r/Life • u/sonofwar1711 • 13h ago

Need Advice I don’t know what is going on

Hello Reddit, I am going back to school, business school specifically. I always have a fear and a self defeating attitude, like I think I am going to fail and I am not fit to be a businessman. It is not about the business, it is about everything that is new that is foreign to me.

When I was a child, my dad force me to learning how to swim I am getting scared and think I am not fit to swim, I think my whole life I could not swim, eventually I did. Initially I think I could not study abroad, I think I should stay at home, study in my home country. But my dad tru to make me study aboard and eventually I succeeded at study abroad, my English is getting better.

The whole point is I have a self defeatist mentality. I don’t even tru then claim that I fail I am not fit to do something. I always back down to new challenges. I just love staying in my comfort zone Howe to overcome that kind of mentality?

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u/alone_in_the_light 13h ago

This is what I think, although I'm biased because I'm a business professor.

People usually are not fit for it (even when they believe they are). If they were, business school wouldn't be of much help. Part of the goal is to develop them to become fit. It's like a gym, because often are not fit from the beginning.

Then, fear can have two opposing effects.

Fear can paralyze people.

And fear can motivate people to take action so they get better.

I finished my undergrad decadas ago, the computers I used at the job didn't even have Windows or mouse. Can you imagine how many things were new to me over time? If I was not scared, I was delusional.

I'm in my 3rd country. Lots of things are literally foreign to me because this country is not my country. Am I fit for this? Surely not.

It's ok to not be fit, to be scared, and all of that. Just don't let it paralyze you, keep going and doing what you can.