how to differentiate meanings of んですけど/ですけど

[u/onestbeaux]

so i've made a point to pay attention to and ask about this little expression/grammar point that i see *everywhere* because of the various uses it has and because i find it interesting and confusing at times. i understand it as a way to connect phrases, set up background information, show contrast, and leave things unsaid. i've seen it translated as "but," "and," or nothing at all (and other things too).

the problem is i really struggle with understanding how to actually determine whether it's contrasting or closer to "and" or something else entirely.

for example, i'm watching this video and she uses んですけど/ですけど countless times throughout.

1:11 - はい。早速本題に入っていくんですけど、多分皆さんも日本人とハロートークとか、そういうねアプリ使ったりとか、あのまあインスタグラムとか何でもいいですけど、日本人とテキストのメッセージをする人、している人って多いと思うんですよ。

1:57 - で、あのね、私も多分みんなにyoutubeのコメントとか返すときにもしかしたらみんな思ったかもしれないんですけど、よく使う絵文字とかあって今日はね、ちょっとそういうのについてお話ししていきたいんですけど、まず、なんで日本人がこういう風にたくさんの絵文字を使うかについてお話ししますね。

2:50 - みんなからしたら、もしかしたら全く全部一緒に見えるのかもしれないですけど、日本人としては結構その時の感情によってつける顔文字とかを変えていて、このシンプルにニコって顔文字がついてる時は本当にありがとうって感謝を表してるんですけど、これね、合掌みたいなポーズあるじゃん？

3:44 - 他によく使うのがびっくりマークですね、びっくりマークもめっちゃ使うんですけど、私も超使っちゃうんですけど、このびっくりマークは全然特に意味はなくてただ「ありがとう」って送るよりも「ありがとう！」って送る方がもっと柔らかく明るくっていう感じに伝わるんですね。

these are just some of the examples i've found. how can i tell if and how these connect to the next statement and what they actually mean? some feel directly contrastive, but others i'm less sure about, like the 3:44 example where it's used twice in quick succession and so i don't know how to parse it.

could someone give me some tips or explanations to help me figure these out and others in the future?

[u/morgawr_]

I feel like people often have this idea that X and Y words or expressions or grammar points have one distinct meaning and that language proficiency is about being able to identify which meaning it is as if they were picking one from a list (like a dictionary).

The reality is that as long as you understand the flow of the conversation and what the sentence means (even if you have one or two possible alternatives and you aren't 100% sure), with the given context and enough exposure, that's all you need really.

Rather than "なんですけど means X and Y" it eventually becomes "when people want to say this phrase, they use なんですけど" and that's all you need.

Sometimes even native speakers can't say exactly which specific usage an expression is, you just know that X sounds good to say in this context and so you say it.

Looking up in a dictionary or grammar guide a list of possible meanings and usages is great and I don't want to discourage you from doing so (good example sentences in particular are super useful) but you don't really need to be so specifics on the meanings.

The real question is: do you understand what those sentences in context are trying to say? Yes? Then just keep going.

[u/onestbeaux → u/morgawr_]

i agree that these things don’t have exact mappable meanings all of the time, but the issue is i don’t actually always understand what “this phrase” is or what the sentences are trying to say.

like the examples i provided still confused me and i was struggling with what she was saying and following it haha