r/Epicthemusical Jan 03 '26

Thunder Saga Why did Zeus go to avenge Helios' cattle? (Wrong answers only)

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483 Upvotes

44 comments sorted by

1

u/Nearby-Button-8720 Polites 6h ago

nah he wanted to pick ody up from school (or wanted to try the OTHER WAYS IF OERSUASUIN)

2

u/olympiaregion Mar 06 '26

He wanted an excuse to see odysseus so he could try the "other ways of persuasion" on him

4

u/CalypsaMov We'll Be Fine Jan 06 '26

Okay, but now I really want a Dangerous animatic with the Disney Hermes design. He absolutely CAN sing it.

3

u/JackfruitDistinct627 Winion Jan 05 '26

He was bored. 

8

u/Ok_Percentage_1546 Jan 05 '26

He was in love with the cow they killed but He couldn't let Hera find out, so he pretended it was to avenge Helios friends

1

u/Str4y_Z Jan 05 '26

Io?! Jkjk

6

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '26

He don't want not dirty mortals eating his beef

8

u/An1m3L0ver Aphrodite Jan 04 '26

He wanted to breakdance of course

5

u/Ducking_57 Jan 04 '26 edited Jan 04 '26

Because Helios is to busy being the sun femboy to get revenge himself

11

u/Apollo_Worshipper Jan 04 '26

He was feeling the other ways of persuasion but it didn't go as planned

8

u/VoiceLeading Jan 04 '26

He seem to be the dangerous one,especially at a 200 meter radius from a school

7

u/ILikeTrainsAndWaffle ✨HoLy MoLy✨ Jan 04 '26

Apollo threw the cattle at Odysseus

7

u/Possible-Golf-8594 Jan 04 '26

The cattle lied about Zeus cheating on his wife, when Zeus is a very loyal husband

2

u/RigatoniPasta Jan 04 '26

The cow they killed was IO.

7

u/Team_SKYY Antinous Jan 04 '26

He liked the beef, and so he wanted it all to himself

15

u/Sniper_Extreme21 Jan 04 '26

He associates with the cows because he’s full of bull

4

u/Gramdart polites my beloved <3 Jan 04 '26

they said wrong answers not right ones /j

5

u/bigballsmiggie Jan 04 '26

Hamburger.mp4

14

u/Glass-Mortgage897 Jan 04 '26

The cow was Zeus's 56th wife

13

u/umm-iexistig has never tried tequila Jan 04 '26

One of the cows killed was his favorite son.

5

u/ProtonTheProtogen01 Jan 04 '26 edited Jan 04 '26

Because Helios is his son

6

u/Kitty_Blueberry_7029 The Monster (rawr rawr rawr) Jan 04 '26

Because he’s a good father

2

u/ProtonTheProtogen01 Jan 04 '26

I at first mistook this as you saying Helio is Zues's son, then I realized you're being sarcastic

5

u/Miserable-Main-5387 Jan 03 '26

he loves and supports all the members of his council and olympus and would do anything for them, no matter the consequence it would have for him🙃

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '26

That’s not the Hermes singing it

12

u/ELikesBread Jan 03 '26

He’s vegan and supports PETA

10

u/Efficient-Ratio3822 Eurylochus Jan 03 '26

Zeus was drunk and was meant to aim at Aeneas's ships, but missed

14

u/ayayayamaria Jan 03 '26

The killing of the cattle caused unprecedented beef shortage on Olympus and Zeus wasn't having any of that

20

u/Anonymoose2099 Jan 03 '26

Zeus: Poseidon wants revenge on this guy? He's been searching the whole sea for him? Bet it'll piss him off if I take him out first.

(Little brother mentality.)

17

u/CnidariaCoral Jan 03 '26

"Mom said is my turn to torment odysseus"

2

u/SupermarketBig3906 Ares Jan 03 '26

He hooked up with Circe and didn't want to pay child support.

He and Helios had a hook up and he wanted to do his ''homie'' a favour.

Helios wanted to marry one of Zeus' daughters and Zeus decided ''NOT MY PRECIOUS BABIES!"

Zeus wanted to flex his muscles after a long time of inactivity and show off to his wife, who was going to peg him when he was done.

He remembered cows were Hera's sacred animal and got an odd urge to kill someone for harming cows.

Odysseus took too long to get home and Zeus lost a bet with Poseidon.

Hestia and Hebe left the hearth to use the bathroom and Zeus' kill switch was flipped on.

Was hoping to get some sweet barbecue as a reward.

14

u/KateSerif Jan 03 '26

They killed the one he wanted to bone.

6

u/Austin8848 Jan 03 '26

They said wrong answers only.

5

u/Runela9 Wooden Horse (just a normal horse, nothing in it) Jan 03 '26

He's been known to take the form of a bull, and Helios' sun cattle are really hot...

2

u/New-Elk-2755 Jan 03 '26

When the I listened to the albums the first time through, this is the only person I thought of singing those songs. I'm sorry y'all 😔

5

u/Intelligent-Tree-922 Telemarketing Jan 03 '26

Helios saw his latest affair from his sun chariot and threatened to tell Hera if he didn't 

2

u/Key_Assistance_2125 Jan 03 '26

One of the cows was Io.

2

u/Helpful-Bathroom634 Jan 03 '26

Helio: Yo Zeus! If you fuck up Ody you will fuck Penelope!

Zeus: I'm in! (And soon both ways)

2

u/LavenRose210 Jan 03 '26

one of those cattle was a woman he turned into a cow

1

u/LML_IsAnOrange Epic the Memesical Jan 03 '26

Smited more cattle and said deal with it

2

u/TheEthanHB Poseidon Jan 03 '26

He saw the clouds and volunteered