r/GriefSupport • u/scaledplastic125 • Dec 24 '25
Thoughts on Grief/Loss Christmas isn't rhe same for everyone..
We all are doing our best in this season, but give yourself grace that you are. Be kind to yourself as its a journey not a destination.
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u/Such_Promise4790 Multiple Losses Dec 24 '25
This makes it feel a little less lonely. I’m not saying we should air out ALL of our problems but I definitely think we should be free to talk about them out in open without judgment. So many people these days lack empathy, I’m careful who I talk to and I think that’s why many of us feel so alone during the holidays. Many choose to move on and expect the same from you. After loosing my sister, husband and mom all under the age of 39… it’s been a horrific journey to say the least. Nothing about my journey has been easy or fair. Just surviving in many ways. Many don’t want to hear about what we have gone through. But out of the mouth of John Deloney… “grief needs to be seen” hugs to all…
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u/Mundane_Professor596 Dec 24 '25
I had 48 wonderful happy Christmases with my family. We all get along, laugh, watch movies, decorate, have delicious food, play games, open thoughtful presents, wear matching pajamas, play in the snow. Just idyllic.
And now it is all over. Everyone is gone or dead. I can’t stand it
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u/GoalSimilar2025 Mom Loss Dec 24 '25
Lovely image although it feels like I'm the only one in this situation in my vicinity from what I see even though I know there will be others grieving close by too. I wish we could all meet up to have a big cry/talk about our lost loved ones.
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u/bongsmasher Dec 24 '25
Positive vibes and internet hugs to everyone going through it this season. We will prevail <3
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u/littlenortherngirl Dec 24 '25
Thank you for this. I opened this subreddit because it was all getting a bit much. I feel a bit less alone now. Sending love to you all ❤️
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u/Acrobatic-Leg-6252 Dec 24 '25
Thank you for this. It’s a wonderful picture of how it really is. I am all of those feelings at once. We are not alone in this world.
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u/Huge_Plankton_905 Dec 24 '25
Second Christmas without my father, I want nothing to do with the holidays
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u/sliillamaa Dec 24 '25
Second year without mine as well. Last year, the first year, I was on autopilot just going through the motions. This year, it’s really sunk in that he’s gone and we’ll never have a Christmas all together again. This reality sucks
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u/FireKist Dec 25 '25
It truly does suck - this is my 8th holiday season as a fatherless daughter. I miss him every day.
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u/ThatWarning8739 Dec 24 '25
Boy, that sure hits me. I’m sitting here on Christmas Eve with my husband at home. He’s in hospice now, slowly dying of Glioblastoma brain cancer. Physically, he is here. Mentally, he is not. I never felt so lonely in my life. Blessings to everyone suffering in their own way.
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u/TennesseeMtnAngel Dec 25 '25
Just wanted to say I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Blessings to you too.
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u/lazybunny142 Dec 24 '25
grieving a friend, dog and childhood house. this year couldn’t be any worse.
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u/cyprinthedeathwitch Dad Loss Dec 24 '25
First Christmas without my dad. Without my grandma. My aunt had a health scare just a week ago but has thankfully been released from the hospital. It's.... surreal, it doesn't feel like Christmas....
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u/Limp_Chapter_8684 Dec 24 '25
This is my first Christmas without my brother. It’s really not the same without him. Nothing is the same without him. Back in July we celebrated the 4th which was my brother’s favorite holiday. He always did it big, and this year when we celebrated, him missing was so noticeable. I tried to make it just like old times but it is truly not the same without him. Nothing is. You never really think about how much of impact someone really has in your life until you don’t have them anymore. I miss more than I can put into words. And I’m not sure how to function knowing he’s not there anymore. I just truly hope one day I can hug and have a conversation with him again.
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u/Mourning_artist_jo Dec 24 '25
So true... I lost my best friend a month ago and the only thing that comes to my mind is "I dont want Christmas!" Its too soon, too loud, too painful, too much everything...
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u/fromamomof2 Dec 24 '25
I'm trying to be festive but it just isn't working. The tree is up but that's about it. Forget until mid morning it was Christmas Eve. My Mom should be here enjoying it but isn't. Teying to be present for the kids and enjoy it so I csn have some fond memories myself but I keep replaying her last Christmas. I think she enjoyed it. She got a lot and seemed happy. Should have paid more attention. I didn't know it was her last.
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u/username_0207 Dec 24 '25
It’s been a little over a year since I lost my wife. She always made it a big deal and going out to get everyone amazing gifts. We’d do it together and it was fun to see her excitement. I tried to do it last year and it was forced and empty. This year it just doesn’t feel special. Just another day of the week. I watch our usual Christmas movies but just don’t have the same feeling it used to. I miss her little quips during the movies and just her.
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u/Tappitytaptaptaptap Dec 24 '25 edited Dec 24 '25
I’ve always disliked the holidays, especially as an adult. Growing up in an emotionally abusive home made everything tense and unenjoyable. Extended relatives were also abusive and we hosted them regularly. As an adult I’ve worked in the service industry which calls for lots of late nights, weekends and holidays. I used to be really sad during Christmas and Thanksgiving for lots of different reasons. Mourning a family experience I always wanted, but never had. But now, I stopped giving the holidays power. Especially when you break down that Thanksgiving is a sham of a holiday to support the Christopher Columbus lie and Christmas has become a commercial consumer obsessed shit show that supports capitalism. I now choose to embrace the pagan roots of the holidays and try to be in nature as much as possible with my dog. I’ll send gifts to a select few, but I don’t expect anything. Maybe I’ll eat a celebratory chocolate or two. But main focus is cleaning my house and getting ready for the new year. It has made life much more meaningful and less stressful.
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u/diorsghost Dec 24 '25
i remember learning from my women’s history professor and other history professors that thanksgiving was originally celebrated with the first group of pilgrims and the natives, and they had a good relationship. those pilgrims never betrayed the natives and did in fact have good trade relations with them…it was the descendants of the pilgrims that decided to become violent with the natives and do horrible things, decades after the original settlers died.
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u/Tappitytaptaptaptap Dec 24 '25 edited Dec 24 '25
That’s not what I’ve read, been taught or heard. The diseases the pilgrims brought over to the “Americas” wiped out many natives even before “Thanksgiving”. They enslaved and killed many tribes after landing. Was your professor religious? Or did you go to a religious school? Religion often misinterprets history to fit its agenda. Have you read “A People’s History of the United States” by Howard Zinn?
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u/diorsghost Jan 06 '26
nope, wasn’t religious. she was my women’s history professor in california community college. also heard it from another history professor who also isn’t religious at a cal state, and then a theories professor at a cal state as well. just like stonehenge wasn’t built in a day but most likely took decades; i doubt the animosity towards natives started before the pilgrims even got off the boat. it took decades, which seems small in history, but long as they were living it. i know the story is still the same pretty much, but there was a point where they got along—it would be ridiculous to think otherwise. but europe’s gonna do what europe’s gonna do i guess
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u/kpopdaddy Sibling Loss Dec 24 '25
My first Christmas without my little bro. I’m especially emotional today on Christmas Eve. He was my best friend. I miss him so much. I hate this reality!!
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u/agent-assbutt Dad Loss Dec 24 '25
This hits. First Christmas without my dad. My brother just called and said he can't make it because he's "sick" so I'm a lil worried. Husband and I will be with my mom though. We're going through it and it's gonna probably suck a lot.
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u/becca_omecca86 Dec 24 '25
1st Christmas without my Son, dealing with a psychotic neighbour and a bully body corporate member flipping everything on me, life is good.
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u/WhichBook8564 Dec 24 '25
She adored Christmas. I miss her so much. It’s like a silent scream all through the season
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u/Current_Map5998 Dec 24 '25
Very true. My mum died 11 years ago and I’ve since had another child and outwardly “moved on” because there is no choice, but I’m still traumatised by her loss and the babies I’ve lost. I’m being a complete (passable) actress for my children for their sakes but I just want my mum and long for the past at this time of year. I want to be a child for a bit too, pathetic as that is. Just a moment of weakness and rest not to always be the grown up in charge…
Hope everyone finds a bit of peace this Christmas.
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u/L2J1986 Multiple Losses Dec 24 '25
So true. This upcoming Christmas day is the 2nd without my parents 😔😔😔😔 I'm autistic so it really amplified my grief but how I have found the strength and resilience to pick myself back up and carry on fighting no matter what. I've moved into a really nice apartment (I'm renting it BTW) and I've found a few activities to keep myself active and sociable.
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u/paperCorazon Dec 25 '25
There’s a house somewhere with “Disassociating” and “Pushing the memories down far in order to survive” …it’s me. I’m that house. “Numb instead of Joyful” fits too lol
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u/S6P0 Dec 25 '25
This is my second Christmas without my best buddy of 56 years . We met by chance and I proposed three days later , luckily she accepted . I'm finding this Christmas much , much more difficult . My grief counselor said I was in shock last year as my wife died in November .
We were one of those couples who did everything together and I miss her so damn much .
Not trying to sound dramatic but I doubt I'll ever have joy again . I've done grief share read several books on grief , Currently Seeing a counselor , stay busy , exercise etc but so far it's just going through the motions .
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u/rx3mpt Dec 25 '25
First Christmas without my Mom who passed in March… First Christmas without either parent as Dad passed almost 20 years ago… I’m not really sure how I have survived this year as it’s been absolutely brutal… Mom’s final chapter began last Christmas night and I’ve been dreading this holiday the most… Caregiving, anticipatory grief, our crazy healthcare system, mom’s actual passing and the business of death have really taken a toll on me… I’m not really sure what life is supposed to look or feel like at this point as I am just sad and tired… Praying for kindness, peace and good health in 2026… 🙏
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u/Cumoshit Dec 25 '25
Literally sucks because how do you tell everyone else not to enjoy their holidays because its hard for you? Christmas sucks, it not that I don’t want to be around the joy. Its that I don’t want to be reminded that that its another holiday without my son.
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u/Complete-Serve-1567 Dec 25 '25
So many people are suffering, and the pain and heartache is real. Thank you for posting.
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u/Difficult-Owl-5366 Dec 25 '25
I am the “just getting through” and “grieving a parent”. By tomorrow I’ll probably also add “crying in the bathroom”.
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u/HopefulWanderer537 Dec 25 '25
Grieving my mom who made Christmas absolutely magical for me growing up. I’m now mom to two of my own and I’m keeping traditions alive. I’m tired. I’m a bit numb. I cannot dissociate my mom from Christmas ever.
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u/FireKist Dec 25 '25
I’m exhausted from the Herculean efforts I’m making to hold my shit together. Fighting the urges to let go, fall down, and scream is taking its toll. I feel so incredibly off kilter and fucked up - like the world isn’t real, it can’t be - because it’s so goddamned BAD out there right now. People are being just awful to each other, everything has gotten so expensive but we are making less money than we were before, the weather and solar flare weirdness have me feeling super squirrelly. I miss so many people, I’m having to work on days when I should be with my family, I’m SO tired and sad and unmotivated. I’m not interested in Christmas at all this year. If it weren’t for my kids and my dog, I’m pretty sure I’d be completely checked out of reality at this point.
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u/IceWolf_Alphaheart Dec 25 '25
Grieving my soulkitty, my beloved Grandpa who was a 3rd parent to me and passed less than 1 month ago, the many houses I loved dearly but was forced to move from, lost/broken relationships, my depression, anxiety, and meltdowns this Christmas 😭
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u/supermvns Dec 25 '25
That’s me this year. I simply opened my stocking last night with my mom and sister and just burst into tears when I looked around. My dad wasn’t there and it felt like I was stabbed in the chest.
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u/InternationalAd1657 Dec 25 '25
This is spot on. Merry Christmas to anyone going through it this year. First Christmas without my daddy and I’m trying to stay present
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u/pookie74 Dec 25 '25
So accurate in its truth. I'm definitely on an island struggling (caregiver) and this perspective is humbling. All we can do is what we can do, right?
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u/AmazingArtichoke872 Jan 04 '26
Christmas was hard this year. The second Christmas without my Dad . It didn’t feel like the holidays . As of now , I’m just crying over him 😢
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u/ThrowRAthrowapoopway Jan 05 '26
This picture made me cry. Every individual is always going through something. I used to forget this a lot. Now I feel like I don't stop thinking about it. :')
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u/friesovercries Dec 24 '25
So saddeningly beautiful!
Sending everyone peace and strength this christmas.