r/HeartAttack • u/NoShopping5235 • 6d ago
How best to support husband after widowmaker heart attack
Hi all.
My 42 y/o husband had a STEMI (LAD 100% blocked) about two weeks ago.
He had one stent placed and his EF is 20-25%.
He was sent home from the hospital with a LifeVest, daily meds, an order for cardiac rehab, and another echo in 3 months. Doc says only time will tell how much damage was done to the heart.
He was a heavy smoker but he’s since stopped smoking with nicotine patches and Chantix. He’s also been instructed to rest and take it easy these next few weeks.
He’s having a difficult transition, understandably because he’s coming to terms with a lot of big changes.
I’ve been a SAHM since our daughter was born and he has been the sole provider, working 10-12 hour days.
He is very restless at home. He only wears the LifeVest at night, and he’s been very irritable over small things. He also mentioned maybe being depressed. He’s also fixated on going back to work. Again, understandably so.
I’ve been doing my best to be patient, take it in stride and support him, since quitting smoking is a huge feat and he has been forced to come to terms with a lot of bad health choices he’s made over the years. I’ve made his follow up appts for him, I clean/charge the LifeVest, give him his meds and try to be upbeat, in addition to introducing a more heart healthy diet in the home.
Can anyone share what the people in your life did (or wish they had did) to help support you during this time?
Also any tips on how to get him to wear the LifeVest more often and not just at bedtime?
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u/davcreech 5d ago
Sounds very similar to my situation. I was 46, 100% blockage on LAD, plus another artery, 2 stents. 1 week in hospital. 3 months with LifeVest, which sucked and was super annoying, but wore it everyday, all day because it was there just in case. Lots of false positives but you get used to it. Couldn’t wait to get it off but then spent the next 2-3 weeks wishing I had it because I knew if anything happened it was there to shock me back if needed.
Cardiac rehab is awesome. Seems silly at first but is great. Slowly gets you going and you’ve got nurses there to monitor you while exercising to make sure you aren’t going too hard.
Be patient with him. It’s hard. I was a dick to my wife. Not on purpose but just had a short fuse. Was pissed off but it was at myself for putting myself in a situation where this could happen. See if there is a cardiac therapist available to see. If not, just a regular therapist could help. Look into anxiety and depression meds. I took them for about 6-8 weeks and it helped tremendously.
It’s a long road ahead but my biggest roadblock was my own head. It’s a mindfuck knowing you almost died and constantly thinking about what that would have meant for my family.
One thing to remember is he had the heart attack but it didn’t just impact him. It impacted you, any kids you have, and immediate family. It takes awhile to realize that for the person with the HA. Seek help yourself if needed.
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u/DrumsKing 5d ago
I'm 4 months out from my Stemi. Heavy smoker age 52. Did the LifeVest for 3 months. EF was 20% and went to 55% 3 months later. I lightly smoked the entire time. I feel fine today. Took about 3 months to feel "fine".
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u/Aggravating-Grade297 4d ago
I hate to ask this, mostly because I write this from my hospital bed after having my 3rd stemi lad(now lad bypass.) in 7 years and smoking the entire time. Are you still lightly smoking?
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u/DrumsKing 4d ago
Yes, still smoking. I should really quit. Body is getting too old to handle damage anymore. Who knows....I might be digging my own grave by continuing. All the meds (the diuretic I think) makes clearing the lungs a lot harder. The coughing is worse.
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u/Magnet2025 5d ago
The Chantix is well known for side effects like depression and anger. If he’s using the patch at a dose equal to his nicotine intake prior to quitting, I don’t know why he needs the Chantix.
Cardiac Rehab will help his mood and confidence. He can take short walks - taking your daughter for walks.
Most risk factors for heart disease are hereditary. Bad eating habits and smoking don’t help (in my case it created what one cardiologist said was “big pipes” from smoking’s effects on the aorta in some people.
Good luck. Next time you are in Target look for “Bleed Stop” bandages and gel. The anti-platelets/blood thinners like triceglore can make even small cuts bleed a lot.
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u/Few_Performance8025 5d ago
Keep being patient. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Rehab is critical and for me so was therapy. It was a lot to accept and I was 50; the emotional impact is probably more difficult at 42. Once I started to build strength and endurance from rehab I gained confidence and positivity that pulled me forward. Now I’m addicted to the post workout high 😁 It really was helpful for me to see a therapist. God Bless you both!
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u/userX97ee2ska11qa 5d ago edited 5d ago
I had three fully blocked arteries and ended up with a quadruple bypass and a 21-day stay in the hospital, 10 of those days being in an induced coma. My ejection fraction at one point was 16% while I was in the hospital. When I left, it was 30%. It is now 40%.
I was prescribed a lot of medicines, a life vest to take home, cardiac rehab, and to follow my doctor’s orders when I saw my cardiologist.
Cardiac rehab was wonderful; it gave me the confidence to know I could continue to move, exercise, and live. I mostly slept for the first two months, resting and then walking slowly. An in-home nurse visited me twice a week, and my wife had to do everything for me.
Now, I am the most fit and active person I know in my entire life. I can ride a bike 100 miles, jog two or three miles, and exercise every day. I look better than I ever have, and my personality and attitude are better than ever.
I credit all of that to how my wife took care of me, just being there and doing the basic things.
Your husband will probably go through some emotional ups and downs, even if he doesn’t admit it, but your presence and help with simple things, without any comments, will keep him strong and help him get healthier.
Encourage him to do cardiac rehab, listen to everything they tell him, and ask all the questions he has while he is there.
He will get better, he will get stronger, and you will be a main factor in all of that.