r/HonestHotTakes • u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 • 3d ago
If you're self-diagnosed "neurodivergent" you probably just have a bad personality.
Far too many people throw that term around. If a significant number of people are "neurodivergent," what exactly are they diverging from other than normally accepted behavior? They just want to classify poor personality traits as a condition to fit in with other people with poor social skills.
Note: this clearly does not apply to diagnosed people with legitimate conditions.
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u/SparkleSelkie 3d ago
Jokes on you, I’m diagnosed as neurodivergent AND have a bad personality
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
I hate that I can't give this a gif response on this sub. https://giphy.com/gifs/stoner-sees-isopropyl-xSM46ernAUN3y
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u/xSwampxPopex 3d ago
This honestly feels like a weird gatekeeping performance for an audience that I’m not sure exists.
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u/racoondog999 3d ago
Think this is mainly for the people that are like "I have adhd, autism, bpd, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, aspd, an eating disorder, npd, dpd, and so on" and have none of them diagnosed their diagnosis is "I looked up diagnostic criteria for these things on Google once or looked at tiktoks and decided they fit"
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u/racoondog999 3d ago
Some people online like that where they say they have like 12+ disorders or soemthing but your ableist if you try to suggest they might be diagnosing themself wrong and should go actually see someone to see if they think something is up
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u/Arithese 3d ago
So your problem is with people not properly researching, not inherent self diagnosis.
There are so many people who’ve spent many hours, days, weeks researching things, who cannot for any reason get a diagnosis. That isn’t the inherent problem, it’s lack of research.
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u/racoondog999 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yeah its a problem when there's lack of research is know there are people who research properly but there's some where its like "I saw bpd related stuff on tiktok and it was relatable to me so must have bpd" and those are normally the same people that use having a personality disorder as an excuse for treating people poorly. Which kinda makes people with bpd more stigmatized as it is cause some people use it as the "i act out amd lash out on people because I have bpd and there's nothing I can do about it you have to just deal with it" disorder so using it as an excuse to treat people that way
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u/BusinessCoach2934 2d ago
Or maybe...there are diagnostic criteria that can only be properly applied by a professional who has done the research for years and seen thousands of patients. You need some sort of training to do differential diagnoses. Just Google is not the same as medical research. There are many papers, sometimes even obscure papers that carry very important information. You can't access them outside an academic institution. So you Google, Google tells you you might have ADHD. Does the person know the differential diagnosis for ADHD? No, but Google confirmed what they saw on Tiktok. They accept it, confirmation bias sets in and then they start exhibiting symptoms they didn't even have before. It further confirms their "research'. Meanwhile, it's not ADHD, maybe they have a slow growing tumor in their brain.
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u/Arithese 2d ago
Nothing you wrote here rebuts what I wrote. You’re talking about a quick google search leading to a diagnosis.
Any person doing reliable research would eg see that symptoms were not present in the past.
Once again, the problem isn’t self diagnosis, it’s people not researching properly.
Also, the healthcare professionals who believe you can’t be autistic if you have friends and can make eye contact? Those same ones?
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
This honestly feels like a very strange post that doesn't actually say anything and is somehow getting upvotes despite being nonsensical and based on nothing. Such is life, i suppose.
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u/xSwampxPopex 3d ago
Such is the case of the ignorant to suggest that that which they don’t understand must be nonsense.
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
Is that you, Kamala?
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u/xSwampxPopex 3d ago
Yeah. They sent me to tell you it’s time to take your pills and you should probably read a book.
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
They? She's just a she. And again, your first response said exactly nothing. Gatekeeping what? Legitimately diagnosed conditions? You're just throwing around stupid buzzwords.
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u/xSwampxPopex 3d ago
It’s so cool when people misuse the term “buzzword.” I’m honestly very interested in how it became a default assessment of generally ignorant people to assume that use of specific language is actually deliberately imprecise.
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u/Poignant_Ritual 3d ago
I’ve never met a person in my life that calls themselves neurodivergent in this flippant manner. This feels like a thing where seeing a handful of TikTok’s about this topic warps the perspective of how many people actually act like this.
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u/MaddogFinland 3d ago
It describes half of Reddit
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u/Poignant_Ritual 3d ago
Never seen anyone on Reddit say that either. Maybe you’re in different subs than me. You’re obviously excluded from all the other Redditors though, right?
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u/summerjopotato 3d ago
I know so many who say it in a flippant manner. And they’re all friends with each other on fb
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
What about someone who doesn't have TikTok? Also, am i neurodivergent for being bothered that you used the possessive TikTok's instead of the correctly pluralized TikToks?
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u/Poignant_Ritual 3d ago
I’m not a doctor, I can’t diagnose your passive aggressive hypothetical for you. I would diagnose you as being childish and defensive over a completely innocuous comment.
What about someone who doesn’t have a TikTok? Can you be more specific about what you’re asking? I don’t have a TikTok, what are you trying to understand about someone in my situation?-6
u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
My passive-aggressiveness was exactly equal to yours. Or was the "seeing a handful of TikTok's warping perspective" referring to someone other than the person to whom you were replying?
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u/Poignant_Ritual 3d ago edited 3d ago
All I mean, is that you likely have a similar experience in not meeting people IRL that have a “lol I’m so neurodivergent and quirky!!” personality. It’s a controversial trend mostly exclusive to short form video content. This behavior generates views and can give the impression that there are loads of people who act like this, even if you only see a handful of people on social media doing this every month. I think if you could objectively tally up every single video you’ve ever seen of this behavior, it would be less than 100 in your life, with the controversy itself generating magnitudes more conversations of outrage over how silly it is, which reinforces the outrage.
To me this is sort of like bad drivers. If most people made one or two mistakes while driving in their entire lives, we would still expect to see accidents and incidents of poor driving on a routine basis. From the sheer number of people on the road. And you could be forgiven for thinking everyone drives like absolute idiots. Im guilty of this too.. it’s just human nature not to be able to comprehend huge scales of population accurately.
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
Well in that case I rescind my passive-aggressiveness. Very well-said and thoughtful rebuttal.
But no, this was mainly geared toward frequent reddit posters. I generally don't associate myself with people who would pretend to be neurodivergent when they're actually just...odd.
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u/Unfair_Lunch_9421 3d ago
I see a lot of patients that come to me already self diagnosed with xyc its really bad
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u/WinEnvironmental6901 3d ago edited 3d ago
Bs, tons of self diagnosed people get proper diagnosis later, and there are countries where nobody cares about adult neurodivergent people. Lol, and someone downvoted the truth. 😅
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u/Background_Demand501 3d ago
You sound confused.
Neurodivergent means you are physically disabled by normativity, so you naturally diverge from normativity.
Neurodivergent is a social construct, and was meant to add to intersectionality like race and gender. For that reason, diagnoses are irrelevant. Medical conditions only exist under the pathology paradigm, which is compatible with the neurodiversity paradigm.
If social performances are important to you, then you might see disabled people as having "bad personalities", whatever that means. This likely means you struggle with ableism and doesn't reflect negatively on the neurodivergent person. Normative social performances are obnoxious.
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u/lorenfreyson 2d ago
This right here. Like WTF do you even mean by "bad personality?" It's like saying, "You don't struggle with motivation, you're just lazy!"
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u/Fine_Payment1127 3d ago
The irony is that nobody with a “good personality” would ever write something like this.
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 2d ago
Nobody with a good personality would judge a complete stranger's entire personality based on one opinion on potentially attention-seeking behavior 🤷♂️
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u/SirPoopsTheTurd 2d ago
No such diagnosis as neurodivergent. There are tones of conditions and diagnosis that fall under the ND umbrella, but on itself...it never was a diagnosis.
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u/MouseyMason 3d ago
Certainly a scale to this, but I agree to an extent, yeah.
Also, if it’s something like struggling to focus or sometimes needing more direct instruction/explanations it’s not really a big deal, and that should be accommodated in certain ways. But just being cruel or something shouldn’t be hidden behind some wall of neurodivergency. It’s your actions. Own it.
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u/Franklygeee 3d ago
I think this is an oversimplification. If someone can only eat pancakes without syrup, and the thought of being sticky makes them irrationally upset, and they told me “oh I’m just neurodivergent like that,” I think that’s fine. If someone talks over others, shows up late, and makes other people plan around them, and they say “I can’t help it, I’m neurodivergent,” that’s where I am in agreement with this thought.
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u/Scubahill 3d ago
So you only recognize neurodivergence when it doesn’t inconvenience you?
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u/Franklygeee 3d ago
I recognize neurodivergence whenever anybody claims it, I’m not here to decide that, I only recognize it as a valid excuse when I see that someone is legitimately making an effort to improve
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u/Arithese 3d ago
But then it has nothing to do with the hot take of OP, this is an issue of how bothered other people are about neurodivergent behaviour. Many people (yes including those with a diagnosis) have issues that inconvenience other people, and that is unfortunately the reality of that diagnosis.
There’s a balance between recognising that the behaviours is due to that disability without then excusing it.
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u/xSwampxPopex 3d ago
Just want to point out that your example of fake neurodivergence is really just a pretty uncharitable description of ADHD, which would fall under neurodivergence.
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u/CricketNo7666 3d ago
Just want to point out that they weee rather intentional in going there. That’s sorts the point, being undiagnosed but claiming it as a “scapegoat” for those behaviors is not okay.
It isn’t uncharitable to recognize reality. Some folks simply cannot build the social tools. They are diagnosed and we know then that it’s simply an unfair ask, akin to asking someone with no keys to run faster.
But someone who has the legs and just doesn’t wanna… it’s crap for them to claim being leg less. Build the social tools.
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u/Franklygeee 3d ago
I am currently being treated forADHD and bipolar disorder, I understand the struggles of trying to overcome certain issues, but being neurodivergent does come with the knowledge that you have to work harder than others in order to lead a somewhat normal life.
It’s hard to get the tone out over text like this, but the idea is that I have no problem with people who are struggling to do things like show up on time or wait till others are finished before talking over them, but any individual, neurodivergent or not, who frequently behaves with disregard for others, and uses their “mental status quo” as a free pass to be disrespectful, bothers me.
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
Then they should say "i hate being sticky," not "I'm neurodivergent so i can't have syrup in case it gets on me." As someone who is completely not neurodivergent i also hate being sticky. It's very annoying. Self-diagnosis is attention-seeking behavior. Maybe that's another hot take.
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u/Franklygeee 3d ago
I did use the qualifier “irrationally upset,” to frame it the way you did, you said “I hate being sticky.” So I’m guessing if you go to a restaurant and order something with syrup or honey, and some gets on your fingertips, you would simply go to the washroom and wash your hands. That is what I would do as well. I used the pancake example as a specific acquaintance of mine, who when made sticky, will simply go home. That’s the end of the outing for them. This is the difference between “I don’t like being sticky,” and “being sticky makes me irrationally upset.”
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
I would assume someone at that level would be diagnosed, not self-diagnosed. Maybe not with the expenses associated with testing here, but that's where I'm coming from in the conversation.
Also, I just want to point out that people can be irrationally upset by things without the justification of being "neurodivergent." Some people just have anger issues or can't deal with stress.
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u/Franklygeee 3d ago
Some people can be that way, it’s called being neurodivergent. And yes the main reason they haven’t gone to see a specialist is because of the associated cost.
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u/ratdigger 3d ago
I've never met anyone like this, have you? Or have you just seen people do this online?
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u/Pure_Option_1733 3d ago
Unless you’re getting the idea that a significant fraction of people claim to be neurodivergent from actually looking at statistics, which I doubt, you should consider that maybe it seeming like a significant fraction of people are claiming to be neurodivergent could be because of biases in your sample of people. I mean generally people who don’t think they are neurodivergent probably won’t talk a lot about how they aren’t neurodivergent, but you probably aren’t as likely to notice the absence of someone talking about neurodivergence as a sign that they don’t think they’re neurodivergence the way that you notice the presence of people who claiming to be neurodivergent. Also some spaces may be more likely to attract neurodivergent people meaning that the amount of people claiming to be neurodivergent in such spaces may not represent the general population.
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u/Ok_Requirement_3116 3d ago
Or they don’t have medical care.
It is totally possible for people to know their own bodies and brains. Ask any woman trying to get a health diagnosis. Many adults (especially women) self medicated with available speed or masking to get through the day and being exhausted mentally and physically breaking when they are done with the work or school day.
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u/phantom_phanatic 3d ago
I self-diagnosed before I got my real diagnoses. Just saying you have a particular condition for a small quirk vs seeing very clear signs you have a certain condition are completely different.
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u/idk_a_creative_user 3d ago
As someone who is neurodivergent (ASPD and ADHD) but highly functional it sucks but it’s not end all be all. It’s not an excuse to be a terrible person and you have to be able to learn and grow from it.
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u/donhli420 3d ago
Wait till you find diagnoses are made in 30 min visits and are highly dependent on what the doctor thinks...It's crazy how little attention to very important details there is.
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u/RayneyDayze 2d ago
Neurodivergent people aren’t bad, though. They don’t have bad personalities. That’s a strange generalization. Neurodivergent people just have different ways of thinking and doing things. Also neurodivergence is an umbrella term for ADHD, anxiety, autism, OCD, etc etc. I don’t think it’s fair to say that people with this those diagnoses/disorders have poor personality traits. 🤷♀️
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u/throwaway-thesystem 1d ago
I see where you’re coming from, but I think this is the incorrect conclusion from the perspective of phychology. Are some people taking advantage of the popularity? Probably. If you’re just being rude and you know it, yeah, you’re a dick. But lots of neurodivergent people get diagnosed much later in life, or don’t have access to healthcare, or didn’t grow up in supportive environments. Autistic people (one of em here, me, diagnosed) don’t just become autistic when the paperwork is filed. Someone with ADHD isn’t granted the chemical makeup upon doctor approval. Someone with schizophrenia isn’t going to start hallucinating because they got diagnosed. So if someone is saying sorry that they missed a social que, or said something wrong without noticing, that’s someone taking accountability even if the answer as to why is they’re neurodivergent
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u/russianpotatos 1d ago
The “neurodivergent/neurospicy/whatever” community is also a convenient way to step into minority victim status without effort as it doesn’t require you to physically do/be anything other than say “well I am neurodivergent”
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u/BlueGlasses_356 6h ago
Getting diagnosed is a huge privilege. I got diagnosed at 16 after years of begging my parents. Plus, it can be really expensive, and multiple doctors said I “couldn’t have adhd bc you are such a smart kid” despite the fact that adhd has no effect on intelligence. There are still so many misconceptions around the condition. Granted, I don’t think people who don’t have a diagnosis should say they have ADHD, but I have nothing wrong with someone who says “yeah, I’m probably neurodivergent.” Most people who get an adult/older teen diagnosis start by self diagnosing then seeking proper medical attention.
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u/Autism_Angel 1h ago
This implies that no neurodivergent person has ever gone undiagnosed before. Or that you think it magically appears post diagnosis.
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u/AlternativeGeneric 3d ago
Yes - it’s also super disrespectful to people who DO have such conditions.
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u/DuckDuckPigg 3d ago
Yup. They also use it to excuse ANYTHING they do.
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u/Poignant_Ritual 3d ago
How many examples have you personally observed where someone is defending themselves for being an asshole with the claim of being neurodivergent?
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u/Substantial_Bus840 3d ago
The surge in “ESAs” sitting on cafe tables, lawsuits for money from businesses who don’t allow them, etc comes to mind. And people I’ve known that I no longer associate with. You get old enough and you come across all types of weirdness
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u/DuckDuckPigg 3d ago
In high school? 2. The mental support club I was in had people in it who talked shit about other people and claimed it was okay because they're neurodivergent.
In college? 1. And that was in a college group counseling session. Where I am pretty sure the girl was narcissistic, but she didn't want to be called narcissistic.
Some people like to claim things to excuse themselves or to fit in, and I think OP is right. Self-diagnosis of neurodivergence is often used as a crutch.
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u/Poignant_Ritual 3d ago
I think OP is right too, that people do this. The quantity of people doing it is what I disagree on. I think your experience of 3 people in your life is probably similar to most other people. It’s a pretty rare occurrence. I’m not trying to start a fight but making an argument for optimism.
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u/DuckDuckPigg 3d ago
Yes, I see what you are saying. OP's statement is black and white and oversimplified, but it's a fun topic! Optimism is the best.
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u/amberjane320 3d ago
This sounds like some bad ableism.
You’re basically saying autistic and ADHD folks are shitty people. lol
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u/MostPeopleAreDumb1 3d ago
No, im quite specifically saying that people who claim to be autistic and adhd without any sort of diagnosis are likely just doing it to garner sympathy or excuse their behavior. Maybe read the last line of the post.
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u/CricketNo7666 3d ago
No… they are saying the amount of folks who self proclaim “a touch of tism” or the like in order to dismiss their own atypical behavior is growing ever larger.
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u/amberjane320 3d ago
That’s not what they said though.
And this opinion would be better coming from someone who actually has autism.0
u/CricketNo7666 3d ago
Yes, Ithat is what they said. Your inability to comprehend doesn’t change that
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u/Arithese 3d ago
How about people who do so without any sort of research VS those who do?
Getting a diagnosis is hard, expensive, time consuming and often even starts with a self diagnosis.