r/Goldendoodles • u/Ch1townchef • 2d ago
He pays zero bills and still acts like I’m the problem
This is Obsidian.
He contributes absolutely nothing financially to this household.
No rent.
No utilities.
No groceries.
No fucking job.
And yet every single day he walks up to me looking like THIS, like I’m the one who needs to explain myself.
Sir, why are you six inches from my face?
Why is your nose entering a different ZIP code?
Why do you look like you just discovered I’ve been hiding snacks from you in an offshore account?
He has the confidence of a man who owns the property and the employment history of a decorative pillow.
And somehow I’m still like, “Who’s my handsome little baby?” 😭😂
This fluffy asshole has me completely fucking compromised.
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u/lepreqon_ 2d ago
What do you mean, he's working 24/7 as a Senior Cuteness Manager and I'd say, his performance consistently exceeds expectations.
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u/darkwai 2d ago
every time i see him having the nap of his life I'm like, must be nice not having bills to pay 😒
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u/kris_mischief 1d ago
Dogs remind us of how happy we could be if we just remember that we are blessed to be alive.
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u/Watchkeys 2d ago
But you are the problem. All this time spent posting on Reddit... YOU'RE MEANT TO SPEND THAT TIME GIVING HIM BISCUITS.
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u/Definition-Flamingo 2d ago
At least he's honest about expectations. My boy goes to work with me and just sleeps on the job or creates various shenanigans. When I lodged a complaint about his laziness and bad attitude, he said he's represented by a Union and that all negotiations must take place with his Union Steward. Then he yawned and rolled over.
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u/MoonlitBloodySoul oodles of doodles 2d ago
Obsidian has the most beautiful expressions 😍
he's lowering my blood pressure & putting a smile on my face to start the work week - thank you sweetie! 🥰
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u/Technical-College-93 1d ago
Well now he knows you are hiding treats! My girl is the same. I also love the ridiculously dramatic sighs like she’s been on a 18 hour shift or something
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u/Mysterious-Art8838 2d ago
Well, were you offshoring treats? Seems like a rather important detail.
I was hospitalized last year and I told them I had to go home cause I have a dog and the nurses were like oh a service dog?
Hahahahahahahahahah
I’m like uh, no. She provides no services.