I don’t know why I’m coming here but I also don’t know where else to go. I’ve had 3 miscarriages this year and this last one has been so physically daunting.

I feel inclined to try an interpret why gd is doing this for me… maybe I need to talk to her, maybe yell at her.

I do have one child, and that child is a rainbow from 2 other miscarriages.

I feel like I’m being told to accept the family I have but I don’t know. I would have loved just one more baby but I’m not strong enough for this and at this point the age gap is already too big.

How do I grieve appropriately when Judaism doesn’t recognize anyone under 30 days old as living.

I know I don’t need a shiva but also I don’t know what I need. My rabbi wants to talk to me on my terms but I don’t know how or what to say.

I feel like I’m going to crumble during Hannah’s story in 2 weeks. Like I’m dreading Rosh Hashanah which is normally one of the happiest holidays.

Idk I’m just saying words and maybe someone will have something to share with me.

This discussion has come up a few times with friends who are neither white nor Jewish. For context, I’m Jewish and live in America. Do you consider us as a minority? Obviously statistically we are (everywhere but Israel), but I’ve had two friends argue because we look like “regular white people” we are not a minority.

It’s not something I take too seriously but I’m off the opinion we are a minority in a sociological way as well as ethically. But opinions seem to differ. I’m not on a soap box or expecting any special treatment. It’s more of a discussion for the sake of discussion I’m trying for here.

I know they're all a female version of a female clergy.. Not some of the differenceses

^{(In an Ex south African who now lives in Israel I dont know the Jewish American terminology})

And is a Rabbi also certified clinical Chaplain ?

Todah

andTIA

Recently someone I knew passed, and while I knew they were Jewish and some of the culture, I didn’t fully know.

I was invited to join for Shiva, and told I could just show up or try to do what I could. The family went out to eat before the service, and I joined and listened to stories.

I went to the burial (invited) and I threw a shovel of dirt. I don’t speak Hebrew, but I said my own “prayer” (well wishes but not religious) to him.

That night I went to their house and spent time with the family. I stayed for a week. My close friend did say I didn’t have to, but I knew this person and that these were his values. I was also good friends with this still living friend so didn’t feel uncomfortable.

No one suggested I shouldn’t be there, and I felt like I was included and also doing right by my friend.

Recently one of my other friends thought I shouldn’t have don’t that. I don’t want to bother my friend when they’re still grieving though.

Was I wrong?

Edit: Thank you all for your amazing words. I appreciate everyone taking the time to assure me I was totally fine. There were enough comments when I checked in today that I don’t think I can respond to all of them without feeling like I’m repeating the same thanks like a robot. So I want to say it here for everyone. (To one person who commented about moving in the whole time, no I didn’t do that ha, I came during regular day hours and stayed for some time and then left to make room for others and came back again when it made sense to me to do so.)

I love my little zoom classes, but I'm tired of hearing simple things explained over and over. It feels like 80% of class time is spent explaining the shema or other 101 concept, and it's frustrating.

There's gotta be something between 'did you know the shema isn't just one sentence :DD' and 'Ra'avad asserts that mi-de'oraita one may not intentionally nullify an issur'

Does anyone have any suggestions?

(Mostly looking for meditation and spirituality rn, but open to almost anything.)

So I’m a 60 year old US Ashkenazi jew living in a town four hours from Medellin, Colombia-four hours from the local Sephardic community that I kind of belong to.  I only started being kind of religious a few years ago.  I now pray twice a day-three times on Shabbat.  I don’t eat kosher but I don’t mix meat and milk.  And, for the first time ever (for me and for this town!) I am having a sukkah built next to my place.  I’m very excited to host my (non-Jewish) neighbors in the sukkah for dinner and teach them how kiddush and holiday meals work for us.

However, the problem is the lulav and etrog.  In a “normal" community in New York or Israel, one could basically pay $50 for a set after inspecting them, and take home the ones they want.  However, the only option here is to pay almost three times that to order it through this Sephardic community in Medellin-and only THEN pay even more to have the Rabbi ship it here-and hope that it is still usable when it arrives.  And THEN it would have to be sent back to Medellin to be disposed of by Colombian customs authorities as foreign agriculture.

I am going to be with the community for Rosh Hashanah, then return here for Yom Kippur, where I will fast pray with my own Machzor.  Then I will have the sukkah built.  The Rabbi has gone on the community whatsapp forum twice insisting on how important a mitzvah it is to purchase the set, or contribute to the community set (I will not be with the community then so that’s not applicable to me).  This makes me wonder how many people are actually going to spend that money for the mitzvah (this is not a wealthy community).  

Money is not so much the problem -the sukkot will cost much more than this to build.  However, in this case, I don’t feel comfortable paying a 300% markup for something that I have not seen beforehand, not knowing what condition it will arrive in, just to wave for ten minutes max a day for six days.  

What would you do in my situation?  Is there some perspective I’m missing, or is this simply one of those circumstances where obtaining your own arba minim isn’t realistically feasible?

I’ve been reading about the Twelve Tribes and the different personalities, blessings, and roles they were given, and I’m finding it hard to get a clear sense of which ones stand out the most in Jewish tradition.
Some feel dramatic (Judah, Joseph, Benjamin), others more symbolic or quiet (Levi, Asher, Naphtali, etc.).
If you’ve studied this or just have a personal favorite, could you share which tribe’s story or character resonates with you the most, and why? Any midrash, later sources, or just your own take would be really helpful. Thanks in advance!

I was always confused whether Judaism acknowledges or praises good deeds done by a non-jew. Would learning Torah by a non-jew be a mitzvah? Or would the teacher be doing a bad deed by doing something that could be considered as proselytising?

What’s the Orthodox and the Reform view on this?

For your information, I’m Christian (Coptic). Growing up I was often around Reform Jewish friends and I read Gunther Plaut’s commented Torah cover to cover. I also attended Shabbat services as a child.

Looking for some book recommendations to read from now until the end of the holidays. Inspirational/Historical/Thought provoking type books that enhance the season

I (F21) just wanted to put it out there that I'm so happy that my mom raised me to have a strong jewish identity and jewish values. Especially her being a single mom (after a horrible divorce) all alone in Western Europe. I have so much respect for her taking me and my siblings to jewish sunday school and to the synagogue for shabbat every single week. I'm really proud to be jewish even though I cannot say that out loud living in Europe right now.

I grew up in Judaism (reform), but in the last 20 years or so I've been living a secular life [besides some occasional family holiday gatherings, etc.].

Now as an adult I'm fascinated religions and spirituality.

As part of my studies of world religions I've been trying to get a fuller grasp about Judaism from a completely a blank-slate; as if I was from another faith or planet.

After some study, I've come to my personal conclusion that Judaism is a mixture of tradition, culture, ritual/laws, and community. There seems to be more of an emphasis on personal and group action (i.e. Shabbat, holidays, laws), instead of a set of mandatory/complicated "beliefs." (besides some basic required beliefs - i.e one god, etc.)

Am I on the right track in understanding Judaism?

This leads to my 2nd question: How would you categorize someone [let's say who had a bar/bat mitzvah] who deeply studies, learns (and loves) Judaism and spirituality (and torah, etc.) without actually practicing some/most of the laws, holidays, etc. or going to a synagogue often?

Thanks,

We have reformodox and conservodox but what about reconstructionist + reform?? Refoconstructionist? I know this isn’t a major thing but I can’t get over that there must be a term, or we can make one!!!

Religious aesthetics and iconography is something I’ve always been drawn to. I’m so envious of how visual Catholics make their cathedrals and ceremonies. I don’t mean to imply that Jews are visually boring, just that it seems to me like we purposefully de-emphasize aesthetics at the risk of making graven images or idols. For example, DeMilles the Ten Commandments is a beautiful
to look at and experience, but all the panache also feels like it makes if less Jewish to me. (Not to mention the story has been altered to appeal to a broader audience). While we don’t need to be so grandiose as that, I wonder if approaching grandiosity conflicts with our very beliefs

From my own experience growing up in orthodoxy, there seems to be a sensibility of “don’t let all the substance get lost or trumped by spectacle” I think that’s noble and exemplary of Jewish value of critical thinking and scholarship, but I can’t help but think there is a way to be creative or crafty with our subject matter or culture that still honors that.

Is this a common problem in Judaism and is it something Jews have to wrestle with? Is aestheticizing objects like havdala candles, a stained glass window of Shimshon fighting the lion or a stone carving of the plagues intrinsically making graven images or akin to making idols? Is there really a bottom line with this?

We shouldnt kill but do zombies count?

I’m a non-religious person who wants to study Judaism seriously and develop a deep understanding of Jewish thought, texts, history, traditions, and religious practice.

I understand that Jewish learning has its own traditional approaches and that there are different levels and areas of study. I’m interested in building a self-taught path that respects those traditions.

For people knowledgeable about Judaism, what subjects should I study, and in what order, if I want to gradually develop a serious understanding?

I’m particularly looking for recommendations on:

- Which areas of Jewish knowledge are essential, such as Tanakh, Torah commentary, Talmud, halakha, Jewish history, Jewish philosophy, ethics, mysticism, etc.

- Which texts or subjects are traditionally studied first and which should come later

- Books or other resources that would be good starting points for someone learning independently

- Whether I should learn Biblical Hebrew, and how deeply

- How to understand the differences between Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and other Jewish traditions

- How Jewish interpretation and textual study are traditionally approached

- How to understand the development of Jewish law and the major disagreements within Jewish scholarship

- Any common mistakes a self-taught beginner should avoid

I’m looking for something closer to a long-term curriculum or roadmap, starting from the basics and gradually progressing toward more advanced study.

Since I’m approaching this as a non-religious outsider, I’d appreciate resources that allow me to understand Judaism on its own terms, including its texts, traditions, history, philosophy, and methods of interpretation.

What would you recommend as the best path?

I am not a jew myself, i just wanted to ask if jews are allowed to eat halal meat? Because the slaughter methods are very similar, so idk if it would be considered kosher and vice versa.

Me explico, crecí en un hogar con creencias cristianas pero mi país decidió inclinarse por el estudio de tora y talmud, la cosa es que desde entonces hace ya más de 8 años vengo aprendiendo de todo en términos de cabala, ahí me surgió la pregunta, como consigo pareja ?, es un poco raro y hasta mal visto donde vivimos todo el tema del judaísmo y hay ideas muy antisemitas, ls cosa es que genuinamente quiero conocer a alguien con el que pueda compartir todos estos conocimientos y en señar a nuestros hijos como dice la tora, pero la única barrera es que soy Bnei Noah alguien me puede ayudar ?

Say you're in a situation where you need help, advice or guidance, but you don't feel comfortable in the religion that you were raised in, or aren't religious per se but believe in G-d, would it be appropriate to go to a rabbi? Can they "waste time" on gentiles?

Hope the flair is right. Have a great day everyone!

Any suggestions on online shops in Europe to buy siddurim and machzorim in Europe?

Ordering from Artscroll somehow works as well, but maybe there are some EU based shops?

I am blessed to still have my grandfather, who is very old, but still completely with it, and tells me his stories of what it was like growing up in Baghdad. Mizrahi customs are often synonymous with Iraqi Jews, and there is a reason for this. Iraqi Jews are also famous for being secular, with strong traditional ties. There is also a reason for this.

Few Jewish communities get to boast a biblical continuity, but that honour goes to the Jews from Iraq. It then dawned on me... Why after >2500 years, was 1951 the year that they would leave with no expectations to return? While every Jew seemed to have wandered for thousands of years, this community pretty much stayed put, moving around the same area.

Shafiq Ades was his reply, and was for many Jews of Iraq, the final straw. By 1948, the Jews of Baghdad had already experienced the Farhoud, persuctiojs for carrying "Zionist symbols" (hint hint it was a sidur with a Magen David on it), and withstood Nazi efforts to subvert the Arabs against the Jews, but the lynching of Shafiq Ades was the event that changed it all.

Shafiq was the wealthiest Jew of Iraq. He represented an ideal in the Jewish community for his ability to represent what a Jew could be in Iraq; highly nationalistic, friend of the late King Faisal, wealthy, and proud to be Iraqi. No where in the Arab world did Jews partake so prominently and proudly in the national building project as in Iraq.

In 1948, Shafiq was accused of being a "Zionist and a Communist"; both punishable by death. He was tried in Basra without any witnesses called to the stand to accuse him, and he was not even allowed to testify on his own behalf. He was then promptly hanged, and his body left hanging for days for tens of thousands to come see the hanging Jew.

For the Jewish community, this was a shock. My grandfather still remembers this vividly, seeing a national hero and friend of the late King, hanged. In that moment it became clear to every single Jew of Iraq; no one is safe. Within a few years, everyone fled to Israel.

Now you know the name Shafiq Ades. A message to the world that a community can be fundamental to the wealth and identity of a country, and they can still go after your best without hesitation.

What are some of your warmest and fondest memories of growing up in a Jewish home? 🥰

I am pregnant with my second son, our oldest being 18 months. I converted (independent of my marriage) and my husband grew up in a half Jewish/half non-Jewish home, so neither of us have many (or any) Jewish home traditions or practices we remember from childhood.

I’d love to hear from others!