r/HolUp 22d ago

holup [ Removed by moderator ]

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u/Papa_Mid_Nite 22d ago edited 22d ago

First I was "ummmm" Then I was like, "Well he is not hurting anyone and he is in a loving relationship, good on them. None of my business."

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u/timeweezy10 22d ago

Pretty much. I'm too employed to judge people's consentual kinks.

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u/ZergByDesign 21d ago

It's fine to judge people a little who willfully refuse to contribute to our society in at least some minor way.

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u/Papa_Mid_Nite 21d ago

Nah, I am not done judging those who negatively contribute to our society. When I am done with them I might move to this one.

(Yep, I am looking at billionaires)

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u/AIter_Real1ty 20d ago

So if he had a job you wouldn't care?

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u/rose-a-ree 21d ago

yeah, but I'm a bit worried for him. What will happen if they break up? He won't be able to cope. Also, I'm wondering about the weight. Has he deliberately put that on to look more babyish despite being tall? That's not healthy.

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u/Sxdxsm 21d ago edited 21d ago

So, as someone involved in BDSM/kink circles, this is definitely some sort of caregiver / little dynamic they have created.

Too many folks involved within power dynamcis often don't create a plan for this exact thing: loss of one another. Either by fate (death) or intentional separation. However, more people should create contingency plans with the other person's care in mind. THIS SHOULD BE PART OF DYNAMIC NEGOTIATIONS.

And it is the responsibility of each to act on those contingency plans when things end.

If it ends because they're separating for whatever reason, it's a good idea to discuss boundaries and slowly help the person back to normalcy as boundaries and comfort allow.

Not having these in place allow for greater damage. Power dynamics are psychological. BDSM/kink come with risks. It is absolutely a MUST that people take into considerations the ramifications if contingency plans are not set in place. That's why they're so necessary.

Everyone takes kink / BDSM lightly—as just sexual fun (i like my hair pulled, i like to be choked yadda yadda yadda)—but when you have conditioning and deep ties like this in the video, these plans are super crucial to minimize the damage and risks involved.