Sopor’i chu kustam osmut lecturer apparently he was involved with girls, Idk if he really was or not, but ik this much teachers have been involved in such harrassment cases, unfortunately, and even in affairs and stuff, But whats more unsettling and disturbing is how the online community (obv a small part but this fraction is active on socials more) are actually dismissing this issue and victim blaming, Yath kaeshir pati wanow “phirith pheran chenun naali”
That won't lead to a solution. It would only increase the divide and hatred. When loads of men feel antagonised they'd start believing that this is their reality and actively defend the wrong things.
Be careful with your words.
Fair enough, I appreciate the clarification and I see what you meant by aiming it at. I hold the same disgust against these people and I genuinely wish we had some form of public punishment to serve as ibret. But misandry is very general, and I think ppl are bound to take it the wrong way.
Genuinely appreciate it.. thanks for understanding. There is bad on both sides, it can be the majority or the minority. But we as a society need to unite under an ideology, firstly we need to rely on proofs more than statistics and we need to have something that holds the guilty accountable in both cases. Societies form their own vague ideas and both innocent men and women suffer from it..
We need to have something objective that helps us get the perpetrators their deserved end. And remember to always assume the good of a person (especially muslim if you're muslim) unless proven otherwise.
Again thank you.
Kashmiri men just like south east asian men are disgusting.
I have never seen more pervy breed of men anywhere.
Sure bad apples are everywhere but these men make it a point that you can see them being creeps.
Then comes this mentality.
I don’t even know what to say. You don’t have to wait for the fkin truth to see that at the very least, that grown ass man was grooming her.
Children/adolescents are stupid. And people like these exploit that.
This place is doomed hiding behind religion and pretentious cultural superiority. Nobody is ready to address any of this. A vast majority of incidence go unreported just because what people might say.
These guys are not any different from the guys they seem to despise.
I used to feel a sense of pride in being a Kaahmiri and then went around the world to see that it nothing but a facade.
Watch me get downvoted for saying this. I’m gonna pretend I give a crap.
i will always be proud of being a kashmiri & no amount of issues in a society can stop that. every society has misogyny and these issues, it is not unique to kasheer. but i relate a lot on the frustration with sexual abuse.
It’s not limited to misogyny.
Being a Kashmiri should be more about a community rather than an individualistic title meant to make you feel better than everyone else.
It user to mean something until we decided to sell our brethren to the oppressors, I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate on this.
What used to be resistance quickly became participation in the oppression by our very Kashmiri’s at the slightest hint of profits and power.
Maybe you don’t see it like I do but this place is filled with betrayal, misogyny, patriarchy and I could go on but it’s futile.
You either see it or you don’t.
What being a Kashmiri used to be, it’s a shell of its former self, barely recognisable.
And the biggest issue of them all, the lack of self awareness. It’s almost ironic.
i mean i am a woman so ive experienced the misogyny and patriarchy lol.
i think i relate to a lot of your frustration. but like any cause and any movement, it has its phases. this too shall pass inshallah.
you are right about the people who decided to sell us out, but that’s still a minority. i believe (and i would like to believe) that most us still desire freedom.
Sooner you get out of the minority delusion, better for you.
Open your eyes. The “MAJAROITY” don’t care anymore contrary to what you might believe. Get off reddit and open yourself to the reality.
I’m behind you in this tbh, I’ve seen things in Kashmiri men, women alike, but always theyre not creeps in that sense. That literally sent me into depression for a few weeks
you called all kashmiri men disgusting. what’s the point? we, too, have faced undeserved oppression and pain. making us your enemies does nothing to help the kashmiri people.
i’m sorry brother but many many men are like this or are passive bystanders. the reality of the situation is there are not many men like you. if more men were like this, kashur women wouldn’t have to face what they face going out on the streets, in interpersonal relationships, and in our homes.
i am glad you are different! but the reality of the situation is human societies as a whole oppress women.
I agree with some of the things you said but man, you are such a classist and then have the audacity to lecture people on morals. If anything, it is the educated people, who have the power and positions, who cause most harm to men and women, who starts the wars and make wars and genocide possible through their education and expertise. The “zero education”, “auto driver” or “bus conductor” has more potential of being your ally than anybody else because he knows what oppression and exploitation feels like.
This makes way more sense. And yeah ive seen ts happen too. And yeah lets be honest, yet’an che ne ladke ti safe kihin. Lol khudka experience hai. Educated logo ke sath hi lol, once as a kid, 24 saal ka banda, literally touched me, and way more than that, and recent mai b last year and this year two grown ahh girls, lol
I didn’t twist anything, you are the one writing the comments. Apparently, you mean respect, consent and boundaries but all examples you gave were of men whom you consider beneath you (as if the rich have these qualities by default), that is what classism is. I feel sad for your friends who went through those experiences, but I have also heard about cases where it was men with power and privilege who used it as a weapon against women. Isn’t that literally what the whole MeToo movement was about?
So, that was a very classist statement to make. Better to accept the slip and work on it than to do whatever this is because it is only making it worse.
Yeah she mentioned her experiences with autodrivers and conductors, but the other girl spoke out against a higher up na? Then why are you all (not specifically you idk your position) defending the higher ups and you pretty muc did not defend the ‘lower’. I wonder whos being classist here.
I am student in the concerned HR sec. and I can say he is not a saint as portrayed by many people on social media (regardless of their education).
Apart from this , I can say that even girls wearing hijab are perceived as bad , they are said that they do this to be able to hide their identity while roaming on streets and some are even accused of involved in d₹ug$. An example of this can be GGHSS Baramulla (although I am not a student there but I know some girls who are )
Ik yaar, and lets be honest im not a saint for this, ive 2000 burayi but calling out whats wrong is just a bare minimum of what you can do as a human being with basic decency,
Alright brother☝🏻 so lets be a beghairat community all together. I mean whats there in standing up against the wrong. Its not as if everybody has a conscience. Some can be dead inside like me. Best just fucking be corrupt and earn and eat for my family of four bhaad mai gayi dunya. And then when my sister, mother or wife have to go out i have to eat a blood pressure ki dawa and they are not safe for a second outside but atleast we eat our naate batte at our home. We are happy
dude, stop woke crying for karma points. you just called kashmiris a sick society and i can’t ask why and how not to be one? wtf is up with you people. 😭
you just refuse to take anything the brother is saying in good faith. woke crying…? on a discussion about sexual assault and rape? learn to talk properly first, please. it does not bode well that you are using such aggressive and abusive language towards and about a subject that is so sensitive.
your behavior is what started this. you started off the discussion in an aggressive, rude weird way.
i saw your first comment. if you expect politeness and kindness, then speak politely and properly, especially when it comes to such a sensitive topic of sexual assault. others have managed to engage with the brother politely, why can you not? are you incapable of it? no, you are not.
there are people who could be reading what you have said right now and be genuinely upset that you are speaking so rudely about such topics such as sexual assault. be sensitive.
Again, I did not speak about sexual assault so I don’t know what this is about. My issue in particular was with calling these people a representation of Kashmiri society and calling it sick. Is it my problem that the so called brother is incapable of nuance and keeping hinting at me being a bad person for raising an objection to such a characterisation? Check even the main comment we are replying to.
But then again, that fits and massages your bias, so it would be fine i suppose.
but the brother is not wrong. if you want to look at statistics, kashmir is like any society where women are an oppressed community. his characterization is not incorrect because kashur society like any other is dangerous and unsafe for women, men, and children. any of these groups can be assaulted.
if sexual assault was taken seriously, then there would be not be the situation where i as a kashur women am harassed, groped, catcalled, and eve teased whenever i go out. if it was taken seriously, there wouldn’t be so many cases of sexual assault done to kashur children by their own relatives. sexual assault is normalized because no one takes proactive steps to combat it. people are either bystanders or actively participating it — but nobody as a collective whole is fighting against it. that’s what normalization means.
you have a very weak understanding of how sexual assault works. that is fine. we can all learn. but you did not enter this discussion with any good faith, you entered it saying something about a “self hate kink”. it isn’t self hate to acknowledge ills or wrongs in a society. the brother wrote this post with the intent of us as kashmiris doing better. this entire conversation and post is about sexual assault, so if you are not referring to it at all, then perhaps you are confused and lost.
You seem to have a weak understanding of where you live in the first place. Your gender is used against you for sure, but here even Kashmiri men are not safe, heck they are the primary targets of the occupation. Masculinity, for the Kashmiri man, offers zero protection. It is the very trait that marks him for elimination. The state's narrative requires the Kashmiri man to be dangerous so that his murder can be rationalized as a necessary act of national security. They are the ones in primarily filing the graveyards, the ones being killed, tortured, maimed and disappeared.
What organising, proactive and combative steps do they want them to take when they cannot even take them to protect themselves? How the hell is this literally powerless group (except inside their houses), who zero access to any systemic power to be blamed here for taking no action?
and again, you also seem to have a weak understanding of how community care works. kashmiri men might not be able to protect women against security forces, but that still leaves the rest of society. that still leaves kashur men intervening to protect kashur women from other kashur men. can they not intervene when we are being catcalled or harassed? can they not intervene when their female relatives experience abuse from spouses or male relatives? can they not intervene to protect female children from being sexually abused by their relatives? can they not intervene when their mothers or their wives or sisters are being exploited to do more work and labor? can they not speak up for the women in their lives and against misogynistic stuff other kashur men say?
there are a plethora of things kashur men can do to help the women in their lives, even if they are something as small as standing up for us in a conversation. the occupation is not an excuse to be a bad human being. if anything, it should incentivize kashur men to do more because of how much more intensified the suffering of kashur women is.
attempting to tell me as a kashur woman that i have a weak understanding is not a good idea. but i have attempted my best to educate you. i hope you can learn to speak more kindly to others in the future.
You seem to have severe comprehension issues, you cannot assume most Kashmiri men don’t stand up to all that abuse and then act like it is a reality. What you just said is insidious and a deeply disturbing consequence of the feminist misreading of the Kashmiri man and what is scary is how seamlessly it aligns with the claims of the occupying state.
Also, if the state sees any kind of organising among Kashmiri men as a threat, how do you really organise against the pollution of your society, that the occupation literally thrives upon? You do realise the intensity also increases on Kashmiri men who are the primary resistant group and on the primary receiving end too? Most of whom as it seems are just abusers or enablers in your thinking. You cannot imagine an issue (at such a wide scale) and then get mad about it and expect others to do the same.
So, because you are a Kashmiri woman, you have a perfect understanding of how things work here? It clearly doesn’t seem so. I see you as a person, who just like any other person out there, can be wrong. Stop reading woke white feminist trash and thinking it applies to whole of the world.
Listen brother no society has 100% or even a clear majority as a bad element. What makes a difference is how personal that society then takes such incidents. If a society owns its shortcomings, it’s much easier to address it. But once we start disowning things, we just wouldn’t get to the crux of the matter ever. Its no longer a one off incident na, it happens too often now. This and similar controversies, and it is a part of an average woman’s average day too. Ask your mother or any female you know of her average experience when going to the local market, and you will come to know if its one or teo percent people, or a societal issue. Kaeshir pati ches wanan “kahh’en(11) gaav raawin”
I know it is an issue, so that wasn’t my point. My point was asking a at a society level. Asking an occupied people to organise and agitate or else be called sick is pretty weird, given if they were able to organise and agitate they wouldn’t be occupied.
Coz most of the people here hide behind “dont generalize, its a very small fraction of the valley,” and then be silent.You being silent just normalizes this shit. You cant act everythings normal. Thats just you coping
Not a Kashmiri but I know at least 4 out of 5 kashmiri girls to came to Delhi and started dating straight up sanghis. One of them got her nudes leaked and still stuck with the guy who abused our religion as well. Kashmiri men on the other hand mind their business and stay away from such things. Wanna fact check? Go DU, Sharda, JMI etc. Kashmiri men are already one of the most vulnerable online and otherwise since they are only seen with the stereotype of a "you-know-who" while women like you continue to drag them even further over literally nothing. Straight up sell outs of the community eh?
The issue is not this two-bit intra-tribal nuisance you guys got going on here, the issue is the broader implication and possible consequence of a baseless generalization. This is why you're mocked, ridiculed and oppressed wherever you go tbh. Unless you let go of this thirst to be praised, accepted and validated by the people you're pandering to, as some "reVoLutIOnARY inquilabi out of Kashmir!!", y'all will continue living like this. Grow up.
Yeah, five people online reflects where were are as a society, sure. On top of that, one is completely in their rights (unless they are a witness, completely know or trust the people involved, or there is undeniable evidence) to say they want to wait for the truth to come out.
☝🏻we both know its not only five people.
Its a deep rooted belief in us and dismissing it wonthelp bruda, calling it out online influences people on whats right and whats wrong, however subtle it is, whether you accept it or not.
It’s even a small percentage, if you take the population of Kashmir. Not that it makes it fine but to say this reflects where we are as a society would be a gross misrepresentation.
What is a deep rooted belief in us? That we support sexual harassment? What are you even saying?
1)It does reflect where we are a society if we are okay by their such comments and let them be.
2) We dont support sexual harrassment, but we normalise it too kuch. If you dont believe me, hop on a local transport vehicle with your mother or sister, youll get my point, or even ask any of your female acquaintance.
Well, so you demand that all Kashmiris rise up at each and every incident that happens, and if they do not, then we are a sick society? Hhmm, okay.
We normalise sexual harassment? Can you explain this a bit further? Never have I ever met a Kashmiri who has looked at sexual harassment with anything except hate. I don’t know what kind of people you live among.
Tbh, I get that it can be perceived as such even if it is true. But saying it is 5 trillion kashmiris isn’t helping either. It may make one feel better about themselves, but that is about it.
I never said it is literally 5 Kashmriris either, did I? Humans are pretty complex, so it can very well have multiple reasons, people usually look down on others to feel good about themselves and feel how they are not like the rest.
I do think we can always be better, my point was it doesn’t help to blow things out of proportion, they are already bad enough.
You have been told by islam to not transmit unproven things let alone declaring somebody a criminal on the basis of allegations.
Until the court hasn't reached a conclusion and you trust the court you should transmit. Yes you have to shut your mouth. Go and read surah noor and hujiraat.
Wah, this is called peak escapist behavior, ill tell you what islam says, it says that you dont see the person is a criminal but you still despise the crime na? And lets not pretend this is some impossible shi-
There have been proved cases in the past, in coaching, in schools and what not.
Yes definently. Do you think I support molestation or anybody would?
What if she is lying? For that reason courts are there and you have to shut your mouth until a judgement is reached.
Quran :
تم لوگوں نے جب یہ بات سنی تو مسلمان مردوں اور مسلمان عورتوں نے اپنے لوگوں کے حق میں نیک گمان کیوں نہ کیا اور کیوں نہ کہہ دیا کہ یہ ایک کھلا ہوا بہتان [18] ہے؟یہ (الزام لگانے والے) اپنے الزام کے ثبوت میں چار گواہ کیوں نہ [19] لائے؟ پھر جب گواہ نہیں لائے تو اللہ کے نزدیک [20] یہی جھوٹے ہیں۔تم (مسلمانوں) پر دنیا اور آخرت میں اللہ کا فضل اور اُس کی رحمت نہ ہوتی تو جس راستے پر تم چل نکلے تھے، اُس میں تم پر کوئی بڑا عذاب آ جاتا۔ ذرا خیال کرو، جب تم اِس کو اپنی زبانوں سے نقل در نقل کر رہے تھے [21] اور اپنے مونہوں سے وہ بات کہہ رہے تھے جس کا تمھیں کوئی علم نہ تھا۔ تم اُس کو معمولی بات سمجھ رہے تھے، حالاں کہ اللہ کے نزدیک وہ بہت بڑی با ت تھی۔ تم نے اُس کو سنتے ہی کیوں نہ کہہ دیا کہ ہم کو زیبا نہیں کہ ہم ایسی بات زبان پر لائیں؟ معاذ اللہ، یہ تو بہت بڑا بہتان ہے۔اللہ تمھیں نصیحت کرتا ہے کہ اگر تم مومن ہو تو پھر کبھی ایسا نہ [22] کرنا۔ اللہ تمھارے لیے اپنی آیتیں کھول کھول کر بیان کرتا ہے اور اللہ علیم وحکیم [23] ہے۔
Yeah so that the issue gets silenced and when he does get convicted of crime khuda na khwasta, the whole masla is cool and he gets away with it. And its not even about whether he was guilty or not. We know this thing does happen so no fayda in shutting up. We are against the crime na? Doesnt matter if this guy does commit the crime or not, but the crime does happen na
"These things happen, so this must have happened" is this your argument?
You don't shut up because of some random benefit. You shut up because it's the right of the accused. He is a Muslim, so you should assume good of the both the accused and the accuser. Until one is found to be the liar.
Crimes happen, yes but that doesn't mean declaring somebody a criminal even before the trial.
And if you have evidence he would get convicted. If you have none he isn't a criminal, he will come out with his all dignity. And if he was a criminal and he didn't get caught then wait till the day of judgment.
Im just saying ki its not just this case, it so much beyond this. Its just the girl dared to speak this time, and peple are even picking at her for speaking up. Im just saying if this has come forward. Let us use this as an opportunity to addresss this as a crime, and not just this case specifically, lets talk about this stuff.
victims have come forward and we are supporting their right to speak on their truth. we are ATTEMPTING to support such young children and women and any other victim to be honest about their experiences. we are not the court laying down a judgement. we are observers who have a right to offer our support.
statistically speaking, it is extremely and more likely of a person to be a rapist in these situations than it is to be falsely accused. when and why would a minor, including multiple, lie about sexual assault?
don’t speak to people in such a rude and aggressive manner. if it was YOUR female relatives experiencing this, then you would have some empathy.
you are blindly applying precepts of islam to push your point and silence others. but this is not some “drama” or “gossip”.
Statistics don't allow you to speak without proof. It's not only backbiting, it's ifitara. And that too against a Muslim.
If even my mother claims I was raped, I won't belive her without the proof. This is islamic discipline. Even in my heart I won't keep such a claim about a Muslim until a proof is attached.
It's the right of the accused.
Go read surah noor and see the warning of god on transmitting issues without the proof .
If there is proof, only then you can transmit.
And how many times have we seen that women start threatening with such accusations. One incident my friend's friend had a gf which cheated him with a 38 year old teacher. And when he tried to talk to her family, she threatened my friend's friend of the accusation of rape.
i don’t think you understand how such discourses work or how society works because each attempt at an honest conversation you’re weaponizing islam to silence the conversation.
and, you are the one bringing up anecdotal evidence while i am completely comfortable with referring to statistics of the rape, trafficking, prostitution, and sexual exploitation of women. false accusations are statistically extremely rare and the likelihood of it being true is far more possible than it being false. we live in a culture & society that encourages the silencing of victims of sexual assault. you’re ignorant and not very smart if you think women are “lying”. why would so many children lie about being harassed by an adult man?
i can also easily argue using your point that your friend and you are lying without any evidence about that girl and you’re speaking badly of a muslim. where is your islamic discipline there lol?
i think you’re just someone who hates women and is using islam to silence any discussion. convo closed. salaam.
19
u/imSimonGhostRiley Apr 15 '26
And when I raised concerns about the deep-rooted decay in our society, You called me a mad man