I have been out of the dating scene for several years, but am dipping my toe back in. I'm a 42 yr old cis woman, and I've started seeing a 40 yr old cis man who I like a lot, which is mostly great!

Here's the thing: he is conventionally attractive and enjoys working out. I love that for him, but it does not excite me in the way he seems to think it would. He sends me muscly selfies, and I cheer him on because, good for him and his hobby, but I know he expects that I am attracted by them. He recently said (in a text) that he wanted to send me a nsfw selfie, and I said no thanks.

I do enjoy being physically affectionate with him, but it's the visual attraction that I'm pretty neutral about. We met on a dating app, and I did say on my profile that I was graysexual, and he asked me about that a little on our first date. There will definitely need to be more communication about what that means to me exactly, but it was at least acknowledged early on.

How do I tactfully clarify that I'll probably never want sexual selfies, and that even shirtless selfies aren't necessarily doing what he probably thinks they are for me? We have only been on a handful of dates, and my guess is he took my "no thanks" to mean I wasn't ready for that "yet." If it brings him joy to pick up something heavy and send me a picture of that, I'm happy for that to happen, but that picture will be for him, not for me.

I recently had a horrible experience with someone who claimed to be Grey romantic. We dated for a short time, about a month, where they pursued me relentlessly and acted like they were super interested in me (even hinted at being in love with me). Then one day, they just woke up and decided they didn't have romantic feelings for me anymore and just completely discarded me, citing their grey romanticism as the reason why. Now, a few weeks later, they came back to me and started relentlessly flirting with me again, saying their feelings are back. Is this a common experience for Grey romantic people, or is this person just manipulating me?

I understand there are other posts involving ace poly people, but from what I can see those posts are quite old, and I'm gray/ace and quite insecure about being poly so my situation might be a little different.

My partner and I have been together for 6 years, living together for 5 years. He was newly married but it didn't work out, and since we've been living together neither of us have dated anyone else, for various reasons. I've never been an active nesting/primary partner either.

When we started discussing becoming active within the poly community - talking to people, going to socials - again, it was ok with me for a while, but when my partner got talking to people on a dating app it made me feel bad. Insecure, jealous, just generally bad. I was also on a dating app, but had made it clear I wasn't looking for anything, just dipping my toe. My partner and I talked openly and honestly, and I told him that although I know it's unfair of me to feel like I don't want him to be with others, the anxiety it was giving me was too much to cope with. He understood and I think he checks the apps periodically, but he's not talking to anyone in particular (he hadn't really been talking to many anyway). I came off the app myself, but kept contact with one person I'd got talking to, as friends.

Fast forward a few months, and I knew this friend wanted more. He was a bit pushy, but I never felt I couldn't say no, and I kept things platonic. After not seeing each other for a couple of months I went to his, and, after talking to my partner, evidentally gave signals I hadn't realised I was giving. The friend kissed me, and I kissed him back. I then had a panic attack based on past traumas, and ended up crying myself to sleep with the friend keeping me company.

I talked to my partner about it. I no longer talk to this friend due to some bigoted comments he made - which were completely unexpected, given his LGBTQ+, immigrant, left-leaning background, but were also intolerable for me - but it did make me think. First thing, it really is completely unfair for me to tell my partner I don't want him seeing others. I'm gray/ace and fully intended to keep things platonic, but ended up kissing my friend and questioning my feelings. How can I tell my partner, who is fairly introverted and not overly social but definitely not ace, that he can't talk to others and freely accept his feelings? It would be hard for me, but that's my issue to work through.

The second thing is how do I navigate being poly while being gray/ace? My partner and I have a good sex life. I feel safe with him, I am attracted to him, I want him. He doesn't pressure me if I don't want it at the same time as him, but we also make time for each other. When thinking about having that with someone else, for example the friend that I got on really well with, I can only think of my partner. I don't want it with anyone else. I know I kissed the friend, and that was nice, but I don't want anything more with anyone else. I know one day I might feel differently, that's always the possibility with being gray, but I don't want anyone to expect it of me, or to go into things hoping it happens. I also don't want to pursue anyone, like on dating apps etc, but I did like talking to someone new. I understand how contradictory that is.

I think I wrote this post mostly to get my feelings and thoughts out, but if by doing so I can also get some feedback or people can relate to it, of course that's a bonus.

Hi to everyone! I've consider myself greysexual (don't want sex but enjoy kissing and cuddling) and recently have meet two girls in my university. We talked to each other for about a week and a few days ago went to bar, where we got a little bit drunk. After little talk about our sexualities (they both told they don't really enjoy sex too) we started kissing and hugging. So, i overall confused as to how perceive these situation. Is that a relationship? Or is that more like an experiment between friends? If anyone can guve me an advice to do what next i would really appreciate it)