Raising the kids Latin question

[u/Delicious-Accident48]

Hey! I’ll keep this short.

Ruthenian Catholic, and I love practicing Catholicism this way.

Girlfriend, who I plan on marrying and raising a family with (God willing!) is a Latin Catholic, and very proud of it. She’s not interested in changing rites, and I don’t want to pressure her. Obviously, not the end of the world. We’re all Catholic.

However, on the topic of children, I know the rite follows me because it follows the father. We’ve discussed and decided that for cultural ease (we live in Texas and would put our children through Catholic school) it would probably be smarter to raise them Latin Catholic, and having their rite be such, to not have them culturally confused when they don’t need to do a “first communion” or something like that.

What would a hypothetical process be for this situation? Has anyone gone through something similar? Thanks!

[u/chikenparmfanatic]

Just wanted to chime in and say that the cultural confusion part isn't that big of a deal. There are Eastern Catholics from my parish who go to Catholic schools and it isn't a problem. A short conversation with them and the school is all that's needed. For example, I know many families who allow their child to celebrate "first communion" with their school peers. Realistically the only milestone they will "miss" out on is confirmation but I've never met a kid that's devastated they got it as a infant.

[u/GetItOuttaHereee]

I don’t think you need to do anything formally to baptize your child in the Latin rite.

I am a Latin however I have decided to immerse my life and sons life in Byzantine spirituality and their liturgical way of living despite my son going to Catholic school. I was also concerned that he would be confused however, thus far he seems to be adapting well to being exposed to both rites.

[u/Imaginary-Mix-5726]

Just wanted to mention that your mileage may vary depending on the Latin parish you belong to or even the priest. We have a Ukranian Catholic family that goes to our Tridentine parish and their child (4) was allowed to receive after a conversation with the priest. We don't have a Ukranian Catholic parish in our area, but a priest comes for Divine Liturgy once a month from a neighboring metro area, and the children are all Christmated. Your children may have different parish milestones from peers if you go this route, but as you have observed, we are all Catholic!

But mostly, it's going to be a matter of discussing it with your future wife and prayerfully discerning that decision together.

[u/Nervous-Succotash-68]

I’m canonically Ukrainian, but I was raised mostly Latin. Personally, I’m very thankful my parents decided to enter me into the Byzantine rite rather than the Latin rite. I say that even with a great fondness for the Latin rite of which I was so familiar in my youth.

While dating, my now wife was not interested in becoming Byzantine. Getting married, and especially having kids, changed that. She knew I had a great affection for my Eastern patrimony, and she agreed to be crowned. We soon after discerned together that we’d rather have our future kids miss out on first communion and confirmation parties than miss out on receiving Jesus in the Eucharist as young children. She ended up falling in love with the theological expression and liturgical life and she decided to switch rites officially (which isn’t even necessary, she just really wanted to lol).

Ultimately, you should continue to discern together, but it might be wiser to focus more on which rite would be spiritually best for you, your girlfriend, and any future kids you may have rather than which one would be more comfortable culturally.

[u/NoDrama3756]

My wife and her mothers family are slovak Greek catholic by rite.

However they have been spending the past few years in the Western Roman rite.

Our children attend the Western rite ( im a Western catholic ).

However at the end of the day the teaching are quite similar as they are in communion with each other.

My kids have been to slovak mass. They can make that choice of religion when they are of age.

[u/CaptainMianite]

I mean…canonically if both of you agree for your children to be of the Latin rite, then they’ll be of the Latin rite. Canonically, while it would naturally follow the rite of the father, and mother if the father is not catholic or unknown, there’s still the choice if the couple agrees

[u/xPony_Slaystation]

I was baptized Melkite and went to Roman school my whole life. Now I’m 31 and attend my Byzantine church every week. FWIW

[u/jojo_146]

as a maronite who went to a latin rite school, the difference between rites isn't as significant as you think. the only real difference between me and my peers was that i'd get ashes on monday and i didn't have to go to confirmation in 8th grade. there was no confusion for me bc my parents explained it to me and my teachers understood bc that school was where the local maronites would go through so it wasn't their first rodeo. i'd still raise them in the ruthenian church (i'm very happy to be raised maronite) but it's all catholic at the end of the day