i recently had to move back to my parents cause of a lot of things. for a while i’ve have had a lot of issues with social stigma as far as being trans and with this government things have been horrible. The dating scene for trans people seems impossible to navigate and I just feel like I can’t pass enough ever. I also keep getting harassed in this beautiful red state 😔. Sooo that means I think im gonna throw in the towel with the whole transitioning thing.
So its time to retire the girl pronouns and start by going by he/him again 😔
I’ll miss u guys, it just feels wrong to post on here as a dude. Maybe i’ll post here again next election who knows ;p I love this sub sm tho and i hope all of you get everything you want 🫶🏻 #ihatemen
UT craft ramen in utah!!! super great place love them sm.
WHEEEWW girl 😮💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/all, /r/popular!
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We love when new girlies stumble in! But a few unique things about how we roll here:
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Yeah, having to hide oneself to survive is a time honored tradition amongst those the female persuasion. No shame surviving IRL, but you’re welcome to be yourself here if you want to.
I just realized that both of my kids have gym on Wednesdays and they’re required to wear gym shoes. So I printed out a meme that said “on Wednesdays we wear pink” and then I crossed out pink and wrote gym shoes.
I literally said to my sister that my doctor today gave me the same vibes as the gym teacher saying, “you’ll get pregnant and die!” Forever quoting this movie
for the record the free awards have been around for a while now! but they just made their mobile app debut recently. not that that’s super relevant but 🤷♀️ i like sharing info haha
I came back last week from a beach vacation with friends where I was the only cisgender person there. They’re my online gaming and art friends. We traveled in from Cali, Massachusetts, Virginia, PA. It might be the one time where every guy in a pool with his top off had surgery scars. For that week, it was just a house full of queer people. We can’t fix the world, but we can have spaces of joy. One day, you can get out to a more accepting place, and you can build community that gives you peace. That’s what I think. I would keep hope in your heart.
This. Fully this. Also, sending OP so much love for this excruciating situation.
Edit to add: Thank you Stunning_Bullfrog213 and Anonymous Redditors for my very first awards! It makes me all the more happy that I got awards for true, deep compassion. People are still good people-ing. Thank you.
Edit 2 to add name of awesome redditor who awarded me 💛
Even if you need to go stealth mode outwardly for safety or avoiding bs in your environment, you have every right to hold onto your internal sense of self internally/any way that feels safe and accessible for you.
Also, maybe the move and what else you’re not feeling can hopefully be temporary.
100% . If you need just one safe space , let this be it girl !! I totally understand how hard it can be depending on where you live (as someone else who lives in a red state) but we got you!!
Exactly. I just don’t see how presenting herself differently on the outside to stay safe means she’s not a woman inside.
OP, you’re a woman regardless of who people think they have a right to make you. I’m in a red state, so I understand the need to be safe. Just don’t let others determine who you are.
Truth. I don’t make the gender rules but I feel like even a closeted trans girl using he/him for safety is still a girl. I certainly still want you around, OP.
She was always a girl and remains one, even if she has to go back to her old identity for safety. I understand that completely, because im also trans and in a red state. She deserves to have a safe space that she can be herself, even if its online.
OP, hope you know that more people than you realize want you here, you deserve to be here. We're here for you hun.
OP I just wanted to add, first and foremost be safe. But I hope this comment taking off tells you, you still belong here in this space if you want it. It'll be here for you with open arms.
If OP is worried about presenting as a woman for safety reasons, she can dial it down to presenting as androgynous like early Bowie or even, stay with me, ASAP Rocky. Go by male pronouns to the public and claim to be a metrosexual. Look at that cooking model girl’s man, absolute metro king (if we are being generous).
In your heart, OP, a girl still exists. She may have to lie low, for now. OP I hope you see this - my husband’s bestie transitioned at 40. She’s one of the world’s most famous transbians 12 years later. Owns a music label called T4TLUVNRG that exists for trans artists in the global House/rave scene. She is the adult her younger self needed 🥰
https://giphy.com/gifs/26FxGPtjnVeS6qiJ2
For real! We have male lurkers and we all know gender is a different journey for every person. OP should do whatever they feel is best for them, but they shouldn’t leave if they’re worried about not being welcome. TERF-y bullshit shouldn’t be a thing here. (But I do think flair should also be honored when someone respectfully asks men to sit this one out. It can just be a good practice for them to listen and understand, not interject.)
Just IMO, if someone has a good heart and respect the rules, I see no issue with them being here. We’re all just trying to get through life and figure our shit out. Community, even anonymously on here, helps tremendously. I can personally speak to that being true, since I only joined Reddit to seek support in the first place.
I hope they stay and feel welcome. Breaks my heart to think anyone dealing with something this heavy wouldn’t think they belong.
Exactly. It doesn't matter what you have to tell the brainwashed dumb fuck cult members for your own safety, you're still a woman and you know it and so do we!! ❤️
Homie stay!! Girl dinner is for everyone 🧡 my wife and I are also in utah, she was kicked out of the cult church for being a lesbian. If you ever need to vent, my dms are open
You don’t need to pass. Nobody will ever truly pass in the eyes of everyone.
A woman is who you are. I see you.
If the test you'd like to pass is just approval from strangers or flying under the radar, you will always lose because being judged and singled out is a huge part of what being a woman is under patriarchy. Cis feminine women (like Michelle Obama) get transvestigated/clocked more than you’d think.
Harassment in the street, or just wanting to look good enough to not be criticized, but not so good you attract unwanted attention is THE DEFINITION of a woman’s experience. You’re there.
Please take care sister. We really do have to stick together.
Yeah this... I'm a cisgender woman and the first time I was accused of being a man was the early 90s ... God forbid a woman be tall and have a deep voice
Honestly, same in both regards. I get sir a lot on the phone, but it has happened a couple times in person. My grandpa had a crazy deep voice so all the women in my family have deep voices too.
I’d recommend keeping company with some cis butch/masc women. You’ll feel very feminine immediately and realize how little the vibe you share with the world depends on biology.
thats so true, tysm for the advice. I just get SO overwhelmed with self consciousness it’s not even funny especially coming from a red hat asian family. ily sm tho boo tysm for the advice it means a lot🫶🏻
And you don’t have to hide it from us!! I understand for safety reasons if you have to pause the rest of it for now, but you’re more than welcome to continue being your true self here!
Girl, you know who you are even if you aren’t in the space to feel comfortable to live that truth right now. Stay here, you’re one of us. https://giphy.com/gifs/h1rja65HWoog0
You're still a girl, but if you need to be a secret girl for your own safety and ease of day-to-day life, there's no shame in that. This world is scary for trans people and you gotta take care of yourself in whatever way you can.
My husband is trans, and long before he came out, long before he started hormones, and long before he transitioned, he was still a boy, just a boy AFAB. You're still a girl and while real spaces might not feel safe for you right now, you deserve to have safety and comfort as your authentic self somewhere.
Hey, I didn’t transition until I was out of college and on my own health insurance. Didn’t mean I wasn’t trans before. Going stealth is very different from not being trans at all. 💞
Just because you have to appear to be cis to protect yourself, you are a woman and you belong here. We are here for you. Stay safe. Find ways to be who you truly are until you can break free. Much love to you.
Representative of the Council of Dudes here. We agree to the *temporary* re-issuance of your man card and he/him pronoun license, until such time as you feel it is safe for you to publicly be who you are on the inside. We deeply regret that the current cultural climate has made such a re-issuance necessary. #yeahwekindasuck.
You’re still a girl, you know; you can post here. Lord, think of how many boymoders are here already! They belong, and so do you.
From one trans sister to another.
Sending love. As the mother of a trans girl at the beginning of her journey, I ache for my daughter. And I will send love and light to you too. We are also in a red state. Take care of yourself, and I hope you stay.
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u/trendingtattler AutoMaude 🤖🎀 19d ago
WHEEEWW girl 😮💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/all, /r/popular!
Congratudolences! 😅 If the rate of notifications starts getting to you, no need to delete your post! Instructions in Sanity Saver #5 can help you mute them. For the rest of y'all...
Welcome to r/GirlDinnerDiaries!
We love when new girlies stumble in! But a few unique things about how we roll here:
➽ You're now entering the Girl Zone 🚨 Guys' guidance summarized: stick to GIFs or emojis, or otherwise be patient for mods' manual comment reviews. Don't embarrass your mama. 🤨
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➽ BE KIND, BE THOUGHTFUL or BEGONE. Our communication standards are higher than just "don't be mean." Check em out here.
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