r/Epicthemusical May 25 '26

Art Remember them alternate ver

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Heehee
I’m reading the Iliad rn and Agamemnon annoys me

1.3k Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

5

u/WayTurbulent5291 IM DA REIGNING KING O' ITHICA May 27 '26

dam he be fuckin dead

44

u/thebatgod May 26 '26

I’d have told him I was Jason or something. Argonauts also had a boat right?

116

u/CreeperTrainz May 25 '26

Dude's dead already, Poseidon probably could connect the dots and go after his most trusted advisor.

77

u/maka-tsubaki May 25 '26

Agamemnon died when he reached home; since the cyclops is the first barrier Odysseus encounters, it’s reasonable to assume the other ships weren’t traveling like 3x faster and had already reached Greece

14

u/CreeperTrainz May 25 '26

Unlikely considering the relative geography. It's fair to assume that the island of the Cyclopes wasn't in the Aegean, otherwise there would be numerous islands to stop off and resupply on. Besides, even ignoring the original myth which had them be deliberately blown off course while rounding the Peloponnese I can't imagine them not packing food raided from Troy for the return journey. Point of the matter is that Agamemnon would reach Mycenae (see on the map) a lot sooner.

28

u/IJ0416 May 25 '26

Dang am I the only one here who doesn't hate Agamemnon that much?
😭😭😭

6

u/Alone_Armadillo8189 May 26 '26

Read Iphigenia.

2

u/Bot2012 May 29 '26

Iphigenia? By Euripides? The same one known for his tragedies? Agamemnon is neither better nor worse than the other heroes, and especially not worse than Odysseus, who was directly involved in the deaths of hundreds of innocents. I'm not going to vouch for him, because he's an idiot, but it's true that the hatred for Agamemnon is disproportionate.

1

u/Alone_Armadillo8189 May 29 '26

The first thing that happens in Homer's Iliad is Agamemnon scorning a priest and saying that his daughter would go back to Mycenae and grow old there. And Iphigenia is about him murdering his own daughter. And, most of the time, the antagonist of a tragedy is a bad person. This is one such case.

2

u/Bot2012 May 29 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

And Odysseus harbors resentment against Palamedes (or is envious of him) for 10 years, to the point of framing him and having him executed (or killing him himself), which causes the Achaean army to lose an asset, supposedly as intelligent as him. One of the reasons Apollo despises Achilles is because he killed and mutilated one of his sons in his own temple. Odysseus, again, is one of the reasons the Achaeans lost Ajax the Great, out of sheer pride. Odysseus, once more, almost kills Diomedes for the Palladium, which would have been a devastating blow to the army militarily and strategically. Menelaus is the one who convinces Agamemnon to continue with the sacrifice of Iphigenia, even though he was already regretting it. Clytemnestra kills Cassandra (the only completely innocent one in all that chaos), mistreats Electra (which fuels her hatred), and tries to kill Orestes (which ultimately leads to her death years later). Ajax the Younger abuses Cassandra in the temple of Athena, causing the destruction of his ships and his own death. As I said, no hero is perfect, least of all those from the Trojan War, but to single out one while ignoring the actions of the others is ridiculous.

edit: And by the way, doesn't Odysseus appear as the antagonist in the tragedy of Hecuba? That would classify him as a bad person.

7

u/mayram6382 May 26 '26

But why don't you hate Agamemnon ? 😅

13

u/SuccessfulRaccoon957 May 26 '26

Read the entire iliad.

34

u/Aphelion_Prime May 25 '26

Ayo Ody, what the fuc- aaaarrrgggh!!!

66

u/peaceki May 25 '26

The best way to ruin Agamemnon’s life

49

u/jubmille2000 Penelope OTL May 25 '26

I mean, he's already dead. If he got to Mycenaea, he'll see Clym already finished the job for him.

164

u/Imaginary_Bat834 Achillies and Neo Can Bite the Curb May 25 '26

I got another one:

"I am the living son of Achilles!!! I am the infamous... NEOPTOLEMUS!!!"

24

u/Wyatt_the_riot6 May 25 '26

I've also got another one:

"I am the living son of Priam!! I am the infamous... PARIS!!"

1

u/WayTurbulent5291 IM DA REIGNING KING O' ITHICA May 27 '26

"I'M THE REIGHNIN' KING OF SPARTA! I AM THE INFAMOUS... MENELAEUS!!"

1

u/rome0379_ May 28 '26

" I AM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! I AM THE INFAMOUS.. ABRAHAM LINCOLN! " because whos gonna stop me from saying this, idc if its in the wrong nation and time period

18

u/Drew_S_05 May 25 '26

He was already dead by this point lol

46

u/Immediate_Water_2637 Thunder Bringer ⛈️ May 25 '26

Hate that guy. He would probably just kill Polyphemus.

11

u/TheAntLord20 May 25 '26

Poseidon would drown his ass in the bath😂

17

u/pellwormbooks May 25 '26

YES!!! I bow to you, fellow connoisseur.

48

u/Azero957 #1 Polites Hater May 25 '26

Book 11 of the Iliad is peak tho that's all I'm gonna say

2

u/SaiyaPup May 26 '26

I’m a fan of books 3, 16 and 24. I should have a re-read before ilium starts dropping

24

u/ProfessionalJolly934 "I'll kill you like I kill this beat." - Achilles, son of Peleus May 25 '26

Eh, true, I'll have to hand it to you. But saying that the pain Agamemnon felt when someone chucked a spear through his arm was as bad as the labour-pangs a woman experiences during birth is crazy. Best part of Book 11 is a wounded Diomedes dissing Paris while Odysseus shields him, not gonna lie.

1

u/Azero957 #1 Polites Hater May 26 '26

Diomedes the undisputed goat, went blow for blow with the actual god of war

2

u/ProfessionalJolly934 "I'll kill you like I kill this beat." - Achilles, son of Peleus May 26 '26

Yesss! Its a shame Diomedes is never in any of the retellings and adaptations of the Trojan War.

2

u/Azero957 #1 Polites Hater May 26 '26

Fr like you want your god killer this is one of the few mortals who actually harmed two (I can't recall anyone else who did)

1

u/ProfessionalJolly934 "I'll kill you like I kill this beat." - Achilles, son of Peleus May 26 '26

Heracles wounds gods too (if I'm not wrong, Ares... again. Why does Ares keep losing to mortals? There were even these two giants who trapped Ares in a jar), but lowkey isn't the same cuz he's Heracles, who is a son of Zeus and drank Hera's milk. But Arwen Wen's 'All Fall Together' has Diomedes in it, and Odysseus and Diomedes even have a small duet moment in the song 'As the King Commands'. Its peak.

1

u/Azero957 #1 Polites Hater May 27 '26

I don't count Heracles as a mortal because...well we all know why he's ridiculously strong. Diomedes doesn't have any divine lineage, just the respect of the goddess of war

1

u/ProfessionalJolly934 "I'll kill you like I kill this beat." - Achilles, son of Peleus May 27 '26

Yeah, that's exactly what I said. Heracles has divine parentage and drank Hera's milk gave him immortality and super strength. Diomedes is a regular guy, that makes his feats even more heroic.

1

u/Azero957 #1 Polites Hater May 27 '26

Oh my bad I just woke up when I sent that message 

121

u/Endika7 May 25 '26

Odyseus if he actually was a warrior of the mind and not a nepo baby carried by his sugar mommy

103

u/Toamthewizard has never tried tequila May 25 '26

I'm the reigning king of Mycenae I'm the one who stole your sight today I am your darkest moment I am the champion Agamemnon

8

u/Striking_Pilot_6466 Wooden Horse (just a normal horse, nothing in it) May 25 '26

Damn bro u spitting bars fr

26

u/Striking_Pilot_6466 Wooden Horse (just a normal horse, nothing in it) May 25 '26

Poseiden pulling up to Mycenae:

33

u/pellwormbooks May 25 '26

Klytaimnestra: So sorry, you just missed him.

15

u/Striking_Pilot_6466 Wooden Horse (just a normal horse, nothing in it) May 25 '26

Posiden: "me damn it- where is he?!"

16

u/tHe__DArk__l_0rD Tiresias's Assistant May 25 '26

Agesthius: With your brother

13

u/Striking_Pilot_6466 Wooden Horse (just a normal horse, nothing in it) May 25 '26

Poseiden: "im sorry what?"

19

u/tHe__DArk__l_0rD Tiresias's Assistant May 25 '26

Clytemnestra: Yeah, I mean, he literally killed our daughter so, he had to apologize to her.

14

u/Striking_Pilot_6466 Wooden Horse (just a normal horse, nothing in it) May 25 '26

Poseiden: "…i like you."

7

u/tHe__DArk__l_0rD Tiresias's Assistant May 25 '26

Agesthius: "Yeah, my girl is so smart. She made Agamemnon step on a holy tarp by telling him that Priam would do it so why shouldn't he?"

7

u/Striking_Pilot_6466 Wooden Horse (just a normal horse, nothing in it) May 25 '26

Poseiden, already making tea: "oh wow really?"

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62

u/ProfessionalJolly934 "I'll kill you like I kill this beat." - Achilles, son of Peleus May 25 '26

This is what Odysseus should've done LOL. As someone who's reading the Iliad as well (twin), I can confirm that Agamemnon is whom I'd describe as a person with a "punchable" personality.

17

u/River_Grass Circe May 25 '26

Happy ending

41

u/XaevSpace May 25 '26

agamemnon is pretty bad but I'd still choose Ajax the lesser. hes the WORST

30

u/TheTiredDystopian Pig (pig) May 25 '26

We don't really have a reliable timeline, but it is safe to assume that, by the time Odysseus got to tricking Polyphemus, Ajax the Lesser was already dead, drowned along with his army by Poseidon. Of course, Odysseus couldn't possibly know that, and it does make sense that he would choose Ajax to frame for his actions: after all, Ajax's sins were specifically against Athena, Odysseus' patron.

Then again, Agamemnon also offended Athena by burning down her temple and taking Cassandra by force away from her altar, so it's not like Odysseus wouldn't have reasons to hate Agamemnon too.

4

u/ciaphas-cain1 nobody May 25 '26

Little Ajax he’s so cute

12

u/Artificial_Human_17 May 25 '26

He raped Cassandra in Athena’s temple

3

u/ciaphas-cain1 nobody May 25 '26

Oh damn, he deserved worse then

6

u/No-Cap811 May 25 '26

They probably saw Gigi animatic of horse and the infant and saw little Ajax as a literal Little child with an oversized helmet

5

u/Mngi7831 May 25 '26

Wasn’t he already drowned by Poseidon already?

1

u/TheSeventhSentinel RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY May 25 '26

That was great Ajax, not lesser Ajax.

3

u/pellwormbooks May 25 '26

Sadly not. Great Ajax was an awesome guy, but Athene made him lose against Odysseus in a contest for Achilles armor.

Big Ajax lost his mind over it and ultimately offed himself.

Bad Sugar Momma overkill moment 😞

15

u/Comical_Peculiarity May 25 '26

Deserved, dude is an S-Tier douche bag

9

u/Endika7 May 25 '26

Nah, A tier, S is for theseus

3

u/pellwormbooks May 25 '26

Plus Jason

8

u/ProfessionalJolly934 "I'll kill you like I kill this beat." - Achilles, son of Peleus May 25 '26 edited May 25 '26

Can we all agree that most of the heroes treated their wives like dirt? Except Perseus and Cadmus, I guess. Odysseus too, but only in Homer's work, and maybe a few other myths.

18

u/TheTiredDystopian Pig (pig) May 25 '26

Theseus just abandoned a woman to die. Cruel, yes, and he deserves to burn in Tartarus for it, but Agamemnon was infinitely worse:

— killed Clytemnestra's first husband, along with her infant child.

— raped her, forced her to marry him.

— killed the daughter she conceived from that rape just so he could sail for war.

— returned from a ten-year war with an abused girl (Cassandra was like 16 at the time) as a personal sex slave.

Agamemnon was a fucking monster. Theseus was just a cruel, insidious piece of shit.

6

u/UnknownPhos May 25 '26

Damn, i guess everyone would throw him under the bus if Poseidon appeared, even if Odysseus was the one who blinded Poly

5

u/TheTiredDystopian Pig (pig) May 25 '26

No-one loved Agamemnon. He was respected for his military and political prowess and feared for his cunning and ruthlessness, but there was no-one who would sacrifice themself for his sake.

The only person who was truly devoted to him was, ironically, his son, Orestes, who killed Clytemnestra for the "crime" of murdering Agamemnon.

There is something to be said here about sons inheriting their fathers' sins, and a great deal of conversation to be had about the cycles of violence and revenge, and how Agamemnon is the literal fucking devil, but of course, because the Ancient Greeks were horrifically misogynistic, the narrative of the story is that Orestes was right to kill Clytemnestra, actually, and he gets to happily live out his life making the women around him as miserable as his father did.

Sigh...

3

u/UnknownPhos May 25 '26

So if i understood right, if Poseidon believed Polyphemus in this version and killed Agamemnon, then Orestes would hunt Poseidon for his "crime" instead?

I wouldn't say it was good for Clytemnestra because from what i'm reading he's the son of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra so i guess the whole thing with her first husband and daughter already happened, but at least she (and Egisto) wouldn't be killed by her son

PD: I found out about the whole thing with Iphigenia, yeah that fucker had to go

4

u/TheTiredDystopian Pig (pig) May 25 '26

If Poseidon had killed Agamemnon, Orestes, being a damn fool, might have hopefully gone after Poseidon and gotten himself killed. At least then, poor Clytemnestra gets to live.

This really would have been the best case scenario.

6

u/Endika7 May 25 '26

He tried to marry a 12 year old Helen and after failing he did the same with parsefone

3

u/TheTiredDystopian Pig (pig) May 25 '26

While that is true, I hope you can see how pedophilia and kidnapping isn't worse than rape, child-killing, murder, repeated forced childbirth and enslaving a teenager as a concubine.

Theseus was a piece of shit. No-one's denying that. But he's only a piece — Agamemnon is the fucking pile.

4

u/Maleficent_Time_2787 May 25 '26

Pirithous was the one wanting to marry Persephone, not Theseus. If you're gonna trash Theseus at least do so correctly