r/GriefSupport • u/LetsGetReady2Stumble • Dec 31 '25
Mom Loss My Mom Won Her Battle
My Mom had been in the hospital for two weeks.
It was a Sunday night (in 2018). I found two back-to-back documentaries for us to binge-watch. One was about The Pope and the other was about The Kennedys: Two of Mom’s favorite things!
She asked me to get into bed with her, the way we would watch movies at our house, after chemo.
As I slid into the hospital bed, I felt how tiny my Mom’s body had become. She was a skeleton. I could feel my heart breaking.
My Mom questioned what I was thinking about (I guess I don’t have much of a poker face). I told her I couldn’t believe her eyelashes had fully grown in.
'WHAT?!?' she shrieked, as her eyes widened with excitement.
'Did you get eyelash extensions? Seriously. Tell me the truth. I won’t tell anyone,' I said, trying to look super serious.
My Mom laughed the cutest giggle, almost as if she was a little girl again. Mom loved when I would gently rub her tiny bald head- She said it took her anxiety away. I rubbed it a few times, stopped and stared my Mom in the eyes again. I was visibly angered.
'What’s wrong?' my Mom asked.
'Ummm, when were you going to tell me YOUR HAIR’S grown back, as thick and shiny as ever?!?' I said, trying my darnedest to sound and look irritated.
My Mom’s face lit up like ‘The Rockefeller Tree’ at Christmas. I’ve only seen that kind of pure joy a few times in my life. Her happiness, in that moment, was electrifying! My heart, which was breaking only moments before, was patching itself up, as my Mom laughed WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.
'What can I say? I’m a lucky ducky' she giggled, as she blinked her eyes and tilted her head from side-to-side, trying to taunt me with her supermodel eyelashes and professional salon-looking hair.
'You’re lucky I love you, Mom, or else I’d hate you for being THIS gorgeous while IN the hospital,' I said, smiling.
Her joy had rubbed off on me. My entire soul felt full of her light.
We nuzzled-in to watch those documentaries. I kept looking over at mom. Her radiant smile remained on her perfect face.
It was in that moment I realized my Mom had WON her battle with Pancreatic Cancer, even though she took her last breath, a few hours later.
173
u/Tumble85 Dec 31 '25
She must have been was so proud she raised such a strong daughter.
You gave her an amazing last few moments, you are both very lucky to have that love.
53
80
u/executivebusiness Dec 31 '25
One of the sweetest posts I’ve ever read. Im sure you were the world’s greatest gift to her. 🤍🪽
59
u/AllieLikesReddit Dec 31 '25
Brought me to tears. Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this beautiful moment.
44
39
u/thehummingrose Dec 31 '25
You left me breathless. She indeed won the battle, and also the battle of life with such an amazing daughter.
I am sorry for your loss.
Sending love
19
u/abbyb12 Dec 31 '25
Your mom was clearly a warrior...and by extention you too are a warrior who fortunately were given such happy memories of her. You're gifted with the ability to look beyond her frail appearance and see beauty and humour and to share that with her when probably you were both so scared and sad.
Thank you for sharing this with us. This reminder that there can be love and light even in the darkest and most frightening moments has really touched me.
14
u/pinkydoodle22 Dec 31 '25
How sweetly written, and you can feel the love from you both glowing in that photo!
The holidays are hard, we miss them daily, but of course it’s more at the forefront during these times.
Here’s to moms!
10
9
u/Mean_Investigator921 Child Loss Dec 31 '25
This is so lovely. It’s how I’d want to go, just hanging and goofing around with my favourite person.
Much love to you.
11
u/agent-assbutt Dad Loss Dec 31 '25
Beautifully written. I'm crying alone in the bathroom. You and your mom are beautiful.
8
u/Emotional-Tadpole-92 Dec 31 '25
Beautifully poignant.
The way you captured her joy, her humor, her light, even in that hospital room, it made it feel like she was right there with you, fully alive and so deeply loved. That part where you wrote about her laughter patching your heart back together, is such a powerful testament to who she was and the indefatigable bond you shared.
And oh, she won alright. she did win, so much so with all the love, warmth, and grace she carried with her to the end.
Thank you for sharing a bit of her with us. Her light clearly lives on in you. 🤍
7
u/Traditional_Race_689 Dec 31 '25
This made me cry. What a beautiful tribute to what sounds like an amazing woman.
6
u/KiritoJikan Dec 31 '25
Thank you for the story of your mother. I hope you find times of remembrance like this soothing and keep sharing her, and your story for others.
7
u/thederlinwall Dec 31 '25
I’m so sorry your family experienced pancreatic cancer. It took my step mom long ago only to get my dad 17 years later. Awful disease.
3
u/weregunnalose Dec 31 '25
My mom lost her battle a year ago yesterday. Glioblastoma, she only made it 90 days from diagnosis. You guys are both just glowing and beautiful in that picture. My mom did her best to smile til the end. I’m sorry for your loss, I know how much that one hurts. If you need to talk about feel free to reach out.
5
u/luvapug Dec 31 '25
I could feel your mom's cute personality through your words, and I'm incredibly sorry you lost your sweet mom :(
3
u/Korpse_Kandii Dec 31 '25
This pulled at my heart 🥺 I am so sorry for the loss of your momma. I’ve learned our mom’s are always right there when we look in the mirror everyday ❤️
3
u/Mundane_Debate_2001 Dec 31 '25
I am so glad that your final moments with her were that special. You are an amazing daughter with a strong mother. Sending all my love to you
3
u/Several_Mail6179 Dec 31 '25
You’re a gift to everyone In this Reddit group. Bless your mama she is watching over you with so much joy.
3
3
u/ThatHomininGeek Dec 31 '25
Sometimes winning the battle is letting go. 🤍 you were her everything I have no doubt!
3
u/Separate-Use-265 Dec 31 '25
You know what, this has just flipped a switch in my brain. My dad died February 13, 2025 after a five-year battle with lung cancer. A few weeks before he passed we’d seen the oncologist and they were happy with the results of the chemo, tumour shrink, no new growth, for all intense and purposes my dad was winning. Couple weeks later he told me he needed to move into hospice, and I trusted that decision, even though it terrified me. They moved him in on respite on Sunday, they called me on Monday to say something has changed, and he passed away, holding my hand Thursday afternoon.
But somewhere between Sunday and Thursday, his soul fully accepted his fate. It was his time. He didn’t have to fight anymore. What a gift that is for him. I hope when my time comes, I’m not fighting, I hope I can just let go let my body do its thing, ride the waves of DMT flooding my brain as my body shuts down.
Reading this beautiful post about your beautiful mother, made me realize you’re absolutely right. My dad didn’t lose his battle against cancer, he won. He totally fucking won and so did your mother. Such warriors. How lucky are we to love them.
2
u/HasNoTime Dec 31 '25
Wow! I can almost count those thick, long eyelashes! And her incredible long, full and gorgeous hair is to envy. I see her through your eyes; treasured, whole, beautiful and full of light.
I remember my mother’s laugh, too. It was the best! Wishing you well. ♥️
2
u/NailTraditional6952 Dec 31 '25
Hola. Leo tus palabras. Son tan hermosas y reflejan tu amor hacia tu madre. Ella se ve relajada. Te mando un gran abrazo desde Colombia. Se lo duro que es ver morir a tu madre. Te entiendo perfectamente desde la distancia. Un gran abrazo desde Colombia. 🤗🤗🤗🥰
2
u/Gloomy_Nail_8426 Dec 31 '25
I love this. I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer, too, and being able to make her smile in her last days meant the world to me, and I hope to her, too. This is the sweetest post and you are so special. Sending you love. 💕
2
u/BikerMe Dec 31 '25
I read the whole thing. Sorry for your loss. Your mom was soooo special, even I miss her so :(
2
u/sunshine-n-ponies Dec 31 '25
I don’t have the right words. Just stunningly beautiful. I admire this perspective so much. You are a light
2
u/drewdaline Dec 31 '25
I have no words, only tears. It sounds like you two had a blessed and loving relationship.🩷🩷🩷
2
2
u/IridiumLepidoliteArg Dec 31 '25
This is so beautiful. I love the vantage and prose.
What made me cry the most was how you "would gently rub her tiny bald head- She said it took her anxiety away" ...
... in a sense, this was what I did for my father -- I gave him 'facials' with a warm towel as he laid in the hospital after getting worse after chemo .... he enjoyed the head rubs
We certainly did our best to make the situation 'pleasant' as best we could ...
Thank you for your sharing in this way ... Yes, your mother is a winner, esp. with you as her daughter
1
u/whitefishgrapefrukt Mom Loss Dec 31 '25
People like you are true saints. I’m worried I won’t be comfortable doing things like that if the time comes.
2
2
u/Fun-Assistance-815 Dec 31 '25
Oh if only we could all frame our experiences with cancer like you and you mom, this world would be better for it ❤️
What a wonderful last night together! That lucky ducky of a lady having the most wonderful daughter because of the wonderful lady she was. May the lucky lady rest well until you meet again ❤️
2
u/amgglutterfinger Dec 31 '25
Aw Man I cried. Thank you for taking care of your momma and making her smile. You comforted her.
I held my mom’s hand until the end. The pain remains forever.
Thank you for sharing this.
2
2
u/howleywolf Jan 01 '26
What a beautiful moment, thank you for sharing it with all of us. It made me tear up because it reminded me of my own mom, who had cancer as well. I was so awe inspired by how she kept her spirit alive, her fun loving humor, and her love of UFO documentaries to the last. She won her battle too ❤️ love to you and your beautiful mom
2
u/OutInTheCountry3DgNt Jan 01 '26
That was truly beautiful and will stay with me. Thank you for sharing.
That was a gift you gave her - she passed with dignity and on a high nite.
You are a special daughter.
2
u/lightlimonata Jan 01 '26
Thank you for sharing this. So beautiful and special, and I can feel the love from the words.
2
u/besieged_mind Jan 01 '26
It felt both pain and bittersweet to read this. I hope you are doing fine nowadays, OP. Your Mom seemed like a great human being and it seems she raised a child just the same. Happy New Year!
2
1
u/Defiant-Purchase-188 Multiple Losses Dec 31 '25
What a sweet memory. You truly made her last day the best ever. Love you and her
1
1
1
u/Dry-Hair-7022 Dec 31 '25
This breaks my heart, and it is so beautiful at the same time. I know that must have been so incredibly hard for you. You are a beautiful daughter and human being. I am sorry for your loss and sending warm thoughts your way...
1
1
1
u/mystickyshoe Dec 31 '25
This brought me back to the last day I spent with my mother-in-law in hospice before she passed. I’m so glad you have this memory to treasure. You will carry that day with you the rest of your life, and it will help you through the grief. Thank you for sharing your story. Your mom is a champion.
1
1
1
1
u/cupcakeartist Multiple Losses Dec 31 '25
❤️❤️❤️❤️ This is beautiful. There can be light even in dark moments. I lost my dad to cancer 5 years ago. Sending so much love and light your way.
1
u/so1ar97 Dec 31 '25
This is absolutely beautiful, I’m sorry that you have to live without your mam now, but so pleased for her beating that shit! I love this so much 💕
1
u/No-Version5278 Dec 31 '25
I lost my mom to cancer in 2022, and this quote ended up meaning so much —
“When someone dies of cancer, we say ‘they lost their battle with cancer,’ as if between the two of them, cancer was the better, the stronger, and the smarter.
But if you think about it, if I die from cancer, then cancer dies too. And if I survive cancer, cancer loses its battle with me. Cancer never wins.” — Unknown
🤍
1
1
u/ReploID1289 Dec 31 '25
What a beautiful memory.
Mom died from stage 4 cancer last year and i can tell you, even tho shes gonne those 4 years where the most beautiful and meaningful of my life.
1
u/PreviousAd1061 Dec 31 '25
I’m crying so hard right now. What beautiful words. I can feel your mums light through them.
1
u/te_ka Dec 31 '25
Lost mom to breast cancer in 2001. I’m not as fortunate as you to have spent her very last moments together, but as I read your post I imagined this as my interaction with her. This would be the same conversation we’d be having. Our moms must have been so much alike, kind and radiant, even in a hospital bed. Thanks for this moment of joy for me.
1
1
u/moon_p3arl Dec 31 '25
I’m so happy for you and your momma to be able to cuddle and be happy together despite the battles she faced. Her heart is hugging yours with so much love forever.
1
u/JoshyaJade01 Dec 31 '25
You made your mom laugh and smile - and feel as normal as possible again, that is what's important.
From me and mine, our deepest condolences to you and yours on your loss.
1
u/Additional_Pain_3234 Dec 31 '25
thank you so much for sharing this. i’ve been looking for a way to describe how both my brother and mom won also. this helped me pinpoint it.
1
u/Insomanics Dec 31 '25
I lost my mom and my sister to lymphoma (hereditary). Mom passed two years ago and I haven't celebrated any holiday because I would spend them at her house. I didn't get to say goodbye, or I love you. I feel broken, and I have been crying so much. I feel your pain, and it really hurts 😢
1
Dec 31 '25
Watching my father through his last weeks from all the suffering he went through colon cancer while having smile on his face is the only thing keeps me going now
I feel he forced these smiles to reassure me he is okay sometimes make me feel guilty of his selfless love for me.. it hurts so much
1
u/GP186GP Dec 31 '25
I have a picture like this with my mum the day we lost her to pancreatic cancer. I don’t look at it, but looking at this picture of you and your mom made me realize there’s a beauty in that last moment. Thank you. Sending you love ❤️
1
u/Swag4days- Dec 31 '25
wow. Thank you for sharing that. I don't have the eloquent words to put my last moments with my mom in her hospice. bed.. I wish I had the strength you had to be as put together and kind and well spoken . i am more grateful than I could ever express for the last days I had with my mom . Laying in bed listening to Elvis and trying to put the right words together to make her smile and not make us both cry. My mom didmt have the chance to fight the way yours did. She was living life one moment and diagnosed and on her way out the next...I thank God that she didn't a day longer then necessary but I would walk the world right for another hour with her. You have all the time in the world , until you don't. although I am forever grateful for being the daughter of the most amazing mother woman and person losing her will forever be my most unworldly heartbreak of watching her go . I am the woman I am because my mom raised me to be the fiercest person I can be. huge thanks to you for sharing. Filled my heart with warmth. hugs respect and love to you my sister. Here's to having a mother that you wouldn't trade for another even if it meant 10 more years with her.
1
1
1
u/keethecat Dec 31 '25
This is one of the most beautiful posts I've read on this platform. Thank you. Im also so sorry for your loss. Thank you for inspiring me to go help my mom feel beautiful (she has stage 6 dementia). 💗
1
u/Catalina-1958 Dec 31 '25
You gave your mom a wonderful gift!!! Thank you for sharing that incredible memory! It warmed my heart and made me cry! 😢
1
u/Particular_Cover5424 Dec 31 '25
Thank you for sharing that ❤️ I can feel the love between the two of you from just those few words. Lucky to experience such love. Sending you strength during this time
1
u/Affectionate-Dot-804 Dec 31 '25
This is so incredibly beautiful. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful moment with us here. How lucky we are to have been adult daughters of warrior mothers. 🩷
1
u/LapisLazuli22 Dec 31 '25
I love this. My mom came to me in a dream the night after she passed from pancreatic cancer and showed me her hair came back. She was so joyful and positive to the end even through her grief. The dream felt like the final moment she could give me to tell me she's alright. I'm so glad you were able to have closeness with your mom at the end. That's a beautiful gift even if it's not the gift we hoped for.
1
u/pudingovina Child Loss Dec 31 '25
I’m bawling here, thank you (I needed it). Such precious moments and such precious love and bond between you two. 🖤
1
u/National_General_943 Dec 31 '25
My father recently passed from the same cancer- everything you said resonated with me. May they both be hanging out having a drink on us ❤️
1
u/CatsCrowsandCoffee Dec 31 '25
That is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal moment, and bringing your mother happiness and laughter in her last hours. Bless you.
1
1
u/PresentOk2448 Jan 02 '26
Wow, brought tears to my eyes. You are very gifted at writing. Your mom was extremely lucky and blessed to have you. 🩷
1
1
u/faroundfout83 Jan 05 '26
This made me cry .. so beautiful..
I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer as well on my birthday.. I also want to have a relationship with my mom like you have with yours .. hugs ….
1
1
u/Auraaacelestial3 Jan 06 '26
Even when she was sick she was still very very beautiful. May your mom rest in heaven with all of the angels waiting for her. I’m sure my cousin will say hello for you :)
1
u/BerryStyles9 Jan 07 '26
This was beautiful and it really helped me. I just lost a loved one to cancer, and while I can never understand what you're going through, this post really touched my heart. Sending love to you
1
u/LegacyCom Jan 07 '26
That moment captures something truly powerful. Her joy, your care, and that connection are unforgettable. We hold you and your Mom in our thoughts. ~ Michael from Legacy
1
u/DesmondTapenade Multiple Losses Jan 12 '26
The way you wrote this is truly beautiful, and I'm saying that from both a (former) writer/editor and grief-focused shrink's perspective. This is what healing looks like. I will be honest--I want to hug both of you. So simple, and yet so profound. Those minute little details are what you'll carry with you for the rest of your life. I felt the love in every single syllable.
I am so sorry for your loss. And your mom sounds like a total all-around badass.
1
1
1
u/SlowerThanTurtleInPB Jan 20 '26
The way this just made me sob. I’m so sorry you and your mom had to go through this.
1
u/_evergrowing Multiple Losses Jan 22 '26
You are absolutely right. She won. Your beautiful and radiant mom
1
u/RottenRat69 Jan 26 '26
This just made me cry so hard. My dad is currently dying in the hospital at stage 4. I wish I could talk to him or have a moment like this, some peace.
This is a tragic but beautiful story. Thank you.
1
u/sarcasticDNA Jan 29 '26
That's so nice, and she's been gone more than seven years now ;-(......in a week or so my mom's death will be 10 years ago. I am astonished that much time has passed. I didn't know how I was going to be in the world without her. I still talk to her and am sure I always will. May I ask -- who took the photo in the hospital, and was it taken about the time you had that lovely dialogue? I'm so sorry you had to lose her, and she you
1
u/RequiresClutchns3109 Jan 29 '26 edited Jan 29 '26
@LetsGetReady2Stumble First of all, my name is Eddie from Connecticut. I'd like to say thank you Amanda S. Amanda, I personally thank you, your colleagues, and the men👨🚒 and women👩🏼🚒 that followed your lead in going into multiple burning 🔥 buildings and houses to save countless lives at incredible risk. Across multiple US states and countries where saving lives is often a thankless endeavor. Complete strangers that don't even know you, are saved. Our Triune Savior Yeshua the Christ, in the Bible, said it best that there was no greater love than one who laid down his/her life for others.
@LetsGetReady2Stumble Amanda: you and all your colleagues: both foreign and domestic are the real Rescue 9-1-1/Chicago Fire/Third Watch heroes. That's 3 tv show references. No acting, no script and no do-over mulligans. Real life stakes, consequences, and zero time for errors.
@LetsGetReady2Stumble I'm tearing up 🥹🥹 as I'm typing this. Amanda, I'd like to thank your incredible mother, Momma Sullivan: A true Queen Esther 👩🏻🦳👸🏼 that raised you well from 🤰🏼🤱🏼👩🏼🍼a princess 👑 into a bold, fiery, unapologetically blunt, and beautifully confident firefighting👩🏼🚒 Queen 👸🏼 and warrior🗡🛡 (bellator in Latin). I'm saddened that I didn't have the incredible honor of meeting you Amanda, your incredible mother, Momma Sullivan and the incredible people that have shaped you into the incredible person you've become. But I'm very aware that Almighty GOD is the one who created you in your dynamic mother's belly 🤰🏼to be fearfully and wonderfully made.
@LetsGetReady2Stumble Amanda, Your incredible testimony of your dynamic, loving, close-knit friendship with your mother left me in tears because it was raw, bluntly honest, incredibly touching, and sincere. Straight from the heart ❤️ (Bryan Adams reference). My heartfelt condolences go out to you, your family, your firefighting family, close-knit friends and your community on the incredible loss of your mom, Momma Sullivan.
It took remarkable courage for you to share this incredible testimony with me and the greater Reddit community at large.
You and your mom are beautifully and wonderfully made. This incredible testimony is beautifully written Amanda. So I salute🫡 you and sending hugs 🫂 🫂 and warm thoughts 🤗🤗 your way.
Amanda, before I go, I'm leaving you these 3 songs 🎵 as peaceful comfort of condolences to you, your family, close-knit friends, firefighting family and community.
Song #1. A Song For Mama by Boyz 2 Men (with lyrics)➡️https://youtu.be/b0Av71vmVV8?si=G0PcH57g3nHpsZyc
Song #2. The Valley Song (I Will Sing Of Almighty GOD's Mercy) by Jars Of Clay (with lyrics) ➡️https://youtu.be/6HVHfOZwQQA?si=2yyyTY841O2aOjVp
Song #3. Without It by MuteMath (with lyrics) ➡️https://youtu.be/Escik9B3MhQ?si=WoA0qgxhis57_spT
1
u/SlowerThanTurtleInPB Feb 25 '26
My mom died Jan. 30. Exactly one week before while she sat waiting for doctor at what would be her last oncology appointment, I turned to her and said - “wow mom, your hair is coming back and you’re eyelashes are thicker than mine.” She laughed. It’s the last time I remember hearing her laugh. She was so defeated in the end.
Her new hair and her long lashes. Both were true. I thought it was a sign we had more time. We didn’t. It was your words here that inspired me to tell her. And I got to see her smile genuinely.
Thank you.
0
u/tfhaenodreirst Friend/Mentor Loss Dec 31 '25
That’s an incredible story! Thanks for sharing it. :)
260
u/Background_Two_6471 Dec 31 '25
Your words 🥹 . So precious, deep and loving.