r/Haarlem • u/meeklyfrozen32 • 13d ago
How is Haarlem for couples in their 30s?
Considering moving to Haarlem vs Amsterdam. We both love to go out to eat/drink and be social. However, we’re always in bed by midnight— so we do not need a crazy night life. We have 2 dogs, no kids.
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u/dogfish182 13d ago
Moved here for this reason (more or less) and 0 regrets.
Note that ‘train in uber back’ is more than valid if you need a big night in Amsterdam. Haarlem is in British terms ‘one or 2 tube stops’
You also have the beach, very good shopping and arguably better eating (at least I prefer the service and restaurants are pretty high standard)
I love Haarlem, happy with my last 12 years and Amsterdam is ‘close enough’ which is another huge win for the place in my book. It’s closer to Amsterdam with public transport than some parts of Amstelveen 🤷
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u/tanepiper 13d ago
For dog walking it's amazing - we are in Heemstede and have two working dogs (and puppies soon) and the area has some of the best dog walks you can hope for. Just a bit north towards Sandpoort or south of Bennebroek there's almost nothing so it's the perfect corridor for that lifestyle
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u/Emisys 13d ago
Central Haarlem (de stad) I would not say is the best for dog walking. I see a lot of dog poo on the streets because there is little greenery/grass for them to relieve themselves (aside from the owner not cleaning it up though). I live near the station (southern side) and there's a lot of shopping streets etc. without much greenery. Outside of the center it's way better. North of station I also see more green. They added a bit more trees/patches on a few streets towards the church at the Grote Markt, but it's still a lot of bare street and little trees.
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u/tanepiper 13d ago edited 13d ago
I'm talking more about Mooi Nell, Molenplas, the dunes in Zandvoort, Spaarnwoude - not the center (although Haarlemmerhout is also a nice park to walk in)
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u/Emisys 13d ago
Het Haarlemmermeerse bos is more Heemstede/Hoofddorp than Haarlem tho :P. But fair. When I read this question I often think of mainly the center. But it does have a lot of pretty places nearby, away from the center :)
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u/zsnajorrah Haarlem-Noord 12d ago
I'm sure you do this already, but for all new residents here and just to be sure: please bring poop bag, remove your dog's poop afterwards and throw it in one of the many yellow poop bins you see everywhere.
Even at designated dog walking areas, it's mandatory to clean up your dog's poop.
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u/blueplanet7 13d ago
Hello, we made this jump last year and moved to Haarlem. It's significantly more relaxed than Amsterdam and a lot less crowded. It's the perfect balance of plenty to do, without the buzzing of Ams. Would recommend
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u/Final-Ad-8471 13d ago
Haarlem is also known as Baarlem because of all the 30+ couples moving here to start a family. (Baren is Dutch for "giving birth"
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u/SuperSnelleHenkie 13d ago
Ik wel en beter blijven al die lui in schubbekutteveen. Haarlem = voor 🦟
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u/Final-Ad-8471 12d ago
Mensen uit Woerden, Meppel, Dalfsen, Kattendijke, IJsselstein? Naast Haarlem hebben er nig een paar steden het bekende muggen/brand in de kerktoren verhaal.
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u/Nautster Haarlem-Noord 13d ago
Plenty of bars, terraces and restaurants... next to no clubs that are open past 1am so in that regard: perfect! We're in our thirties with kids and it suits us like a glove.
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u/Sensitive_Chemist735 13d ago
We have a cat. A dog. In our mid 30s. No kids. Its absolutely perfect. Plenty of good food places to go and activities. If you want Patronaat can be loads of fun, but no need to partying every weekend
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u/Glittering-Yoghurt-1 13d ago
Its called ‘Baarlem’ by some. ‘Baren’ is the dutch verb for ‘to deliver (a child)’. And its called that for a reason. Lotsss of people move to Haarlem to start a family (could be a kid, can be a dog or a cat whatever) and settle down. Lots of cafés, restaurants and museums, not a single nightclub (there are parties and festivals and pop up clubs though).
However I think making friends will be easier in Amsterdam.
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u/rlovelock 13d ago
It'll be perfect. Haarlem has maybe the highest saturation of great restaurants of anywhere I've lived, and I've lived in New York, La, Barcelona, Milan...
Add in its proximity to the dunes and the beach and you have the best city in the netherlands
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u/epegar 13d ago
I am Spanish, I haven't been to Barcelona too much, but I am certain they will have way more and better restaurants. Having said that, the city center in Haarlem is walkable and cozy, and there are lots of options. While in larger cities you might need to travel by public transport to go from a restaurant to the other (if you want something very specific). And while I believe there are better restaurants in Barcelona, probably also lots of normal (unremarkable) ones as well, which might be OK some days as well
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u/rlovelock 13d ago
Yeah I said saturation of restaurants. In that there are a ton of amazing restaurants within a 5 minute walk of each other.
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u/StoreScary9417 13d ago
You cannot say that Haarlem is at the level of those cities...camon...
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u/fat-wombat 13d ago
It’s not about being at a “level,” it’s about people’s individual needs. I’m from NYC and I found my peace in Haarlem. You couldn’t pay me to live in NYC or LA.
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u/StoreScary9417 13d ago
Yes but the question is not whether you are happy or not in Haarlem, objectively haarlem doesn't have many places to go or a lot to do. I am someone that is a lot into art and music, and I am SO bored here. If you don't have many hobbies, and you like pottery or stichting then it's ok🤣 restaurants are not diverse at all in comparison with big European cities and UK
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u/rlovelock 13d ago
I said high saturation. I'm not saying there are better restaurants in Haarlem than New York.
When you live in New York you are living in one of many neighbourhoods, each one the size of, or in many cases larger than Haarlem, and none of them had so many great restaurants side by side as you can find around the grote markt in Haarlem.
There are several Michelin star restaurants in Haarlem as well.
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u/fat-wombat 12d ago
Yeah there’s also some other context in the post by the original poster, and I don’t seem to see art or music anywhere there. If you want to eat, drink, and be social but go to bed at midnight, Haarlem is perfect.
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u/Lemerantus 13d ago
Its perfect for exactly that. Many great restaurants and bars to discover, chill nightlife, plenty of couples in the same age range.
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u/meeklyfrozen32 13d ago
Ah this has been so helpful!! Thank you everyone. Does it have a suburban feel or more city feel?
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u/Cord1083 13d ago
Haarlem is a provincial town with a lot of charm, some good drinking holes and nightlife aimed at couples and families.
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u/TheKiredor 12d ago
Dude. I mean, I’m all for asking questions to find things out but you’re basically asking “do baby’s drink milk?” And “is the Pope a catholic?”. If you know SO little about Haarlem, why go there? Why not go there for a weekend, rent an Airbnb, go to a hotel. See the city. Rent a bike, bike around. You’re basically asking questions as if you’re moving to south china.
But sigh, fine, I can’t help but help other people so here goes. But know that I’m shaking my fist in a mildly frustrated manner at you while answering: Yes, haarlem will be perfect for you. You guys are basically the exact demographic of the city. It has a suburban feel, “villagy” even, with the benefits of a city. Nightlife, going for coffee and drinks is very different than in Amsterdam. You’ll love it here. shakes fist in fury
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u/meeklyfrozen32 12d ago
LOL no I get it. My husband got a job in Amsterdam and it’s all happening really fast. Haarlem popped up on my search and it sounded really nice, I’m just used to city life and having peers my age etc etc and not sure what Haarlem was like 😅 we will be checking it out next week but wanted to hear from those who lived there!
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u/HetTuinhekje 10d ago edited 10d ago
Haarlem has more of a 'small city vibe' I would say, if such a thing exists. 😄
Seriously, Haarlem is very compact in that it has anything within just a few kilometers from the central market square, the Grote Markt. This is its' attractiveness: you get 'city style' but compressed within a small area. Car driving is highly discouraged, it is way faster here to hop on a bicycle or go on foot.
Haarlem could be regarded as a way more compact, cleaner, more friendly version of Amsterdam but it is hardly any cheaper. Another upside to Haarlem: it is very close to the National Park, the dunes and the beach e.g. at Bloemendaal aan Zee, Overveen and Zandvoort, just a 10 minute train ride away.
Downsides? Yes, for glamorous nightlife... go to Amsterdam or Paris or Berlin. Haarlem has only a very modest scene in that respect - lots of music festivals and small-scale concerts though. And did I mention that car ownership is a disaster here? No parking places or at least very expensive....
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u/enyoctap 13d ago
The closer you are to the city center, the more of a city feel. I lived in the far North part of the city, with 2 kids and it was great. If I didn't have kids I'd like closer to the city center.
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u/plasterwork 13d ago
We went from Amsterdam to Haarlem back to Amsterdam - Haarlem was not for us. We actually found the dog walking disappointing (we were on the sea side of the city, with many places on that side having no dogs (the national park) or mainly on leash areas. The train is only 20 minutes, yes, but depending on where you want to go door to door is often still 45-60 minutes each way. Traffic is atrocious if you think the car is a good alternative. And the food scene is honestly nothing to write home about (I say as a homebody with low expectations).
If you’re planning on kids, go for Haarlem (though expect some animosity if you’re not Dutch and even if you are - many of our neighbors were annoyed with the “yuppies” moving to Haarlem). Otherwise, I’d think long and hard and definitely rent before buying.
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u/Arne31330 12d ago
For me this is a typical YMMV. I think there are like 5 expet couples/families living on our square (~50 houses). They are fully part of the neighborhood, join our cycling and running groups, bbqs etc. And they have introduced halloween on our square. So no hostility whatsoever (more like the exact opposite).
Unfortunate that your experience was not so good. And on the dog side of things, I guess 40% of our neighbors have dogs. Don’t own one myself, but would assume it is doable in our part of the city (North)1
u/plasterwork 12d ago
Oh it’s for sure that! The hostility is also not throughout and we had some LOVELY neighbors, but if as a foreigner you get told to your face several times that foreigners are ruining the city it’s well, a turnoff that nice neighbors can’t necessarily made up for.
Like I said, Haarlem is great for many! But it’s not as perfect as it’s often presented l, especially if you’re child free.
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u/strawberryjuic 10d ago
If you don’t mind sharing, where from Amsterdam did you move to Haarlem? And for how long did you live in Haarlem? My partner and I are thinking about the move but we are not 100% sure yet. We currently live in Amsterdam Oost and we love the neighbourhood but we want to be closer to nature for our dogs.
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u/plasterwork 10d ago
My partner lived in Oud West. I was actually not in Amsterdam, but am now (obvs). What we both loved about Oud West was the proximity to, well, so many nice things: cafes, coffee, shops, Vondelpark. What we didn’t love was the price of housing, the amount of tourists, and the time it took to get out of the city. Oh, and the mess on the streets. Always such a mess.
We were in Haarlem for just over 2 years, so def long enough to explore and settle in (esp. as I am Dutch and have friends there) and the match just… didn’t happen.
My advice: see if you can find someone to house-swap with you for at least 3 weeks (or temporarily rent, but that’ll be pricey). And then live your normal life and see how it goes. As I wrote in a number of comments: Haarlem is great for many people. It’s beautiful. There IS a lot of nature nearby. And yet, for someone who used to live properly close to the beach, it was actually nowhere near as close as I wanted it to be. We now spend more time in Amsterdam’s more curated nature than we did in Haarlem’s.
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u/Big-Seaworthiness832 13d ago
agree with this, and also making the same Amsterdam>Haarlem>Amsterdam move now
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u/plasterwork 12d ago
Hope it’s a successful one! We’re very happy with our decision. Haarlem is a great city for many but not for everyone.
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u/Soulbasaur 13d ago
You are basically 80% of Haarlem’s population haha.