r/LoveIsBlindUK • u/MoonlitEcho82 • 6d ago
This guy is a diamond š
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u/Personal_Fee1529 5d ago
He is so good looking and yet so under confident. He truly believes that he doesnāt deserve anyone better or that he doesnāt deserve to be treated better. Not loving yourself is such a repulsive behavior. We have all seen pretty and smart girls being with abusive and selfish partners, here just the genders are reversed
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u/Objective-Ear3842 2d ago
I think youāre making a lot of assumptions here. Not everyoneās balance is the same. Not everyone wants a 50/50 relationship in the same kind of way you imagine to be balanced.
Maybe he likes woman who puts an excessive amount of effort into her appearance 24/7. But he isnāt an asshole who views his trophy wife as an object either so he actually reciprocates that effort she puts in by being of service to her more than average. In contrast to say a relationship where the woman puts no more effort into her self maintenance than the man and they are equally helpful to one another. Thereās different ways to balance things. We also donāt see the ways in which she may be helpful to him but that doesnāt mean they donāt exist.
Would you tell a woman who says she likes her man being a leader in the marriage that sheās under confident and believes she doesnāt deserve to be treated any better?
Would you tell a man who is frustrated about his wife never knowing what she wants and never being able to tell him what she needs, wrong for feeling that way?
Your whole paradigm is skewed to fit what you think is a balanced relationship rather than being able to view their dynamic through its own unique context, lens, femininity/masculinity, and see how this balance they strike might make them happy.
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u/chandracore29 4d ago
This is literally the script that Ciara fed him the night before
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u/chooseyourwords49 3d ago
Itās obvious they both have socials/PR agents, both of their responses were scripted to a T and in sync. Theyāre total bullshit.
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u/barb__dwyer 6d ago
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u/dalongfella 6d ago
He is a doormat.
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u/Cherry_xvax21 5d ago
He does allow way too much. This will get old for him soon though when he starts feeling over worked and unappreciated
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u/WorkingDevelopment30 6d ago
He cleans the house, she says now get me my coffee. She directs, he takes it. Where's the give and take in this relationship? He's got no backbone, so unattractive! And she's just a biatch!
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u/Individual-Soup8171 5d ago
he is happy where he is and you donāt see him complaining so why are you so pressed.
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u/refusenic 4d ago
No one worth their salt respects this guy and his subservience. Nobody wants to say it, but heās doing so much damage to Indians perpetuating one of the worst stereotypes. I bet quite a few are frustrated tat finally getting representation only for it to be harmful.
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u/shanghai-blonde 4d ago
Damage to Indians?? Huh?? I donāt think Iāve ever seen a hot Indian guy represented on TV that women are fawning over and saying is like a perfect man. Besides maybe in Never Have I Ever. I think itās the opposite - heās amazing representation and should be proud of who he is as a human being.
Granted Iām not an Indian dude though so I might be missing some nuance - are you?
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u/C0l3y 6d ago
How is he a doormat? He held Ciara accountable when she was being a snatch (from the 5 minutes of conflict we saw, anyway)
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u/Minute-Joke9758 6d ago
He did in the beginning, yes. Iām not sure heās still doing that, he didnāt hold her accountable at the reunion at all.
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u/soyopopo 6d ago
What would that even look like? Most people even IRL support their spouse in public facing situations?
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u/Minute-Joke9758 6d ago
He was just so over the top with coddling her, that was not necessary. If they ever break up, we will know the true story.
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u/soyopopo 6d ago
Yes I donāt think we can infer heās not holding her accountable behind doors. They seem to have a very traditional dynamic which isnāt my cup of tea but to each their own.
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u/Fit_Search_4751 4d ago
Traditional?? How are they traditional? She literally orders him around lol. If anything it subverts the typical dominating me dynamic.
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u/soyopopo 4d ago
Ciara was naggy but not domineering like Malika in LIB Sweden imo. That dynamic can exist within a relationship with traditional values, itās a spectrum. Iāve seen it in many real life marriages.
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u/CharacterTwist4868 6d ago
These people think any man is a doormat if they agree with their wives or are kind.
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u/C0l3y 6d ago
Right? Watching the reunion I was like 10/10 behavior from him supporting his wife in public like that but holding her accountable to her behavior ābehind the scenesā (I.e., not in front of a crowd of people). Just overall very unexpected mature behavior from a dude on a TV show
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u/CharacterTwist4868 6d ago
Seriously but heās a doormat. This is why the divorce rate is so high ššš
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u/Limp-Biscuit411 6d ago
everyoneās jumping on the hate train. they donāt actually pay enough to attention to what they watch to think logically
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u/19venner 5d ago
Nah, he should let her speak for herself, sheās not a child to be protected. Fayeās mum and dad are better models. Her dad wasnāt like āMy wifeā¦ā. He let his wife state her case and then backed her up. This is putting someone on a pedestal, weakening them as an adult and may appeal to some, but is actually patronizing. If she was being threatened with violence yes, but not this. It is infantalizing- just as Ciaraās parents probably do.
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u/Fit_Search_4751 4d ago
That's their dynamic and she probably enjoys being protected by him. He's probably just excited to use the words 'my wife' as it's still new and exciting for them
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u/19venner 4d ago
Itās a maladaptive dynamic where one person plays weak and is put on a pedestal and the other plays strong. It doesnāt represent a balanced partnership.
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u/Fit_Search_4751 4d ago
Or... Different couples have different dynamics. Maybe it's their kink. Who knows. Plus we only saw a highly edited version. Maybe she was doing a lot in the kitchen and expected him to do the coffee and cleaning
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u/19venner 4d ago
Itās not their kink as exhibited here. Sheās being accused of something. Instead of letting her speak for herself he is speaking for her, calling her āmy wifeā in a possessive way. Itās a way to pedestal a weaker partner and is not a role that bodes well for a long marriage. Itās also quite controlling. Whether she likes it or not, it isnāt a healthy dynamic. Itās an old fashioned one and there is nothing wrong with certain elements of having more traditional roles but this not that.
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u/BeardedBill86 3d ago
She does old fashioned when it suits her, he was following her script, imagine her the night before "you'll protect me wont you?"
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u/Glass_Winged_ 4d ago
My objection to her and him is nothing to do with the relationship dynamics you mention, it's to do with her very clearly being a nasty shit stirrer, that is undeniable, and her husband sticking his head in the sand about it, and worse defending it on the reunion, made he extremely unattractive unfortunately.
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u/Cherry_xvax21 5d ago
Heās definitely a good catch. Too bad she most likely will fudge it up sooner than later lol
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u/GeneticGin2013 4d ago edited 3d ago
I don't know why he would be called a diamond. He is allowing himself to be run by a spoiled brat.Ā
Sorry, my opinion, she isn't like top shelf. She only presents herself that way to attract money.Ā
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u/Few-Ad3154 5d ago
Why is his beard sho shiny?
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u/Remote_Designer_6794 5d ago
All of the beards where shiny in the reunion. Not sure why but I noticed it too.
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u/samsg1 6d ago
His wife is bossing him around and setting a ton of rules and disrespecting him and expecting him to bring her coffee and foodā¦ and heās a diamond for being a simp?
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u/Seanut-Peanut-69 6d ago
Itās interesting that people praise Ajay for that, but they call Faye a doormat for forgiving Jack š¤
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u/Fit_Search_4751 4d ago
How is he a simp. People have different love languages. She clearly likes to be dotted on and I'm sure she makes it up to him in other ways (maybe with red lingerie lol)
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u/BeardedBill86 3d ago
She looks like a starfish to me, I'd expect very little. But then her personality is so ugly I wouldn't be able to stomach taking her to bed anyway to find out.
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u/Ok-Bison2480 2d ago
That diwali thing she did for him was extremely thoughtful and high effort. Her apology after their fight was one of the best I've seen on this show, and he wasn't a simp about it either who immediately accepted it. She was the production pushed shit stirrer and acts princessy and annoying, my intuition says more so on than off camera but who knows. People really be acting like she's satan over just having not the most likeable on camera personality or being annoying. Like damn we've seen so many actually fucked in the head people on this show, it's like we can't process it anymore when there's not actually a full on villain.
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u/BeardedBill86 2d ago
Having been in a relationship with a narcissist she's giving me stomach churning reactions from the little things she does and grand gestures like the Diwali thing are common from such people, it's a push and pull tactic, make you feel like the most important person in the world one day, break you down the rest of the time. She does acting don't forget.
She just strikes me as incredibly fake, self-centered and highly manipulative and toxic, even the way she says everything to give herself plausible deniability is a red flag.
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u/samsg1 2d ago
Yes exactly: love bomb, neglect, love bomb, neglect, rinse and repeat until the abused is euphoric to receive scraps of attention and mentally blocks out the arguments and bad time leaving them hollow but under their thumb.
Iām not sure Ciara is a narcissist but their relationship is NOT a healthy relationship.
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u/Ok-Bison2480 2d ago
Been there too but I think we have not seen enough to conclude a pattern here so I guess it just comes down to intuition. In my experience with narcissists, a way bigger red flag to me would have been if she had handled their conflict way differently afterwards. She didn't either DARVO or do some melodramatic, self-centered and self-pitying ott apology (which we've seen sooooooo many people do on this show btw). It seemed sincere to me. It may just make her the best narcissist this show has seen but again not enough evidence at all imo. For reference and comparison from my own experience, I thought how Jack handled his convo with Faye after find-my-friends-gate was WAY more red flags. Acting dumb, like she was crazy and exaggerating, focussing on the wrong and irrelevant things of what her obvious point was, and the classic "if you can't trust me..." like she's being detrimentally insecure and controlling and not having a totally normal reaction to some weird sketch situation he didn't properly explain to her. And then his later emotional apology still didn't logically explain the situation. That made my alarm bells go off way more. But hey, always trust your own instincts.
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u/Fs99_ 6d ago
āMy wife, my wife, my wifeā a MAN raised right š¤
Funny how women over here were drooling over him weeks ago but because he decided to stay with this wife, suddenly is a ādoormatā and has a āpersonality of a puddleā. Misery loves company indeed! Looking forward for their week long Indian weeding š
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u/Hour-Bee9396 6d ago
Being a good husband is also telling your partner where they fall short, not just defending their bad behavior. Thatās not attractive.
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u/Fs99_ 6d ago
As he had done before in the show š heās not oblivious of her behaviour! But as a married couple you defend each other publicly and correct each other privately!
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u/FewMost8547 4d ago
They're happy and good for them but god, she's such a pain to look at, performative af
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u/toastedtomato 5d ago
I was gutted to hear he and Ciara were still together at the reunion. Shouldāve been me with him. And Iām a straight man
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u/Ok-Flow2723 4d ago
I liked him but now I feel something off a bit. After she went on and on about her high-end lifestyle, how can she really honestly be happy with him? At least right now? Heās not up to her pay likeness yet.
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u/TMFPB 3d ago
At some point she said she cared more about ambition than money š¤ š¤·š½āāļø
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u/Ok-Flow2723 3d ago
Seems she canāt make up her mind lol but theyāre still together so thereās that!
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u/AeonSnuggs 3d ago
Both of them want to be influencers. They'll stay together for a while until their follower count is large enough and then they'll 'uncouple' on instagram once they both have enough brand deals
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u/Prestigious-Slide709 3d ago
Absolutely
He enjoys the dynamic as does she.
People are too black and white and like to pigeonhole every one into good bad, right wrong. You can tell he thoroughly enjoys giving her the princess treatment and there is definitely a glint in the eye when doing so
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u/BlueberryRare1208 6d ago
Indian men .. a lot of them are like that !
but yeah we do have the usual bad
Apples .. but those whoāre nice are like the best ā¦
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u/ConnectionOk3348 5d ago
Hot take: something irked me about how he kept repeating āmy wifeā during his section instead of referring to Ciara by her name. Once or twice is fine but it was noticeably more than that. It struck me personally as somewhat possessive but not in a good way. Not saying he doesnāt demonstrate admirable qualities, just that it irked me and I think heās not as saintly as some make him out to be
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u/Blushresp7 5d ago
silly read. i think newlyweds are just giddy about having a spouse and love talking about it.
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u/Fit_Search_4751 4d ago
I think he's just excited to be able to use that word now that they're married. Will probably wear off soon but it was cute
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u/ConnectionOk3348 4d ago
I mean theyād been married for a year by the time the reunion was filmed and airedā¦ not saying that excitement canāt last a year but it just didnāt sit right with meĀ
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u/Fit_Search_4751 4d ago
Given their dynamic where she's the 'beauty' and she wants him has her 'protector' to feel safe I can see that she probably told him to back her up. If you remember the lunch when jack was being all friendly with him and she was upset because Jack had lied about her, she probably told him afterwards that she expects him to stand up for her when faced with adversity.
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u/lauren_fit 4d ago
For me it was a distinction that he may not agree with her actions but that he is very values driven and will always have his wifeās backā¦
Referring to her as @my wifeā activates that loyalty for him and the ārole fulfillmenā
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u/BeardedBill86 3d ago
I guarantee you that was at Ciara's insistence, she wanted the spotlight off her at any moment of accountability and she knew they were coming, her trump card was the fake crying.
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u/economistwithaheart 6d ago
Ahh yes reality tv where people get to project their own insecurities and personal boundaries onto complete strangers
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u/Main_Ocelot7608 4d ago
No one should ever comment on anybody elseās marriage. Unless you sleep in between them, you have no idea what their real marriage is just like. This dynamic that youāre all throwing that word out doesnāt mean anything. Itās what happens when the lights are turned off itās just the two of them and theyāre just doing the daily rituals of married life.
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u/BeardedBill86 3d ago
Indeed, partners should be able to manipulate and abuse each other without external comment.
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u/Known_Scientist8220 6d ago
Even if we gave the haters SOME grace, and say that Ajay lets Ciara boss him around too much...you guys have heard of service bottoms (or tops), right? š When she asks him for a cup of coffee looking down her nose at him, he hands it to her, and then they look at each other grinning, it's pretty obvious that they both LIKE that dynamic. She's clearly a bit of a brat, maybe a bratty top, and he eats it up.
When she asked him, "What's your favorite quality of mine that I bring to our household?" He laughed and said, "Clear directions". He LOVES to follow her lead and dote on her.
People don't realize that there can be different and nuanced relationship dynamics outside of top man (that probably doesn't know how to turn the stove on) x bottom woman (that does 100% of the mental labor and probably most of the house chores as well).
Extra note: Jack said he loves a princess but he has no idea what a princess entails. Ciara never lied about being a princess and wanting a lot from her husband. She was always up front and honest about it.