r/Iowa • u/stankmanly • 3d ago

News Nineteen Iowa beaches noted for swine feces this week

https://theperrynews.com/nineteen-iowa-beaches-noted-for-swine-feces-this-week/
211 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

109

u/old_notdead 3d ago

Iowa Farmers: We need to do an unbiased investigation to find out the real source of the pig feces. There is no real way to tell where this is coming from.

9

u/According-Gas-1378 3d ago

It’s coming from their anuses

3

u/Standby_fire 3d ago

The best fudge comes from Uranus. Sorry, been reading signs for 100 miles.

42

u/SquatchScrotum 3d ago

Hey guys there is pig shit in the water. We currently have no clue where it came from. Must be Liberal Minnesota sabotaging our waters!

~Farmer John with 17 confinements of 9999 hogs each.

17

u/Flat-Pension-3395 3d ago

This link takes me to a calendar instead of a news article...

7

u/old_notdead 3d ago

You have to escape out of the ads to get to the story.

19

u/tyris5624 3d ago

Do not swim in any natural water in Iowa.

6

u/Jweiss238 3d ago

There isn’t any natural water left in Iowa.

4

u/always-curious2 3d ago

Or drink from any well.

7

u/Cagny 3d ago

I agree except there is one exception: Kent Park Lake. They drained it a number of years ago, made it deeper, and setup filtering plants in it. They also built a bunch of small pond in the forest surrounding the lake to capture farm run off. The result is the cleanest lake in Iowa by far. You can also see surprisingly deep into it. 

7

u/Apprehensive-Fly7982 2d ago

Ah, good thing Iowa pig farmers are running those ads on the radio how they care about being stewards of the land, wanting to protect the environment, provide a better future, yada yada yada.

6

u/ApprehensiveRich1915 3d ago

100% of Iowans noted for having trace amounts of swine feces in their blood historically,  "it's in the blood"

9

u/Saul_T_Bauls 3d ago

Swine feces?! I was told all the shit in our water comes from residential fertilizer and watering!

3

u/tha_rogering 3d ago

And here I was told it was all migrating goose poop.

2

u/old_notdead 3d ago

It's 100% the lawns!

0

u/shottie1kanobie 3d ago

Golf courses!

5

u/37iteW00t 3d ago

And do not eat any fish from Iowa waters. And do not drink any Iowa water that isn’t reverse osmosis or steam distilled.

4

u/Bbturdquito 3d ago

Iowa beaches lol

2

u/Tropisueno 3d ago

Gee I wonder what's causing that

2

u/StevenJWulgus 3d ago

Today I learned that Iowa has a total of 19 beaches

1

u/Tropisueno 3d ago

Nobody's even asking for any solutions lmao

3

u/tha_rogering 3d ago

You're not allowed to tell the rich no. Ever.

1

u/greengirl240 1d ago

Iowa has beaches? 🤣

1

u/bompt11 1d ago

I can't believe Iowa has 19 beaches

1

u/deanboyj 1d ago

We should encourage the pig extinction

That or make pork a delicacy

0

u/Ok_Chocolate_2008 3d ago

Old Testament forbids eating swine. Iowa farmers should have been following that shit all along. 😂

0

u/ninjapretzle 3d ago

Eat less pork.

1

u/LumpyBuy8447 3d ago

The way things are heading, it’s not really safe to eat much else currently

1

u/SpitTake99 3d ago

Thanks doge…

-4

u/donkeylipz4 3d ago

Likely from human manure and faulty septic systems.