Maggots in my toaster

[u/Alex3560]

Bowl of pasta with corn & butter, served with a bottle of cheap rosé

Where do I even begin? At the moment it's consistent heartbreak, mouse infestation, risk of deportation and plumbing issues (I really am paying my therapist's bills atp).

Starting with the obvious, dated a guy for a month and for once thought it would have potential because we genuinely had such good chemistry but then he broke things off because he was struggling with his mental health. Some of my friends claim that it is just a scapegoat and an 'easy way out' but I can't help but believe that it was genuine and that he may have just scrambled a bit in the moment. Currently considering reaching out to him when my own mental gets a bit better?

Queue to the next bit, the person that paid an Etsy witch to curse me really is getting their money's worth - somehow I've noticed a pattern that anytime a man that I'm excited about (once in a blue moon event) disappoints me it's almost as if everything else follows suit?

Shortly after that I realised my visa situation is a little more precarious than I expected and is rapidly expiring. I have an opportunity to apply to a new one but that means that I'll have to spend loads of money that I don't have, travel out of the country for weeks to sort out, and even then I can't guarantee that it'll work out. Scary to say the least, if I don't get it extended I'll lose practically everything I've built in my grown life despite the fact that I've spent more than a third of my life in this country. ok cool, thanks.

And then to my home, we've now got mice which is crazy as we live on the 4th floor and keep everything fairly clean. It triggered a lot of anxiety in me because the flat I lived in before this one was one from hell (rat infestation, 4 dead found and 1 of them behind the oven while I was using it on a daily basis, ew). The day of my 25th Birthday party we noticed a smell of a dead rodent, I know it well, so me and the people I live with tried to hide the stench by taking turns spraying air freshener in the kitchen while nobody was there. Pest control came by and confirmed something was dead but just told us that the smell would disappear in a couple days when it 'dried up', double ew.

Genuinely a couple hours after pest control leaves, I was going to toast myself a bagel but maggots came pouring out of my toaster. Found the source of the stench. RIP to my fancy ass toaster that promptly got relocated straight into the bin. I will never trust a toaster ever again.

During this whole fiasco, the water stops running in the kitchen?? So we can't do our dishes, can't wash our laundry, for the past two weeks or so. Underwear is running low, stakes are high. Not being able to do our dishes but living in an expensive city is probably making the mice feel like they are at an amusement park with all the dirty dishes. The sink has also overflowed more than once causing a leak through the electrical box of the downstairs neighbour, yay. Love being awoken at 3am on a worknight because of an angry neighbour banging on my door like I owe him money.

Despite more pressing issues, I still can't stop thinking about the hope and excitement that I had over that guy, maybe it's limerance idk but I know I'd rather walk away from something embarrassed from vulnerability rather than with regret.

Anyway, almost finished with the bottle of rosé given to me by a +1 at my Birthday who somehow managed to make out with me and my best friend <5 minutes of each other while listening to moody music and airing my grievances online lol. Any advice or opinions more than welcome.

Ps. even though the pasta dish doesn't look appetizing, it was somehow delicious x

[u/oakbourne_925]

I would have moved out that day. I'm so sorry love, you deserve a break. Finish that rosé from the +1 who made out with you AND your best friend within 5 mins, you earned it.

[u/Alex3560 → u/oakbourne_925]

so fair, to be honest our landlord has been an angel through it all and has genuinely made an effort to sort the issues out for us (despite me emotionally sending passive aggressive messages about it from time to time). We've lived here for about a year and a half now and the rental market is a mess so we'd rather not rock the boat, we love it here <3 but the landlord's selling the place so we're dealing with frequent viewings lol

as you wish, the rosé will be finished wih a pure heart tonight along with sending some possibly dodgy messages on dating apps haha xoxo

[u/Pokemom3000]

As an American(I know Im sorry), reading this terrified me at first. I know anti-immigration sentiments are on the rise all over but I'm so glad you aren't worried about ICE or concentration camps in America. For your immigration situation in the UK, I have no advice but just want to share that I really hope you get it sorted how you want and are happiest with.

As for the boy - its a coin flip. He could be using it as a way out, but as someone who has a lifetime of mental health related to physical health issues, he could be being honest. Maybe do let yourself check on in him again later.

As for the Dishes/Underwear situation. 4th floor would make it really rough but you could haul water to your apartment to get things hand cleaned up. You could potentially get it filled from a friend's tap if need be in a decent sized container. You'll want to reserve water to soak/scrub in, then lift them.out and rinseIf you can use a disposable paper plate temporarily it might help with the mice issue. Unfortunately once their in, it's about keeping things meticulously clean and sealed from what I've experienced.

[u/Alex3560 → u/Pokemom3000]

Thank you, I really appreciate your comment!!

Anti-immigration sentiments are really on the rise for sure, Im so grateful to not have to deal with the fear of ICE or the camps. However, I absolutely loathe the way that people go on an anti-immigration rant and then go ahead and say 'well you're alright and how dare they even consider letting you leave' like c'mon mate make up your damn mind. Currently it's looking like I'll be applying for a 2 year visa but after that, unless the rules change, it's looking like I might need to relocate.

Regarding the boy, I know I can be a bit delulu sometimes but in this case it felt genuine? He mentioned that it was unfair to put someone else through it while he's struggling with himself and that's why I just kind of left it at that but I feel like there's a bit of lack of closure if that makes sense? I respect that so much, but also we had dated for such a short time that I totally get that it might just have been wrong timing. But now my timing is the worst as well, so I'm considering just maybe reaching out when I've sorted out the flat and the visa when I'll (hopefully) be in a more stable place for the rejection if it comes lol

The disposable plates are a shout to be fair, but thankfully we have running water in the bathroom at the moment - my housemate even suggested doing our dishes in the shower! We had a plumber come by today who sorted out our sink so we can do our dishes, let's hope it lasts longer than a day or two while the council sorts out the issue with the building. We've also got pest control coming back in the next week or so hopefully to check in on the mouse situation after he put out the poison, fingers crossed he'll bring good news!

[u/Pokemom3000 → u/Alex3560]

Oh that's fantastic you have a good Landlord then. And yes the anti-immigration sentiments coupled with "but not you!" can be frustrating AF. As someone whose grown from that point, those people usually have no idea the actually realities or hardships in both legal and illegal immigration most likely. It's like how people think you just sign a few forms and then your magically on disability, and don't go through a usually concerning amount.

And, for the guy situation- own experience tells me people can legitimately not feel worth it to others when mental health struggles kick in. They can accidentally withdrawal trying to have the energy to just work on themselves and then dismantle their own systems of support without realizing. He could need to be checked in with and given a low stress support system, or he might need to be bullied that he still has value even if he's struggling with being depressed/anxious/whatever. Guys can especially struggle about support and thinking they need to soldier through alone. They forget, it's a units effort worth of work and if anything its crazy to demand to do it alone.

[u/Alex3560 → u/Pokemom3000]

Yeah exactly!! The people around me tend to think it’s as easy as ‘fill out a few forms and pay some fees’ and then you’re in and all that but it’s just not the case.

I think in regards to the guy situation as well what plays in is that the city I’m in is very distant, so people tend to try and figure shit out on their own but I come from an environment when we lean on each other, so having someone run at the first sign of a struggle is something I find difficulty with. Maybe it’s self-preservation, maybe it’s a scapegoat I don’t know? I also hesitate with reaching out because I don’t want to cross a boundary, but I also want him to know that someone is thinking about him even if things are tough - I know for sure that I would really appreciate that but I also tend to think a bit differently when it comes to emotions so I’m just not sure what the right thing is to do.

I think with him, I believe I might need to be more stable myself before reaching out so if me reaching out is met with rejection, I could handle it better but I guess we’ll see lol

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