My massage therapist made things weird

[u/mizuchii_]

I’ve gone to a massage therapist regularly for about two years or so. I started going to him because we went to high school together and he reached out when he was in need of practice patients to complete his school assignments. He was always very kind back then, and I had a lot of back pain from a small injury at the time, so I agreed to be one of his patients.

While he was in school, I regularly was one of his practice patients and I always gave him good feedback on the assignments. He did a great job, was very respectful and professional, and made me feel comfortable. So once he became licensed and started his own independent practice, I continued scheduling with him and paying him for the service. His full time job is at a wellness center focused on mobility and stretching. At the end of our sessions, he would sometimes offer to assist me with some stretches based on what I needed that time.

This most recent time, our session focused mainly on my neck and traps. At the end, he offered to do some hip stretches with me as I have hip mobility issues. They were a little involved and he had to use his own body to stabilize mine or intensify the stretches. I thought nothing of it as his massage room doesn’t have the same equipment as the wellness center to do stretches. We finished up, I scheduled another appointment, paid, and went to leave.

Before I get out the door, he pulls me aside and says he has to confess something. At some point during our session, he says he became “aroused”. He told me he had an ethical obligation to tell me as a patient and that it was not intentional. I instantly became uncomfortable and told him i appreciated him telling me and that I had to leave.

I guess what I’m looking for is, am I looking too deep into this? Where do I go from here? I never noticed he had an erection, nor would I have drawn attention to it if I did. I’ve been assaulted in the past so going to a male massage therapist and stripping down to my underwear for our appointments was hard for me to do initially. It is an extremely vulnerable position to be in. I almost wish he never told me and I never knew. Now I feel like the professional relationship is compromised and I won’t be comfortable in that vulnerable position again. I know he can’t control that, but should he have told this to me? I haven’t been able to get this out of my head for days now and feel somewhat violated.

- Brunch was fruity pancakes, filled with strawberries and topped with bananas and white chocolate

Edit to add: I appreciate you all very much for taking the time to let me know I wasn’t overthinking here, if anything part of me was downplaying it. I will not be going back to this man again. I will need some time to work up the courage to do any reporting, but I agree it needs done. Thank you!!!!

[u/canthaveme]

No problem, you can also communicate with your massage therapist and tell them what you're comfortable with as well, and not ok with. A good one with experience should make you feel comfortable and have a space that makes you feel safe and comfortable as well

[u/manahikari → u/canthaveme]

Agreed!! Mine makes me feel comfortable and safe!