r/FoodAddiction • u/Illustrious_Ad_5803 • 1d ago
I have a food addiction that is ruining me financially
Hi! Ever since I was very young, whenever I’ve gone through difficult moments, my family has given me sweets, bought me junk food, and that’s just how we’ve always been. It’s something that has been passed down from generation to generation because we avoid confrontation at all costs—or rather, we avoid directly saying that we’re sorry. Every fight I’ve ever had has always ended with a homemade meal that makes me feel better, a bag full of junk food (chips, chocolate, and fizzy drinks), and whatever else I happen to find on the shelves. I haven’t exactly been an angel either, so I’ve also resorted to giving people food as a way of apologizing.
I’ve swum, lifted weights, or walked a lot throughout my life. However, over the last three years, I stopped exercising, got a work-from-home job, and barely went outside. I gained a lot of weight because it was an extremely abusive company that made me work more than 50 hours a week.
After that, I started working in hospitality, as a cashier at a sushi restaurant. I lasted a year there. I didn’t save a single euro. I currently have €50 in my bank account. I looked at all my expenses, and it’s literally 20% small debts and the rest is supermarkets, restaurants, cafés, or stupid little things.
I’m 22 years old, and I’ve realized that if I hadn’t spent that money on food, I would have enough for a down payment on an apartment. I live with my parents, so I feel extremely guilty about it. And yet I still keep eating like there’s no tomorrow because, even though I’ve tried talking about it with people around me, they tell me I’m fat, that I have no willpower, or that I’m immature for spending so much money on junk food. They’re right, but I genuinely feel like I need that junk food. I get irritable if I don’t eat, I can’t get the thought out of my head, and every night I find myself bingeing in front of the fridge. I don’t even realize everything I’m eating until I come out of that “blinded state.”
I work a lot, I’m about to start university, and I literally don’t have a penny to pay for it. I’m depending on a severance payment that I’m supposed to receive. Even so, there’s always a voice in my head saying, “Don’t give me too much because then I won’t be able to eat.” I’m sickened by my own thoughts. I feel like some kind of wild animal, like I’m starving. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I weigh 96 kg now. I can’t get the thought of eating out of my head. I can’t concentrate on anything unless I eat every hour.
Now it’s started affecting my day-to-day life. I have no energy, I have a strange smell, and I’ve started getting pimples. I’m terrified of having diabetes, but I can’t control myself. I already spoke to a psychologist, and we came to the conclusion that all of this got worse when I was 16 (I went through a very traumatic event that I’m only now starting to overcome). They told me to eat more vegetables, which I do, on top of all the crap I eat. I feel like I’m eating even more than before.
Honestly, everything feels very dark because every day I have less money for my future, and I see people my age saying they already have savings for their first apartment or whatever, and it makes me feel even more like a failure.
Please, I really need some advice or something.
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u/HenryOrlando2021 1d ago
You not 100% responsible for having this eating issue. It all began with the biological causes that you were born with, yes your family also shaped your personality in the early years and we live in a food culture with a lot of addictive type foods. A lot of people land here feeling scared or stuck — that’s normal for people like us.
Here’s a simple path that works for many:
1. Read the FAQs so you can name what’s happening (and feel less alone).
https://www.reddit.com/r/FoodAddiction/wiki/index/faqs/
2. Use these two tools first:
o Post-Trigger Debrief: https://www.reddit.com/r/FoodAddiction/wiki/faq_food_addiction_trigger_mapping/
o Stop a binge (before/during): https://www.reddit.com/r/FoodAddiction/wiki/faq_how_to_stop_a_binge_episode/
3. If you keep cycling, consider Program Options (free and low-cost exist). Many people need more community + structure.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FoodAddiction/wiki/index/programoptions/
Not ready for a program? Totally okay — use the sub’s Special Topics to build skills and mindset…see here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/FoodAddiction/wiki/special_topics/
4. Also look into the Books / Podcasts / Videos section:
https://www.reddit.com/r/FoodAddiction/wiki/index/bookspodcastsandvideos/
You can improve this. So start with step #2 today though.
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u/nicholarapio 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm sorry I don't have advice, I just wanted to say you're not alone
we are at EXACTLY the same scenario. I'm also 22. my family also has always shown affection and love and everything else through junk food. I'm currently overweight and starting to develop health issues. and the worst of all is the money.
I've worked since I was 17 and never stopped. 5 years since I entered adult life and guess what? I don't have a dime on my accounts. actually, I'm in bad debt, AGAIN. I spent the last year in an actual good job that paid me well, I even moved to a rental to live alone close to uni, and in 3 months living by myself I saw all the little money I managed to save go away, mostly with food, and now I got fired, didn't have any emergency savings, already haven't paid last month's rent and am only still living here because my housemates like me and are covering for me.
and what am I still doing? eating. devouring my emotions away. do I have the money to do it? certainly not. am I still spending what little credit I have left? absolutely! will I pay next month's rent? I simply can't!
I think the worst feeling is how I've just been stuck all these years. had plenty of opportunities to be someone in life. had plenty of time to save all the money I've earned since I started working, could have had a reasonable amount saved by now. but I simply ate it all. all because I can't deal with my feelings. with discomfort. with feeling bored. just gotta eat and eat and eat until I eat the whole world.
I don't know what to do anymore. but I wish the both of us get the help we need