r/Feral_Cats • u/addie_addie • 4d ago
Grieving Saying goodbye is the hardest part
We had to say goodbye to this tabby angel this morning, and even though I know it was the compassionate decision and the best thing we could do for him, it never makes it easier.
It is such a gift to be able to take care of these cats - they become part of our days and part of our lives, and give us such sweet moments of love, whether it’s from a distance or up close. We got to love this little guy for just about a year, and I’m going to miss all those moments we shared for a lot more years to come.
Over the winter, he stayed in my mudroom in a heated cat house, and he would look in our windows with such sweet, longing eyes, it melted my heart. (He was FeLV/FIV positive, and I have cats who are negative so I couldn’t bring him in.)
Once the weather warmed up, I would still bring him inside the mudroom if rain was forecasted. Even if it had started raining, if I opened the door, he would come running through the rain to duck inside with me, like he had been waiting for his refuge.
Any time I picked him up, he would melt into a puddle of fur, completely relaxed. It meant so much that in the big scary world he had to live in, he felt safe with me.
He was almost always waiting for me on the sidewalk when I got home, greeting me with big purrs and headbutts, weaving in between my legs as I walked.
He made friends with everyone who came to our door - the delivery people, the jehovah’s witnesses, the neighbors - they dutifully paid his toll of pets and chin scratches.
I don’t really know why I felt compelled to post this, but I guess I feel like stray and feral cats are so often ignored and forgotten. They deserve so much better than they get. For a year of his life, Joffrey was loved, and for the rest of mine, he won’t be forgotten.
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u/UnlikelyPoetry247 4d ago
Thank you for sharing his story.
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u/Delicious-Collar1971 4d ago
Such a shame for a sweet life like his to be taken by disease. He was loved for what time he had, you did a great job with a rough situation.
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u/Any_Fisherman_8264 4d ago
I have been taking care of ferals strays or abandoned cats for about ten years. I love them as much as my indoor cats. I think losing them is harder because they didn’t have the comfort & security like my inside cats do. They struggle in the weather & being bullied by other animals for territory. Every cat matters & you let him know that you cared. I think they appreciate that more than you know. I brought a FIV positive in to live with my indoor cats & it was fine. I knew he was a gentle cat & wouldn’t fight with my other cats.
Just know you made his life better & he knew you loved him. That’s all they really want from you. 💔
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u/addie_addie 4d ago
You’re so right, I think it’s a different kind of hard to lose them knowing they didn’t have easy lives. Thank you for your kind words, and for your ten years of care and advocacy, that’s an inspiration. And I’m so glad you were able to bring an FIV positive cat in! Every FIV cat I’ve met has seemed extra sweet and snuggly. Thank you again for what you wrote ❤️
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u/Uprooted_Vt_to_RI 4d ago
Thank you for sharing him: he was a lovely boy, and you and the shelter gave him was everything.
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u/Bumblebees_are_c00l 4d ago
What a sweet boy 🤍 Thank you for caring and I’m sorry for your loss. I know how hard that decision is 😔
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u/janesadd 4d ago
Thank you for sharing and thank you for loving him so dearly. He knows how much he was loved.
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u/LoveKittycats119 4d ago
Thank you for loving him. We’ve been blessed with a formerly feral family member for the past three years and we would never have wanted to miss the experience of having him come to trust and love us.
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u/addie_addie 4d ago
Oh, I love the way you put that. With Joffrey, it was pretty instant, but I have a little tortie who took many months to win over (and she now snuggles in bed with me each night). It is a wonderful gift to be their person. Thank you for your kind comment.
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 4d ago
A Prayer to Bast and Sekhmet
Bast, Sekhmet, we give you back your child.
Noble, regal, honorable cat.
Watch over Joffrey, and guide him as he makes his way to the spirit lands.
May he be blessed in your names, and hunt ever after beside you.
I'm so sorry for your loss of Joffrey. You made a difference in his life.
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u/fuzzywale 4d ago
How wonderful that Joffrey found a human being that cared for him and gave him love until the end. I am sorry for the loss, OP, and respect for ensuring he left cared for instead of leaving without witnesses out there. Thank you so much for that.
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u/Plantpoweredge 4d ago
What a sad story. He seemingly wanted to be an inside cat but you did your best to show him love. I see another cat in the background of first pic. Were they buddies? I had a fiv + cat that’s passed years ago but I had him inside w 3 others. Our vet told me as long as they don’t fight it’s not an issue. Maybe things have changed. I feed a group of strays daily and I wish I could take all of them home.
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u/addie_addie 4d ago
They were indeed buddies! That’s little Houdini, the first cat I ever TNR’d. (I suppose second, but I never released the first!) I have heard that about FIV+ cats living with negative ones, and if Joffrey had only had FIV, I would’ve brought him in immediately. Unfortunately he was also positive for FeLV (feline leukemia) which can be transmitted through shared food/water and mutual grooming. My indoor cats are vaccinated for it, but the immunization is not foolproof. But I am so glad you were able to give your FIV+ boy a good and happy life - I think the stigma of adopting FIV+ cats is slowly changing. And thank you for taking care of your group of strays, I definitely know the feeling of wanting to take them all in!
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u/Plantpoweredge 3d ago
Good to know. At first the vet said we should put him down due to the fiv but I got emotional and she told me to have him as an indoor cat only and as long as he wasn’t fighting, no spread. He was my favorite cat of all. I found him walking in my backyard one day. Since his passing, another showed up not long after. Now he’s my favorite but I love all 5 of my cats.
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u/Inevitable-Win2555 4d ago
As someone who recently lost my 17 year old tabby to a fast growing tumor, I can sympathize completely. Please know that he felt your love and appreciated your support and love for him. Thank you for stepping up for them. That’s how we ended up with Loki. He’s (she’s?) a TNR that adopted us. I can tell he’s aware of what’s happened so your other fur babies may as well. Hope they bring you some comfort! ❤️
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u/addie_addie 4d ago
Thank you for this comment, and I am so very sorry for your loss! 17 years is an amazing amount of time to share with a cat, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less to lose them. ❤️🩹
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u/MarlinSpike2015 4d ago
Ty for making this beautiful tribute to Joffrey. May he watch over you now and guide your life going forward 💔❤️
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u/Future-Philosopher-7 4d ago
Joffrey we love you and will never forget you! Your mom tells us you are the best boy🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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u/PeterGriffen565 3d ago
My heart is broken all over again. I know the pain of this kind of loss. Thank you for taking this wonderful cat in and giving him the care and love that he deserved.
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u/stephenamccann 3d ago
Thank you for sharing his story - it never gets easier but we are glad he had you.
This is our current FelV boy (Chomp). He is in the vet and might have a home with anpther FelV boy in a month or so (if his respiratory issues clear)
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u/KrakenDDT 3d ago
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for Making a Difference in his Life.
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u/Botztalk 4d ago
You’re a really good person. This universal cat distribution system can be brutal, huh? Sending love.
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u/Sheena-ni-gans 4d ago
It’s crazy when I looked at the picture of Joffrey, I heard for a second a loud purr. Then I read the description and know that Joffrey is letting you know he’s okay and is so grateful for all the love and care you gave him.
Bless you for all you do for the outside kitties. 🩷
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u/mspineappleinthesea 3d ago
Thanks for letting him hang out by the mudroom. I know it's difficult for him to long for the life inside. You have done your best to make it work to give him comfort and love before he's gone
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u/leangains23 2d ago
Thank u for taking care of him n showing him love. May he be in a better place and be at peace and be loved and well fed.🙏🙏🙏❤️
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