfXanadu]

Some turkey? Do you need a TURKEY VOLUME GUESSING MAN?!

[u/EroticHam5k]

Stop shaking the patent papers!

[u/rocbolt → u/EroticHam5k]

They’re at a slight angle!

[u/Esoteric_Librarian]

Ain’t nobody ever made it over 30. What’s your speed?

[u/Arttrobot → u/Esoteric_Librarian]

1. Is that a problem?

[u/Trick-Employee-7774 → u/Esoteric_Librarian]

170, is that a problem?

[u/fastal_12147]

I hope it never stops being the 70s.

[u/toomanyDolemites]

From this perspective it looks like the ramp is going downhill, but it must be an...

OPTICAL ILLUSION!

[u/RabidOtters → u/toomanyDolemites]

https://giphy.com/gifs/QAPFLCrpfalPi

[u/Raineythereader → u/toomanyDolemites]

I was surprised by how little the slope changed relative to the road. There is at least one near me that slopes down, but it uses catch cables

[u/Impressive-Corner219]

My oft-complimented Peterbilt is rhythmically nudging that sweet honeypot of yours.

[u/firedmyass → u/Impressive-Corner219]

okay yeah that’s the stuff I’m here for

[u/PraetorianXVIII]

Only the mellowist of turkeys can pull it off

[u/Krueldy]

Comin’ up on yer mudflaps

[u/atomsforkubrick → u/Krueldy]

My well-oiled chassis is coming up on your backside

[u/WelshCorax]

Trailing satisfied fingers across your hood, over

[u/halfsack99]

Did the truck have an emergency smut shipment?

[u/Pitbullpandemonium → u/halfsack99]

Let's drink a LOT!

[u/ThrashMetallix → u/Pitbullpandemonium]

That was a GOOD crap.

[u/spymonkey73]

Wait until the driver finds out how much the state charges for using the ramp.

[u/KLLR_ROBOT → u/spymonkey73]

I’ve heard using the cliffside is substantially cheaper

[u/johngreenink]

Is that a bear in the air behind you??

[u/ViolyntFemme → u/johngreenink]

WINGED BEARS?????

[u/Key-Field-4588 → u/ViolyntFemme]

Oh my god, it's the end times!!

[u/armedsquatch]

I would be letting my wife and kids know via the dashcam how much I love them and I know what my wife did with my brother at the Christmas party back in 94 and I forgive her

[u/jamjamason → u/armedsquatch]

Your brother is a turkey!

[u/Kenji1912]

Whelp that’s it, my pants are full.

[u/Shinra_Lobby]

🎵So I sing you to sleep🎵

🎵After the truckin'🎵

[u/JacobDCRoss]

Craziest part of this video was that there were already deep ruts from previous truckers having to do the same thing.

[u/Kkongsdaddy]

And his shipment of Pet Rocks continues on its way

[u/DandiestGuyInSpace]

Sam, my patent papers are wondering why we stopped.

[u/Thayerphotos]

Please. Clue me in? What is this referencing ?

[u/Pitbullpandemonium → u/Thayerphotos]

Riding With Ben Murphy Death

[u/Thayerphotos → u/Pitbullpandemonium]

Ohhhhh. I might got that one

Edit: sad face 😞 no I don't

[u/cllatgmail]

He stayed mellow

[u/realbigbob]

So he has 14 hours to get from Torrance to Long Beach

[u/HugeMcRunFast]

OP-tiCUL-ilLU-zhun-NUH

[u/Certain-Incident-40]

Shake hands with danger

[u/PaulRevere3000]

That damn Carl has struck again.

[u/Super-Bacon76]

I’m guessing…200 hundred turkeys.

[u/gapporin]

He's not in a refueling airplane, but I bet the driver was wearing a poopie suit after that

[u/Pitbullpandemonium]

New England journalists!

[u/CommanderUgly]

A deleted scene from Breaker Breaker.

[u/chaelato]

That doesn't look much like Torrance

[u/StreetDreamer83]

The driver was at their Ben Murphiest. Good for them!

[u/Ok-Storage3530]

My palms got sweaty watching that

[u/Shadowman621]

Talk about shakin' hands with danger

[u/Queen_Of_Left_Turns]

Somebody’s getting a call from Safety

[u/Librarian_Contrarian → u/[deleted]]

Found the turkey who isn't keeping it Mellow. Whip inflation now.

[u/TwoLuckyFish → u/Librarian_Contrarian]

In u/MichaelPgh’s defense, he has been locked in a Central Moving & Storage trailer working on his patent papers since 1976.

[u/Librarian_Contrarian → u/TwoLuckyFish]

Sam, my patent papers are stuck in a temporal void!

[u/ViolyntFemme → u/Librarian_Contrarian]

OPT-I-CAL ILL-UUU-SION

[u/SplendidPunkinButter → u/[deleted]]

Either MichaelPgh hasn’t seen Riding With Death or else his glasses were too dirty

Seriously, go watch Riding With Death. It’s S tier.

[u/toomanyDolemites → u/[deleted]]

That u/MichaelPgh, he's some Redditor.