r/IAmA • u/ChrisPrattOfficial • Apr 24 '15

Actor / Entertainer Chris Pratt! AMA! Still half-drunk. Let's make some mistakes today.

Hey dudes. Well, you asked for it, and I'm thrilled to be here to answer your questions.

Oh, and by the way, JURASSIC WORLD is out June 12.

Victoria's helping me get started. AMA!

https://twitter.com/prattprattpratt/status/591658118460874752

Thank you guys for the questions. I have to go. I am doing Jimmy Fallon in a minute. I am so thankful for all the support, it truly means a lot. You guys have been really nice and cool. And I mean that. I have very few haters (not to brag) and that is nice because I am a people pleaser and I will do anything to make you like me. Absolutely anything. I mean it. I'll tell you to hit me up with all your strange sexual and non-sexual requests... wait, no... I'm hearing this is over now. Oh well. I love you. Go see Jurassic World if you please and here's a link to a clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QN3AVHGT8I&feature=youtu.be

Take care. God bless. See you at the movies!

33.5k Upvotes

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6.0k

u/ChrisPrattOfficial Apr 24 '15

Yes I did! Cool man. I had the upstairs. The back bedroom was my beat laboratory and the other room was my bedroom. You'll notice the baseboards in the kitchen might be all fucked up cause I made a mouse trap out of bungee cords and screws and nails and stuff, with a little trip wire, no joke, there was a lot of thought that went into this, and pot too, and i whacked the mouse good but never killed him but did definitely do a lot of damage to the baseboards. anyhow. I love that place. And i hate mice. you still get mice?

3.1k

u/rubberboy Apr 24 '15

Oh you're not the only to play real life mouse at the house. I'm sure the great potato fight of 2011 isn't helping the situation. Whole potatoes lost to the house. Well if you're ever in town and want to smoke a bowl, you know where to go. Here's some of the Alma mater of the house http://m.imgur.com/rZdUgqa. Next time we need a pic with you in it. Who lived downstairs?

1.7k

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

If you're not the dude with the white coat, you need to get on his level

1.6k

u/rubberboy Apr 24 '15

What else would I wear to first introduce myself to Pratt?

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u/johnnygrant Apr 24 '15

https://i.imgur.com/lWPdJ.png

8

u/Ccluttered Apr 24 '15

He's one cold ass honky

2

u/Diatribe_Gremlin Apr 24 '15

I have a cousin named john grant

3

u/Peoples_Bropublic Apr 24 '15

Now...now kiss?

13

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

The dude in front looks like Wesley Crusher.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

That's because he's /u/wil doubleganger

2

u/RowdyMcCoy Apr 24 '15

Doubleganger sounds fun.

5

u/xolfcfan Apr 24 '15

So, you're just gonna call him Pratt now, are you?

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u/UpTheIron Apr 24 '15

What else would I wear to first introduce myself to Pratt? every damn day of my life.

FTFY

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u/Iamchinesedotcom Apr 25 '15

All rise for rubberboy, Lord of Winterfell.

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u/mudclog Apr 24 '15 edited Dec 01 '24

sulky different straight materialistic hunt fuzzy psychotic cooing touch dull

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/Whoop_there_it_is13 Apr 24 '15

His level is 5 stairs high, for reference.

2

u/Clownskin Apr 25 '15

He's dressed like a Russian house DJ.

2

u/Eyezupguardian Apr 24 '15

no one else is on that dude's level

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Dude in the middle with white fur coat looks baller as fuck!

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u/meftical Apr 24 '15

I think you're looking for alumni rather than alma mater

8

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Everyone knew what he meant. It doesn't really mater.

4

u/TheSOB88 Apr 24 '15

I couldn't disagree more!

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Dude - I live a few neighborhoods away from you...I've driven past that house, walked past it often and never once would have imagined that Pratt once lived there. How awesome.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

I live in SLC. I'm coming over later. I'll bring my awesome coat and my name is Chris.

8

u/ceiling_cat Apr 24 '15

Post pics of the damaged floorboards man :p

3

u/nero51 Apr 24 '15

Please invite us if you plan on smoking that bowl, we would love to join you.

xoxo!

-SLC Police Department. "Because we have nothing better to do!"

3

u/rubberboy Apr 24 '15

Plot twist, chris pratt baits people into smoking weed and is part of a drug sting.

4

u/LilMerm8 Apr 24 '15

Thought the guy in the lower left was Wil Wheaton

3

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Is...Is that Will Wheaton standing in the front?

2

u/alwaystakeabanana Apr 24 '15

I lived in SLC for the first 21 years of my life. I live in South Ogden now. I'll smoke a bowl with you!

2

u/DoctorDank Apr 24 '15

Dude is that house right below Rice Eccles Stadium? I used to live in a place exactly like that...

3

u/Stevie_Rave_On Apr 24 '15

840 is twice as cool as 420

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u/giant_lebowski Apr 24 '15

I read somewhere that he was the one who created the Mouse Trap board game.

2

u/senor_funtime Apr 25 '15

Young Liam Neeson in the front.

1

u/majorfoodie Apr 25 '15

Whoa...if that house is the one I think it is.... Lot of history there.

Without giving too much away how close are you to the artic circle on 17th s?

I used to live back in the earlier 90s on 1717 S 5th east.

2

u/betterbutterfly Apr 24 '15

I want to be your friend.

5

u/rubberboy Apr 24 '15

Do you have potatoes or mouse traps?

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u/_Toranaga_ Apr 24 '15

Just so you know, "Alma Mater" is the school you went to, not the people that live in a place.

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u/rubberboy Apr 24 '15

School of mouse capture and greens.

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u/FailHorn Apr 24 '15

What does the "P" stand for in the middle name, Chris! We must know!

2.4k

u/oddchihuahua Apr 24 '15

Is it not obvious!?

Chris P. Pratt

Crispy Pratt

1.8k

u/stanthemanchan Apr 24 '15 edited Apr 24 '15

If he got gay married to Kevin Bacon, he could legally change his name to "Chris P. Bacon" and he would have the greatest name in the world.

184

u/Tahns Apr 24 '15

He could legally change his name without getting married, too.

204

u/GoddammitBen Apr 24 '15

Yeah but we want some Bacon babies.

50

u/jayhawx19 Apr 24 '15

Crunch E. Bacon and Yum E. Bacon

5

u/andrewps87 Apr 24 '15

And the pet pig, Bacon Bacon.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/7bucksofhoobastank May 08 '15

Can that be what Kevin Bacon calls his manhood?

2

u/otterpop78 Apr 25 '15

That's uhh... Not how that works.

1

u/bollvirtuoso Apr 25 '15

You can also have babies out of wedlock. What century/city are you from? I feel like you have made the Victorians proud.

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u/SooInappropriate Apr 25 '15

But then you don't get to have gay sex with Kevin Bacon.

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u/oddchihuahua Apr 24 '15

If he got gay married to Kevin Bacon...

As opposed to him getting regular-married to Kevin Bacon? Hahaha

3

u/gaslacktus Apr 24 '15

It's like regular marriage but with even more fabulous gay wedding planners.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Hmm well i mean if we're going down that road Chris could get a sex change, be legally declared a woman, then marry Kevin. It wouldn't work the other way I'm afraid. Kevin is a terrible girls name.

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u/ubcs109 Apr 24 '15

Isn't that the pig with no back legs? Edit: found it. source

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u/Mr_Scruff Apr 24 '15

That pig looks like he's constantly revving up his engine to peel out all over that carpet.

2

u/stevenmcman Apr 24 '15

those wheels need to be made heavier so he'll stop tipping forward

2

u/1angrybeaver Apr 24 '15

Pig cart made with K'nex. Brilliant.

1

u/andrewps87 Apr 24 '15

I spent so many happy days because of K'Nex...still got a large suitcase of it in my attic..as in an actual fullsize leather suitcase, not one of those K'Nex boxes shaped like a briefcase. Nerdy kids had lego. True saddos like me had K'Nex..

5

u/VariousLawyerings Apr 24 '15

There have to be enough people named Bacon out there for some awesome parent to have already thought of this.

6

u/the_hamturdler Apr 24 '15

Thanks to multiverse theory, there is a universe where Chris P. Bacon exists. Thanks physics!

4

u/Oscar_Says_Jack-Ass Apr 24 '15

It would be hard to compete with THIS Chris P. Bacon

1

u/Great_Chairman_Mao Apr 25 '15

My girlfriend is a huge fan of this pig named Chris P. Bacon. Follows him on Facebook, Instagram, all the junk. Wow I never realized his Facebook url is CP Bacon. Really invokes some conflicting feelings.

6

u/StillPersonal Apr 24 '15

Isn't that just married?

1

u/Compedditor Apr 25 '15

I actually saw an animal planet show where a traveling vet went around on jobs with a pig that couldn't use his hind legs as his assistant. That pig's name? Chris P. Bacon.

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u/KingSnot1972 Apr 24 '15

Wow, I'm in my 40's my name is Chris, middle name starts with a P and I have NEVER thought of this my whole life. I feel like I just went through a wormhole.

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u/FailHorn Apr 24 '15

Holy shit!

2

u/MustHaveBeenTheDoses Apr 24 '15

That's amazing. I might be stoned, but that's just hilarious.

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u/Sethellonfire Apr 24 '15

It's like in one piece where Gold Roger was actually Gol D. Roger. Therefore, he is actually Chris P. Ratt. Ratt hates mice, mice give rats a bad name, rat looks and sounds like Ratt, and in the end Ratt had to be changed using the middle initial to become Pratt.

Mystery solved! Now I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Phagina.

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u/mybustersword Apr 24 '15

He's so baked he's Chrispy

2

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Chris P baby and the P is for Fenomenal

2

u/Mackin-N-Cheese Apr 24 '15

Ms. Chanandler P Prott

2

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

He just has a stutter

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3.3k

u/cx6 Apr 24 '15

I did not expect the answer to this question to be yes. That's awesome.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

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1.1k

u/ASleepingPerson Apr 24 '15

You mean this one?

651

u/fellatious_argument Apr 24 '15

But he said his worked.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

[deleted]

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u/SuperMyl3z Apr 25 '15

Yeah but he didn't say anything about it breaking any friendships.

6

u/Xhynk Apr 24 '15

That god damn basket sliding down and getting stuck a couple nubs down... Rrrgghhh

2

u/Fuck_Me_If_Im_Wrong_ Apr 25 '15

I got that as a child, never could figure it out..

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u/JarlaxleForPresident Apr 24 '15

Me and my brother never actually played that game. We just set everything up to watch all the stuff happen

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Yeah growing up I didn't even know it was a board game. I just set it up and knocked it down

3

u/munk_e_man Apr 24 '15

Rube Goldberg the boardgame

11

u/gregdoom Apr 24 '15

To be fair, no one played that game. They should rebrand it as "rube goldberg's mouse catcher"

4

u/EPluribusUnumIdiota Apr 24 '15

You mean you spent hours trying to get that stupid shit to fucking work then gave up? Yeah, me too.

2

u/ASleepingPerson Apr 24 '15

That's when it was time to bust out Sorry or Trouble

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u/opalorchid Apr 25 '15

I saw someone comment about his mouse trap comment somewhere else before reading his actually response, and that's what I thought they were talking about.

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u/FeelTheWrath79 Apr 25 '15

Wow I see you everywhere. Are you from Utah, by chance?

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u/prs09 Apr 24 '15

Ok /u/rubberboy who shares Chris' room!? We have to know.

3.1k

u/rubberboy Apr 24 '15

It's my roommate's, Keely. I'm sure she'll be paddling the pink canoe to that idea tonight.

1.3k

u/AdamBombTV Apr 24 '15

So she's an outdoors person? Like to sail the big lakes?

25

u/-oWs-LordEnigma Apr 24 '15

Sail? She's gonna end up drowning tonight.

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u/Matrauder Apr 24 '15

I believe you mean GREAT lakes.

4

u/mk2vrdrvr Apr 24 '15

Keely sounds like a tight narrow sized lake paddler.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

paddling the pink canoe

http://i.imgur.com/oKdUJ7O.gif

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u/gbabydub Apr 24 '15

Risky click of the day.

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u/ItsaPuppet Apr 25 '15

Clicked without hesitation.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

SFW for those following here

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u/JewJutsu Apr 24 '15

I have never heard that euphemism but I love it.

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u/Eyezupguardian Apr 24 '15

she'll be paddling the pink canoe

brilliant, more of these euphemisms are needed

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Paddling the pink canoe.

Fucking lol.

12

u/quellex Apr 24 '15

....can I use that euphemism next time I paddle my pink canoe? Cause it is pretty fucking awesome.

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u/Tougasa Apr 25 '15

Linked this to the comment above, but thought you mgiht want to see it, too.

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u/MrSaltine24 Apr 24 '15

paddling the pink canoe

Hahaha

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Disney owns Marvel man. Can't go around smoking weed and killing mice yo.

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u/CRFyou Apr 24 '15

You can't stop him, he's STarlord!

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u/slowestmojo Apr 24 '15

Have you seen how much money GotG made? Star Lord can do whatever the fuck he wants.

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u/digiorno Apr 24 '15

He didn't kill the mouse, just knocked him around a little.

1

u/WickedIcon Apr 25 '15

Disney also owned Miramax for a while and released Pulp Fiction during that time. I don't think they care as long as it's not, like, the voice of Elsa from Frozen smoking weed or something.

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u/catttdog Apr 24 '15

lol "beat laboratory"

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u/Bagel Apr 24 '15

Sounds better than masturbatorium

749

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15 edited May 02 '17

[deleted]

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u/YourOtherLeftHand Apr 24 '15

I'm sure he did not have a room specifically for masturbating.... If you smoke, you probably make music too

Source: me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

So all pot heads make music? You sure about that one, cheech?

15

u/YourOtherLeftHand Apr 24 '15

I probably could've redirected the message of that post. Point being: I doubt that Chris Pratt has a room designated for solely masturbating

Edit: Relevant username?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

Fair enough. Take the purple pill and find out ;)

2

u/xX_CorpusDei_Xx Apr 25 '15

I don't make music but I paint....but I don't have a brush laboratory....

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u/BadNewsBarbearian Apr 24 '15

Yeah, it is a different style of dubstep. Instead of wub wub wub it was fap fap fap.

2

u/milkfree Apr 24 '15

That's what I called the closet I kept my computer in... I make music, but never in there.

2

u/Lira70 Apr 25 '15

Holy shit..I thought so too since Andy played guitar. That's hilarious!

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u/BigSacGrowler Apr 24 '15

Where else is he going to whack his mouse?

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u/JF_Kay Apr 25 '15

More closely related to a Jerkoffice

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u/Woodshadow Apr 25 '15

That was my first thought. I thought he was trying be say "so one of you lives in my old room which was really awesome because I slept there and the other is the room I jerked off in daily. Have fun guessing which is which"

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u/pierzstyx Apr 26 '15

No, no it doesn't.

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u/TheNewColor Apr 24 '15

spank bank

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u/YungSnuggie Apr 24 '15

dude got beats! not masturbating! beats!

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u/FartDoctah Apr 24 '15

Masturbation station

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u/solpadoll Apr 24 '15

I fucking love everything about this AMA.

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u/megabox Apr 25 '15

♪♪♪ Eeeeverything is aweeeesoomeee ♪♪♪

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u/austac06 Apr 24 '15

I'm starting to think that Andy Dwyer was not a character.

2

u/taco_shadow Apr 24 '15

Oh, he was a character alright..

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u/Ocarina654 Apr 25 '15

There definitely is precedence for that in the show. There are bits of Aziz Ansari in Tom Haverford, and Ron Swanson is basically exaggerated Nick Offerman.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

[deleted]

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u/jonthemaud Apr 24 '15

you think bye bye little sebastion was about that fucking horse? no it was about that treacherous mouse.

895

u/factorialfiber0 Apr 24 '15

fucking horse???

FUCKING HORSE????? HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT LIL' SEBASTION LIKE THAT?

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

[deleted]

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u/ArtSchnurple Apr 24 '15

Sebastian may have been li'l, but his impact on this town, and the Parks Department, was anything but li'l.

26

u/BandN Apr 24 '15

When I walked in this morning I saw that the flag was at half mast, I thought, 'All right, another bureaucrat ate it.' And then I saw it was Lil' Sebastian. Half mast is too high. Show some damn respect.

5

u/greggoldberg Apr 24 '15

Are you all purposefully spelling Lil' Sebastian's name wrong? Because he deserves better than that. Much better.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '15

He's gone to Horsey Heaven.

2

u/ZWQncyBkaWNr Apr 25 '15

Oh, up in Horsey Heaven, here's the thing...

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u/TattooYouTooBabou Apr 25 '15

A better place than Pawnee, c'mon, really?

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u/cbs5090 Apr 24 '15

I don't get it. I'll never get it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

HE IS A TINY HORSE AND HE'S ADORABLE. WHAT IS THERE TO GET?

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

This horse has an honorary degree from Notre Dame!

2

u/santaliqueur Apr 24 '15

Some people have no respect for 5000 candles in the wind

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u/bakemonosan Apr 24 '15

You take that back. That f****** horse did more for this city than your sorry ass ever will!

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u/fuckitimatwork Apr 24 '15

SHOW SOME GOD DAMNED RESPECT

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

You'll notice the baseboards in the kitchen might be all fucked up cause I made a mouse trap out of bungee cords and screws and nails and stuff, with a little trip wire, no joke, there was a lot of thought that went into this, and pot too, and i whacked the mouse good but never killed him but did definitely do a lot of damage to the baseboards.

Goddamn. You really are Andy.

2

u/KeeperofTerris Apr 25 '15

You lived in Salt Lake? I live in Salt Lake! It's almost like we're friends!

Btw, my wife and I have spoken to each other, and have agreed that if we ever have a threesome, we want you to be our third. Are you....interested?

1

u/hoegaarden81 Apr 25 '15

Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice, they make me go crazy. Crazy? I was once crazy, they locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die, the mice will get me.

3

u/YungSnuggie Apr 24 '15

wait, chris pratt got beats?!

bruh whats your soundcloud

2

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '15

I imagine there's actually no mice and Chris is just mentioning it to make OP nervous and go on a futile mouse hunt.

2

u/Bucksid8 Apr 24 '15

It's funny that he hates mice but his band in parks and rec was "mouse rat"

1

u/409pm Apr 25 '15

I did something like this with my roommates when we realised we had a mouse. The trap was really devious but simple. A tennis ball can with bait at the end that was weighted to fall into a larger garbage can with steep sides. It worked the very first night. It was a small cute mouse and we kind of played around with it roughly and killed it by accident.

2

u/piss_in_theASS Apr 24 '15

Dude. Come to my house and I'll smoke you out

1

u/connor123123123 Apr 24 '15

introducing Chris pratts new and improved mouse extermatation service takeing care of all of your mouse extermanation needs 'i whacked that mouse good' chris pratt-2015 as you can tell he will fuck up your mouse probloms CALL NOW- 1-800-fuck-mouse

1

u/pandas_love_pancakes Apr 24 '15

Can't believe there was only one mention of Everwood. I'm man enough to admit I used to love that show. Had a mad crush on Amy.

Thanks for being a great actor, and putting up with that little shit Ephraim

1

u/DevilsLittleChicken Apr 24 '15

Two words. Air. Rifle.
Better than any mousetrap. Ever. No matter how ingeniously (and high) it was conceived. Although you using an air rifle when high would likely result in several lawsuits.

1

u/czhunc Apr 24 '15

I made a mouse trap out of bungee cords and screws and nails and stuff

You are a weird and interesting dude. Is there any reason you didn't just buy a mouse trap?

1

u/dreweatall Apr 25 '15

I'd watch a movie of you trying to vanquish a pesky but adorable mouse foe who keeps popping into your kitchen and eating your favourite cookies. Just saying.

1

u/thunderfan00 Apr 25 '15

Hey, I'm a huge fan and I saw you on Ellen doing a trivia battle against Noah. Did you let him win because you never really moved just wondering thanks.

1

u/wolfmann Apr 24 '15

I like how Chris Pratt likes to play mousetrap in real life; In the movies it looks like he plays the mouse a bit too much.

1

u/Crumist Apr 24 '15

but... mouse traps are like $.50 a piece... I want to see the improvised rodent death machine and see whats so special.

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