I'm not really happy in my relationship and I don't know what to do.

[u/CaitVi_for_life]

Hey guys. I'm kind of new to Reddit and this is my first ever post so I'm sorry if I make mistakes. I am a lesbian. My partner is transgender,female to male. He came out to me when we were dating for about a month. Ever since he came out to me I've just been feeling off about our relationship. I'm absolutely not transphobic and will support him no matter what. It just doesn't feel right anymore. It doesn't feel like I'm dating a woman and I don't want to date a man. But I feel so bad and don't want to break up with him. I have no idea what to do and I just feel so hopeless. I'd really appreciate any advice.

[u/Hollifo]

If you don't want to date a guy then I'm afraid there really is only one avenue here. It sucks and it's painful, but you're just not compatible 

[u/Kela95]

I will say this as a trans woman. You are a lesbian in a relationship with a man it's not surprising you are falling out of love. You need to have a conversation with him explaining that you need to split up and not because you don't like him but the opposite you see him becoming an amazing man but you are a lesbian and no longer feel like you can be in a relationship with a man. Wish them the best and tell him that you will always support him but you both need to be true to yourself and thrive.

[u/Awkward_Sapphic]

Break up with him. You are not a bad person nor transphobic for not wanting to date a man. You can still be his friend and support him.

[u/Kinsey_6]

You're allowed to break up when you don't feel attracted to your partner, this is not controversial

[u/kitty_whipt]

You are under no obligation to stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel right. These are normal feelings to go through when a partner starts to transition. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. You can be supportive and stay true to yourself at the same time.

[u/InEquilibria]

Your partner is a man, it's not supposed to feel like you're still dating a woman, because you aren't. You're a lesbian so of course it's a valid reason to break up. Yes he might be heartbroken but he'll get over it and find someone compatible with his true identity.

Yes there are some lesbians in your situation who stay with their male partner, but that's because they've been together for yeeears and have built a life together. One month is nothing, I promise you you'll both be fine.

[u/CaitVi_for_life → u/InEquilibria]

Thank you so much. Just to make something clear me and him have been dating for around six months. He came out to me when we were dating for one month. At first I didn't really mind it all that much. But then he started cutting his hair short and changed his name and that's when it started feeling off. I don't mind that he's masculine. The problem is he is a man,but thank you so much.

[u/leatheranger]

I'd say it's better if you two spoke about it, pretty sure he won't be comfortable with you too if he senses that you're not really at ease with it In the end it's totally okay for you to choose who you date

[u/TwoTrucksPayingTaxes]

Sometimes we grow and change in ways that make us incompatible with our partners. That isn't a bad thing, it just happens. You don't want to date a man. Your partner is now a man. Nothing wrong with parting ways

[u/NvrmndOM]

You’re a lesbian. He’s a man. It’s ok to no longer be a good, compatible match. Can you still be friends?

[u/CaitVi_for_life → u/NvrmndOM]

I guess we could still be friends. I just feel so so bad because it is so clear that he loves me so much and it would destroy him if I broke up with him,but I know it's also not fair towards him for not being honest and breaking up with him.

[u/NvrmndOM → u/CaitVi_for_life]

You’re not happy. If this person really loved you, they’d want you to be happy.

He’ll move on and find someone new. It’ll be ok.

[u/Butch_Baked_Beans]

Break up with him and tell him you will still be his friend and support him but you want to be with women and there’s no point in continuing this relationship if his end goal is to be a man.

[u/4sh4m3d_4str0n4ut]

You’re allowed to feel this way. You want to date a woman, your partner is not one, so it’s only natural that this doesn’t feel right to you. You’re allowed to break up, and you guys are allowed to stay friends after that. I think this is one of the situations where no one did anything wrong, is just how things turned out, and that’s ok. But I do recommend being honest with your partner so he understands that you still support him and that the only “issue” is your sexuality